• Member Since 5th May, 2012
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Seraphem


Writer of kinky horse words, and less kinky comments that can be longer than some entire fics.

More Blog Posts84

  • 34 weeks
    New sequel is live

    So, after much teasing, much hinting, far too many delays, and a whole lot of IRL junk getting in the way, a new Kinky Luna fic is finally started. If you enjoyed Luna's trip to the Borderlands in Lunar Ravishing, get ready for round two as she heads back and accepts Gregor's invitation to his Slave Camp in Lunar Enthrallment.

    0 comments · 96 views
  • 76 weeks
    I'm not dead (and other news).

    Sooooo, yeah, I haven't really done much around here in some time, sorry about that. Combination of IRL stuff, moving, stress, and just general not having much motivation due to a number of factors, but I'm trying to work on getting back into things. So, where do things stand?

    Read More

    0 comments · 234 views
  • 115 weeks
    Fianlly! A new fic!

    So yeah, I've been saying this thing was coming for several months, but IRL just kept kicking my ass with stuff that kept me from focusing on getting it out, but finally the fic about how Starsong and Luna met in CTS is started! This is a collaborative writing effort with the always amazing Wendy Crescent.

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    0 comments · 268 views
  • 125 weeks
    Dramatic reading

    So the amazing Scarlett Blade has done a dramatic reading of Luna's Guide that you can find below.

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    0 comments · 237 views
  • 131 weeks
    Great little recording.

    So, recently a good friend from CTS, Chosen Heart aka Cinderscript, did a recording of Luna's letter to Twilight at the end of Guide.

    Read More

    0 comments · 318 views
Aug
9th
2015

Review: Bringing up Blueblood, by:InsertAuthorHere · 3:18am Aug 9th, 2015

Link

A sequel to My Little Alicorn, picking up right where it left off. Celestia has been returned to normal, but in trying to interrupt the ritual that restored her for his own petty ends, Blueblood ended up getting hit with the curse instead and turned permanently into a foal. At least, unless one of the Princesses decides to remove the curse. But he’s still guilty of very serious crimes against the Throne, so that would mean if he becomes an adult again, banishment from Equestria is the best he could hope for. Still Celestia is not unreasonable, and she does have fond memories of her nephew from when he was a foal, before he turned into the massive flank-hole he is now, so she is willing to give him a chance to prove himself worthy of a second chance.

In order to do so, Blueblood must face the greatest of trials. He must attend, Magic Kindergarten!

Story: The writing here is a marked improvement over the first one. While the first one managed to juggle numerous plot threads without feeling lost of bloated, it never really made them gel into one cohesive feeling narrative. The story felt unfocused. Here, it has far less plot threads, and the majority of them are focused around one thing, Blueblood. Either flashbacks of ponies remembering how he was, how he turned from a sweet young colt, into the massive unbearable, self-entitled prick he was now. Or on what to do with him now. On his chance to grow up again, to change who he is and redeem himself.

The first story had numerous things it was trying to by about, Luna and Celestia’s sibling rivalry and them getting over past insults to remember how much they really do love and care for each other. Celestia realizing the things she’d done wrong as Princess, ways she’d been failing to lead her little ponies right and questioning her choices. Dealing with the reveal of Kutchen’s actions, fate, and how even five hundred years later, he could still potentially be ab active threat. As well as other small things. It had no one real focus for everything else to grow from.

This one however, has one central theme, it is a redemption story. Blueblood finally seeing how wrong he’d been to think and act like he had, and seeking to redeem himself, to prove to others he has changed. Celestia potentially trying to seek her own redemption in part by helping him do so, redeem herself for failing to prevent his parents from twisting him into the monster he became. Especially after the realization of how it was her actions, or lack of actions, that allowed the culture of the nobility responsible for that attitude to thrive.

Even Luna trying to deal with whether or not some ponies are worth being redeemed, despite her own fall and redemption (But more on her later)

Yes there are several parts that aren’t all about that topic, but it is a central theme everything else grows from. With things not related to it being small enough they don’t distract, and most of those simply being tiny little follow ups to events from the first story.

That said, while the story is a massive improvement in terms of feeling much more focused and cohesive, it isn’t without it’s own problems. Still places that feel a little rough, not quite as polished as they should be. That feel more like they are there because the story says they are, then because they flow naturally. But they are relatively few. The continuity errors however, those can get rather annoying. Blueblood sneaks out his window to slip into an old archive room to verify something he had to know about the truth about his family’s past. That night bars are installed on his window to prevent him from escaping again. Fair enough. Except a few chapters later Blueblood is again looking over books from the archive, and wondering why if they won’t simply let him go there openly, they don’t do anything to stop him from sneaking in. Lie the bars they put on the windows to do just that. Or several issues between Shining Armor and Cadance. the occasional slips where they are refereed to as each others husband or wife, or other married terms despite this taking place before the wedding. Or the biggest ‘wha’? one for me. After the story made very clear they were avoiding any of the... more fun aspects of potential cohabitation before they were officially married, and that Cadance had her own chambers in the castle while Shining has the personal quarters of the Captain of the Guard.. The two have a fight, after which she forces him to sleep in the guard barracks, and then later on the couch for a few nights. Despite them clearly not living together.

