Season 5 Episode 14-18 Review: Flipping My S#%^!

Warning: excessive use of swearing and foul language beyond this point

Viewer discretion is advised

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I… I fucked up…

To explain, this past week I have been preoccupied with other things in life outside of writing the next chapter. As such, I barely have anything in the makings beyond finishing writing the outline for the next chapter. So like any other person when the weekend arrives, I decided to take some time off and relax a little bit; try to read some stories that I have been meaning to read, play some video games, race cars and (hopefully soon) motorcycles, and possibly relax with some new episodes of our show.

Now I have been stock piling the newer episodes for a time where I didn’t have anything to do and be alone for the majority of the time I was watching. So Sunday afternoon I said to myself, “How about I rewatch all the Equestria girls’ movies then watch the newest episodes that I haven’t seen yet?”

I was able to find a copy of the Friendship Games movie to watch, but that will be a separate review.

Anyways, the last episode I had seen was episode 13 (which was a lovely episode with my favorite princess); and after coming off of a high note like that, I felt ready to tackle the next couple of episodes. However, it has been a long time since I delved into the series and have mostly forgotten how cringe worthy the bullshit shenanigans are. I have grown too comfortable with the more realistic and believable reactions and outcomes from the stories here on the site.

So this is where my fuck up comes into play. I tried watching too much bullshit at one time. I had forgotten how deep our section of shenanigan shit creek was and jumped feet first without looking.

Let’s break this down by episode and see just how much I flipped my shit…

Episode 14: Canterlot Boutique

So, this was a surprise to me when I found out that Rarity was looking to open a new shop in Canterlot. Most of me wants to say ‘Good job Rarity for continuously trying to expand and grow’, but a small part of me was a little nervous at the change. But change is a good thing and we can’t expect the show to remain interesting and fun without it taking risks and trying new things. So I’m glad that Rarity got the opportunity.

When Sassy Saddles stepped into the spot light, I was first impressed by her resourcefulness and planning. She had thought out every angle at making Rarity’s new shop a success and had executed it flawlessly. She is truly a shrewd business owner.

But when she started taking the spot light from Rarity, changing plans without her permission, and forcing her to become somewhat of a sweatshop worker, she was quickly falling out of grace with me. I’m disappointed that this kind of thing would happen, but there is a kernel of truth in the matter. This kind of thing happens in the real world, and a lot of the times almost nobody catches it happening. It’s a cruel and harsh truth; but just like in ‘Tanks for The Memories’ the writers and developers handled it expertly and displayed it in a toned down version that still held the message clearly.

I’m am also happy that Rarity stood up for herself and decided to take back over the shop and start doing things her way. And as you should know, I am all for doing things that are little bit different and willing to experiment with new approaches.

The only thing that really set me off with shenanigans was the appearance of the ponified version of Raven from the teen titans; and not that dumbed down kiddy bullshit with ‘Teen Titans GO’, no I’m talking about the O.G. Teen Titans that was good and geared towards actual teens. Yeah, the good shit!

You all know who I’m talking about! That one pony near the end with that dead, emotionless, raspy voice of Tara strong wanting that dress that ‘spoke’ to her and was pretty much a black nebulae on a dress. I don’t care what you think, I am now dubbing that pony as the pony version of ‘Raven’! God, damnit Tara strong, you wonderful, beautiful voice actress and bringing back the good old days!

So other than that little spike on the flip-o-shit meter (yes, I am going to make that a thing right now), I quite enjoyed that episode.

Episode 15: Rarity Investigates!

This was a fun episode! We at last get to see some more direct screen time with the Wonderbolts like Spitfire and Soarin. And it’s great to see that they finally used the idea of the Wonderbolts reserve as an underlying drive behind the episode.

Then with the whole mystery of Spitfire taking off and Rainbow possibly being the one to blame, it was fantastic to see Rarity go into full-on 1940’s/1950’s black and white monologuing detective mode. On a side note, I think this is one of the first episodes with Rarity and Rainbow Dash being paired up, but I digress.

I was flipping my shit (in a good way) over how they pulled out the classics with the good cop/bad cop and the detective with the impatient side-kick tagging along. I really enjoyed that. However, some of the clues seemed too obvious to me; like how Rarity began sniffing the envelope in the hotel room or how the curtain in the hall way was undone compared to the rest. I was already wanting to ask Rarity what she was doing and what did she find. But alas, cartoon characters can't hear you through a computer screen; whatever.

But when we got to the end with revealing who the culprit was, I was guessing it was some outside force wanting to sabotage the performance or it was Spitfire herself saying ‘Fffuck seeing mom again!’ and ducked out. It was a shame to find out it was the Wind Rider being a selfish asshole and wanting to protect his world record from any adversaries that might threaten it.

Did I mention that my flip-o-shit meter is very delicate and requires time to repair?

