Friendship is Card Games: The Hooffields and McColts · 1:26pm Nov 15th, 2015
Survey says this isn't Richard Dawson's sort of family feud. Yellowquiet and Purplesmart have their work cut out for them.
Wuthering Heights is pony canon now, presumably written by Emily Bronco. Also, quite a few of Fluttershy’s animals are literate, once again raising uncomfortable questions about how they live like… well, animals.
Huh. Premature mark launch. Haven’t seen that before. Maybe there’s a certain distance from the castle where ponies’ cutie marks guide them to the map?
Twilight’s still hung up on her title? Sheesh. You’d have thought that last episode would’ve gotten her to get off her royally high horse.
I’m not sure if Twilight’s ability to effortlessly handle her overloaded saddlebags is a sign of earth pony strength or just years of practice hauling around way too many books.
You know, after Griffonstone, Yakyakistan, and now this valley, Twilight really needs to update her knowledge base. Fact-finding missions to remote areas with no recent data would be a very good idea.
Wow. How oblivious do you have to be to not notice that the pumpkin you’re loading is both much lighter than normal and carved into a little house?
Interesting. Even ponies in the back end of nowhere know there’s a third princess. Just how old is Cadence?
Also, the fact that Twilight is an alicorn seems to amaze about one in every hundred or so ponies.
Huh. Earth ponies who can’t farm. That’s certainly interesting. I’m going to need to think this over.
Sheesh, Twilight. Just because a given solution didn’t work in this one instance doesn’t mean you should tear out the page and dematerialize it!
And thus Twilight discovers that all sides have to agree to be rational for a rational solution to work. Otherwise, they’ll happily misinterpret a cry for peace as a call for tomatoes.
The McColts’ food supply comes from imports and expended Hooffield ammunition, yet they have plenty of hay to launch at their neighbors.
Obvious trap cake is obviously a trap.
After that Bubba Gump rundown of pumpkin recipes, the McColts really don’t have the supplies needed for pumpkin cake?
Silly Twilight. You only froze five ponies in “Castle Mane-ia.” Which means immobilizing this army is actually about seventeen percent harder than she’s claiming.
EDIT: Actually, as a few people have noted in the comments, Pinkie wasn't present. Twilight only froze four ponies back then.
Some people may complain that this generations-old feud was resolved far too quickly, and for a silly reason. I would like to note that the increasingly impatient alicorn who demonstrated the power and control necessary to immobilize both clans probably had something to do with the swift resolution. Indeed, it seems that while the map sent Fluttershy to get the full story, it sent Twilight as the only force capable of getting the Hooffields and McColts to actually listen to it. Harmony isn’t always nice.
Ponies know of quantum physics, and I am entirely okay with that.
In all, I really liked this episode. It wasn’t just another feud plot, it demonstrated the cost of war on both the environment and the well-being of the combatants. It showed the senselessness into which most conflicts degenerate. This is pretty much the closest My Little Pony can get to “War is hell,” and I think it handled it quite well.
Now, I done brought some ideas to fire into the next mountain over. That’ll learn ‘em:
Immobilization Field WW
Enchantment
Flash
Immobilization Field costs 1 more to cast for each attacking creature.
When Immobilization Field enters the battlefield, exile all attacking creatures until Immobilization Field leaves the battlefield.
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Immobilization Field unless you pay (2w) for each card exiled with it.
Shield Ceiling 1W
Instant
If a source would deal damage to a creature you control this turn, it deals that damage divided as you choose among any number of creatures you control instead.
Family ties and sturdy doors can weather any storm.
McColt Powerhouse 3W
Creature — Pony Warrior
Metalcraft — Whenever damage would be dealt to McColt Powerhouse, if you control three or more artifacts, prevent that damage.
Indifference is a privilege of those strong enough to ignore their opponents.
3/3
Book Club 1U
Sorcery
Each player scries 2. You draw two cards, then each other player draws a card.
”Next week is The Breezie Queen.”
—Fluttershy, Bearer of Kindness
Process of Elimination 2U
Enchantment
U: Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card in your graveyard.
”Well, that’s clearly not going to work.”
