Site Post » SA Reviews - Round 70! · 10:50pm Aug 16th, 2015
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
“She sleeping?” Corejo asked, wiping his brow with a dirty forearm. He rested his arms on his shovel handle, leaning back against the cool wall of dirt.
“Looks like it,” Plum said. He looked up the hole they had dug, where the blue sky sat like the sun peeking through a hole in the clouds. If twenty meters of dirt could be likened to clouds, that is. “How the heck did C even get down here?”
“Magic, I think. At least, that’s what Squirrel said.”
Had he any shoulders on his plum body, Plum would have shrugged them. “Whatever. Let’s get her up.”
They shut the lid again and hauled CSquared and her coffin out of the hole, dropping it on the front lawn of the Seattle’s Angels Secret Underground Base and Treefort. The other Angels gathered around it.
Red Squirrel bounded up beside Plum as Corejo reopened the casket. “Hey you found her! That’s great to hear, and I’m in no way nervous about this turn of events!” He smiled a little too wide.
“I don’t see why you would be,” Plum said. “But I am a little concerned about how she ended up all the way down there. I thought we had the burial at the cemetery.”
Squirrel played with his ushanka on his head. “I thought we already established it was magic.”
“Well yeah, but why’d it have a padlock on it?” Corejo asked, grimacing at the chip in his shovelhead.
“Zombies,” Squirrel half whispered, waving his little paws in a wide arc.
“Well, she doesn’t look like a zombie,” Plum said.
Squirrel held up a finger at him. “You can never be too careful!”
“He’s right, you know,” Burraku Pansa said, swishing his panther tail over the side of his cloud.
“Right,” Plum said. “Well, let’s get her out of there. She’s got to be starving, and she smells like Squirrel’s armpits.”
”It was all Ferret’s idea!” He shot his hands in the air, then blanked. “Uh, I mean, you’re right. We need to help her out of there. Ferret and I can get that. You guys go on ahead and get to work on the next set of reviews.”
“You sure? I mean, we’re all here and—”
“Nope!” Squirrel shoved an adorable little paw where Plum’s mouth would be if plums had mouths. “You guys dug the hole, Ferret and I got this.”
“Well, alright, then.” They filed into the treefort, Squirrel doing his best to innocently gaze across the street.
When he no longer heard them, Red gave the Secret Underground Base and Treefort a cursory glance. Paws behind his back, he whistled an innocent tune, raised a foot, and slowly… gave the lid an adorable little nudge. It slammed shut, and he hopped up, slapping another padlock in place. He gave Ferret a rabid stare.
“You get the head, I’ll get the feet.”
“Okies.”
They hoisted up the casket onto their backs, and Squirrel was already in motion. “Come on! I know a place they’ll never think to look!”
ROUND 70
In a time long ago, a colt mistakenly found his way into the land of faerie. Faeries are wicked and cruel, and would keep him forever, if they could. They set three challenges before him, with his freedom as the prize.
Starting the reviews with a cracking story, Norse’s Trials was an entrance in the World-Building Alliance’s most recent writing competition, where it took second place. The prompt was “Fairy Story”.
This isn’t a fairy story.
It’s a faerie story. And it’s a damn good one at that.
The difference in spelling is a pretty important one. Instead of the Tinkerbell in Neverneverland-type archetype that one often associates with the word “fairy”, “faeire” is a word used to refer to the more Celtic ideas of magical non-humans. Faeries aren’t small, magical pixies who grant wishes. They’re mischievous at best, cruel more often, and only adhere to their own twisted, sociopathic sense of morality. To have the attention of a faerie means you’ve strayed far from the path, and you’ll struggle to make it back to the world you knew.
This is perfectly captured in Norse’s story, with (no spoilers) a very interesting twist towards the end, that could drastically change the way one views one of the major characters of the show. Fans of Mendacity should love this one, as well as anyone who ever read Lords and Ladies, by the late Sir Terry Pratchett. If you haven’t read either of those stories, slap yourself for being a silly sausage, go read them, then come back here and read Trials.
Because in The Trials Three, you’ll be glad you don’t believe in Faeires.
