• Member Since 29th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen April 30th

KrishnaKarnak


We didn't start the fire.

More Blog Posts168

  • 369 weeks
    Phew.

    It's been a wild year and a half or so. Just wanted to stop by and say I'm presently still alive and am doing better, if anyone ever wondered to themselves, 'where did that Krishna dude run off to'.

    6 comments · 635 views
  • 442 weeks
    Another six days in the hospital...

    It's been a trip. That's the best way to describe it. I went back to work for a night and a half. Then it became very, very clear that I was only working because I wanted to, and not because I was in any way healthy enough for it. Just spent six very long days under 24 observation (144 hour observation technically). I'm safe to go home, but not yet in any condition to work. I'm not up to giving a

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    7 comments · 566 views
  • 444 weeks
    I lost my fight

    Someone close to me told me this isn't losing, but they say you're your own harshest critic. Last Saturday morning, my mental health decline hit what was rock bottom and, long story short, I put myself in the hospital. The only way to describe the last week would be 'exhausting'. The mental health care system in Newfoundland is barely functional at best and damn near non existent at worst... same

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    8 comments · 610 views
  • 449 weeks
    Alright, here goes

    The last thing I wrote and submitted to FIMFiction was on Christmas Eve, 2014. I wanted to try to return to WRTMI then, write another chapter or something before the big rewrite I wanted to do, but it just never happened. The only writing I did last year was basically some 4chan fetish crap, the entire time wanting to continue my main fic but feeling utterly incapable of doing so.

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    7 comments · 2,228 views
  • 450 weeks
    Some sort of update soon.

    Had a bit of a writing renaissance lately. Within the next few days, I'll try and give you guys some insight on what's going to happen. One thing that kept me writing in the past was how it used to bring me some comfort from my day to day life. As that disappeared, as did my urge and ability to write. I'm beginning to get something of a spark again, but I don't yet know if I'm going to finish the

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    1 comments · 419 views
Aug
21st
2015

Been on the road · 3:18am Aug 21st, 2015

Writing has been up and down. Bit of progress here and there, but none of it lightning fast. However, I have been writing, and writing a great deal unrelated to WRTMI, more on that later and miiight be long-winded.

Had a very busy two weeks, having a very busy two weeks to come. After I finished up my supervisor job, I was picked with two others and a lead hand to get sent out on a specialized job out of town, remerchandising, basically relining shelving, some stores in smaller communities in rural Newfoundland.

And when I say rural...

I.

Mean.

RURAL!

The entire time, I've been battling paralyzing tooth pain due to a pretty severe infection. Had to go to an emergency room in Bonavista, but the wait times were so unbearable long (6+ hours), I had to leave, since I had to work that night. I am so doped up on atasol and another painkiller, I'm barely able to walk and I absolutely cannot sleep most nights. I'm back in St. John's for the weekend, so I will see my dentist tomorrow for antibiotics and a proper painkiller perscription. Kinda don't want the infection to get into my blood; I enjoy having sight and two legs. Come Monday, off to Gambo (where my immediate family hails from! I get to see my grandmother, whom I haven't seen since 2012, currently in a care home after breaking her hip by standing up. And for a woman who is only around 90lbs-110lbs and approaching 90 in age... if not for this opportunity to travel out there for work, I doubt I would be able to see her again before her time in this world is done). I believe it is a smaller store than the first one, so we will try to stretch out two weeks of work there, so we get in our hours. The work isn't hard by any means and the crew we have is a gret one, but I'll be thankful to be without agonizing pain.

I've got most details of the first act of the WRTMI rewrite worked out. The story will primarily focus on RD and Scootaloo, as intended, but I'll also be telling the story of Grape Blossom and her friends and everything she went through before people met her in the first draft's Act 2, which I've been wanting to do as a separate fic for some time... she was always, always an important character whenever I thought of Act 2 as a whole, but she was often just... there. Well, I write this project whenever the mood and ability strikes, but I've been thinking a lot lately about doing something for this nearly barren FIMFic account of mine.

I've done tons and tons of short stuff for the /mlp/ 4chan spankophiles and many more for my own personal use that I could easily add to and migrate to FIMFic as complete stories, or even bring back and finish Bad Apples. I know spanking is not everyone's forté, but for me... see, it's hard to explain to people who haven't had similar experiences. I developed an interest or obsession in punishment at a very young age. It started from various cartoons I had seen (this, and this, and this, and dozens of others but I'm not linking them all, fffff), but just grew explosively. I was three years old and already getting strange feelings that would one day become a fetish that lead me to meet up with extraordinay people who have impacted my life in more ways than I can even begin to explain. It's given me wonderful friends, allowed me to understand my desire to be dominate and caring in the bedroom, but I've also spilled theraputic tears to ease guilty feelings. It has been recognized as a form of therapy in adults. It requires the same trust as BDSM. So, yes, I write it, and write it often.

People might scream that I was clearly sexually abused this way and according to this study or that study this is why I am as I am today and there are no other variables to consider and people will only ever turn out the way this study or that study says as violet criminals and everything is black and white! Was there some abuse? I wouldn't call it abuse. I love my mother with all my heart and soul, but I know some things she did were wrong. I don't blame her, she was an impoverished woman at her wits end with three children and I was a problem child with a learning disability and mild ADHD. The methods and anger were wrong, all wrong, and awful, but being disciplined improperly only made me realize the way corporal punishment should be carried out, as a last resort with the child fully aware of the consequences of their actions prior to whatever leads to it. And for fuck's sake, handled calmly.

So, if I do any for this site, it won't be a hot button issue like how I handled it in I'm Sorry, Sis: Scootaloo. Could even try requests, because I'm trying to use more interesting character combinations, though isn't always hard to find justifiable reasons for punishment... unless they're mature adults who are into it! As happy as I was with that fic (which I wrote in two and a half freaking days), I understand now the misteps I took with the narration... though I will not condemn RD's own conflictions, nor her actions.

It was never my intention, and won't be in the WRTMI rewrite, to have a RD tackle all struggles with ease and without doubt. I write her using my own experiences, and life is one fucking hard game. And she will be facing challenges, some easier than others. Will she be able to grow strong? We will have to see how she manages when we get there, whether she is whole or not. I think she's the most developed character from the show, she's been in my #1 spot the longest, and she's born awesome and I don't regret her as my pick as the character to face difficulties of caring for a troubled, difficult filly (though a couple years shy of a pre-teen in the rewrite, since my Scootaloo was always more cute than she was show accurate) while trying to balance building an emotional connection and relationship to a stallion. Let alone to a celebrity athlete who has more important duties to worry about than finding a girlfriend! Second-hand to the Wonderbolt Captain leaves a lot on his plate and he can only allocate what time he can to prepare the airshow, eh?

Still, I believe she has a shot at success to accomplish her goals and give Scootaloo a good life.

But now I am super tired and in alarming pain. I'm not even going to pre-read this blog, so apologies if there's typos or something out of place.

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