Fic recs, September 7th! · 3:56pm Sep 7th, 2015
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So I’ve got two very long reviews today, which I put at the end, including an abrupt cessation of the big audiobook I started the other week. Right now, I’ve got a handful of one-shots in the list before the next audiobook, which is maybe an hour and a half total, so not a big deal, and then a series of 7 connected stories that I’ve decided to read all at once, since they’ve all got readings. Also, I’ve decided I’m gonna wait until I catch up with VisualPony’s channel before adding in another reader.It’ll take some time, but I’ll still have over 200 Captain Sand videos after that, so you’ll be seeing them again and again in the coming months. :B Just so ya know! Now, to edit some shit...
H: 0 R: 2 C: 4 V: 1 N: 1
Sonata in a raptor suit is my spirit animal.
Fish in the Clouds by teamidris
Reading by NeighratorPony
Sequel to Pony Poets Washing Day
Genre: Slice of Life
Fish and her father go to the air show to experience flight for themselves.
This is the piece, the reading specifically, that got me onto this series in the first place. Despite Neighrator’s assurances, I just had too many questions about the characters to dive into this headfirst. This story is a good bit more involved than any of its predecessors (and, notably, does not contain a poem), and that’s probably why I’m noticing more issues, like the odd dialogue, the POV switches, and so forth. There just wasn’t enough room for the characters to do things like that in the previous stories. So with that said, this one’s really fluffy, and while Fish manages to be cute once more, the constant switching between perspectives left me dizzy. Still, it’s nice seeing her parents get some more characterization, and even newcomers Stratus and Ozone have a good bit more to them than I’d expect for one-off characters. Weirdly, I do find myself missing the poem, as it gave this series something of a point, and the lack thereof demonstrates just how much these stories have been “ponies do things”.
Recommended If You Don’t Mind Writing Errors and Fluff
The Adventures of Sweetie_Belle.jpg by Dash the Stampede
Patreon reward for Protopony350
Genre: Random
Sweetie_Belle.jpg and her friends try their best to earn their shortcut logos.
This is one of the most bizarre yet internally coherent stories I have ever read. I’ll be honest, it’s a little hard to read, but I was hooked at the mention of “files and codes”, despite having to reread it three times to make sure I was seeing it right. Ultimately, it’s not an amazing story, fairly short and with a meh punchline, but the experience is kind of totally worth it.
Recommended
Black Eye by Arwhale
Genre: Slice of Life
Apple Bloom learns that there are consequences for the things we do.
Whoa, pulling things out of my read-it-sooner? What is this? :V This is one I read before, that’s what! I had downvoted it, and I can see why. After picking Apple Bloom (with brand-new black eye) up from school, Applejack gets the truth about what happened, and gives her a talking-to about how starting the fight puts her in the wrong, even if standing up for her friend was good to do. And then AJ has her get a switch. And it’s not even that I don’t believe ponies would do this kind of thing, or that having the Apples do it paints them in a negative light, it’s the fact that beating Apple Bloom for getting in a fight kind of completely destroys the lesson Applejack was trying to impart. Between that and the flat writing, I can’t say I’m a fan.
Not Recommended
What Do You Do With a Drunken Unicorn? by Tumbleweed
Reading (part 1???) by Captain Sand and MultiFanficADay
Reading by Ender
Genre: Drunken Ponies
If you’re not into that genre, you’ll likely not be into this. It’s not the most elegant comedy, at its best when it’s just Fluttershy dealing with Twilight drinking too much, but growing unfocused in the middle, thanks to a horny Rainbow Dash and lots of Doctor Who jokes. I’d read this once before and upvoted, and yeah, it’s amusing, but that’s about it.
Vaguely Recommended
Alone She Stood by Avox
Reading by Scribbler, BlackIrisBalloon and Wuten
Genre: Dark
The pony charged with the death of Berry Punch’s daughter awaits his verdict.
