Fic recs, August 30th! · 9:01pm Aug 30th, 2015
Sorry if you got two notifications about this. I reflexively hit ctrl-s while editing, which apparently posts. :B
Well, I finished that little audiobook logging project I was talking about! You can see the results here. It took three whole days to finish, but in my defense, at least one person has asked for something like this, so that's my excuse. :V Also, halfway through, I realized I wanted to format it differently, but that’s a lot of shit to change, so this is what we’re stuck with. D:
Of course, the real reason I did this was because I wanted to see what readers produced what ratings. Mostly, I've been concerned about regularly panning fics that Scribbler reads, but I found that, while she has considerably more catalogued readings than anyone else, and thus more V's and N's than anyone else, they don't make up the bulk of the ratings I've given to fics she's chosen. (Actually, C's do, because shipfics. :B) So I feel good about that. :) Neighrator Pony, as it turns out, has the highest 'score', if you will. Overall, the number of stories that sit in the RCL today solely because I listened to someone read them is staggering, and I hope everyone who does fic readings feels good about that. :D
This is a really long one, somehow, so buckle in for reviews of Ciphers by Grand_Moff_Pony, Melon Hunter's Special Relativity, Hyperportentia by MyHobby and five other fics!
H: 2 R: 2 C: 1 V: 1 N: 2
Pony Poets: The Wheel Story by teamidris
Sequel to Pony Poets
Genre: Slice of Life
Parents and filly make up a poem.
So the foal from Pony Poets has been born, and now our erstwhile OC’s have names: Sam, Glyn and the filly is... Fish? <.< Sam at least is explained as short for “Salmon”, while Fish is just a nickname, the filly’s real name apparently being Cloud. Glyn is not, however, explained, nor is a mention of “James”. The poem’s not any better, the punctuation problems are joined by capitalization and other things, and the closeness of Sam and Glyn from the first story is missing. Overall, I’m feeling very unimpressed by this one.
Not Recommended
Moonlit Sparkles by Mazzyrazzy
Reading (part 1) by VisualPony
Genre: TwiLuna
Twilight goes off to Canterlot to prepare for a magical tournament, where she makes friends with the last pony she would have expected…
Generally, my approach to long fics is “read as little as possible”; that’s why I keep the DNF option around. With this story, I could tell by the end of the first chapter that it was going to be bad; by all rights, I shouldn’t have gone past chapter 2. And yet, some part of me wanted to see just how bad it could get by the end. In the end, it wasn’t that bad, despite the train-wreckiness, but there certainly isn’t much here to recommend.
Being S1 TwiLuna, comparisons to Common Sky were ready, starting with the setup: Twilight leaves her friends behind to go off somewhere where she can run into Luna and fall in wuv. For all that Common Sky hasn’t aged well, though, this has aged worse. If not for the shipping plot, this would have just been a somewhat boring, predictable and quintessentially S1 fic: the Aura Bloom is pretty much “Best Young Flyers but with magic”, and Twilight fucking up her spell after a lengthy buildup about how great a magician she is was eye-rollingly painful. But the shipping drags it down into “not worth reading territory”, with its combination of melodrama, Alien Shipping and struggling against unbelievable amounts of homophobia wrapped around the briefest of romances. This is a story in love with the idea of romance, yet not willing to put in the effort to give that romance solid foundations.
Here’s how it goes: Twilight goes to Canterlot. She meets Luna. We do the whole “forget the end of the pilot and call her Nightmare Moon” thing (it happens again in the final chapter with her friends and is no less irritating). Twilight feels bad because she makes Luna cry. She makes an effort to be friends with her. They fall in love after a day of being friends, because. There’s angsty conflict because ponies apparently don’t understand the idea of long-distance relationships; when Twilight leaves Canterlot after the contest, poof, that’s it, they can never, ever be together ever again, forever. (I’m really trying to convey how ridiculous and dramatic the shipping plot is.) Twilight goes back to Ponyville, Luna follows her, cue aforementioned confrontation with friends, affirmation of love in the face of potential rejection by said friends, and dramatic, climactic kiss ruined by single tear, the end.
Characterization is a big problem. Where I described Common Sky’s S1 Luna as “wooby as fuck” (no, I don’t know what that means, shut up), Luna in this story is painfully emo. I’ll admit I liked Celestia’s observation that Luna believes everything that goes wrong around her is her fault, but the way it comes off in practice is just Luna moping about everything and clinging tightly to the first pony who gives her the time of day and isn’t palace staff. (Crying makes her happy, and she is, at one point, directly compared to Fluttershy.) This isn’t a good start for a relationship, is what I’m getting at. Plus, she’s a Sympathy Sue. And I mean, she has a garden that she tends for some reason, and at one point, Twilight notices a patch of roses with a single purple one in the middle, with a note dedicating it to the pony who taught Luna her heart had more than one color. That one color? Black. (And then Luna burns the garden down near the end of the story because she’s having a tantrum, and only the purple rose survives. She imbued it with Twilight’s scent. Not creepy at all.)