Anyways, it was a good overall episode. Although, I feel close to this point my flip-o-shit meter was starting to get strained and needed a rest. But like that was going to stop me from watching more.

Episode 16: Made in Manehattan

This was an alright episode. It was another Rarity and Applejack pairing episode, but this time in Manehattan. It was neat finding out that they were going to explore a different part of Manehattan and possibly flesh it out more. I did chuckle a bit at Twilight’s conundrum of running out of things to read in her library. With the amount of time she has spent in Ponyville, it was only a matter of time before she read everything in her library. I wonder how she would react with reading some books from our world? I wonder how she would react reading one of our adult romance novels?

Back to the episode, not much I can comment on the events about. Rarity was being Rarity and Applejack was being Applejack; like trying to restore an entire park in about a day or less. It made me want to ask if she wanted any help, despite my distaste for gardening.

But it was nice to see that even in a bustling city like Manehattan, they could still slow down enough to enjoy the little things like a community.

This episode didn’t really ease my flip-o-shit meter as it did keep it from really going any higher. But I should have stopped at this point because I was already starting to openly swear at the bullshit shenanigans and it was starting to get loud enough to attract attention. But hindsight is 20/20 as I still kept pressing on.

Episode 17: Brotherhooves Social

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I should have prepared my anus for this one…..

The Sisterhooves Social. Oh, how we have such an, interesting, reputation with you. First its Rarity biting the bullet and taking a dip in the mud pit; now, it’s Big Mac of all people.

Seeing how Apple Bloom was praising Applejack nonstop in front of Big Mac, I can understand his feelings of insecurity and worthwhile. Even if it’s only a little bit of praise, we all want to be recognized for something that we do. So seeing his attempt to get Apple Bloom’s attention with an old toy was slightly sad to me.

However, when he found out that Applejack wasn’t going to make it in time for the social, he got that crazy glint in his eye that made want to say, “Dude, I don’t know what you are planning, but please tell me you won’t do it”.

I had seen the pictures and read some of the titles on the site when this episode was big and still sweeping the fandom, but I was still kind of holding out that it wasn’t as bad as it could be. I was dead, fucking, wrong.

Seeing Apple Bloom cringe so badly that she looked like she wanted to attempt suicide first before doing this, I knew things were fucked up. And then the big reveal of Ms, ahem, Orchard Blossom. Oh god, oh my fucking god, sweet Jesus mother of fucking god, this was bad. Not only was he dressed up in the most obvious cross dressing outfit, he was talking; Big Mac was talking in fancy, high class, style speak.

So, not only am I losing my shit over the reality of this happening, we have one of the quietest characters in the lineup talking as much as Apple Bloom on a normal day. And it only got worse…

Sweetie belle picked out the disguise in a few seconds, which means, you know it’s a terrible disguise when a kid can tell who you are without even trying. Then Rainbow Dash comes in on this; hoh fuck. The flattery coming from Big Mac-, sorry, Orchard Blossom, was sickening; and yet, everyone was buying it and were okay with everything. I’ll let the slightly sexist comment from Rainbow Dash about going easy on him because he is a stallion slide for now. That is a separate conversation.

And then there was that scene at the sign up table… and that one creepy old guy going head over heels for Orchard Blossom….. Yeah, enough said.

The first event with the two of them singing, I will admit, was nice. Despite the awkwardness, it was sweet to see Apple Bloom warming up to Big Mac being there; until the ending of the song… commence face palm of shame…

The final bit with the obstacle course was a mess. I’m not saying that the writers did terribly, more like they were spot on with making everything fall apart on Big Mac; that, or they just reused the same outcome with Trouble Shoes. So when everything finally comes off and the ‘Big’ reveal of it being Big Mac the entire time, there was not enough shit to be flipped. Of course, I found even more shit to be flipped doubly hard when the organizers came out and said they knew all along that it was Big Mac the entire time, making the disguise not only pointless, but degrading.

But the moment at the very end where Apple Bloom talks with Big Mac (who is still talking with whole sentences?!?) was sweet to see. I can understand wanting to be valued and still be seen as an important person in someone’s life. I am happy that Apple Bloom did the mature thing and accepted Big Mac’s confession with grace and showed him the love that he deserved.

I’m really happy that the developers have finally done an episode that included brothers into the mix of family instead of being spot holder to fill out the roster. But this episode was nothing compared to the next one….

Episode 18: Crusaders of The Lost Mark

So by this point, my flip-o-shit meter has already reached its limit and could burst at any moment. I am openly swearing loudly and the people around me are starting to get annoyed. But I was hoping that the next episode would hold less bullshit than the last. Well fuck me sideways and roast me over a fire, that wasn’t going to happen!

So the school is holding elections for class president and Pip is going for the position. Okay, I can roll with that; every school has a student governing body but whether or not they ever get things done is debatable.

And Pip’s running against Diamond Tiara, the school bully and rich bitch. What could possibly go wrong?

