The Spoiled Rich Roast · 2:51am Nov 11th, 2015
The only stallion that was ever happy to meet Spoiled Rich was her plastic surgeon. If he charged per square inch, he’d be a millionaire.
That mare needs a nose job so desperately that she’s applied for nose welfare.
Her nose is so pointy that when she looks down, I half expect tea to come pouring out of her nostrils.
And she’s got a one-of-an-unkind personality! Speaking with her makes a stallion wonder where he sees himself in five miles.
If she donated her heart to science, the only branch of science it could benefit is microsurgery. She’s so cold that cockatrices are trying to figure out a way to turn their victims into Spoiled Rich.
She’s a really dedicated mother. She’s dedicated to being a lousy mother but at least she’s dedicated to it. I hear that on Mother’s Day, Diamond Tiara sends her a sympathy card.
And what a catch of a wife she is! When she asked her husband where he wanted to spend their honeymoon, he said "Cloudsdale."
It’s true that money can’t buy you love. In Spoiled and Filthy Rich’s case, that was stamped on their marriage license. You can always find Filthy Rich in a crowd. He’s the stallion pointing a crossbow at his own temple.
Even after ten years of marriage, Filthy assures me that he still has a great sex life. I just hope that Spoiled never finds out. Ah, what am I worried about? She’s so dumb she thinks a muffin top is a blouse designed by Derpy Hooves.
And speaking of Derpy, she recently bumped into Filthy Rich the other day. Yeah; she saw his wedding band and said "I know just what went wrong."
We all do, Derpy. We all do.
Spoiled Rich? More like Spoiled Bitch! Am I right?
A fate worse than Death