• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2011
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Fanfiction masochist. :B She/they https://ko-fi.com/presentperfect

More Blog Posts2567

  • 1 week
    Fic recs, July 12th!

    Maybe I should just switch to posting on Fridays. c_c For one, I wouldn't be competing with PaulAsaran, but more importantly, I can't seem to remember to post on Thursdays anymore. >_<

    Also what the heck are those ratings, oh my god :O

    H: 4 R: 2 C: 3 V: 0 N: 0

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    7 comments · 180 views
  • 2 weeks
    Fic recs, July 5th!

    TheQuinch has done a reading of Cold in Gardez's The Destruction of the Self!

    I spent all of yesterday collating the hit singles of 1967 and forgot to post! c_c;; On the upside, extra review!

    H: 2 R: 3 C: 4 V: 0 N: 0

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    5 comments · 159 views
  • 2 weeks
    State of the Writer, June 2024!

    Another year older and deeper in hecc D:<

    I kinda forgot to write this up yesterday. :B For no good reason. The reason being that I was not having a good day lol

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    12 comments · 145 views
  • 3 weeks
    Fic recs, June 27th!

    gotdang, errbody be postin' reviews today! :B but hey, a normal review blog on a normal Thursday, what could be nicer? :D

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    3 comments · 193 views
  • 4 weeks
    Fic recs, June 20th!

    ...Yaknow, I had kind of been looking forward to having a nice, meaty review plate for today's post as we get back into weekly reviews hopefully, but I just realized, I haven't listened to a single fic all week. D: First it was because of Jenny Nicholson's incredibly engrossing four-hour video about a Star Wars hotel, and then it was because I don't know, the timing just keeps not working out!

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    2 comments · 233 views

Fic recs, November 22nd: 1000th journal edition! · 8:28pm Nov 22nd, 2015

Yes, here it is! The one, the only, the thousandth journal of my posting journals here on this site! I didn't know if I wanted to do something special, but then Admiral Biscuit told me I had to and I realized I had a half-completed special edition review journal just staring me in the face, begging to be posted! A thousand blog posts, you'd think I'd know what the fuck I'm doing

What's so special about it? Well, nothing actually, save that it was an excuse to actually read things I wanted to for once. >:B I mean, I hardly ever get to do that, it's special to me. So this is just a whole bunch of random shit off my RIL. :V Hope you guys like it BUT HEY FIRST ANNOUNCEMENTS

For instance, my newest reading, of a fanfic entirely in German!

Also, if you were interested in what I thought of Over the Garden Wall, you can find my thoughts here.

Okay that's it. :B Read below the break for reviews of Going Anywhere by Eakin, Miller Minus's Up There, Never Said by RazgrizS57, and a whole lot more, including my 2700th review of ever!

H: 1 R: 5 C: 3 V: 4 N: 8

Never Forget by DegeTheMighty
Sequel to Up Here and Do You Remember?
Genre: Romance
She wonders why she loves him.
Yes, it’s more fluffy Thunderlane/Blossomforth shipping. And to be honest, the writing seems considerably worse than even Up Here’s occasional mistake. There are missing words, repetitions, typos, the whole nine yards. And I can’t really get a feel for their relationship (they’ve married since Do You Remember?) because neither one of them has much character. I don’t know if there’s another entry in this series, but I don’t think so, and this is an unfortunate way to end it. Off to a bad start! D:
Not Recommended

Going Anywhere by Eakin
Review #2700!
Genre: Slice of Life
A stallion escaping an arranged marriage meets someone interesting.
I knew what was happening the moment the mare introduced herself, but this was still fun to watch unfold. Happily, my suspicions were never confirmed, making me feel rather clever; always a good feeling to come away from a story with. The comment mantra of “contrived but cute” fits well; I personally enjoyed the tale of two ponies escaping the trials of high-class life for an unsure future in another city. There’s maybe a single POV switch, but beyond that, this is a satisfying read and I look forward to the sequel.

