The Immortal Game liveblog 2: Chapters 1 & 2 · 6:11pm Sep 6th, 2015
Welcome to the second instalment of my liveblog of AestheticB's The Immortal Game. Remember, the index post (linked above) will be in every post; it will enable you to keep track of all the entries I make.
This post will deal with the first two chapters of the story, "He Has Returned" and "My Name is Nihilus". It's done in a rather linear fashion that I won't necessarily stick to for later posts; this is just how it turned out this time. As I'm now into the story itself, you can assume that spoilers will be pervasive -- so don't read beyond the break if you don't want to see them!
Well, I was half right last time: we do start with a sort of weather report, "Celestia's sun" and all, but it didn't exactly last very long. No: we're plunged straight into a pretty serious battle between Celestia and Luna. They aren't holding back, and it quickly becomes clear that this isn't going to be a fic that would shy away from killing off ponies. Lots of death already, and we're barely getting started!
Lt. Coruscare is described as "the most powerful unicorn alive", which of course raises the question of what's happened to the Great and Powerful Twilight. This bugged me until it was revealed a bit later on that this was a nightmare of the past. I wonder how that aspect might have been different has this story been written now, with Luna's dreamwalking an important part of show canon. (Along with singing flowers and Giant Derpy, but hey.)
Let's get the Royal Canterlot Grammar thing out of the way here: it isn't particularly well done to start with, though it does improve somewhat later. For no apparent reason, the word "thy" isn't used, being replaced by "thine" on (I think) every occasion the word could have been employed. Still, I've seen worse. Mind you, the other voicing occasionally seems off, too: take Luna telling Celestia that "I was kidding, sister".
And then Celestia's parents turn up, with a mention of Discord thrown in, because why not? Titan and Terra seem a bit by-the-book at this point, even down to their being rivals, but perhaps they'll show more depth later on. Like the princesses, they have "blades", which seem to be basically plot devices magical swords. I get the feeling that these may play a major role in the story, since they seem pretty overpowered for normal warfare.
We then get a frankly somewhat forced explanation for how the "Anti-Twilight" will work. Don't get me wrong, the basic concept seems interesting and scary in equal measure -- and that's fine for a darkfic -- but there's rather a lot of messing around in the bit about that certain book being placed in a certain spot, and since Real!Twi would be suspicious (would she? Hmm) the Anti-Twilight wouldn't. Oh, and Terra is crushed. Again.
"My Name is Nihilus" opens with a complete change of tone: the Mane Six are at a dance club (okaaaay) and Rarity is being a pain. I suppose this is her less mature early-series self, so fair enough. Here's one place where I have a major problem with the story: Rarity hasn't previously bothered to tell the others that there was an attempt on Celestia's life the previous week. Come on, author, that's just unbelievable.
After being told that mind magic is "totally forbidden" and that probably only the princesses can do it, something which might as well be accompanied by big flashing arrows and a sign saying "Lots of mind magic later, readers!", Rarity dons her +2 Cape of Exposition and tells us all about blades. (See my earlier comment.) Applejack takes care to remind us about her "innate" magic, and Rainbow Dash accidentally calls Fluttershy hot. Why, hello there, Ms Fanservice!
Then they realise that "the world had changed" and weatherpony Rainbow realises that all that lightning isn't actually, well, lightning. Also, the Moon is now red. Holy Supermoon, Batmare! In fact, this is not because of a rather ineffective lunar eclipse (can those even happen on Equus?) but because Equestria is now in War Mode. We know all this because Rarity is still wearing her cape, though I'm sure she's reworked it into a darling little evening gown.
Next scene! Twilight arrives at Dash's house. How? (No wings, remember.) "Magic." You'd think Rainbow would remember "Sonic Rainboom", but still. Twilight gives a frankly rather unconvincing spiel about how she needs to do something that will hurt-not-hurt Rainbow. Dash, being an idiot, accepts this fairly easily. Guess what, Dashie? It's AntiTwi! Who'd have seen that coming? Okay, everyone in the world except you, but never mind.
Finally things get really dark again. Rainbow fights the corruption, but can't beat it. Real!Twi is "in here", says AntiTwi, but she can't stop her corrupting Rainbow, who turns black and grey. In the cover picture, her cutie mark doesn't; it's not clear whether that's the case here. AntiTwi, using dark magic I suppose (again, this fic might have used that had it been written later), causes a little bit of Rainbow's mind to be "eaten" every time she disobeys.
The twisted genius of AntiTwi's spell becomes clear: Dash will only be clear-headed and sane once she obeys. She will commit atrocities while completely out of it (and I doubt we're talking about her rapping here) but only realise once she's done it. This bit of the chapter did make me shudder -- it's doubtless been done by any number of other authors too, but it's probably the darkest thing we've seen so far.
Rainbow has been ordered to "beat Pinkamena Diane Pie to within an inch of her life". (Okay, maybe the atrocities do relate to rapping.) I can't immediately see the point of using her full name there -- "Pinkie Pie" would surely have done just as well. The way this fic has gone so far, I have a nasty feeling that this beating may actually happen, and that we may have to read about it.
Phew. Overall feelings at this point? Could go either way. Either it's going to be a horribly dark and twisted but also horribly brilliant epic – or it's just going to be horrible. To be the former, it's going to need to concentrate more on the psychological horror than on the gore. The Teen rating gives me some hope about that. Also, will AntiTwi corrupt Dash's friends too? If so, how? If not, why not?
Next time: chapters 3 and 4! These add up to close on 30,000 words, so I expect quite a lot to happen. I'll guess at the corruption of more of the Mane Six -- perhaps not entirely successful -- some more battles (in flashback or not) and finding out a bit more about Titan. I hope Pinkie's beating is avoided, but...
I'd love to see a version of this fic where Nihilus is revealed to be Vanilla Ice in disguise.
3374756 "Filli Vanilla Ice" in which Nihilus, being otherwise engaged, hires Flutterguy to handle the rapping, the total enslavement of the Mane Six to the forces of darkness, and the canapés.
Magic unicorn swords for everypony! Well, the unicorns anyway.
3373491 Open goal, I know...
3381852 It's kind of a shame this fic pre-dates Maud. I'd have liked to have seen her wielding a blade!
3382757
Sadly, as an earth pony she would get the boring powers of super strength and healing. Maybe predicting the future.
3382781 For all I know, later in this story earth ponies will be revealed to have the power to create new universes through some sort of mystical resonance with not only Equestria's earth, but all earths anywhere. Okay, probably not, but you never know!