I'm glad to see the old traditions of the Fae making a comeback. It's not that I like fairies. Nobody in their right mind would. They represented the strange, chaotic, and amoral chaos that existed at the edge of human influence back in the days of campfires and iron spears. They are the temptingly beautiful destruction of rules and order. Everything we are, fairies are not. What could happen, you might ask, if a pony, who in the world of MLP are the literal masters of the world around them, came face-to-face with creatures who adhere to no rules or logic whatsoever?
NorsePony has knocked it outof the park answering that question with this story, in a strange, intelligent, and at the very end when the twist hits, revelatory portrayal of how something like the Fae might work in the world of pony. The tale of a colt trying to escape the clutches of a capricious fairy king hearken back to what fairy tales actually used to be, and the old magic comes through wonderfully.
It appeals to worldbuilders, readers who like to read about smart heroes, and fans of the magical and the weird in general. As my compatriot said, smack yourself for being a wacky walnut and go read this story if you have not.
STORY 2
To Be Evil, by 8686
Rogi had to hide another smile. Equestria was impregnable. This would be easy. He'd be done within minutes, and happily drunk within the hour. "Well, my Lord. How do you plan to proceed?"
And our second story is one by 8686! Man, we’ve recommended this guy so many times. It’s almost like he’s a good author or something…
To counter our earlier tale of a young colt’s attempt to escape evil, here’s a story about evil attempting to escape evil’s compulsions, featuring Rogi (an evil butler/hencheperson of an unspecified species, who is very fond of his new bike) and his master, Evil Lord Baron Dral’thor, who is a gargoyle, lord of his own country (population: two), and a baron, because he likes the way it makes his name sound. Yet try as he might, he’s not very good at the “evil” part.
Not for want of trying, mind. To Be Evil’s story revolves around Dral’thor’s latest attempt to prove himself as an evil overlord/master/baron/count/whatever takes his fancy this week. An enthusiastic amateur, who doesn’t appear to understand why he wants what he wants.
Funnily enough, Rogi’s character, particularly in the beginning of the story, feels almost as if he’s been lifted straight from Pratchett’s Discworld. At first, he seems almost one-dimensional, playing the part of a butler tired of his master’s ramblings, yet still polite and respectful of their wishes. Yet, as the story progresses, we see more. Nothing direct, mind. But it’s implied he’s been in a similar position to where his master is now. If slightly more competent at it.
Out of curiosity, I googled Dralthor. I found a DA account, where this was their only favourite. Odd.
This story also comes chock-full of references to previous villains’ attempts to take over the land of Equestria. If you enjoyed the original My Little Pony movies from way back in the 80s (back when dinosaurs ruled the earth), you’ll get an extra layer of enjoyment from this one.
As with all of 8686’s stories we’ve featured, this comes with my full recommendation. A damn good character story, with a damn funny ending.
Do you know how to write about OCs? Because this story, this story right here, is how to write about engaging OCs. We have the classic archetypes present: a bungling evil overlord who enjoys the idea of being evil more than actually committing to anything, and his much smarter assisstant who just tries to keep his boss (and therefore his own keister) out of the frying pan. Together, they try to figure out how to conquer Equestria without actually going to the trouble of doing it.
It's a hilarious story, and not just for the central conceit. Rogi the crow/creature/butler is a perfect foil to the harmless-but-earnest "evil" of his master Dralgor the gargoyle. There's a lot of back-and-forth, a lot of great comedic timing, and a hilarious ending to top it all off. For an exercise in deadpan humor and a good lesson in how to incorporate OCs into Equestria, read this story.
Once upon a time, Equestria burned in the fires of war. Now it falls to two sisters to reclaim what they can.
Behind door number three, we’ve got a third-place finalist in Obselescence’s More Most Dangerous Game competition, from earlier in the year!
The challenge of that competition was to boil down some of the fandom’s most (in)famous stories to their most basic forms, and provide a different take on that theme. Carabas chose Fallout: Equestria. So don’t expect a happy happy joy joy bundle’o’fun with this one. In fact, if you’re not a fan of the odd bit of blood, or aren’t on board with bittersweet endings, I’d advise you move on to the next fic.