To Love a Goddess by Brony2893
Genre: Romance
Artemis is finally going to tell Princess Celestia how he feels.
This got off to a bad start and never recovered. The simple fact is, I never gave a damn about Artemis. Things like him being in love with Celestia, being the butt of everyone’s jokes, and being Shining Armor’s longtime friend did nothing to endear him to me; quite the opposite, in fact. That said, for all that this did not have the best of setups, I did at least appreciate where it went. Artemis is well aware that he can’t be with the Princess, and when she confronts him over the letter he sent, it’s not to reciprocate his feelings, but to reward him for being honest. This could have been a lot worse, is what I’m saying.
Vaguely Recommended

Give a Little by gordobraveheart
Genre: Christmas Special
On a Hearth’s Warming shopping trip with her sister, Sweetie Belle encounters a stallion who isn’t smiling.
This is pretty cute, but it’s got a ton of writing problems. Everything from tense to spelling to dialogue is pretty much nothing but errors. The plot, while fairly stock and cute to watch Sweetie Belle run through, is presented overly simplistically, perhaps because of the dialogue problems. This isn’t one that will satisfy many people, unfortunately.
Not Recommended

You Are Not Alone by Shining Star
Genre: Novelization
After her parents died, Cadence was left alone, a freak, with no one to turn to.
I really dislike stories that just stretch out an image or comic or animation into writing. I don’t just mean fanfic: I’ve never cared for movie novelizations either. But if you read the comic linked to in this story’s description, congrats, you don’t need to read the story. Sure, it adds in a little introspection and background for Cadence, but it’s not really anything you won’t know if you’ve read Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell. The dialogue is ripped straight from the comic, and it begins on the first panel and ends on the last. I just don’t understand why people do this. Read the comic, it gets the ideas across just fine.
Not Recommended

Up There Miller Minus
Reading by Illya Leonov
Genre: Dreams
Luna tells of a dream she saw while trapped in the moon.
This is a really clever way to work dreamwalking into Luna’s exile. It’s full of symbolic and emotional dream imagery, and the prose just draws you effortlessly through the story. Lines like “the Moon was not such a bright place, no matter how much the sun selflessly gave up for it” are what you should come to this for. I can’t think of much to say against it, though the ending will take a good deal of careful reading to fully grasp. (I may or may not have been drunk while reading it.) This is totally worth it, especially if you want some purposefully angsty Luna.

Never Said by RazgrizS57
Genre: Second Person
You know nothing. It’s time you learned.
This is the kind of 2P I like, which is to say an external voice monologuing at a character, rather than a regular story with “I” replaced by “you”. So try reading it and then ask yourself the question “why is this ponyfic?” Because it is, no doubt about that, but its trappings are not overt. The revelation at the end, once puzzled out, really puts the whole motivational speech angle in a different light. There are a few confounding word choices, but otherwise, this is quite effective, and definitely recommended for readers wanting something a little different.

Gonna Fly Now by gmen15
Genre: Slice of Life
Scootaloo asks for flying help from another pony with tiny wings.
I was interested in this because of the obvious but little-explored connection between Scootaloo and Bulk Biceps (here called Snowflake). Unfortunately, the writing is a real letdown. The narrative is almost entirely telling, and it’s just so flat. Plus, there are odd things like the incidental Carajack and ThunderDash shipping. The latter exists to give Scootaloo a reason to feel neglected by Rainbow Dash, but this is pre-Sleepless in Ponyville; those reasons weren’t hard to come by back then! I can’t stand the characterization of Rarity as a love-’em-and-leave-’em stallion chaser; that has no import on the story whatsoever. Lastly, I didn’t really notice the comedy alluded to by the tags. I will say that Snowflake’s motivation is pretty good, but it doesn’t make up for a story marked by mistakes.
Not Recommended

Let Them Eat Cake by darf
Mature: Sex
Genre: Weird Sex
This is a story where, and it takes a while for this to become clear, Celestia sets up a sexual roleplay in which she’s assaulted, degraded, and force-fed junk food. I don’t know what to say. I think the draw is a character study, trying to see how this might appeal to someone in her station, but I just can’t see the appeal whatsoever. Also, it’s got POV shifts. I have to wonder how this ended up on my RIL.
Not Recommended