—Princess Twilight Sparkle
Booming Reverb 3U
Instant
Each player other than target instant or sorcery spell’s controller copies that spell. Each of those players may choose new targets for his or her copy.
Echoes can come back with all kinds of odd distortions.
Edge of Famine 2B
Enchantment
At the beginning of each opponent’s end step, if a land didn’t enter the battlefield under that player’s control this turn, that player loses 1 life.
Neither side acknowledged it, but both knew that the valley’s soil would be the first true casualty of the feud.
Senseless Violence 1RR
Instant
If a source would deal damage to a permanent or player this turn, it deals double that damage to that permanent or player instead.
The moment the two families were within striking distance, the outcome was inevitable.
Hooffield Tomateer 2R
Creature — Pony Warrior
R, T: Hooffield Tomateer deals 1 damage to target creature.
Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, untap Hooffield Tomateer.
Lycopene is good for you, but not at high speed.
1/1
McColt Haybaler 2R
Creature — Pony Rigger
Assemble 1R (1R: Put a colorless Contraption artifact token onto the battlefield. Assemble only as a sorcery.)
Contraptions you control have “Sacrifice this artifact: This artifact deals 1 damage to target creature.”
”We could eat it, but I’d rather them Hooffields choke on it.”
1/1
Precise Pebble 2R
Instant
Precise Pebble deals 1 damage to target creature. When that creature dies this turn, its controller sacrifices a land.
”And I thought our barn’s been through a lot.”
—Applejack, Bearer of Honesty
Eternal Resentment 3R
Enchantment
At the beginning of each player’s end step, target creature that player controls of his or her choice fights target creature that player doesn’t control of his or her choice.
The cause of the quarrel was long forgotten. The feud went on because it had always gone on.
Hooffield Entrencher 3R
Creature — Pony Warrior
Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, Hooffield Entrencher gains double strike until end of turn.
Shovels, like earth ponies, seem humble but have a myriad of frightening uses.
2/2
Valley Siege 3R
Enchantment
As Valley Siege enters the battlefield, choose Hooffields or McColts.
• Hooffields — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, Valley Siege deals 1 damage to target player.
• McColts — Whenever an artifact enters the battlefield under your control, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
McColt Twins 3RR
Creature — Pony Rigger
Assemble 2R
Contraptions you control have “Sacrifice this artifact: Put a token that’s a copy of target creature you control onto the battlefield. It has haste. Exile that token at the beginning of the next end step.”
3/3
Scavenger Squirrel G
Creature — Squirrel
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player puts a card from his or her graveyard on the bottom of his or her library.
The two families used every available resource in the valley. The animal population had to make due with their leavings.
1/1
Curse of Insularity 2G
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
Enchanted player can't control permanents he or she doesn't own.
”You ain’t a spy, are you, Your Highness?”
Pumpkin Bombardment 4GGG
Sorcery
Choose one or more —
• Destroy target artifact.
• Destroy target creature with flying.
• Destroy target enchantment.
• Destroy target land.
Hooffield Ambushers XG
Creature — Pony Warrior
Flash
Hooffield Ambushers enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it.
”Surprise, lumber buckers!”
0/0
Smokey Valley Memorial 2
Artifact
You may play an additional land on each of your turns.
Half grown, half sculpted, it commemorates the newfound unity of the two clans.
McColt Fortress 4
Artifact Creature — Wall
Defender
McColt Fortress can block any number of creatures.
1: McColt Fortress gets +0/+1 until end of turn.
Built to withstand every kind of produce imaginable.
0/4
Solution Portfolio 5
Artifact
5, T: Search your library for a card, then shuffle your library and put that card on top of it.
"I've been through more friendship problems than I care to count. I'm sure I can solve yours."
—Princess Twilight Sparkle
Ma Hooffield 2RG
Legendary Creature — Pony Warrior
At the beginning of your upkeep, return target land card from your graveyard to your hand.
X, Sacrifice a land: Ma Hooffield deals X damage to target creature. X is the number of lands you control as you activate this ability.
2/2
Big Daddy McColt 2RW
Legendary Creature — Pony Rigger
Assemble costs you pay cost 1 less.