I have a lot of feelings about this piece: It’s not very pony. It’s a good look at sociopathy. It has a lot to say about the court of public opinion. I’m impressed with how well Berry Punch’s anguish comes through. I love that it’s first-person from the defendant’s POV. I would have switched out the last two lines. Ultimately, I think it’s a very effective darkfic, especially if you like courtroom dramas, which I do, it just depends on how much you need your ponies to be pony. This might work better as original fiction.
Recommended
The Little Foal That Wasn’t There by Lise Eclaire
Genre: Dream
Twilight’s lack of sleep is starting to take a toll on her appearance, her friendships, and her psyche.
This is a really strange story, a piece that weaves together waking and dreaming, poetry and obscure mythology into something that’s heartfelt, if a bit rushed. I really did enjoy the slow reveal of what’s going on, but once we find out, the narrative kicks into high gear, and the emotional impact is lessened for it. Also, there’s some odd word choice issues that made the dialogue sound unrealistic. But overall, I like this, even if I’m not sure how much I agree with Twilight’s wants, and I think it’s worth the read. (And if you're not familiar with "Antigonish", the poem it's based off of, don't worry; the story fills you in.)
Recommended If You Don’t Mind Fast Pacing
The Luna Cypher by iisaw
Reading (part 1) by VisualPony
Sequel to The Celestia Code
Genre: Adventure/TwiLuna
A fight with monsters escaping the sealing spell in the Badlands changes Twilight’s life in more ways than she could have anticipated.
Boy, do I have a lot to say about this. I compare it unfavorably to Daetrin’s Apotheosis, another TwiLuna sequel to a well-regarded adventure fic. While both have issues with the romance, this one doesn’t deliver quite as well on the adventure side of things, and the romance is… troublesome is the best way to put it. I’m going to discuss a lot of the plot from here on out, so you’ve been warned.
We start off with Twilight out in the Badlands, on an airship, surveying things or, honestly I forget, but there’s a fight with those shadow monsters from the end of The Celestia Code, and Rainbow Dash gets hurt. They go back to Canterlot, which is when Twilight starts realizing that the strange thoughts she’s been having indicate an attraction to Luna. This is where things started falling apart for me: that’s Alien Shipping Syndrome, right? (Not to mention Twilight went through the whole “I’m straight” thing in the previous story.) Well, yes, it is, but there’s actually a reason for it: she’s being mind-controlled by Luna.
Okay, but that’s actually no better, and the question of whether or not Twilight’s feelings are real plagues this whole story. Even after she and Celestia have it out and Twilight decides, I don’t care, I’m in love and we’re doing this, I was never 100% comfortable with their relationship. Once the real real reason why Twilight fell for Luna is revealed, I was just kind of over the whole thing, and thus thrown back into mental turmoil and feeling unsure about how to take it. It doesn’t do much to assuage a lot of my fears about the mind-control thing, and once the geas is removed, it’s time for fridge horror!
With that said, inception aside, I found the moving parts of the romance to be pretty good. They go on dates, they spend a lot of time nuzzling and kissing, they fuck a lot (I’m not kidding). It’s pretty solid shipping, and I enjoyed the middle of the story for it. I also realized something odd, if I may go off on a tangent: TwiLuna shipping gives Twilight a direct connection to the third Equestrian princess. I mean, Cadence was her foalsitter, Celestia was her teacher, but Luna? No real connection beyond “saved her from herself”. There’s a scene near the end where the four of them hug, and it just made me think of that.
Anyway, the rest of the story involves fighting the shadow monsters, dealing with Chrysalis, and Twilight learning more about what it means to be a leader. On that note, I need to do some comparing with The Celestia Code. This sequel does not stand alone, which is fine; mostly, if you picked it up on its own, you could be forgiven for finding Twilight not sounding like herself. She matures so much over the course of the first story, and continues to grow more confident, self-aware and capable over the course of this one. That’s one thing I really, really like about this series, and her voicing is really consistent as she develops, not to mention she’s allowed to become a leader without driving her friends away. Like Celestia Code, this story is chock full of incidental humor that keeps the events grounded in the show and helps dispel some of the darkness (Joss Whedon would be proud). Chapter 19 is a highlight because of this in particular, and Discord’s short role makes the whole story worth reading. (And you will never look at muffins or Old English the same way again.) The “Luna Cypher”, as it turns out, is not a code at all, but, I believe, a metaphor for Twilight figuring out Luna’s feelings and her own, and I rather appreciated that.