You Are the Father by DancesWithBaglez
Genre: Dr. Phil (Among Other Things) Crossover
Spike calls a talk-show host to help him find his parents.
Here’s one I read earlier! In it, Dr. Phil asks Doctor Who to find random reptiles to be Spike’s parents on his show, and it’s who he finds that’s the draw. I can’t say much for the writing, or even the humor, but just the sheer ballsiness of this crossover is hilarious all by itself (and the writing’s at least adequate, if you ignore the random HTML tags). It goes go rather far into crackfic territory, and not everything works, but if you like talk-show drama or ridiculous crossovers, consider this one.
Recommended If You Like Random Shit

Down by the River by mr maximus
Genre: Slice of Life
Big Macintosh talks with Spike.
I was kind of dreading this one; there are so many stories where Big Mac and Spike talk about Rarity that just do not work. If this one works, it’s because Big Mac is talking Spike down from a Nice Guy funk. His advice at the end is, eh, decent, but then his actions at the ending paint their conversation in an entirely new light, which is to say completely ruins it. And for all that I detest treating Sparity as anything serious, Big Mac frankly comes off as a tremendous asshole, or else I’m reading this wrong. Someone check this out to see if I’m wrong, but otherwise
Not Recommended

Never Forget Me by Rated Ponystar
Genre: Sad
Twilight is surprised when she receives a notice to attend the funeral of Trixie Lulamoon.
This is a neat idea, but it’s marred somewhat by the writing. The piece opens with an unnecessary recap of Magic Duel, and large portions of it are told. If there’s a reason I like this, however, it’s because the Sad tag doesn’t apply to Trixie’s death, but to her funeral. Unfortunately, after that comes your standard Trixie sob-story, though I have to admit the final line is really great. So a bit of a mixed bag, unfortunately.
Vaguely Recommended

Going Up by Rust
Genre: HiE
Cherry Berry takes an unusual customer for a ride in her hot air balloon.
This is a real odd duck. I’d say it’s HiE done right, though. “Hazard” is a strong enough character that I had to Google him to make sure he wasn’t from another franchise, and it’s slowly revealed that humans are a rare but known commodity in Equestria. The interactions between human and pony are whimsical and surprising, the prose good and Cherry’s characterization… admittedly is just sort of “Berry Punch with balloon”, but they’re written as being sisters, so it works, I guess. My only other complaint would be the awful end-of-the-story footnote, but iisaw has ruined me on footnote readability, so I can hardly blame others. This is definitely worth a quick read.

To Love Being Loved by NotARealPonydotcom
Genre: Changeling Fic
Chrysalis invites Princess Twilight Sparkle to establish friendly diplomatic relations.
The opening threw me until I realized it played off comic canon (though only the first arc, not the later one with Chrysalis). From there, this doles out some decently interesting changeling headcanon (hard to come by, these days), along with a lot of telling. Mostly, it’s an attempt to paint changelings as sympathetic, not just mindless parasites, with Chrysalis as having acted out of desperation. “Melodramatic” covers this well. I had to scratch my head at Twilight’s outburst about not being gay; it seems like there was an attempt at humor around the edges of this, but no solid commitment, so it just sort of hangs there, awkwardly, watching you eat. I wanted to like this, but it just didn’t make good use of its central idea.
Vaguely Recommended

Run by Proper Noun
Genre: Horror
”Run,” said the Cake Twins. “It’s coming.”
I’m not actually sure what I was expecting from this. It starts with what seems like a rehash of Baby Cakes that quickly turns dark. There’s some decent nightmare imagery, and then, well, everything’s revealed to have been a dream. But that’s kind of the entire point. But it leaves me feeling like Luna is stepping over a line. I get what’s happening, but it needed more comedy to be pulled off properly. I almost feel like this needs a followup fic, but I dunno.
Not Recommended

Around the Bend by Chatoyance
Genre: Adventure
An attempt to be more spontaneous leads Twilight down a street that should not exist.
Once upon a time, I had an idea like this, to reconcile what at the time felt like vast canonical inconsistencies between seasons one and two through the use of alternate realities. This starts out that way, but the idea resolves so much more cleverly than I could have anticipated. It certainly doesn’t hurt that Twilight is written excellently, neurotic and analytical to a fault. The story does drag a bit in the middle. I was slightly baffled by some of what was included (Fluttershy’s behavior in Putting Your Hoof Down, for instance, was recognized in the episode as inconsistent, and thus not worth ‘fixing’, in my estimation), and a lengthy passage of headcanon in chapter 4 ground the narrative to a halt. Granted, that’s right before a very exciting encounter. There are also some minor punctuation errors. In all, I’m glad this piece exists, and if you remember a time during season two when you saw an episode like Mysterious Mare-Do-Well and became extremely angry for some reason, this is going to be well worth the read.

