Sensation - "Perfect" vs. "Done" · 6:41pm Aug 2nd, 2015
Hey.
So, I'd hoped to get chapter 26 posted today. I tried really, really, really hard. I've spent a lot of time (probably more than is healthy) these past few weeks getting it written and typed and edited, and in fact, the whole thing is already written up and proofread. It's just that, frankly...
...it's not any good. It's not up to the quality that I want it to be, nor what you guys deserve, and I'm not satisfied with it. It's not even that long of a chapter, comparatively, but for whatever reason, this one's just been a huge struggle to get anywhere on, and now I'm left arguing with myself about whether it's better to just post it and move on or to make everybody wait for even longer, which sucks especially hard because I desperately want to get back to posting a new chapter every 2-3 weeks so it doesn't just wither away.
I see a lot of people posting stories – really high-quality stuff – with regular updates, and I can't help but marvel both at how quickly they can churn these things out. I don't understand how people do it so quickly, and it makes me feel pretty inadequate that I can't stay on top of something that I care about. I recognize that this is a pretty destructive line of thinking, so I'm trying to be mindful and stay off of that track, but it's hard sometimes, you know?
And really, there isn't even a question of what I'll do. For a number of reasons, this story is incredibly important to me, and I can't live with putting out something I'm not proud of. Unfortunately, this means more delays, and for that, I'm super sorry. There are a million things I want to work on (publishing the worksafe version, rewriting the first few chapters, Firestreak's side story, etc), but with only a couple hours a day a few times a week to work on it, I don't know how else I can manage my time.
Sorry, this turned into a rant real fast. Quick, Braeburn! Do something sexy!
There we go.
I guess that's all there is to say, really. I'm doing my best, and I hope it's good enough. Words of encouragement would and are much appreciated.
Also, I don't really have an editor anymore, so if you would be interested, let me know.
Thanks, everybody.
~Vivid
At the risk of making myself sound more fanfillyish, i would like to say it is well worth the wait, imo.
I don't know what you are reading, but i keep finding huge potential with low quality.
Keep up the good work.
Don't worry about the time out takes. And comparing your work my writing level, your pretty much a master
Just relax everything will be alright! You can push it though!
Try asking other writers for advice on how you can have high-quality writing with regular updates. Maybe? I'm pretty sure there are writers on this site that'll help you with your writing.
Please don't worry about us too much. I don't want you to get overly stressed about your writing like how I get stressed about my art. Okay?
I hope you can find a new editor.
I think you're making the right choice. What matters most is that you create something you love, something you're proud of, and that shouldn't be measured by how quickly you can release new chapters or how long your eager fans will have to wait for the next installment. I've found recently that at times you can work on something for weeks, spend all your time on it and get nowhere, if you're not quite sure how to get to the result you seek. it's a harsh reality but try and distance yourself from it for a bit, direct your focus elsewhere, then come back to it later with a fresh look and try and determine what you want the chapter to be and how to get there. Improve it one step at a time.
There are always going to be other artist, sharing in your talent, other authors who write high quality fiction, that will release works faster. be it because it comes more natural to them, because they're more experienced, perhaps they have more time, or they consider good good enough and may not bother with that extra layer of polish. I know it's difficult not to compare oneself to those we look up to, and perhaps it's not something we should avoid. But rather than having it be a destructive train of thought of I'm not as good as them, it's a goal to strive towards. Surely they've stood against similar challenges and difficulties and got to where they are through their passion, talent and what they managed to learn from their peers. You're an amazing author, you've proven that over and over with the chapters you've released to date. Don't let a single chapter that doesn't meet your standards make you lose track of that. We'll wait patiently, though we might like to whine and/or complain from time to time.
I'm not much of an editor, I don't quite know how the average reader would interpret a story, or what they'd be looking for, but I wouldn't mind going over some of your writing to at least give a first impression.
Stare at that sexy Braeburn. Smile. See you smile grows. And you remember how life is good and how easy it is to forget it.
But seriously, who can be mad at you for not releasing chapter every two weeks? The last chapters were some of the best i've read in ages, and the wait was worth it, so worth it.
The only judge of your work are readers. It's very common for autors to think that their work isn't good enough. Whatever how many times you say to someone his work is good, it's really hard to believe it. But you can see by yourself on this page how many people love this story and what impact (visible or not) it could have on their own work (i do, if i never say before). Statistics are just a thing, i will never stop to say to any fanficer i met how this story is underrated regarding to it's quality.
I'm glad with all the things this story gave me, things that you sure know. On my work of writer for MLP Fictions, i could have all the good reviews and good statistics in the world, it would never replace the real things that gets out of it, the ones you can see out of the pony world. I send you all the digital hugs and words of encouragement i'm unable to say in the short space this website gives me.
Smile smile smile!
Dude, don't sweat it. Release it to the wild whenever it's finished, and not before.
What are you looking for in an editor? I do some technical writing on the side, and used to work as a script punch-up writer in LA... If it's basic syntax, flow, and error correction, I'd be happy to help... Drop me a message if you need me.
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Thanks, buddy. I'll do my best.
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I really appreciate that. Also, thanks for the fave.
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Please don't get too stressed about your art. It's really not a great place to be. Thanks for the encouragement, though. I'm trying more regularly scheduled writing times, so hopefully that will help.
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Thanks for the perspective. I don't know that I'll be able to keep it the next time one of these little crises of faith in myself flares up, but I'll try.
I'll let you know about the editing. Once I finish this chapter, I'll probably want another set of eyes on it (and future stuff, too).