Odd is the way the OCs introduced in Code were used in this story. Jigsaw shows up all of twice, maybe? Sesseressia is barely mentioned. Csharreee has a significant cameo, but that’s all it is. You would think, having spent a whole novel building them up, the author would be eager to go on another outing with them, but I was mystified at what seemed like a desire to forget they ever existed.
On the topic of Csharreee’s cameo is another problem: pacing. I would characterize this piece as fast and unfocused. Quite often, conflicts are resolved in the same chapter they’re introduced (and when they aren’t, they are so much more satisfying). It seems like iisaw was trying to get a whole lot done as quickly as possible, given all the shaking-up the world and characters go through, but without lingering very long on any one event, none of it feels important. So something like Csharreee turning into another changeling Queen and taking over the hive goes down, and my only thought is, “Should I be concerned about this?” It meant that subplots like Chrysalis’s were just kind of there, and though I wanted to know more, I never got to. (On that note, Chrysalis and her beau deserve each other, but gross gross gross.)
One thing I do want to discuss is that this is one of those stories where Celestia is a deceitful manipulator of all things, and Twilight has to confront that. Usually, I hate that, but not in this case. Yes, the fact that they were butting heads throughout the middle of the story is what kept me from really enjoying most of it, but that Twilight eventually goes along with Celestia after hearing her out did wonders for my appreciation of the topic. (The author has told me that he believed Celestia was doing the right thing; I think that approach is what makes all the difference.) Not to mention Twilight proves to be a practiced manipulator herself during the course of things.
In all, I think “unfocused” is the best way to categorize this. I’m pretty sure it’s just setup for the next sequel (that’s the reason I read this, btw) and so falls prey to a lot of what happens to most part-two’s-of-three. Still, it's got a lot of cool action scenes, badass Twilight, and decent shipping for TwiLuna fans.
Upgraded to Recommended 7/14/16
Upheaval: Breaking Point by Visiden Visidane
Reading (part 1) by VisualPony
Reading (part 1) by Forest Rain
While I actually listened to VisualPony’s version this time around, I wanted to make mention of Forest Rain’s, possibly one of the best-known readings in the fandom, and officially review her. I started listening to it after following her for her music (sadly, I don’t think she does either anymore), and though I didn’t get into the story, I can’t fault her reading. Quick-paced and smooth, with good quality, she’s another option if you want to listen to this piece.
Genre: Grimdark
After a teleportation spell goes horribly wrong, Twilight Sparkle learns the truth of why her life in Equestria is so safe and peaceful.
I have, shall we say, a long history with this story. The first time I read it (I am pretty sure I was pre-reading it for Equestria Daily), I quit after two chapters, finding it ridiculous. The second time was after subscribing to Forest Rain. The story had gotten onto EQD by that point (there was a time when you couldn’t visit the fic updates threads without seeing that image of Twilight Sparkle), so I thought I’d give it another shot; again, I couldn’t get past chapter two. (I’m pretty sure the scene that stopped me both times involved a pony killing himself rather than face death at the hooves of somepony else.)
So this was the third time, and that is, as they say, the charm. I couldn’t make it all the way through (despite this being vs.-worthy, I gave myself the option of getting out early), but I did make it considerably further in, quit for a different reason than before, and gained a newfound appreciation for it. So I want to start the actual review by emphasizing this: Upheaval: Breaking Point is not a bad story. What it is is a test of the old adage, “There are no bad stories, only bad writers.”
Because this is just about the worst idea for a fanfic I’ve ever seen. Comparisons to Fallout: Equestria are ready. You’ve got a grimdark world surrounding the idyllic “Heartland” of show-Equestria. You’ve got edgy-as-fuck OCs with names like “Dreadstep”, “Blademane” and “Vanguard Clash”. There’s a third alicorn. I hear Twilight learns battle magic down the line.
