Trick 'r Treat (2007) · 6:28pm Oct 8th, 2015
Something bothers me about Nightmare Night. No, I'm not talking about when you get twenty frat guys to drink tequila and have them follow it with a milk chaser (you may be mopping for hours). I'm talking about the holiday that is the Equestrian version of Halloween. Something about this holiday bothers me and in fact still bothers me and I think I've figured it out. In fact it has everything to do with Princess Luna.
Now I know a lot of folks really like Luna. Heck, she's got a neat design with the astral mane and brief period of being awkward, but this holiday is without question the biggest candy grab since I jumped out of the bushes that one year and scared an army of elementary school students. Suffice it to say those peanut buttercups were good.
But, seriously the kids have to give a portion of the candy they've collected to Princess Luna or she'll gobble them up. Isn't that like a candy tax? I mean we don't really see a whole lot of the governmental system in the show so I think that maybe that's a candy tax. You bribe Luna with sweets she keeps the nightmares away and doesn't commit cannibalism in the process. It's kind of twisted. It's almost like she's saying, "Thy Snickers or thine posterior!"
Speaking of posteriors why is it that Princess Celestia is the one that is depicted as having the giant butt? I mean she went to eat one piece of cake and licked her lips at the sight of the giant amalgamation Pinkie Pie made for the cake festival but, that's it. Let's assume that Equestria has a number of cities and a number of independent states (fifty apparently to be exact). Now, if in everyone of those cities the children are making their offering of candy to Luna, how much candy is this? It's gotta be more calories than a piece of cake! Something tells me that if Luna is eating all of this candy her butt would block out the sun. Maybe that's why the episode is called Luna Eclipsed.
Anyway, it's getting to that time of the year again when people wear crazy costumes, hold parties and the kids go door to door with rotten eggs. No I'm not talking about Comic Con, I mean Halloween. So in the spirit of that upcoming holiday I present Trick 'r Treat a 2007 horror anthology film that has pretty much everything in it. Do you want a serial killer? It's got it. Do you want some werewolves? Bingo. How about a pack of psycho zombies? We've got eight. The actual spirit of Halloween? Yeah ol' Sam shows up.
It's a movie that blends each of its stories together and unlike most anthology films they all take place in the same town on the same night. It's sort of a shame that the movie didn't get more attention when it came out. As an added bonus for people who may want to see one of the voice actresses of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic in action, Britt McKillip (the voice of Princess Cadence) has a role in it and honestly does a good job with her character. Check it out.
The Stats:
27 Dead Bodies, 4 Breasts, 1 Dead Bird, 1 Dead Dog, 8 Psycho Zombie Kids, Neck Biting, Shovel Smashing, Skin Ripping, Death by Lollipop, Death by Chocolate, Box Cutter Fu, Glass Fu, Jack O' Lantern Fu, Shotgun Fu
Special Shoutouts:
Dylan Baker as Vice Principal Steven Wilkins for saying, "Always check your candy."
Anna Paquin of True Blood and The Piano fame as Laurie a virginal young woman who, "...want(s) my first time to be special."
Brian Cox as Old Man Kreeg who has an NRA membership and a shotgun over the fire place.
and Britt McKillip as the bratty pretty girl Macy who says, "She's not a retard. She's an idiot savant."
Very interesting to see our Princess Cadance show up in an on-screen role. Who knew she got in front of a camera? Not I.
Ah, Anna Paquin. Such a bright young ingenue circa X-men... but that was like 15 years ago, right? Heck, even the movie you're reviewing here was almost 10 years ago. Surely her young-and-innocent look is going to run aground on middle age at some point?
(Not that I'm in any position to be knocking people for hitting middle age... just that it might prompt some different kinds of roles?)
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Britt has done a few live action things. Most of it was in tv shows like The Outer Limits and she had a recurring role as the younger sister in Dead Like Me. Mostly she's done voice work and I think she's in a band with her sister. Cadence in a band... that would be a good episode.
As far as Anna Paquin goes, she won her Oscar young doing a drama so, it's not like she isn't a capable actress. In a way winning the Academy Award may have saved her from getting typecast as much as someone like say, Meg Ryan or Sharon Stone who once they got popular only ever really got one type of role.
3455865 I stand corrected. I didn't realize Ms. Paquin had won an Oscar!
3456206 Yeah, she was like nine years old when she won best supporting actress for The Piano. She did a good job in a movie that is, frankly pretty slow and dare I say dull. It wasn't her fault, it's just the way the movie is. Oddly enough Leonardo DiCaprio also got his first nomination for best supporting actor in What's Eating Gilbert Grape and it is probably the least DiCaprio role I've ever seen him in that same year.
Anyway, Paquin has done a pretty wide range of stuff from Dramas like The Piano, Family stuff like Fly Away Home, did a little VA work in the dub of Castle in the Sky and The Good Dinosaur, and horror stuff as noted in the review. That's the cool thing about someone who really works at their craft though, unless they are just jerks to deal with, if they're good they'll always find work if they want it.
3456301 Completely unrelated: You missed a rhyming opportunity.
Could have easily read:
3456350 True but, then I would have to give up my go to line when hitting on the ladies or getting candy! Whether I get one or the other it's pretty sweet.
"Thy Snickers or thine posterior!"
Need to use that as some kind of battle cry at some point. Heh, though, it is definitely a fair point you bring up there. Always did wonder how much of a sweet tooth she might have had to actually earn such a tradition on such nights. Perhaps she just needed to sugar to work overtime, dealing with all the nightmares cropping up from the horror stories, terrifying fables and the like spread about during that period.
Still, thank you for the suggested film. Between the usual mix of John Carpenter creations and Hammer Horror classics, had been looking for something different to try. Thank you indeed!
3462482 Princess Luna and her Night Guard line up at the edge of a ravine Two Towers style. The mass of mongrel mutants that made off with the Mounds, Mentos and Milky Way manuever menacingly making minced meat of many. Then Luna issues her battle cry. "Thy Snicker or Thine Posterior," the Night Guard in some Spartan HOO moment readies and charges head long into the fray and drives the enemy off. She claims her candy as the sun rises in the east. She bites into the lone Snickers in the pile and oh my god it's Princess Celestia. You're not yourself when you're hungry you know.
And that's why I don't do commercials.
Anyway, thanks for the compliment and rocking out with Hammer and Carpenter is a good time anytime! Plus Peter Cushing is the the one true Van Helsing. Nobody else comes close.