Metalcraft — W: Target creature gains indestructible until end of turn. Activate this ability only if you control three or more artifacts.
2/2
Delta Formation 3RW
Instant
Creatures you control get +3/+3 until end of turn.
”Fighting a battle’s like building a house. You’ve got to make a plan and you’ve got to stick to it.”
—Big Daddy McColt
Natural History 3(gu)(gu)
Sorcery
Draw a card for each creature target player controls.
Unburdened by prejudice, the animals remembered what the two clans had long forgotten.
Harvest Launch X1RG
Sorcery
Harvest Launch deals X damage to each creature you don’t control.
The Hooffields refined the earth pony ability to weaponize food into an art form.
tl;dr
art form is all i read
3543788
Then why did you even bother leaving a comment?
3543793
It is very important that you know his feelings, apparently.
The episode had its moments, and wasn't bad in general, but was nothing special either. It's kind of a shame, but that's been my impression of all the map episodes
you'd think they'd try to make the overarching story episodes a bit more special.
I was wondering whether Twilight would get a non-finale map episode. I'm glad she did.
I like that observation on why the map sent the two of them specifically.
As for the animals, I tend to think that being around pony caretakers as involved as Fluttershy uplifts them as a form of passive magic. If something were to happen to her, they would gradually revert back to wilder ways.
This episode didn't do much for me. Maybe it's because I've watched too many "feuding families" stories, but "Hooffields and McColts" didn't really do anything new with the concept, and I saw the end coming a mile away. But I guess if kids who didn't know anything about the Hatfields and McCoys watched this episode and got something from it, than I'm glad the MLP team made it.
As someone who puts a lot of thought into the three tribes' magic and earth pony magic in particular, that boggled my mind. They're lumberjacks, so do they help their trees grow? If they can grow lumber, why can't they grow trees that bear edible crops? If they can't grow trees at all and they channel all their earth pony abilities into cutting lumber and building, those have better be some seriously impressive tree-cutting and carpentry skills. Clearly, I've put way more thought into this than the episode writer.
3543793
A.)
because my comment was a representation of the writing for this ep.<-excuseB.) im having a crapposty day. somebody stop me.
I liked that part. Twilight's proposed solutions were, overall, quite good ones, including the whole "Find the root cause of the feud, then work on that" thing. However, Twi didn't have the means to do that alone, because the two families had forgotten the root cause themselves. It took Fluttershy to find it, and present the eloquent plea for peace -- just as it took Twilight with enough authority to make the families listen, and enough magical power to make them listen when things started getting out of hand, There's definitely a reason why the map sent two ponies to this job: because either one, on their own, couldn't have done it.
This further reinforces my fanon that the reason they all understand one another ahd live in peace together is that a small Changeling Hive Mind has coalesced around Fluttershy and her animal friends.
FLUTTERSHY: It's okay, dear ... we can try again later.
As someone who is fairly strong, and does exactly what Twilight does in terms of overloading my bag with books, I would have to say "Both."
Here's my guess ... the Hooffields and McColts aren't perfectly self-sufficient. They have to make expeditions into the nearby town(s) to trade at regular intervals -- once every few months to years, depending on what goods are involved. Occasionally, one of them will pick up magazines or newspapers or almanacs or whatever, or talk to somepony, and that's how they learn what's going on in the outside world.
We know that Cadance has been an Alicorn longer than Twilight has had her Cutie Mark. So that means, longer than 12-15 years, going on the basis of short to long chronologies. Cadance is something like a decade older than Twilight -- she's about 30 or 30-something while Twilight is about 20 or 20-something. Maybe the families haven't picked up any new reading material from town for 1-2 years (so they don't know about Twilight's Coronation).
The two families are descended from two individuals (or patriarchs each of whom already had a family, for reasons I'm bout to go into) each of whom had a signature talent. Grub Hooffield was a gifted farmer; Piles McColt a gifted engineer. Now, in the non-squicky version of this, each had a wife and some children (not shown in the flashback) who had spouses of their own, and they all had tended to marry Ponies with similar talents. In consequence, their children down to the current lot tended to have similar talents.
