I really appreciate the feedback I have received thus far, and have someone willing to do some pre-reading for me, hopefully fixing some of those grammar issues I am prone to. :)
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I also want to go back and flesh out the chapters a bit more, I feel like things could use a bit more detail, and then perhaps the pacing will not feel quite as rushed.
Great, looking forward to reading the even better versions in due course!
Hooray! moar!
Thanks to TwilightDerpyMagic for some proofreading and editing, when I finish the story then I plan on going back and fleshing it out.
Heeeey, congrats on the feature!
Gonna have to be sure to drop in a review, heheh.
Keep up the good work!
5959 Thanks! I have been getting some great reviews, aside from the unintentional Dragonborn feel. :)
All right everypony, I am going to take a day or two and see what I can do to fix the ending, I want to see if I can make it feel a bit less rushed as I am not honestly that happy with it either, if anypony has any creative ideas, feel free to message me and I will take them into consideration. It will help me become a better writer if nothing else.
So there it is, the new ending, eventually I will go back and flesh out the other chapters, there are a few scenes I would like to add, and a few things I would like to expand on. but until then, I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for all the praise and all the criticism. Hopefully the next story I write will be even better.