"The Crystal Empire" Honest Trailer · 5:23am Sep 27th, 2015
The following trailer is rated H for Honest.
When Hasbro decided that their latest plot twist pony princess needed a kingdom of her own,
one literally appeared out of thin air to accommodate. Oh, and there’s also this thousand-year-old prophecy curse thing attached to it. Hmm, first Nightmare Moon, now King Sombra? Man, life must’ve been rough a thousand years ago.
Deep within the frozen wastes of Hoth,
welcome to…
the Lost City of Atlantis.
I mean, uh, the Crystal Empire.
Wait, did they really just copy that design? At least it’s not gonna get a round portal with a rippling surface that allows travel to other worlds,
right?
Dang it!
The Crystal Empire...
—which is really only a city—
is under siege by a ruthless villain, who says very little,
and does even less.
Yeeaaahh, that’s not gonna work, buddy.
Join Twilight, a student of royalty…who totally cares more about passing her test than protecting the Empire,
as she searches for yet another ancient MacGuffin artifact: a sacred treasure of national pride,
apparently only mentioned on the last page of a single history book,
...that totally should’ve been able to stop Sombra when he tried to take over the Empire a thousand years ago in the first place.
But to make this story interesting, by order of expository plot inconvenience,
she must complete this task…all...
...alone!
…Eeeeven though this entire series so far has basically been about how teamwork is always the best solution to everything.
While on her quest for an A+, Twilight’s left the rest of the team behind with one job: to function as a stand-in for the local news media, tasked to entertain and distract the public
with…violence,
...cheap merchandise,
...and deception!
Honesty!
Strap yourselves in, for a two-episode-long conflict, comprising of nothing but…stares.
And…stairs.
Hey, they totally had that gravity power-up in Marble Blast Gold.
Starring:
Count ‘The Shadows’
Twi-Don’t-I-Sound-Concerned-In-This-Scene?
The Crystal Gems
Merchandising
The Other Guys
And…GAK Commercials!
My Little Pony: Buy Our Toys, They’re Transparent Now
Hmm, am I missing something? I feel like I'm missing something.
Eh, it’s probably not important.
This has been a parody of Honest Trailers by Screen Junkies. Be sure to go subscribe to them on YouTube for more Honest Trailer entertainment.
“With these seven friends, I build the Overlay Network, and Xyz Summon...Galaxy-Eyes Photon Alicorn! Destroy their Sirens with Rainbow Ex Machina Attack!”
“‘Use for Force, Harry,’ said Gandalf.”
“We’ll be back, after this, with more theme song on Sunday Night Football.”