And I Shall Name Them "Cuppins" by Bob from Bottles
Genre: Meta
Pinkie Pie helps the author write her story.
Here’s another one I read previously! As silly-buggery as that description sounds, there’s more to this than just silly buggers. The actual story is a pretty good comedy, with a lot of laugh-out-loud moments around the spots where Pinkie gleefully breaks the fourth wall and be’s random. Towards the end, it goes balls-to-the-wall, and never ceases to be fun and entertaining. If you’re not over and done with fourth-wall fics, give this one a shot. And even if you are, try it anyway; it may change your mind!
Highly Recommended

The Desert by paxtofettel
Genre: Stream of Consciousness
Pokey Pierce is trapped in an endless desert.
I like it when authors push themselves in new directions; this story, then, is an exercise in stream of consciousness. It’s pretty old, too, so I’m hoping the author has continued to push, because this isn’t quite there. If there’s any one thing I can point to, it’s probably the lack of poniness. Pokey swears liberally, and other than references to Pinkie (there’s background PokeyPie, fy) and Celestia, there’s not much about this that makes it strongly fit the canon. And I mean, it’s just a guy wandering around in an endless desert, cursing his fate; it’s not too interesting.
Not Recommended

You Lose Some, You Winsome by Arwhale
Genre: Slice of Life
Another ‘sisters’ campout in Winsome Falls reveals a secret.
I’ve read other stories about this topic, but I think this one treats it much better than those. The whole setup is an excuse for serious Dash/Scoot bonding, and that’s always a good thing. I can’t say I was terribly excited about this piece, but it’ll satisfy SoL fans.
Recommended for Scootalove Fans

Trick or Treat by Troll
Genre: Random Comedy
What happens when you get a trick instead?
That was silly. The main joke here isn’t the CMCs getting back at Diamond Tiara, but speaking in thesaurus abuse. Only, after their first exchange, which is normal. Overall, this didn’t feel terribly well planned, but it might be worth a laugh?
Vaguely Recommended

Troll Physics in Cheerilee’s Classroom by Queuefka Palazzo
Genre: Random Comedy
Diamond Tiara’s physics report isn’t so hot.
This is not the best story I’ve ever read, but good lord, did I laugh. Diamond Tiara’s “creatively stupid” essay is the funniest thing ever, especially when you consider why she wrote it. This is more or less a one-joke fic, but it’s a lot of fun.
Recommended for Laughs

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Comments ( 31 )
Author Interviewer

Thank you. Not like it's hard. :B Now all the people who like tracking my follower count can wail and gnash their teeth. :V

Congrats on 1000! Keep up the good work. I've read dozens of stories from your recs.

A thousand ways to die of fanfiction as presented by Perfect.

At least I made number 1000?


But it leaves me feeling like Luna is stepping over a line. I get what’s happening, but it needed more comedy to be pulled off properly. I almost feel like this needs a followup fic, but I dunno.

Not Recommended

I see what you're saying and agree on a lot of it, although I think "Luna crossed a line" is more a personal taste thing if you don't append "for apparently no reason," which you might because it's true. But in general the story did need more time. I am ever-so-slightly flattered that it was considered worth a review by a horse-prominent reviewer in the first place, though, and the specificity of what you say is wrong with it helps.

Onward to less poorly-conceived (and executed) projects!

p.s. I'm seriously bad at comedy (in my own estimation), so I'm not really sure what a version of the story with the comedy you're suggesting would achieve or look like. If you have an example off the top of your head of a similarly-themed story done "right", I'd love to see it.

p.p.s. Happy 1000th.

Author Interviewer

Like, just some sort of acknowledgement that Luna didn't trap Pinkie in an unending nightmare for no reason. A letter from Pinkie being all, "Yo, Luna, what the hell?" or Celestia coming in and asking, "You didn't accidentally trap somepony in an unending nightmare again, did you? You know your dream powers get weird when you're sick." I mean, I guess what I'm looking for is the accidental part, which didn't come across. Luna wanted to scare Pinkie, but why did she think this was the right way to do it?