Those out of the way, the story does have it’s great moments. The whole ‘kidnapping’ bit for one. When it first started, and I thought it was going in one direction, I pretty much facepalmed at it and thought the story was about to bottom out. Up til then it had been a mixed bag, better then the first, but with it’s own issues as well. Then the reveal of what was actually going on. I freaking loved it. It was an amazing twist, showed some great follow up to a part of the first story I really wished had had more follow up, made a massive amount of tiny things that had happened so far take on a whole new light, and gave the ‘bully’ of the school that till then was just your generic bully for the sake of bullying some actual explanation, and even a bit of a sympathetic light afterwards. It was just an all around great scene.

Same for the aforementioned fight between Cadance and Shining Armor. It was for legitimate reasons, not blown out of proportion, and actually handled reasonably. She was upset at him, but didn’t exaggerate things, didn’t make this out to be some massive drama filled issue that just got more and more contrived. She just made clear how disappointed with him he was, told him to give her some time alone to calm down, understood why he did it, that he was sorry and regretted it, and forgave him. It’s the type of thing that shouldn’t need to be praised, because it’s just basic common sense and how things should more or less go. But it’s so rare to actually see a legitimate fight like that between ponies in a relationship.

Overall, the story is a much smaller, much better focused narrative, that while not without some blatant issues and still being a tad rougher then it should be for how good the ideas are, is still a great improvement overall. That loses none of the originals charms and does a really great job following up on plot threads there, without getting overwhelmed and staying it’s own story.

Characters: Let’s start with the obvious one, Blueblood. I really really like how he was handled here. My biggest issue with him overall is more an issue with how he was set up in the first story. The whole wanting to raze a village for a minor insult by a few ponies living there. It just pushed him a tad to far in the ‘despicably evil’ territory. Especially given that one of the big points that makes him start to turn around is finding out his ancestors actually did do just that, only out of greed rather then revenge. It kind of lacks as much punch as it should. But, like I said that’s an issue with the first story not this one. In this one, he is really really well done. There is still a little bit of the last story’s uncertainty and jumping around, but only a little, and it feels more natural, more like somepony that simply isn’t sure himself how to feel, plus the whole dealing with his immature foal’s body messing with his emotions and self control. Having a pretty well defined arc.

Even better is how well the arc itself was played out. Him slowly realizing what was wrong, slowly coming to figure out how evil he’d been, how wrong, and in believable ways. His foal’s emotions making it impossible for him to have the same distancing, the same cold logical processes he used to rationalize his decisions before. His condition causing him to reflect back on when he was a foal, on how different he was then. Yet still having issues with it, not quite getting it for a time. one of the best points overall, was the theme of responsibility. that Blueblood’s biggest failing, the thing that was most holding him back was his inability to take responsibility for his actions. Even more so because the story sets up a very easy out for him and the story as a whole, just blame it all on his parents. But it never takes that route. Doesn’t use them as scape goats. Yes they are at fault, and the story makes no apologies for them, it makes it clear they were very very much in the wrong, and were the source of Blueblood being like he is. But it’s done as an explanation, telling why he is like he is, rather then using it to excuse his actions. in the end, he is still the one who choose to act the way he did. Overall, I really love his entire arc and how well the story pulled off making such a despicable character, one you.. if not exactly like and want to rot for, at least can sympathize with a little, and want to see get a second chance now that they realize what they’d done wrong, and truly do regret it and want to try to make amends as much as possible. All while not simply taking the easy way out in reaching that point.

The other main character of note I need to talk about is Luna. I, was not to thrilled with the Princess of the Night here. The story never really explained why she was acting like she was, why she hated Blueblood so much. It just, the intent was clear, but it didn’t quite make it clear enough to understand her. Her not believing Blueblood deserves a second chance, understandable. The lengths she goes to and how she goes about trying to prove that, not so much. Putting hot sauce in his oatmeal? packing him a lunch she knows he’ll hate, the whole Rarity issue, it was just so petty, spiteful, and nasty, it was hard to understand why she was acting like that, or how any of that could be connected to proving how he doesn’t deserve a second chance. Add in how she never does have an answer to “we forgave you didn’t we?” Though, while I still think the story needed to handle it better, there is something that, looking back now, could explain it. Do Princess Dream of Magic Sheep. Looking at the story with that episode in mind, it does offer a reason why. Luna doesn’t think he’s worthy of being forgiven, despite her being forgiven for far worse, because she also, deep down, doesn’t believe she is worthy of being forgiven either. She still hasn’t forgiven herself for what she’s done, so doesn’t see how he could be either. And while it doesn't quite forgive this story handling it less well then something like this deserves, the scene where she finally breaks down, where she finally realizes what she’s doing, where i breaks through and she has to confront her actions was extremely powerful and emotional and very very well done.