That said, if you’re expecting this to be just another FO:E spin-off/clone, I’m afraid you’re quite wrong, here. For while it remains true to many of the central themes of Kkat’s story, the worlds feel quite different. Motion’s post-apocalyptic dystopia feels… well, many things. Barren. Empty. Desolate. And yet… hauntingly beautiful, and definitely not without hope. It could just be my love for this type of setting blinding me, but I found myself enjoying this one hugely. It’s a different feel of wasteland to the one in Fallout, however. There’s no retro-futurism here. No grand cities made of scrap, or underground bunkers filled with power armoured soldiers. The world of Motion gives me a feeling I last felt when in Metro 2033, when Artyom steps up into the outside world, for the first time in his life. How the world was dead, decaying, yet beautifully still, and deceptively stunning.
The story focuses around Rarity and almost-Rarity, with the former having been seriously hurt a long time ago, and thus relies on her younger sister for support. A situation she hates herself for, and, while she may protest otherwise, SB does almost silently resent her for it, in the back of her mind. The way the two play off each other in this fic is, if you’ll forgive the pun, nothing short of stellar. Combined with how they’ve developed as characters in the time between the end of the world and this story’s beginning, and you get a pair of characters that are both comfortingly familiar, yet refreshingly new.
The story is a tale of the two surviving together, and of both Rarity and Sweetie Belle trying to find hope in a dead, lifeless land. And it’s one I absolutely loved.
Best sisters
I'm a big fan of ponies in wastelands. I'm a big fan of wastelands in general. The stark, silent beauty of a land that is no longer bustling with mankind or even much life of any kind, the desperate, pure struggle for survival against unfair and insurmountable odds. It's the stuff that heroes are made of, and not always just the kind that save the world. Sometimes heroes are just the ones who endure where no one else would.
Enter Sweetie Belle and Rarity in this entry for the Most Dangerous Game Contest, an event you should feel bad for missing because it was a really good idea. Take a fandom trope and put a completely new spin on it—not just new window dressing, not just renaming Anon to Mark or making Littlepip an earth pony, but a whole new idea. The wasteland in this story has none of the ironic retro references, the gruesome gore, or the endless depravity you might find in other apocalyptic stories, but it still has a life, a freshness to it that I really wanted to see more of.
This is a story not just of a wasteland but of sisters, and the burden of caring for someone who can't quite do it themselves. It's not about saving the world, necessarily, but about the longsuffering love it takes to get to a point where you might think things will be better, some day.
Imaginative, bittersweet, and not long enough that it overstays its welcome.
Why do the breezies risk their lives for pollen of all things? Well, that's quite the tale…
And rounding things out with another WBAWC story! Man, we are going to upset so many people with these selections. This time, it’s the one that took first place. So you know it’s gonna be good!
Hmm
So yeah! Breezies! And it’s another fairy story. Except this time, it’s also a creation myth. And also it’s a papabreezie telling the story to babbybreezies, so there’s a bit of a Princess Bride vibe going on.
Featured here is some absolutely top-notch worldbuilding going on, a well done (if fairly standard) storyline, and a touch of comedy from the narration side of things. And weighing in at just over 1k words, it’s the work of mere minutes to read. Definitely worth the time
There’s not much else to say about this story, so have a thing
Another fairy tale—but one that is more about the "tale" than the "fairy." An excellent worldbuilding story that manages to tie itself neatly into the show with some interesting theories about the cosmology of the universe as a whole. You won't want to be spoiled, so I'll leave you to enjoy the magic of this story yourself!
All that really needs to be said is that this is the story of a father telling his daughter about the way the world works, in Breezie form. It explores how Breezies might view their tiny world as compared to the giants who surround them right outside that protective bubble, and why Breezies even have to go to Equestria in the first place. It's adorable, it's quick without feeling too short, and it has grade-A imagination to go with it!
Professor Plum rolled out onto the treehouse balcony, eager to finally have a moment to stand on the treehouse balcony, eager to get a head start on his sun tan. He took a deep breath of the beautiful afternoon air, letting it out, a not-smile brimming across not-lips. It died as quickly as it came at the sight of the lawn. Two giant mounds of dirt sat side by side on the lawn, patted down and covered with a pathetic layer of grass as if to try and hide the fact.
