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Vivid Syntax

Convention Runner, Statistician, and lover of all things Soarburn

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Sensation - Bonus Scene from Ch 28 · 4:10am Sep 21st, 2015

Hi, guys!

The latest chapter of Sensation is up, and I hope you enjoy it. Since you've been so patient with the updates, I wanted to give you a behind-the-scenes look at different directions the story can go and some of the changes that get made between drafts.

Sometimes, scenes get rewritten or cut because they don't fit in with the overall goals or direction of the story. Maybe the voices don't quite work, maybe the flow isn't quite right, or maybe something just doesn't fit. Below the break, I've included the first draft of the beginning of chapter 28, which had to be modified for a few such reasons. I'd love to hear your thoughts on it, and even if you don't want to comment, I hope you enjoy this little extra tidbit!


We'd been at the Apple house for two days, and this little pegasus filly had managed to ask a hundred times, "Are you really friends with Rainbow Dash?" Her name was Scootaloo, and she bounced up and down on the couch next to me as her orange wings buzzed and her short purple mane bounced with her.

"Well…" I teased. "I mean, I gotta be careful what I say. I might be her boss someday."

Scootaloo's eyes lit up. "She's going to be a Wonderbolt for sure!? That's so cool! Rainbow Dash is the best! You guys should totally date!"

“No, Scootaloo,” I said. “That would be silly. It would never work between us. Anyone that thinks Rainbow Dash and I should be together is obviously delusional. No question about it. I mean, there would be all these conflicts of interest, you know? I think she's a little young for me, too. Plus, Braeburn is so much cuter and sexier and I just want to mash our faces together over and over and over again for hours alone in my room, which isn't weird at all, and don't let those stupid ladies at the toy store tell you otherwise. Clearly Braeburn is the superior pony for me to be with, and there's nothing wrong with us having hot, sloppy, raunchy sex with screaming orgasms and gallons of cum."

"Of course not!" replied the filly, smiling at me.

Braeburn sauntered over to me and gave me a big kiss. "That's right, little fillies. Why, just the other day, Cherry Cobbler was talkin' to me 'bout how I should really get together with Little Strongheart, and that was right after Slate tried to set me up with Spitfire. Hell, Big Mac's been hittin' on me since I walked in the door!"

I smiled and winked at them. "Yeah, and see? There's Thunderlane right now, trying to win me over." I pointed out the window to the pouting black pegasus with a white and light blue-streaked mane. "But nah, it'll never happen."

Thunderlane shed a tear.

The three fillies walked towards us and said, "Thanks, Soarin'! Now we know better." A shooting star trailing the words "The More You Ship" shot behind them, leaving a sizable hole in the Apple house's west wall.

I smiled. "That's right, kids. If you ever see someone telling a story about me and Rainbow Dash being together, then you know for sure that they are crazy.”

"Plus," said Applejack, "She's already dating me."

Author's note: no, I don't actually mind who you ship. This was just for fun. I've got my own headcanons, but it's fun to see how other people interpret the characters. Seriously, though: Soarburn OTP!!!

Comments ( 5 )

:raritycry:Awwwww!! Poor Thunderlane. Send him Avid's way. He has the same preference as Brae. He likes the wings. LOL

*blushes furiously* SHUT UP!!!! *looks at Thunderlane* He is really cute though.

Heehee. Anyway. This is hilarious. I need this chapter after reading the previous four. Those were some heavy chapters. And oh my goddess Granny Smith is epic!!:rainbowlaugh: I wish more people could be like her.

Epic work as usual.


I'm kind of disappointed this didn't make it through to the editor's copy :fluttershysad:

Please, soarin' give everybody the juicy details... :rainbowderp:

Oddly enough, i actually haven't seen many soarin' dash stories...

Thunderlane's all yours. :rainbowlaugh: And I'm glad you liked this chapter. I agree – the story really needed some levity. Sounds like I did a decent job! :scootangel:

But it diiiiiiiid... At least, the concept did. I just thought of the rest of this a little before I posted it.

Really? I feel like a lot of the art and storeis I see is Soarin/RD shipping (at least the popular ones). Maybe the world is finally coming around. :rainbowderp:


I mean, considering the possibilities of then being shipped being as high as it is, i hardly see it compared to... Flutter dash, or mote commonly done from what I've seen, twidash and dusk/blitz. Seems homosexuality is a common trait in stories i read, now that i think about it. Completely unintended, but who's complaining?

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