Twilight came off pretty okay, save that I had to wonder why she was going through with a “display of magic prowess” type contest. I mean, Owl’s Well is referenced in this story, so Boast Busters was well and truly canon when it was written. Her friends, meanwhile, fare less well. The scene where they show up before the contest and meet with Twilight again draws comparison directly to Sonic Rainboom. It felt like the author had a checklist they went down to make sure each character had one line of dialogue through which they could express their primary character trait. Rarity in particular felt poorly rendered, if only because she's the most vocally disdainful of “filly-foolers”. (I nearly died at Dash’s casual heteronormativity; I can’t explain why, but it was hilarious.) She’s also extremely rude to Fluttershy in the final chapter. There are some OCs created to judge the contest who are introduced poorly; one in particular gets oddly a lot of attention and is later revealed to be over a thousand years old with no real explanation. It was a low point.
As for the writing, it’s full of issues: close repetition, LUS, POV and tense shifts, telling, explaining, and my old favorite, homunculisms. (On that note: Luna’s eyes are definitely not silver, as this story would have you believe. Also, there’s one line where they do three separate things, all on their own. Not silver, but definitely busy!) That said, the text at least looks nice on the page, and was free of typos and the like, so it’s got that much going for it. The only other thing I can say in its favor is at least Twilight didn’t win the contest by virtue of her love for Luna, because that would have been the moment I put it down and walked away.
Well, that was rather more review than I had planned for this piece. Honestly, it’s not worth it. It’s a poor shipfic centered around a time capsule of a relationship that other stories have done far better.
Not Recommended
Sometimes a Popsicle Is Just a Popsicle by Lurks-no-More
Reading by Captain Sand
Reading by Winged T. Spears
Reading by WhoLandon
Genre: Light Comedy
Princess Celestia agrees to taste-test a new series of popsicles based on Twilight Sparkle and her friends.
It should surprise no one that this story is pretty much just a setup for Twilestia-teasing jokes at Celestia’s expense. Everything from the title to the description to Celestia’s objections over Twilight-sicles drives that home. What it has going for it is some really good gustatory imagery, something you really never see. I was entranced by the ideas for these popsicles, they sound delicious, and I want to know where I can get some. D: While hardly a must-read, this is short as well as pretty inoffensive, if you don’t mind the fairly transparent jokes at the end.
Recommended as Light Reading
Ciphers by Grand_Moff_Pony
Reading by ABagOfVicodin
Patreon reward for Cerulean Voice
Genre: Romantic Tragedy
In a few hours, everything about her will be no more than a pretty facade.
This is a great piece, full of drama and romance and upper-class tragedy. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been peeking in on my parents’ Downton Abbey marathon all week, but I’m totally up for that. We get Fleur on the eve of an arranged marriage, barely pulling off the adoring trophy wife routine while desperately trying to hang onto the last vestiges of the life that once made her happy. She’s characterized well, and she’s got really good chemistry with the OC brought in to be her paramour. (Interestingly, it’s never said who she’s marrying.) If I have any criticisms, it’s that the dialogue tended to be explicatory, but that did serve the purpose of keeping things punchy. This could easily have dragged on otherwise. In the end, it was a very satisfying read, and I’m glad I was pointed towards it.
Recommended
Special Relativity by Melon Hunter
Genre: Comedy
After finding out she’s a member of the Apple family, Pinkie decides to dig deeper and see who else might be related.
This is a very pleasant read, with a very strong moral about the meaning of family. There’s a lot of funny bits and asides, and in the end, it gives us a really good look at what Ponyville is all about. That said, it’s not all great. The running jokes are not equally funny (the one about Lyra’s sister is awful, and though the strudel thing is a funny non-sequitur, it drove me up the wall), and I was rather put off by Pinkie’s characterization in the first scene. The way she sets everything in motion is just boneheadedly short-sighted, though at least that’s called out later in the story. Still, that sense of “what is family?” makes this worthwhile, if nothing else, and it is quite funny.