And yet, very few of these things are problems once you give the story a chance. The one chapter I read myself was free of errors. The pacing is just about perfect. There’s a little bit of LUS, but I can forgive a little, especially from a season 1 fic. But most of all, the characters are amazing. Vanguard Clash, for all that he has the absolute worst name in the story, is a strong front-runner, a bastion of reasonableness in a sea of hot-headed jerks. Scarlet Rabbit endeared himself to me before I even learned his name. Where I left off, we’d just been formally introduced to the medic, Redbrand, and I love him to death. Pyre Valor is a marvelously sympathetic villain. Even Prince Terrato is a good character, and the dynamic he has with his sisters is believable.
So what killed it for me? The realization in chapter 13 that there was a Romance tag. Much as I like the OCs, I did not want to live through a single one of them being shipped with the mane cast, and by that point, not only were there rumblings of a Vanguard/Twilight pairing, but Scarlet and Rainbow’s first meeting is rife with the underpinnings of romantic tension. (God, I hope the same can’t be said for Redbrand and Fluttershy.) Also, I called the pacing “just about perfect”, but I noticed, judging from the sequels’ descriptions and the chapter titles, that the “real” villain isn’t introduced until closer to the halfway point. Of course, that doesn’t affect what I read, but there is also the problem that all six of them could just as easily have been teleported to the Barrier Lands by that cursed gem, cutting the story down by ten chapters.
And ultimately, I was never really invested in this story. I coasted along on the grimdark setting, finding it nowhere near as riveting as the Wasteland. I wanted more scenes of Twilight trying to remember where she’d gone, and less back and forth. I was put off by “Celestia has a terrible secret she’s willing to sacrifice her student to keep”. I greatly disliked what was done with the Nightmare, not just because it robbed Luna of her agency, but because making it a Wolven spirit was just dumb. The Wolven themselves are pretty boring monsters. Anything that I was interested in wasn’t something I really wanted to be interested in, like waiting for the moment when the mane six realize they’re in this situation for real, there’s no take-backs, and nobody’s going home. (I got the feeling they all assumed the banishment was temporary, something they could conquer like so many Equestrian monsters.) There were lots of little details that irked me, like no one noticing Fluttershy is “chosen”, despite that being the first thing anyone notices about Twilight. And the grimdarkness of the Barrier Lands would have been easier to swallow if Equestria didn’t have its own darkness within. (At least history has absolved me; the Barrier Lands can't exist.)
Oh yeah, and Sharpfangs is the worst pony OC design since red and black alicorns. It’s like the author was deliberately testing my patience with that one. D:
Again, though, I want to state, this is not a bad story, and if you like stuff like Fallout: Equestria for its twisting of the show’s tone, this is a more low fantasy-style grimdark with considerably better writing. In fact, I’m not even gonna mark it DNF, despite the fact that I quit in chapter 13 out of 48. Visiden Visidane is a good writer, and I'm gonna see if he's got any non-Upheaval offerings (spoilers: he doesn't). Overall, this is worth the read if you can stomach the main idea. (And the eventual shipping.)
Recommended for Grimdark Fans
You twist and turn with my heart, PP. You actually liked a fic I was convinced you wouldn't and disliked one of my absolute favourites in the whole fandom.
I can sympathize with your feelings on Upheaval. I am pretty against the trope of, "Oh, the world may seem happy, but that's just a cover! The show is a lie! The real world is dark, gritty, and edgy!"
That said, I damn near devoured the story. The battle scenes were epic and gritty, and seeing the girls deal with things like taking a life was starkly painful, like it should be. The overall conceit of the story still bugs me, and its characterization of Celestia dances with the most irritating tropes of the "Chessmaster-Lestia" I have ever seen. For real, this story is tied with Mortal by Benman for the worst characterization of Celestia I have ever seen in a serious story, but godDAMN if this isn't an amazing war story. I didn't even mind the romance...
until the sequel made a love triangle between Twilight, AJ, and Vanguard(I think it was him. Been a while.) At that point, the seams started to show a bit for me, the darkness got a bit too grim for my tastes, and I had to leave it. It sucks, because Visidine is a great guy and an amazing author. He's one of those guys who I always get excited when I see him comment on a story because he's so damn insightful.