He looked around and noticed Red Squirrel perched on the railing. “Hey, Squirrel, why are there two casket-sized holes now?”
“I was looking for my acorn,” Squirrel said, gnawing on the plump little nut between his paws.
Plum raised an eyebrow at him. “I watched you pick that one from the tree out the window like five minutes ago.”
“Uh… Eh, heh.” Red Squirrel grinned, tugging at the fur of his collarbone. “Yeah, I, uh… I ate the other one already.”
“Uh huh. Then if you were looking for an acorn, why’d you dig another giant hole?”
“Hey, don’t question my nut-finding techniques. They’ve been passed down in my family for generations. I’ll have you know my great great grandmother planted yours!”
“Plums don’t have nuts. We have seeds.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Okay, okay, jeez. Don’t get your fluffons in a bunch.” He rolled onto the nearest adirondack chair, donned a pair of sunglasses, and pulled out his sun tanning reflector. “If any of the other Angels need me, let ‘em know I’m up here.”
“Alright. Just make sure you don’t prune. Wouldn’t want to have to bury you like C.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing.” He shot him a quick, innocent smile and then scampered into the treehouse before he could ask any more questions.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
That Breezie joke is pretty hilarious.
3324924
Yeah, those Breezies have some pretty bright ideas.
Holy shit is D actually posting these again?
~Skeeter The Lurker
3324975 I did today because I was around
3324975
He wrote the reviews, too.
3325172 Everyone knows I write them all anyway.
Normally I'd bitch about how long it took to post this review, as I'm wont to do (I mean, a whole fucking month! What the hell, guys?!), but this time I didn't mind so much. Turns out Hellfire Comms, BrainScratch Comms, and one or two other groups were running their Nintendothon charity stream over the last two weeks, and streaming video games for charity (the UK-based Mind charity) is way better than whatever the crap you assholes do.
Actually, the Nintendothon is going to run for a few more days to run their Incentive Block. So if you'll all excuse me...
i19.photobucket.com/albums/b191/fpsvandal/1255917219589.jpg
Dammit! How did I miss Fan Of Most Everything's story? I'm usually a fan of nearly everything he writes--plus it's got Breezies in it!
Thank you so much for writing the review, or this might have slipped under my radar.
3325238
In all fairness, we couldn't find one of our reviewers. I assume it's got nothing to do with the new mound of earth in the garden.
3325560
Just one mound of dirt? I'm checking the Group Members page against Alexstrazsa's blog, and there are a bunch of you who haven't shown up in the last ten review rounds, at least:
-alexmagnet (who I can only assume has succumbed to his deepest depravities and made a harem out of all his Trixie plushies)
-Pav Feira (who last I checked was
MIA or somethingarrested for making a 69 joke)-Burraku_Pansa (whose last round was... 61? Seriously guys, update all your Angellic Seattle shit. That stuff is infinitely more informative and valuable than the group folders.)
-Ambien (oh I'm sorry. I believe that's 'ambion.').
That's four of your, not counting Csquared (who's taking his sweet-ass time resurrecting).
3325622
Alex, Pav, and Ambion are all unavailable at the moment due to real life issues, and BP has been working on WRITE things and otherwise.
Csquared was originally due to be on this round. We drafted in Red to fill in a few days ago.
Again, the people with the account details for this thing are not available at the moment.
What is the source of the Best Sisters Rarity and SB pic?
Oh, so it's NOT 'Shining Armor Reviews'... Oh well
I expected The Trials Three to win that contest, actually. As for the other two, they're now at the top of my Read Later List. So, you know, within the year. Probably.
Much obliged for The Motion of the Stars' feature by the SA team. It's always an honour.
...so, wait, how does that even work- *tranquilizer dart* -aww, man, surprise naptime again. *thud*
Motion of the Stars was already on my list, but I'll add Flower's Dream now too. Thanks again, Angels.
3325622 See, this is why I love reading these reviews. They always make me feel better about myself and my own lot in life.