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Braeburn certainly does an excellent job.
Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you've enjoyed the latest chapters, and your encouragement means a ton.
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If I were actually capable of following this advice, 90% of my problems would disappear.
Thanks for the vote of confidence, though.
I'll let you know when this chapter's done. Mostly, I'm looking for general impressions, but copy editing would be MOST welcome. I haven't had another author proofread my stuff for many chapters. Hopefully it hasn't shown too much.
3293451 i'd have done it sooner, but life got in the way (finals,moving, projects, etc) and i forgot. It's a really well written story.
I meant to comment on this blog when it came out, but I read it on my mobile, where typing is a bitch and I have the attention span of a small rodent.
So sorry for the late reply! 
I totally understand what you're going through, though.
Writer's anxiety, often misleadingly called writer's block, is a definite bitch. It's the kind of bitch that keeps egging you on at the bar, but you don't want to punch her in the face because what if she's stronger than me and makes me look like an idiot, also I'm enjoying this Corona and I don't want to waste the lime on her eyes, so fuck you, Candy, I quite like my tacky T-shirt! But enough about me.
Anyhoo, in my experience, the best thing to do with writer's anxiety is to punch Candy in the face anyway—push through, do what you need to do, even if it's painful and you have to buy another beer (or five) to deal with the aftermath. Your problem isn't the most common manifestation of writer's anxiety though—you already have something written. Well, that's half the battle. You've swung already. Now you just need to aim. And it's a hell of a lot easier to do that with a bunch of words than exactly no words. So know that you're ahead of the game than a lot of us.
Now, I can guarantee that your chapter isn't completely horrible. There's something to salvage, even if you have to cut a lot around it. Focus on that—on isolating and expanding it. Then repair the rest. As Stephen King said, write with the door open, edit with the door closed. A.K.A. push on when you write, let it flow, then go back and criticize it later. Sounds like you've done both already, but know that you can reset that cycle at any time. Don't be too hard on yourself and throw away what is recyclable. Mother Earth hates that, and you don't want to piss her off, do you?
Anyway, regarding updating speed... Honestly, don't worry. If your readers are interested, they will wait. I should know. I've been awful to some of my readers before on this.
For the most part, you might have one or two dropping off, but those will probably be the same two who dropped because you included Pinkie, or didn't describe the sex enough, or didn't make that fandom reference, etc. A.K.A. the same folks who will stop reading over a few extra weeks or whatnot probably aren't that invested in the story to begin with. Sad, but true. So take your time and do you, because the readers who really are eager will wait. They'll wait, and they'll be happy when you give them what they've been waiting for.
I hope you're feeling better, because you deserve to.
As for the editor role, I would take a look at the groups on my page. There's lots of editors sitting around with lots of time on their hands in those groups, and, if you're in luck, there might be a couple who are already reading Sensation.
Hope this helped, and keep being awesome!
derpicdn.net/img/2015/7/17/938745/large.png
When in doubt, look at cute pone.
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Dude, I am going to FUCK CANDY UP!!! *smashes prop glass on a table* RARRRGH!!!
Thanks for the pep talk, Bad. Yes, that helped tons. I've never heard the term "writer's anxiety" before, but I absolutely, ABSOLUTELY think it's a better fit than writer's block. It's not that the words don't flow, it's that my inner editor is hovering over my shoulder and saying stuff like, "Wow, that's the best you could come up with? You do realize your readers have come to expect more, right? I mean, if you don't have any ambitions anymore, then I guess it's fine." And that leads to the words becoming a trickle instead of a flow and then they get harder and harder to force out and yadda yadda yadda you probably already know this but dude is it ever therapeutic to type out sometimes.
Based on your reaction to the latest chapter, though, I'd say I'm pretty awful.
(Side note: Candy was the name of the woman that married my uncle and then divorced him, taking most of his stuff, so good job picking a name that invokes a massive bitch.)
I think the update speed is still going to get to me for a while, at least until I can devote more time to these horse words. I was just telling my husband (never gonna get tired of saying that!) that I'm excited to get the house all squared away, because then things can finally normalize after four months of constant change. I eventually want to get a few chapters ahead, and by the end of the story, I hope I can post the last five chapters within a couple weeks of each other. I... kinda have this dream where I can post a journal telling the readers that it's ending and when the last word is going to be published, and then the readers get excited and read it as soon as it comes out and the leave feeling like it was worth their time and that they've gained something from the story of these two little ponies. I've been chasing that dream for over a year, and I hope so, so much that it comes true, even if it's just a few people reading it by the end.
I certainly am feeling better, Bad, in no small part because you and everyone else has been so supportive. I've said it many, many times, but I'll say it again: the Brony fandom is the most supportive, caring fandom I've ever been a part of, and I'm so happy I decided to just watch "just one more episode, no, really this time." Thank you for being so kind.
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I've never met a woman named Candy who was good news. After hearing your story about your uncle, I guess I continue to be right in that matter...
And you're quite welcome! I'm glad my little ramble helped you!
And yeah, I know exactly what you mean about the "inner editor" and all, but damn if it isn't therapeutic to write! You're spot-on in that regard.
Congrats again on the husband and the house!
It's good to finally get settled in and get your schedule back to normal, isn't it? I sure think so. 
But hey, I'm telling you this now... your readers (myself included) will be excited to see the last few chapters of this story, so you have nothing to worry about. Your dream will come true!
This fandom really can be caring, loving, and supportive. I'm so glad I gave it a chance, and a second as well. Hope you keep having these awesome experiences, my friend. :)