Also, whoo, horse-prominent! that sounds so dirty

Huh, you're the first person I've seen who actually likes Around the Bend.

Confounding word choices are my idiosyncrasy.

But seriously, I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's one of those things I wrote when I didn't necessarily care about how well they were written. But I do appreciate the 2nd person perspective, and I think I was able to pull off keeping the reader unaware exactly of who the narrator was talking to until the very end. Anyways, thanks for the review and recommendation!

Author Interviewer

I think far too many people are hellbent on hating anything Chatoyance writes, just because she wrote it. :B

Site Blogger


Clearly, I have a long way to go.

3561381 Insert Author Here's review

I myself am on good terms with Chat and have had a few positive short interactions with her, but only because I've purposely not read any of her works.


I guess what I'm looking for is the accidental part, which didn't come across.

I see, thank you.

Also, whoo, horse-prominent! that sounds so dirty

This is actually the same thing I thought when I typed that.


Strongly seconded.

Does this mean you've leveled up?

Not sure if I've said this before, but the 'genres' you assign to fics are fantastically informative.

Author Interviewer

That's what I try for, if I can't be humorous. :B

Yay for the thousand! Shame you didn't get a better set of fics to mark the occasion, but you can't win 'em all. Up There and You Lose Some, You WInsome have gone on my RiL list. I'd add a few of the stupid comedies, but I have enough of those waiting already. :rainbowwild:

Congrats on blog M!

For the record, I genuinely enjoy Chatoyance's work. Heck, I liked the stuff she made before Friendship is Magic was even a thing. She's one of the few people I've seen who makes up new laws of physics as part of her world-building. I may not agree with her views and headcanon at times, but I can still enjoy her craft.

Yay! I was mentioned!

Author Interviewer

Thank you for writing a very entertaining fic! :)

If there's anything scanning the comments for confirmation, I second "Cuppins". Yeah, the title's a bit unwieldy, and Pinkie fourth wall stories don't have the best reputation, but trust me that it deserves the Highly Recommended it got.

Okay, I'm gonna trust you on this one. Just tell me, this isn't a glorified lecture about how Chatoyance knows these characters better than the writers do, is it? I'm not sure I'm in the mood to read one of those right now.


We've already discussed Mare-Do-Well, but what are the other horrible episodes she didn't like? Well, there's “Read It and Weep.” Because of the doctor with an x-ray Cutie Mark? No, because it made Dash like to read. I repeat, she makes a HUGE deal over how wrong it is for Dash to be reading.

Holy fucking shit, PP, how do you excuse THIS?


The ending of down by the river made it! But It was too confusing and vague in the middle so I can't disagree. Winsome was kind of boring.

Author Interviewer

I saw it as less "Rainbow Dash shouldn't be able to read" and more "Twilight is confused because she likes reading". i.e., she hadn't gone through that episode yet and was surprised by the revelation.

Down by the River was a story about Big Macintosh helping Spike get over Rarity with the express purpose of freeing her up from potential rivals so he could try courting her. It's Dick Move: The Fanfic.

And yeah, that's why I said Winsome wasn't too exciting. :B

I never thought I'd see the day. Now the day has come. Oh my.

Also, thanks for pointing out the HTML breaks. I didn't realize those were there.


Wow, two in a row that have a recommendation! Even if this one did have a caveat. :twilightsheepish: Guess that means I'm doing something right.

Thanks so much for your feedback! Glad to hear you've enjoyed my stuff so far.

Author Interviewer

I've reviewed your fics before. :V And you're welcome!

If you stuck to about 5 fics per review post like everybody else, this could be your 2000th review!

Also, it would be 2020, and I'd have a rocket pack.

Ergo, it's your fault I have no rocket pack. :trixieshiftright:

ah, Troll, I remember that guy. Good times.

good lord fuck, do I miss The Only. He was amazingly hilarious and he was one of the first people I truly loved in this fandom. He inspired me in so many ways and now he's fucking gone.

Author Interviewer

Yeah, TheOnly wrote some amazing shit.

Really? Huh. I didn't know that. Shows how in the loop I am. :rainbowlaugh:

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