Also, quick bit about Cadance. I enjoyed her in this story so much. I’d say she has one of the best depictions of the Princess of Love I’ve seen in fics, except looking back I realize I really haven't read that many fics that have her in it in the first place, and this story made me want to change that. The story does a great job of making her kind, caring, compassionate, without feeling generic about it. making her feel like a well rounded character, who simply has those as her main points.

The rest of the foals I also liked, they did feel like foals, though not quite kindergarten age foals. They felt a little to mature and smart for that. Plus it makes no sense why a kindergarten foal would be sent on “Take your daughter to work day” and have to write a paper on it, when they are still learning how to write. It works for the joke of where Blueblood is being sent but, it really doesn't feel like a kindergarten outside of the lessons. The foals feel more CMC age, or more like a few years younger then them. Second or third graders. But minor note. They did feel varied, unique, and I do love the eventual development the bully got, that ties into the larger story, showing just how toxic the Canterlot Nobility’s environment was for everypony. How spoiled their foals, just led to an endless cycle.

Engagement: Much like the original, even when dealing with flawed sections the characters and overall fun of the story is enough to make you enjoy reading it. The stor0y doesn’t go into the darker territory the first did, being far less dire and a much smaller scale story. But no less engaging and worth a read for it. The style feels like the first, if more honed and with better skill at writing. The only major change if you enjoyed the first is the smaller scope, and focusing more on Blueblood then the Princess and Twilight. So it will all depend on how you view him how tied to the book you get. But even then the other characters are more then enough to be worth getting invested in.

Ponyness: Pretty much the same as the first one. overall it fits in well with the show, the characters all feel like themselves, and the world as a whole works more or less. Cadance’s backstory is completely wrong, but it was written before we had an actual backstory for her. For what we knew at he time, it works, even if it’s not one I really would have liked to be her real one, it does fit.

Again I really loved better exploring the fallout from Luna rant at the nobles and seeing how quickly they tried changing. While at the same time still being so set in their ways that the most ridiculous, idiotic things seem perfectly natural, because that’s simply how they’ve always done it. like the whole kidnapping plot. The shear absurdity and idiocy that thinking that was a good idea would entail actually works, and makes the whole scene all the more amazing. (The ‘popcorn’ pipe was a bit overkill in the ridiculous department. Should have used a bubble pipe, would have been funnier.)

The story still manages to fuze the darker, more serious aspects from the original, while downplaying the darker parts this time, with the fun, lighthearted nature of the show. Keeping things just ridiculous enough at times to feel like it belongs and delivering a very ‘pony’ feel to the story.

Overall: Great. The story is an overall improvement on the first one. The story is more focused, has a more consistent tone, a more defined character arc, while keeping the great bits about it as well. Just an all around better crafted narrative. Though not quite enough to get bumped up higher. While Alicorn was on the lower end, this one is near the high end. Just not enough to rate higher. The story is different, more personal, smaller scope, no great threat to Equestria, no danger to anypony but Blueblood, and that only as a consequence of his own actions. But the story still has it’s faults. Some plot holes. Like why the story treats Shining as being to hard on Blueblood, despite him not really doing so, and even going out of his way to give him encouragement, while never seeming to harp on him at all or treat him in anyway more harshly then the rest of his troops. (And how somehow it’s all part of his plan with Luna to make sure Blueblood suffers, yet him doing this was Celestia’s idea.) Luna’s actions needed to be better explained, and it has several altogether minor continuity flubs. But those flaws are easy to get past. Luna’s overall emotions and thoughts are easy enough to understand, just not why she took the actions she did to further them, and it led to a really amazing pay off when she finally realizes what she’s doing. But it also provides a great look and examination of how parents can influence their children, how important teaching them right can be. Without excusing someone’s actions simply because of their parents raising them wrong. And has a really well done character arc for Blueblood as he truly does reform and seek to change who he is.

Plus the twist at the end to lead into the sequel was worked in a lot better, and rather subtly as to just how huge a deal this was. My first reaction was “Huh, that interesting, so she’s related to this other characters’ family.” Then set down the book (okay Kindle) and went back to work. About ten minutes later I stopped and went “Holy shit!” as the full implications of that reveal hit me. (To bad said sequel appears dead)

Still can’t find a good way to close it out, so have a sequel to last reviews video.

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