Sneak Peak of My Fair Draconequus: Chapter 4 · 7:45pm Jul 24th, 2015
I promised you guys a sneak peek today of the next chapter. Its still in first draft stage and not quite complete so I apologize for spelling errors and other problems that will be present in its raw state. I generally just write my first drafts straight though from beginning to end before I make any revisions and I usually don't share anything until the second draft but I wanted to show you I am indeed working on my stories again.
I don't want to give away what happens in the chapter exactly so I'm sharing part of the opening:
Twilight Sparkle brightly performed a parade trot at the head of her group as they entered the cloud city race grounds. She held her head proudly despite all of eyes peeking at them from under their fine hats.
“Now, remember Discord, we are going to be in the Princesses’ private box so you have to remember everything I taught you perfectly.” The alicorn glanced behind to make sure the others were keeping pace.
The Dranconequus in question crossed his arms and rolled his eyes as the eyes of the ponies surrounding him. The entire Mane 6 and Spike were dressed in finery in honor of the charity race and he sported a simple bright polkdotted bow-tie.
“Y’know Twilight, I think you’ve said it enough. Even I’m getting tired of your lecturing.” Rainbow Dash tossed her mane and flew up eye to eye with the Dranconequus. “We might now be the best of friends but I’m kinda feeling sorry for Discord if that’s all he’s been hearin’ for the past week.”
“Yeah, Twilight, how is he supposed to have any fun.” Pinkie Pie blinked in confusion.
“This event isn’t about fun.” The mare turned to face all of her friends. “This is about raising funds for all the unfortunate fillys and colts in Equestria and so its really important that it work out for the best.”
Applejack straightened the rim of her hat, which Rarity had convinced her to adorn with roses in honor for the event, and sighed. “Look Twi, Ah know this is important and all but ya might be getting’ a mite carried away.”
“While I appreciate the concern I don’t need it.” Discord straightened the tie. “I know I’m going to impress everypony. I don’t want to look like a fool anymore than Twilight does. Remember I have a bet to win!”
“And I have a race to win!” Rainbow Dash did a loop to emphasize her point.
“While all of this is fascinating I think that Apple Jack and I need to get to the booths. We need to make sure that the sales run smoothly.” Rarity nodded to her counterpart.
“Yeah, the Princesses askin’ us to run the booths and souvenirs is a real honor. We’re not lettin’ those colts and fillies that need the proceeds of those sales.”
“Yeah, I’m helping out too still, right?” Spike stammered.
“Of course Spikie-Wikie” Rarity pinched Spike’s cheek as hearts filled the dragon’s eyes. “Come now!
“Yes, you too, Rainbow Dash. You need to check in for the race.” Twilight nodded to her.
“I know! I’ll see ya later with the trophy!”
“Go, go Dashie!” Pinkie Pie cheered. Dash burst away leaving Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Fluttershy with Discord. “I wonder if there will be anypony else you know in the race Fluttershy. I mean, besides those ponies that made fun of you as a filly!”
Discord frowned and raised an eyebrow. “There are ponies here that made fun of you Fluttershy?”
“Oh that was a long time ago…” Fluttershy giggled nervously.
“Oh really? I thought they gave you and Dashie both trouble last time we were here and-” Twilight Sparkle stuffed her hoof in Pinkie Pie’s mouth with and awkward smile.
“None of that is important right now.” Twilight laughed as she wiped off the Pinkie slobber from her hoof. “Princess Celestia is expecting us.” She turned with a grin plastered on her face and began walking again. Shrugging the others followed.
When they approached the guards at the entrance to the Princess’ box they gazed up in bemusment at Discord.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle is here along with her three guests!” The alicorn smiled at the guards snapping them out of their shocked silence. They moved aside their standards letting the small party through. Twilight silently nodded at Discord.
The Draconequus disappeared and reappeared in front of a gapping Celestia. “Princess Celestia!” He rose up producing a boquest of flowers. “How kind of you to let me come!”
“Actually, this is unexpected.” Celestia laughed and took the flowers as Twilight giggled in delight.
“I wanted to show you how wonderfully my lessons with Discord are going. He’s learning to be a perfectly behaved gentlecolt and friend. Naturally, its nothing special thanks to my persuasive Princess of Friendship abilities.” Twilight grinned uncomfortably.
“Yep! We all helped too!” Pinkie shouted.
“Yes, the girls and I have worked extra hard to make sure Discord never causes problems in Equestria ever again. You put him in good hooves.”
Discord frowned slightly until a gentle hoof rested on his side. “Yes, Discord has been working very hard.” Fluttershy smiled up at her friend.
“Well he is most welcome in the Royal Box,” Celsetia nodded to them each in turn as they entered. “Twilight, may I have a word with you?”
That's it for now. I'm aiming for next Saturday for release of it and if all goes well I can make it happen on that day.
So everything is going perfectly. I am sure nothing bad can happen
*sees the Doom clock beginning its countdown*
Yup, absolutely nothing bad can happen
*hears Pinkie mention some colts that hurt Fluttershy*
I'm sure that will in no way what so ever lead to a comedic turn of events. *anticipation don't fail me now*
But, all jokes aside, I do like this preview. It continues the set up really nicely, sets the pieces of the dominos all in a row so they could topple over at any given point in time (rise the audience's expectation and then let it linger like fine cheese) and not to mention that all characters are expertly done. Again, this feels like an episode from the show, which is what I love about your work. Can't wait for the upcoming chapter. Stay awesome