Zombeavers (2014)

There has been concern in some circles about the viewership ratings for My Little Pony. According to various sources the overall viewership of the show is down from the previous year by anywhere from one hundred thousand to two hundred thousand viewers per week. This has raised some concerns for those within the fan base that, a slide in viewers may mean a slide in overall popularity of the show and that it may get its plug pulled sooner rather than later. Personally I'm not so worried about it for a number of reasons.

First off last season really did hit a high water mark in overall viewership for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. That season saw a record number of viewers and an approximate average of five hundred thousand viewers per original airing. This season we're seeing numbers that are honestly more in line with what the show had done on average historically. Part of this could be attributed to a shift in the way the show was marketed. Another reason could be attributed to the fact that the first half of the season took place during the summer which, typically is a ratings killer due to the fact that kids are off of school and families (yes kids included) don't tend to hang around the house or if they do they are participating in some sort of activity that isn't watching television. If viewership has returned to its normal level then by the end of the season the numbers should have rebounded to its normal four hundred thousand viewer average.

Second off, network executives aren't necessarily as concerned about viewer ratings as they used to be. If you don't believe me all you have to do is examine some of what Les Moonves said earlier this year. For those of you who don't know who Les Moonves is, he's the CEO and President of CBS and sits on the board of directors for Zenimax, the company that owns Bethesda ( The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim and Fallout 3). When looking at hiring Stephen Colbert there was concern about the fact that Colbert did not have the viewership numbers that Letterman had achieved. Moonves, when at the Milken Institute Global Conference had this to say about his decision to hire Colbert and the state of late night television in general, "Late night is not what it used to be. During the days of Johnny Carson, even the early days of David Letterman, it was much more of a profit center for all of us. The last few years it's been more about bragging rights, and clearly we're at a point where there's a real generational change. ... Late night is a very important part of our culture. It is not as economically profitable as it used to be. So they make a lot about the ratings, you know, and that really doesn't affect the bottom line. So I'd rather have the best guy, maybe, that doesn't quite have the ratings of the other guy."

In other words it's all about buzz. If a show or personality continues to generate good public relations, if it continues to generate the desired media buzz it's a success even if fewer people are watching it. But, there are also a couple of other things in My Little Pony's favor which is my next point.

Third, Hasbro is all about selling merchandise and the show is more or less a commercial for that merchandise. As long as the show continues to generate the buzz and promote the product it will stay on. It's the same sort of reason as to why we have Equestria Girls, Littlest Pet Shop and so on. Again, the shows don't have to have the most viewers they just have to have the right buzz and promote the brand in the way the company wants.

Unfortunately, the Mamaroneck Medical Research Facility might need more than just a little good PR after two truck drivers (John Mayer and Bill Burr) accidentally lose a barrel of toxic waste after crashing into a deer. The barrel gets into the local river and floats downstream before busting open next to a beaver dam creating Zombeavers. This of course leads to some complications.

For starters, three college girls have arrived at a cabin on said lake to get away from their boyfriends for a weekend. The guys, of course, don't take this lying down and decide to come up as well unbeknownst to the girls and all sorts of college shenanigans ensue for a little while. Even the locals take note of it.

Things take a turn for the worse for our boozing twenty somethings when one of the beavers tries to pull an Anthony Perkins on one of the girls that night. The next day the undead waterlogged rodents decide it's time to play a little footsie with one of the guys in the lake. Apparently he's never touched a beaver before.

Don't take this one too seriously folks. It's a silly little movie that bares its horror/comedy roots on its pelt. I might not show this one to Fluttershy, however as it might bring back unpleasant memories of her initial time befriending Discord.

Stats:
10 dead bodies
2 dead dogs
1 dead deer
Many Zombeavers
2 bare breasts
1 severed foot
multiple out of focus penis pictures
Multiple aardvarking sessions
Werebeaver
Bearbeaver
Beaver Bashing
Beaver Stabbing
Beaver Burning
Face Munching
Wang Chewing
Raft Fu
Knife Fu
Car Fu
Truck Fu
Texting Fu
Phone Fu

Shoutouts:

Bill Burr as Joseph one of the truckers who likes to text and drive and have amusing conversations with Luke.

Peter Gilroy as Buck for saying during sex, "Oh, I feel like a Power Ranger!"

Rex Lynn as Smyth who when told by the girls that they are looking for beavers says, "Well Hell, Ain't we all?"

Cortney Palm as Zoe for showing off a few times and for saying, "No, my eyes are closed," when asked if she can see anything in the darkness.

Brent Briscoe as Winston Gregorson for responding to his wife's concerns about the noises coming from the college kids cabin, "It's just those kids scissoring to Lady Gaga."

Hutch Dano as Sam for taking a brief role as leader and saying, "We cannot turn on each other right now. That's exactly what the beavers would want!"

Finally, Lexi Atkins and Rachel Melvin as Jenn and Mary who have a brief sort of bedroom scene before things get toothy.