Why do I say "non-squicky?" Well, consider this. They live in a very isolated area. They're paranoid toward outsiders (and Hooffields, obviously, do not marry McColts). And they all look a lot alike. Non-squicky version is that they by necessity marry first cousins, which probably happens a lot among very rustic Earth Ponies. Squicky version is that they engage in primary incest: brother-sister and parent-child.
Lack of outside genetic stock means that there is no way save atavism for a previously unpossessed Talent to come into their community. Plus, who's going to teach a Hooffield to build things or a McColt who to farm? Other rural families living in the area (and by "in the area" I mean a dozen or more miles away) probably regard both families as violent paranoid degenerates who it is best to avoid, and members of whom one would certainly not want to romantically court or even attempt to befriend.
Twilight is getting increasingly frustrated as the story goes on.
Well, hay is just dried grass. I'm guessing that not even the McColts are such inept farmers that they can't make grass grow, and we know they know how to build structures, such as drying sheds. The McColts may spend a lot of their time and effort foraging in the woods on the far side of their own hill for food, which is why they're not literally starving to death. Most of what they would find would not be tasty, though.
Silly
Or four. Obviously, she didn't freeze herself or Spike, but did she also freeze Pinkie Pie? Wasn't Pinkie still back in the room with the pneumatic organ / trap controller?
Psychologically, apologizing to the animals and at the command of somepony both in higher authority and more magically-powerful than them is a lot easier than apologizing to the enemy. Once the dam broke, both sides were grateful to have a reason to stop fighting while keeping their honor. It's believable, especially giving that the Ponies are less combative than Humans to begin with.
Mind you, this wouldn't have worked on Human Middle Easterners.
Someone mentioned that six could be the five + Spike, so I went to check. Turns out she immobilized only four ponies then!
3543803
I suspect my habit of watching the show through card-shaped lenses skews my opinion to a fair degree. For example, I like "It Ain't Easy Being Breezies" a lot more than most people because it confirmed a wider pony multivrse. (At least, that's how I choose to interpret it.) In this case, the conflict was much easier to translate into card design than last week's awkwardness, which cast this episode in a more positive light for me. And the TV losing the feed for several minutes made me appreciate just getting to see the episode at all, so there's also that.
Plus, you know, Fan of Most Everything. Not exactly the highest standards in the world.
3543832
That's actually still pretty disturbing. It edges into "Flowers for Algernon" territory.
3543833
A lot of people don't give much thought to earth pony magic. Sadly, some of them write for the show.
3543912
That's a very good explanation for why they've heard of Cadence. Indeed, Big Daddy McColt explicitly says his family has to travel to buy food. Getting news at the same time only makes sense. Your comments on the use of hay as a projectile and the psychology of apologizing to the animals are equally insightful, and I've revised the review to account for Pinkie's absence during "Castle Mane-ia."
I'm less sure about the idea of special talents purely being a matter of the gene pool. There does seem to be a genetic element at work, as clans like the Apple family indicate. However, that may be more of a cultural matter than a biological one, defining the family through a sort of built-in heraldry, as with the apple in Apple Bloom's cutie mark. Indeed, look at Rarity's family, where a hoofball player and a baker begat a fashionista and a singer/life coach. Looser family ties, less iconic association.
By that token, it's possible that the Hooffields and McCoys came to define themselves as much by their respective areas of expertise as by their enemies. Foals grew up exposed to all matters agricultural or architectural, resulting in a heavy cultural pressure to become farmers or builders. They two clans may have even lost a few members who felt alienated because their true passions didn't line up with the feud's dichotomous narrative. A similar effect may have influenced Diamond Tiara, her mother's heavy expectations molding her cutie mark into a literal status symbol whose deeper meaning eluded her for years.
Basically, there may be some nurture along with the nature.
3544061
What do they care, they're just dumb animals. :V
I mean, either that or the effect is permanent, and after Fluttershy's gone, there'll be an uplifted society of animals in Ponyville.
You'll notice that the map sends them in pairs: Rainbow Dash and Pinkie, Applejack and Rarity and now Fluttershy and Twilight. One provides the physical force while the other gets to the bottom of the problem. Heh. It's like watching Briscoe and Logan go at it.