Well for starters, the episode begins with a musical note right off the starting line. Okay, a little strange they are doing this but it sounds catchy enough. Too bad the song wasn’t all that long. And then we have another one with the elections, with Diamond Tiara singing no less. Okay, something is going on right now and I can feel it. I can think of one episode in particular where it was almost nothing but songs and that was one hell of a surprise at the end of that episode.

So Diamond Tiara loses the election to Pip and she is throwing a temper tantrum about it. Suck it up kid, life’s a bitch. But then we get thrown into another song with her singing! So now I am thinking that this may be like a test run for the new singer for Diamond Tiara, like they just hired her and are testing to see how well she can perform.

So after the song, we finally meet her mom; this woman I wanted to slap. One, she is a bitch, two, she is a really big bitch, three, she is flaunting her fortune around more than a five year old girly brat who just got her pink, frilly dress with fake jewels in it. These are the kind of people I wish doom upon because they feel the need to show off everything they have and they are everywhere; in music (rap, which I hate), in the news (celebrities), on the roads (the ricers, those fucking lifted trucks that I find useless, or those huge SUV’s with a woman driver wearing designer shades that cover up a quarter of her face), and everywhere in between. Fuck those people; I don’t care what you have or how much you spent on it, it’s not mine so I can't compare, and I can find much better things to do with that kind of money.

Anyways, I am starting to feel a little bit remorseful for Diamond Tiara now that we’ve seen her mom, and it was nice that the CMC invited her to their club house. A little discussion of how the three of them are lucky that they haven’t found their cutie mark (which felt a little strange) and now Pip comes screaming again saying they don’t have any money to fix their playground.

And then we go into another song!! Holy shit, we have more songs in this episode then Twilight did! Now the CMC are trying to convince Diamond Tiara to do the right thing and help the school instead of take over the position of president again for her own selfish needs.

Mom comes back to be a bitch and hate on everyone at the school and finally Diamond Tiara tells her mom to fuck off. She convinces her mom and dad to donate the money to the school to fix the playground. And then we go into another song!!!!! What the fuck!?!?!!!

Suddenly Diamond Tiara is this sweet little girl handing out compliments like candy. Here, I am losing my shit and it is flying out my ass at double the rate. I don’t like it when characters make a sudden 180 flip in attitude in less than two seconds. It’s unrealistic and would never happen. This kind of change takes time and since Diamond Tiara already has the long history of being a little shit, you can't expect us to like her less than ten minutes after revealing her mom and making a few songs. There is too much history to back pedal over before we can begin to like her.

But that’s not the biggest shit flipping moment!!

So the playground gets rebuilt and the CMC are having a heart-filled discussion with each other and decide that they don’t care what their cutie marks will be and are okay if they remain blank for the rest of their lives.

Suddenly!! They do a group high-five and this sparks magic to do some crazy-ass shit to them lifting them into the air and blind everyone around them, including me. They wake up and are like, ‘What’s up? Is something wrong with me?’ and everyone else is like, “YES!!! SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG!!!!”

TA-DAAAA!!! *INSERT VIGOROUS JAZZ HANDS HERE* THEY NOW HAVE THEIR CUTIE MARKS!!!!!

My flip-o-shit meter is now broken. It exploded in a shower of deadly shards and dark brown shit everywhere; it is on the walls, the ceiling, I’m going to need a shower lasting two days straight to get the smell out of my nose and a new laptop because it is across the room being flipped so hard that the centripetal force has ripped it apart into millions of pieces.

This is too much at once. The reveal of Diamond Tiara’s mom, the numerous songs, and now the CMC getting their cutie marks is an overload for me. This could have been a two-parter easily and probably would have given more time to allow us to absorb everything that we just witnessed. Maybe not one episode right after the other, but they could have easily come back to it at a later time once we absorbed everything that had happened.

Besides the obvious outrage of surprise, we can all say goodbye to our theories on each of them getting their own unique marks! That’s one idea everyone can throw out the window in a flaming ball of paper.

So, I’m in my bed and have openly flipped my shit. I had slammed my laptop closed and had to go out to take a walk before I could come back in and go to bed. I had no idea what to think about it. It’s heartwarming that each of them now have a cutie mark and it looks like they are meant to be together as a team. But its saddening to think that they will only be recognized as part of a whole instead of being unique individuals with their own unique, different marks that come together often to help each other and solve problems. I was kind of fond of the idea that each would get their own unique marks in whatever they were good at individually, but still be able to bond together to wait and help while they each got their own marks in their own episodes instead of all of them at once together.

So now, I need to clean up my mess, fix my flip-o-shit meter, get a new laptop and go on a very long soul searching walk to contemplate my existence and my standings on this new revelation that I have witnessed. I can only guess what the future episodes will hold.

I pray to god that it will only go up from here.

I will see you all in the next chapter.