Table Top Game Rant: Age of Sigmar

Let's talk mini wargames.

I've been dwelling on whether or not to write this rant for a few weeks now. Those who know me on the Lunaverse forums know that I've done some mini-rants on this topic on the open general discussion thread, where I've just been firing off my thoughts as I reacted to each announcement that came down the pipe. But, after a few weeks of releases, watching video battle reports, and mulling over both rule and setting changes, I've decided to just get everything down in one place.

So, what mini-wargame am I talking about? Warhammer Fantasy and its...replacement...Age of Sigmar. Fair warning. You are about to see some of the darker sides of my personality on full display and I do not freaking care.

I hate this damn thing.

A little bit of context seems in order.

Coming into a Hobby

My journey into the Old World of Warhammer Fantasy began about fifteen years ago, deep in the social Bataan Death March that is high school. It was a lazy summer afternoon when one of my friends approached me, the kind of summer where little was accomplished during the day and everyone was just fine with that fact. Having already gotten into D&D a few months before (though the iconic AD&D Monstrous Manual and its eye catching illustrations), my heart skipped a beat at what he had to tell me.

There was a gaming store in town.

Eagerly we set out to the place called Imagination's Edge on foot. The building that it existed in still exists in my home town today. It was a small retail space, more long than wide, but the owner made it work, with two gaming tables squeezed into the back of the space, and the walls covered with racks of merchandise. And it was at one of those tables that I saw my first game of Warhammer Fantasy. Orcs and Goblins vs Chaos. I watched, enthralled, as two guys pushed blocks of fantasy warriors around the table. The highlight of that particular match was watching a massive, blood soaked greater demon, roll ten 1's on his attack dice, to get overrun and dragged down by a mob of goblins.

Khorne's followers apparently had a cold that day.

As drug dealers say, "the first one is free", and this was some powerful, powerful smack to be sure. Soon I was collecting and painting up a chittering horde of verminous rat men in the Skaven. My friends picked their own armies and soon the Skaven, Orcs and Goblins, Undead and Bretonnia (Arthurian french knights) were clashing in the attic of my house, now a gaming room. Those were very fun days, even when we broke down into arguments about rule interpretations. These were some fun times in my life and a very welcome place of respite from the bullying I dealt with on a weekly basis at school. Gaming and the creative arts have always been my happy place when things were bad. In my mind's eye, those games we played are part of their own little narrative. Four armies with their named generals fighting over a section of land, each trying to stake their claim in the world.

But seasons and people change, and now that I look back upon those changes, it reflects what would eventually happen to Warhammer Fantasy in general....

The End of All Things Warhammer

People come and go out of hobbies and fandoms all the time, and everyone has their own reasons.

In my case, my Warhammer playing days were destroyed by a nasty one-two punch. The first was that my group of friends shattered towards the end of high school, with everyone going their seperate ways for reasons that- if I'm honest- I still don't entirely understand to this day.

The second was that my gaming store closed down. Without a central location for the larger war-gaming community to meet up and play at, the local scene went into decline for many years, until a new store opened up. But by the time it did, the scene had changed. The ranks and magic of Fantasy were out, and the guns and psychic power of 40K were in.

While I did get involved in that I ended up falling out of the hobby pretty much for good, as I went to college, and have been looking for a career since and just haven't had the money for the hobby anymore. Games Workshop's products were expensive back when I had no financial obligations, but they just got worse as time went on. In my lifetime, I have watched GW's prices for their minis effectively double. I still kept tabs on the setting itself though. I bought the roleplaying books that were released, and kept up with the novels. It was a familiar home to come home too.

But it seems that my story got repeated again and again through the years. According to some people, sales of Warhammer Fantasy dropped from anywhere to 5-15% of all sales, with Warhammer 40K making up most of everything else. And so, the decision was made from on high. It was time to start over with Warhammer Fantasy.

It began with the End Times, a series of five books (at 80 bucks a pop) where the setting was systematically destroyed. Every established country was burnt to the ground. Almost every named character was killed in battle. And that was before time and space completely fell apart when the world was eaten.

The books are, frankly, a complete narrative mess. Characters and plot threads get introduced and framed as being important vanish from the next book without so much as a comment. The ongoing slog of sheer misery became an ongoing grind as every icon of the setting was ground under the iron shod wheels of grimdark derpitude.