I never really understood the fascination people have with those rivaling backwoods hillbilly swampsucking drunkard soldiers.
I appreciate the background ponies...but the episode kind of killed my mood. Twilight being an idiot in the first 5 minutes mostly. I do appreciate how they made Fluttershy move, though. A lot of that movement was very...characteristic? eh, interesting.
Of course, I suppose the dramas might have been a feature, but the story of the Hatfield's and McCoy's never interested me.
I'm not sure how I feel about Immobilization Field. On the one hand it's very flavorful for what you want it to be, but on the other it's a really crap card because of the 'all or nothing' nature of it.
If it costed "XWW" and the ability was "Immobilization Field enters the battlefield with X isolation counters on it. When Immobilization Field enters the battlefield, for each isolation counter on it, exile up to one target target attacking creature an opponent controls until Quarantine Field leaves the battlefield." instead of exiling all the attacking creatures it'd be a better card and still be rather balanced.
I think the (2W * (exiled cards)) upkeep is a but much as well, considering none of the other 'banishment' type cards have an upkeep, but, again, part of the flavor. Maybe just a W for each?
Not even my inner Vorthos can agree with this card because, while flavorful, it's just too under-powered to be memorable on flavor alone.
When I first read the name Book Club I though of a club made from a book and that it would be some kind of damaging ability. Then I remembered that I was in the blue section of the card list and read what it did... .
Some sort of Red-Blue card? Or maybe an equipment that scrys and slash or draws on hit?
You missed a prime opportunity to make Hooffield Ambushers a Pony Ninja Warrior.
3544519 About Immobilization Field's upkeep: I'm not certain (having never held an MtG card in my life), but I thiiiink that that (2w) is a dual mana symbol: "your pick of 2 or W".
3544093
I wonder how Twilight feels about being the muscle.
3544519
Immobilization Field: As 3544677 noted, (2w) is meant to indicate one third of Spectral Procession's mana cost.
Book Club: You may be interested in the Sledgehammer of Inquiry.
Hooffield Ambushers: Sadly, Ninja come with mechanical baggage.
3544742 Well, whatever she feels, she'd better get used to it. After all, she's the only one powerful enough to dominate Starlight. Heh. Given the Red and Blue color scheme we've been dealing with, I almost expect to hear a disembodied voice say "VICTORY!" when she does it.
3544677
3544742
I forgot that was how FanOfMostEverything does his hybrid.
The official manner (which I keeping telling him but he never listens </fanrage>) to do hybrid mana symbols in plain text is either "2/C" or "C/D" so I read it as 2W, not 2/W.
But yeah, two or one W is a good upkeep cost.
Wait... Hooffields and McColts... That's a reference to Hatfield and McCoy, isn't it? I am tired.
For some reason, I find it amusing that Book Club could also be written as "Each player scries 2 then draws a card. Draw a card."
I keep wanting to read tomateer as "tomaterer" and I have no idea why.
I saw Pumpkin Bombardment's third mode and thought, "Red can't do that," and then I remembered it was green. I am tired.
I saw Ma Hooffield, remembered that I wanted some way to turn Elementals into lands and vice versa for Omnath, and came up with this:
Hybridization 4U
Enchantment
As Hybridization enters the battlefield, choose two creature types.
Creatures you control of either of the chosen types are the chosen types in addition to their other types.
My mind is a strange place. I am tired.
3544807
I actually like "tomaterer." "Ah got me some tomaters. Ah'm a tomaterer."
As for Ma Hooffield, she and Omnath work together beautifully with awaken. Or, if you want to be really odd, Life and Limb with Conspiracy or Xenograft. Heck, even Zendikar's Roil will provide a steady stream of Elementals, though Ma can't launch them.
3544061
3544075
Have either of you read Baal Bunny's Maybe Tomorrow? Because it is highly relevant.
I know that this is a few years late, but why exactly is Harvest Launch green? The effect seems purely red to me.
4957947
It's a Savage Twister that doesn't perform friendly fire. (As for why Savage Twister is red-green, think of it as Earthquake + Hurricane.)