Recommended
The Faceless Pony by Thanqol
Reading by Solar Pony
Reading by Voiceguy
Reading by Crafty Ats
Genre: Horror
I have to admit to being really disappointed by this one, because I’d been looking forward to reading it since it was released. I mean, an original dark take on Vinyl Scratch? Sounds good to me! But something about the style felt off: it’s got that highly telly fairy-tale feel to it, and while I’ve seen that work for horror stories before, this isn’t one of them where it does. I honestly wanted it to be creepier, and I definitely wanted the ending to have something more to it, though all I can come up with is cliche and predictable. I can’t put my finger on anything, really. This might please fans of dark fics, but otherwise, it feels like a misfire.
Vaguely Recommended
Hyperportentia by MyHobby
Genre: Comedy
Acacia Tree, much to her displeasure, is the first seer born in Equestria in over half a century.
Do you remember when the nature of cutie marks, destiny and free will was one of the hottest topics in MLP fanfiction? Do you remember when seasons 4 and 5 killed that as an idea worth pursuing? If you miss those days, then feast your eyes on this puppy, one of the most fanciful and original fics I’ve read in a while. The characters are great, their circumstances are hecka funny, the setting is great. How often do you say that about a story, especially one set in a pre-established locale like Manehattan? But mostly, it’s just the idea of a pony who doesn’t want to be able to see the future learning something about the Destiny she thought she already understood.
Highly Recommended
The Lost Place by Martian
Reading by ShadowOfCygnus
Genre: Emotional
After no doubt failing her entrance exam to the School for Gifted Unicorns, Twilight finds herself in a strange, dark place.
A pony wakes up in a place of pure darkness; I’ve seen it again and again, and the pony is almost Twilight Sparkle. Yet that cliched opening is the last part of this story that can be called such. Twilight, for instance, is a filly. She wrestles with self-doubt, knowing full well she’s failed her test, while trying to figure out some way to make sense of the featureless black void. And then she does, and while I won’t reveal what she found, I will say it left me an emotional wreck. (Especially after watching the PMV linked in the author’s notes, ohh ;_;) This author has delicately blended two tropes into something greater than the sum of its parts.
Highly Recommended
Whoops, and here I would have thought I was up to date on basically everything MyHobby has posted.
The Lost Place looks interesting too.
If I had more time to kill I'm half tempted to give Moonlit Sparkles a read, because wow that review.
I have to admit, when I read "Special Relativity," I thought you were reviewing Naked Singularity, which you probably already have. I do believe I just nerd-derped.
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I think I overhyped it. :/ I mean, it really is just another bad shipfic, that happens to be six chapters long.
I am quite ready for a MLP Downton Abbey crossover. Write it please. Perhaps Celestia could pay the Crawleys a visit.
3358998
Nah, I dunno the show well enough.
Although I do know it would just be Maggie Smith being haughtily fed up with everything because she's the best Downton. :V
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"There's to be a horse at the dinner table? Will hay be served?" she retorted haughtily.
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This man, he gets it.
i.imgur.com/IJCE3or.jpg
PP: Thank you very much for taking time to read my story, and reviewing it too. I'm very glad you liked it! :)
Also, kudos to Cerulean Voice as well, for recommending it your way.
Woah! Thank you for the review and the recommendation.
I completely agree on the story being both a light read, and the joke being obvious. It was inspired by the cover image, after all. Still, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Though I'm open to the possibility that you are choosing your readings based on stories I highly recommend (which would be flattering :V) given that I have a tendency to go back and add in audiobook links after I post reviews. :B
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Yes, literally this. :B
3361062
CHEATER D:
DR. WOLF WINS BY DEFAULT :V
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i.imgur.com/aGSe0rN.gif
Am I the only person who feels weird when someone describes a story as "telly"?
Also, I know what you mean with season 5, but how did season 4 ruin the idea of cutie marks being tied to fate and destiny? Did these seasons fill in the blanks and eliminate delicious ambiguity or did they fuck it up so badly that everyone's too disgusted to touch the topic anymore?
3362123
I know, it's like calling it "Oscar" or "Grover", right? :V
Season 4 was Cutie Mark Magic, wasn't it? Or is that season 5? c.c I can't remember anymore, S4 is just a blur to me now.
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Well, it mostly makes me think we started talking about British TV out of nowhere.
The only thing with cutie mark magic I remember from either seasons is the thing with Glimmer's equalist town. Oh, and the fact that I guess the princesses lost their cutie marks when they gave their magic to Twilight in Twilight's Kingdom.
3362521
Yeah, no, S4 was Rainbow Power. I swear there was something about cutie marks in it, but I'm pretty sure that's all been S5. Not like this season hasn't been dragging on for two now anyway...