I suppose that, in some ways, I should have seen it coming. Even outside thew table top realm, Warhammer 40K's star rose past its older sibling, with the very excellent Dawn of War series of games. Where as Warhammer Fantasy had an MMO that World of Warcraft killed with a casual backhand.

But, there was a glimmer of hope, a fools hope, based on the last line, of the last End Times book. A line about how while it was a time of endings, it was also a time of beginnings. But with each release, each trickle of information, a growing sense of grim resignation settled in the pit of my stomach. Gone was the fantasy setting that kept one foot in a historical background and in its place was something that looked like it belonged more on the side of some 80's hair metal van. Cosmic fantasy, I've heard some of the games defenders call it, like it is somehow tapping into the legacy of Jack Kirby.

Though, the comparison to mister Kirby's work isn't entirely without merit, as it feels like the set up of Thor. Nine realms, each one based on a different school of magic (plus the Realm of Chaos to make nine), connected by magical gates that woosh people from realm to realm. Gone are the ranks of state troops that look like they could have stepped out of Renaissance Germany. The replacement human faction- towering slabs of muscle and plate, that look like they belong more in a sci-fi game- even appear on the battlefield with bolts of lightning. And just to ensure that the new creation has absolute trandemarkability, every fantasy race has been renamed. Dwarfs became duardin, orcs became orruks, ogres became ogors, giants became gargants and elfs became....aelfs.

Pictured: New aelf lord, with enchanted far-talker.

The Dawning of a New Age

The consternation and debates within the hobby have been bitter and they have been severe. The fanbase is broken on a whole new level.

For some, Age of Sigmar is a breath of fresh air. They cite the fact that it is quick to play, has a potential lower buy in cost, and fewer models to paint. They defend accusations that the game has no tactical depth by pointing out that movement has become even more important than in the old game. Many have said that this has brought them back to Games Workshop, having moved away from the company years ago.

For others, the new game is an abomination. They point to the simple four page rules as being broken. They point out that the game has no means to balance the size of armies, as the rules state that both sides just choose which figures to take, and there is no upper limit to how many minis you can have in a unit. They look at the combat and say that it all bogs down into one massive tarpit mob in the middle of the table.

Despite my comment back at the start of this ramble, I sit in an odd place. While I would have missed the old ranked up units, I am actually not so negative about the changes to the rules. Making smaller sized forces viable in a skirmish setup could have gotten me back into the game and collecting armies outside my Skaven. Had Games Workshop been even smarter, and made the rules almost tierd in nature, so that you could rank up and fight old school Warhammer battles, it might have been a perfect solution for the rising starter costs of getting into the hobby.

But none of the rule stuff matters if its tied to a setting that's garbage. Age of Sigmar is too over the top, and too ridiculous to me. None of the realms have the verisimilitude of the Old World. I can't picture how normal people go about their days in the Realm of Fire, the Realm of Beasts, or the Realm of Death. It is a situation made all the worse by the now seemingly unending nature of the conflicts, compared to set wars and "historical" conflicts of the old setting.

And yet, I know that the old setting isn't coming back. Games Workshop once boasted in a report to their share holders that they don't do market research. They make what they want and just throw it out there. The company has truly become the stereotype of the evil corporation, that does whatever it wants, striding forward into the future with the decision to become the Apple Computers of the mini-wargaming world.

And I hope that they choke on that decision.

Without any trace of of regret, I hope that Games Workshop goes down in flames. I have grown tired of watching them engage in their price gouging and complete mishandling of one of my favorite fantasy settings. A tired resignation has settled into my heart at their trigger happy tendency to sue anyone that even wanders within a mile of their IP. Recently, they decided to try and sue everyone who had used the term Space Marine. Got slapped down for that one they did. I am done with the company at a whole new level, of just complete and utter frustration.

For those who like Age of Sigmar, I wish them well. I will never say that someone is wrong for finding joy in a game or hobby that they play. May your games be intense, and your dice always show sixes...except when you don't want them too.

But for those of us who like the old setting, is there any hope left, aside from playing the old editions of the game? Can we get our fix of ranks of soldiers, weapons gleaming in the sun, and colorful regimental banners rippling in the breeze?

Well.....

Truly, there were the End Times.

But they were also the beginning of Warhammer in a digital age.

Comments

[RainCrasher]

-Raises Dark Angels Banner from Warhammer 40k- Atleast warhammer 40k is nowhere near this point. then again I think GW would have a riot if they did.