The new story

(I called this blog post 'The new story' because the name will be changed from Brothers and Sisters to something else.). Brothers and Sisters chapter one is in progress but will definitely take a long time. I am hoping to make each chapter over 1000 words, but am not making any promises because if it needs to end it will end. I sometimes feel as though some writers cram a whole load of stuff into their chapters to make them longer and, while it can work sometimes, the stories end up over exaggerated and hard to follow so if one of my chapters is short that is because it needs to be. Any way, enough of my rambling, I am putting in a section of the other chapter, it isn't long but constructive criticism is welcome

It should have been beautiful; it probably was, before all this. Things like this rarely happened in Equestria, raging fires popping up from nowhere. Luna was glad she was still small enough to hide under her Mother's protective wing. This village scared her. All the death and destruction; no reason, no survivors. That was when she heard it. The noise, the groaning, the pitiful moans. Slowly Luna floated ( walking was for people with no imagination) over to the source and immediately recoiled. It was not that he ( it ?) was ugly, it was just not what Luna had expected. The creature was coiled in a small ball, its misshaped limbs curled around itself in a pitiful effort to keep warm. It wasn't working and she saw shivers racing over it. This creature was obviously was not a pony and Luna should be telling her parents, but something about this creature intrigued her. Was this animal the cause of the fire? Luna was sure that was not the case. So what was it doing here all alone and, more importantly, why was it not harmed by the devastating fire?

That's really all I needed to tell you so, bye.