Who Builds "The Iron Horse"? Meet the Editor! · 10:15pm Jul 19th, 2015
Since "The Iron Horse" is coming up on 20 chapters (well, technically it already has, if you count the short fake-out chapter), I thought I'd post a blog to discuss the contributions of my collaborators. This first one is about my editor, GaPJaxie!
The Great and Powerful Jaxie!
You may or may not know who he is, but he's actually got quite a following: 1115 followers. And a feature on Equestria Daily. He's best known for a story called Siren Song, which is an MLP/Bioshock crossover, although honestly it's less a crossover and more "How Bioshock would work if it took place in Equestria." I'm still reading it myself and it is a grisly read, but wholly engrossing. Click on the cover image if you want to give it a look!
We first met because Jaxie reviewed "The Iron Horse" in quite a lot of detail. At that point, I'd just gotten through Rainbow Dash's arc and his assessment was that the story was "Average." Sure that stings a little, but he had some good points and suggestions on what might make the tale a little better. He agreed to look at an upcoming chapter, what eventually became "In Two Minds, Part 1," and gave me some suggestions on what might make the story flow better and also on being more descriptive. This wasn't always easy medicine to take... once upon a time I was a big shot in another fandom who didn't need anyone's help. But only a fool turns his nose up at free advice from the voice of experience, so he agreed to look a chapter over.
He agreed to help out, but said he couldn't be my main editor. And then he agreed to look at another chapter. And then another. Aaand he's pretty much fallen into the job anyway.
What has been the result? Well, I think the later chapters are a lot smoother and more consistent. But for some examples of how he's helped me out:
-"In Two Minds (ITM), Part 1" had a lot more of Applejack's dialogue.
-"ITM, Part 2" sharpened up Twilight and Gadget's dialogue and helped intensify Twilight's conflict to make the conflict more gut-wrenching (and judging by the reviews, it worked)
-"Giggle at the Ghost in the Machine" got a lot of work too. Some of the gags got cut to avoid them getting stale and Turing got more progression toward understanding humor more realistically; Turing's first bout of anger was much more intense, so it got toned down a little; and Celestia's dialogue with Twilight was originally a lot more hostile.
Bottom line is that the characters got a lot richer and the story a lot deeper thanks to his help. That, plus he's a really funny guy, even when he's taking me to task for lazy writing.
So, to show my thanks, here are some recommendations:
For me, I recommend "Siren Song," of course, though if you're not into something so dark, then check out the much shorter "A Change in Three Parts," which, like "The Iron Horse" deals with the moral pitfalls of technology in society set against a backdrop of a really interesting character piece.
For him, I asked him if he'd like a plug, and he said he'd love it if "The Arbitrage of Moments" got some love.
Anyway, that's it for now! Next one of these blogs will be about my artist! Until then, take care and I hope to see you next chapter!
just read it from the start till end... 3 days ago
3252402 It's pretty great. I'm just a very slow reader.
I take it you enjoyed it if you read it that fast.
3252432
i think i read too fast... half of the time i couldnt keep up whit where the "BLEEP" she had gone....