Oh, it also probably helped that this was the first epic-length story I ever read in the fandom. Way back when most our good stories were still on Fanfiction.net or GDocs. o_O
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Well, you did come in 6th in that recent "which reader reads more stories I recommend" thing. :B I think the lesson here is we are both silly ponies.
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Yeah, this thing is old, and what really impresses me about Visidane is that the series is still ongoing. It looks like he's got two stories being updated concurrently. Not many authors can say they've done that.
Deffo not interested in that love triangle tho. D:
Source on that pic, please?
[insert grumbling here]
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But can you think of a story that's handled a love triangle better than that? All of visidane's gambles, grimdark and romantic, payoff with excellent execution.
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Not really, because I dislike that kind of inter-personal conflict between the girls. Don't get me wrong, I love seeing them butting heads and disagreeing, but when it's due to differences in the way they see things and how they deal with the world. When they have a rift over a love interest, while it may be real-to-life, it's just not my kind of thing. Visidin once told me, I think. that the triangle is resolved rather quickly and isn't that integral to the story as a whole, but at this point, the whole story sort of... lost its appeal to me. As I said before, the entire conceit of the story, the dual-worlds shtick, isn't something that I enjoy. I love seeing the world as it is in the show, or through a twisted lens, but don't try and do both, because it cheapens both and makes them seem less effective.
This is probably the best compliment I can receive :V
This is very true, mileage may vary. I remember back when Chris reviewed it on OMPR, he told me it was a 'competently-executed crackfic; an example of how to do Random/Comedy right.' I'm very proud of what came to be a silly adventure spawned from a measly edit I was making for a friend :V
That being said, the Recommended fills me with warm fuzzies. Knowing I'll never write to the quality of an HR, I will claim my gold medal as-is :D
Thanks, PP, I'm glad you liked it!
Considering you're my main inspiration for Ran/Co fics :V
I dunno about that. I was hooked on FO:E, but gave up on Upheaval midway through. I actually read Upheaval first, and put off reading FO:E for a long time because I was worried that they'd be similar. They're not really. Maybe they are superficially, but they have completely different vibes to them...
I don't know. It's hard to describe. I started writing this comment because I wanted to describe the difference between the two, but I'm having a lot of trouble putting it into words.
thanks for confirming that I'll probably stick to having enjoyed the celestia code and won't set myself up for dissapointment in the sequel.
Thanks for the review PP! From your comments as you read it, I was worried that your overall assessment wouldn't be as favorable.
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My experiences with Upheaval are pretty much exactly the same. "A not-so-great idea done extremely well that goes on too long to be sustainable," would be my one-line review.
Yeah, Upheaval's Celestia is kinda bad. She does get one awesome moment in the sequel (I think? It all runs together) where she finally decides to kick ass. Not really worth reading the whole thing for just that thought.
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Ponut Joe on tumblr. Can't link to it because the post is rife with gasp NUDITY!
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I am le touched :')
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I would, however, just read a fic about Redbrand yelling at ponies in a hospital. :V
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Welp, there goes all of my desire to look the source up :(
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He draws the best humans tho :B
Welp, suppose I have vimbert and regidar to add to my list of supports. Muh poor wallet
Upheaval feels like an attempt to blend MLP with LotR, The Matrix, and Dark Souls. It's certainly one of the most unique series' I've ever read, but it does have its flaws. Celestia's attitude is admittedly iffy, and Sharpfang's design is pretty silly. Leaving him with aggressive tendencies as a result of his blood would have been fine; no need for him to have those fangs.
It's too bad you didn't get far enough into it to see how the girls each end up wielding their signature weapons. I think you would have liked Rarity's in particular.
Perhaps I'm biased in this but I read Breaking Point during season 2 and, as a sucker for dark writing (TUA is a testament to this), I adored the story as a whole despite its flaws. I remain caught up with the series to this day. VV is writing exactly the story that VV wants to write and he knows perfectly well that he has his critics.
Now, what to make you read with my patreon reward...
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Signature weapons are for anime and Steven Universe. D: