Death Battle: The RED Spy Vs Queen Chrysalis · 11:34pm Sep 3rd, 2015

Nighty: Sorcerer.

Sorcerer: Yeah?

Nighty: You haven't uploaded any content, the viewers are getting bored.

Sorcerer: (looks through archives) OH HERES SOMETHING!

Ah glorious battles. Guaranteed to get any Klingon into Sto-Va-Kor!

A BAT CREDIT CARD?

Yes. Or not. Maybe it could be anything! That's what you have to expect when dealing with masters of deceit! Like The RED Spy from Team Fortress 2.

NO! DOES NOT COMPUTE! I EAT YOU! I EAT YOU ALL!

...and Queen Chrysalis from My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

(Sigh) He's Sorcerer, and I'm Ember.

And we'll find out who will win a Disguise Battle!

(Doors close)

(Doors open)

The Spy is one of the Mercs who battle the opposite team in seemingly endless fights.

Though, he's clearly different from his colleagues. He's a master of stealth, preferring strategy over force.

The Spy is French and it shows. Though no one has seen his true face, some had suspected he is the Scout's father due to his relations with his mother.

No matter who he is, he is still master of the stealth kill. His watch can turn him completely invisible! He has a few variants, including the Cloak and Dagger, which has a motion sensitive battery, and the Dead Ringer, which he can use to fake his death.

The Spy carries many dangerous knives to backstab his opponents. Most of the time, it's a one hit kill. Take for example the Spy-cicle or the regular knife.

My personal favorite is Your Eternal Reward, which lets you disguise as the person you killed.

The Spy carries a variety of Sappers, pieces of technology that can cause others to malfunction. The Spy carries the Red-Tape Recorder, The regular Sapper and even Wheatley!

Ember.exe has crashed.

I hate it when that happens...

The Spy carries a bunch of pistols too. Including, my personal favorite, The Ambassador.

BOOM, HEADSHOT!

The Spy is perhaps the most clever of the Mercs. He once fooled 3 other Mercs including another Spy into thinking he was a BLU Scout!

He even got a kid to kill and evil Australian Santa!

The Spy once killed a Heavy and a Soldier at the same time in a small room.

With only his knife! He killed two people simultaneously, with ONE KNIFE.

The Spy is also capable of killing more than one hundred people by himself in about 2 minutes.

Wow.

He took on many challenges including other Mercs, living bread, the dead, robots...

And SAXTON HALE! THE MANLIEST MAN MAN THAT EVER MAN MANNED!

We have to do Chuck Norris vs Saxton Hale someday.

The Spy has successfully destroyed over a thousand robots and some of them being 3X taller than him.

And some of those robots... Were him.

The Spy, although his many attributes is fairly weak and cannot take a hit well. His main weakness? Fire.

BURN! BURN TO THE GROUND! B-B-BURN!

But the Spy is a deceiving mastermind capable of stealing anything. Including Scout's Mother's virginity.

(Doors close)

(Doors open)

You may remember that me and Ember talked about a threat that Celestia faced that was the closest thing she fought that came to Amaterasu's strength.

If not, check battle #3.

Well, everyone?

This is that threat.

Queen Chrysalis is the queen of the changelings and master of disguise.

And lasers!

Wanting to take Equestria because their land has more love than any other place in the world and it just so happens, changelings feed on love, Queen Chrysalis successfully infiltrated Canterlot Castle. How did she do it? There was a wedding at the time and enter Chrysalis to kidnap the bride and replace her.

We do not mention the crystal princess.

Queen Chrysalis disgusted herself and hypnotized Shining Armor, the groom, into giving all his love to her. You see, behind the scene-

...

What? Were you expecting me to interrupt you?

Yes, actually.

Why? I have nothing against Shining. We're bros!

Nothing....nothing....

Anyways, Shining Armor didn't know that it wasn't the real Cadence he was about to marry until it was too late.

And then he was hypnotized.

Sound familiar?

Oh! Right! That. Forgot about that movie.

Fortunately, Twilight Sparkle and the real Cadence came in just in time....for Queen Chrysalis to royally screw over everypony and reveal her true form.

That's what she said.

Queen Chrysalis defeated Celestia, easily I might add, and captured the Mane Six. If it wasn't for the Deus Ex Machina, CHRYSALIS WOULD RULE THE PLANET!

And you'd be her slave. Not me, I have guns.

Actually, I'm already an evil tyrant's slave...

Anywho, Chrysalis was defeated by...

Hewy: THAT'S THE POWER OF LOVE!

FEEL THE POWER OF LOOOOOOOVE!

CAN YOU FEEL IT?!

No. I lost the feeling of love when I saw Sonic 06. The only thing that could possibly cheer me up is probably... LAYTON 4 SMASH!

Chrysalis hasn't been heard from again and her story ends there....

...

Aren't you going to talk about the comics?

COMICS MOFO!

In the story arc: Queen Chrysalis's Revenge she is more diabolical than ever. Turns out, Chrysalis did survive the fall to the badlands.

Oh, good. Taiwanese Parliament!

Chrysalis traps EVERYPONY in cocoons. Of course Mane Six save the day, but she captures the CMC.

Again, the Mane Six defeat her and save them. She's still alive though. Scheming and waiting...

Like Fawful. And Dimentio. And Kefka. And Kuklinski, the Spirit of Rashkagna!

Yes! The spirit of Rashkagna.

He will rise and destroy us all if we do not feed him our Love Nectar!

Chrysalis has many abilities. Her most notable being the power to change her appearance as well as her voice.

(In an aussie accent) Pretty amazing for a Bittie horse combo!

If we're accepting non-canon, she can also do a German accent, Spanish accent, Italian accent, Japanese accent...the list goes on.

Even Skrussian!

Chrysalis, being an Alicorn of sorts, has the ability to fly and use all the spells mentioned in Celestia Vs Amaterasu. She can also mesmerize her opponent with hypnosis. Quite the seductress.

She's a black magic woman!

(Plays guitar solo)

Chrysalis is a mastermind in terms of strategy and can play her opponent right into her hands. She can also generate Maleficent-style GREEN FIRE!

Eh. Green ain't my bowl of rice.

Light blue FTW.

Anyways, Queen Chrysalis can shoot a magical laser similar to Celestia's. Only it's green instead of yellow. She's also in charge of an army of changelings of which we can only assume is as large if not larger than any army we've ever seen.

Well, maybe you... I've seen bigger. (Cough cough) Dark side!

Chrysalis can also trap her foes in cocoons. Creepy...

(Shudder) It's like being stuck in mind control jello!

The changeling Queen can teleport her foes to another location by trapping them in the aforementioned green fire.

DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, IN A BURNING RING OF FIRE!

Joshscorcher already made that joke!!!

So? Millions have already eaten Chokkies.

(Sigh) Fine. Remind me when you want to call Scootaloo a chicken...

Chrysalis feeds off love. The more love she gets, the stronger she becomes.

So, Rashkagna is the best day for them?

Rashkagna is Christmas for them.

Also, Scootaloo's a chook. Chookaloo.

At least that's original.

It means chicken where I come from.

Gosh darn it to HECK!

Why... Why are you doing that? You worried the Decency Department will get you?

No, I'm tired of pressing the darn star button. Anyways, Chrysalis is actually...kind of fragile. Her legs, if you haven't noticed, have holes in them, and her wings are like one of a demented butterfly.

It looks like old cheese.

Queen Chrysalis is sadistic. She even KILLED AN ANIMAL RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE CMC'S EYES!

So? I've mentally scarred children before! It's surprisingly easy.

I'm basically the Batman of super villains. I don't kill. At least not directly. Anywho! Chrysalis is one of the deadliest villains in MLP history and is one we shan't soon forget.

You bet your freckle we won't!

(Doors close)

The combatants are set, let's settle this debate once and for all.

But first... Do we have a sponsor?

We're sponsored by the Equestrian Villains League. They wanted this to happen for a long time.

Oh. Carry on, then. Also, this ain't racist what I'm doing. I AM part Aussie!

It's time FOR A DISGUISE BATTLE!

No...doesn't have the same ring to it.

(Doors open)

(Chrysalis sits in her lair on her throne. She looks out the window which transitions into another scene. The RED Spy is waiting outside against the wall, holding the phone to his ear)

Medic (on codec): Spy! Are you inside the base!?

Spy: Sort of. This will take some time.

Medic: Well...once again, Engineer sends his thanks for turning ze lemons into lemonade.

Spy: Just remind him not to tamper with the teleporter again.

(Spy hangs up. He checks a window just outside the Changeling Hive and sees Chrysalis. He calls Medic again.)

Spy: Doctor!

Medic: What is it?

Spy: I've found their leader. I shall make quick work of the demented scum.

(Spy cloaks and sneaks into the hive. He sees that Chrysalis is the only one in the room. He secretly locks the door from the inside, but Chrysalis hears him.)

Chrysalis: Who's there!

(Spy freezes.)

Spy: Just make this easy and I promise this will be as painless as possible.

(Spy sneaks up behind Chrysalis, decloaks and shoots her in the head.)

Spy: I lied.

(Chrysalis gets back up and flares her horn)

Sorcerer: Go for broke!

Ember: DITES VOS PRIÈRES!

(Spy cloaks again. Queen Chrysalis looks around. Spy decloaks again behind her.)

Spy: Surprise!

(Chrysalis bucks Spy and he lands on the floor. He decloaks again and a sound is heard that is similar to the sound of a door closing)

Chrysalis: I do hope you've learned your lesson, scum.

(A changeling enters the room.)

Chrysalis: I could use some good news after today. Out with it.

(The changeling walks up to Chrysalis and stabs her)

Chrysalis: RGAAH!

(Spy decloaks)

Spy: I claim this land for France and unicorns!

Chrysalis: You foal!

(Chrysalis shoots many laser beams but the Spy barely dodges them.)

Spy: Is that all you've got?

(Chrysalis fires rapid fire laser beams and one appears to have hit Spy)

Spy: NOOOOO!

(Spy's corpse falls to the floor.)

Chrysalis: Your ignorance was your downfall.

(The dead ringer sound is heard)

???: On the contrary, mademoiselle.

(Spy chokes Chrysalis to death)

Spy: It was yours.

Spy Is Dominating QueenOfChangelings

Spy: The world will thank me for this, you monster!

KO!

(Epilogue shows Spy grabbing a black suitcase and The RED Team mowing down tons of Changelings)

The Spy had the obvious advantage here.

Que pensiez-vous? Le bug gagnante?

The Spy's cloaking trumped Queen Chrysalis's magical abilities. She couldn't keep up with him, therefore she couldn't attack him as easily. And let's not forget The Spy killed many more lethal foes than Chrysalis in his lifetime. And before you say that we didn't actually get to see any disguising from Chrysalis, it wouldn't help her in the slightest.

But, Spy did later pose as Chrysalis, allowing him to steal their government secrets.

Human In Equestria fic inbound! The winner is The Red Spy.

Was there ever any doubt?

Next time on Death Battle!

SMASH!

Sorcerer: Comment below if you have an idea for a Death Battle. Even if you don't, comment anyways so we know you liked it. Seriously, it's like the only way we know you actually read this stuff. It's devilish, this thing.

Ember: God, I'm hyped as hell! Even if some of our combatants have the kangaroos loose in the top paddock...

Sorcerer: WE'LL DO IT LIVE!

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