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Jul
17th
2015

Review: Riverdream at Sunset: a Manuscript · 12:47pm Jul 17th, 2015

I love pony fiction. A surprising declaration on a pony fiction fan site, I'm sure, but it's true. So, in the spirit of pony fiction, I thought I would start trying to review, analyse and/or critique some pony stories.
If you have a story you'd like me to review, leave me a comment either on my user page, or through the private messaging service.


Riverdream at Sunset: a Manuscript is tagged:
Crossover, Adventure, Human

It features the character tag:
Celestia, OC, Other

Riverdream at Sunset: a Manuscipt was written by GroaningGreyAgony, and can be found here. Full story spoilers below the cut.


This... is a very unusual story. As such, I hope that it's not too out of line for me to be a little unusual with my own form, and give my thoughts here rather than at the end:
This is one of my shortest reviews. I find it difficult to comment on this objectively, or to say precisely why it works... because this is one of the best stories I've seen on this site. If you haven't read it yet, stop the review and go do so. It is more than worth your time.

Following the directions of an old woman and her cat, Lord Dunsany sails down the river Thames and passes into a sleep. When he does, he dreams of gods; of the white horse that pulled Helios' chariot asking her master for a boon, to seek her own place in the cosmos. Helios grants his steed a clod of earth, Dunsany dreams of her tending to it.
He awakens to find himself in a strange land, filled with colourful ponies and strange customs. befriending one of the locals (a pegasus by the name of Eocharis), Dunsany explores this strange land... until he is forced to leave by the impending sunrise. He eventually awakens in his boat on the Thames, and muses that, whatever path there was to this strange land has been barred forevermore.

Let me start with a confession; I have never read (or even heard) of Lord Dunsany. This is something of a problem given that the fiction (presumably) tries to emulate his style, meaning I can't measure how well it succeeds on that point. On the other hand, this story has inspired me to look up some of his books and stories, because if they are as good as this, then I shan't be disappointed by what I find.

Measuring the narrative style on it's own merits... it is very "old-fashioned"? The sentences, for example, are longer than a "modern" work might feature, with an emphasis on description; aside from the "dream" he has of Celestia and Helios, the manuscript features next to no dialogue. In a "normal"or modern story, this might get frustrating... but here, it it used to great effect, mirroring the style of the period Dunsany was writing in.

This means that the story is being carried, in many respects, by it's description... and in this case, that description is very strong. Even before the riverdream begins, Groaning captures a surreal, fantastical dreamlike imagery:

And when I had heard the song of the thrush seven times in succession, I then performed certain actions that the cat had suggested in a dry mocking tone, then closed my eyes and rowed three times widdershins, and when I looked again a fork in the river was apparent where none had been before, and I turned my boat down this course.

The logic of dreams is apparent right from the beginning in the form of the talking cat and it's instructions, which Dunsany follows "most especially".

This kind of dreamlogic continues into Equestria, where Dunsany's arrival is treated with no alarm, instead being greeted and welcomed warmly. In fact, when dialogue does appear in this section - such as Eocharis asking to see his cufflinks, or excusing away Dunsany's costume as being because he's going bald- it's to address more mundane matters.

Keeping to the description becomes more powerful as the story progresses. As viewers of the show, the idea of a "cloud sled" isn't particularly novel or unique, but seeing it delivered through the medium and langauge of Lord Dunsany (as well as his reaction to the cloud-walking spell) reminds us of just how unusual such a thing would truly be for a human. It also helps prepare the reader for the (even more bizarre) spectacle of the earthpony stampede turning the world, an intriguing piece of world and cultural building on GroaningGreyAgony's part, and something which is wholly new and unexpected for readers.

The final stage of their journey is to the city of Nephelia, the source of all weather for the land (which we recognize as "Cloudsdale")... which is actually a rather itneresting choice of venue for the group. After all, when Dunsany returns to the "real" world, it is to the

the world of groaning, shrieking machines

.
Nephelia is presented in more romantic terms, of course- there is no "Pegasus Device" waiting in the wings- but the parallel is implicit, particularly when paired with Celestia's (at least imagined) rage at Dunsany's presence, It ties back to the earlier dream sequance, to Helios' warning that Celestia's subjects might one day turn against her and the faith the way their human followers had.

It isn't overt enough to turn this into a tragedy; what we see of Equestria paints it as a (very classical) pastoral utopia. It's more hinted at, wit the reader's being left to make their own conclusions... though the (rather beautiful) ending words of

The river turned and changed even as I drifted, and I knew that even should I dare to return this way, the journey could never be repeated. For a river wriggles over the land as the years pass, even as the Fates scribe the curves of a brief human life. But it effaces with its newer script the traces of the old, and shall never, never write thus again.

carries with it the implication that the world of Equestria is one which will not repeat the human world's advances, for good or ill.

Though speaking of the gods, I also want to give credit for the creation myth that GroaningGreyAgony has constructed. It feels very epic is nature; while Celestia is identified as being one of Helios steeds (and therefore, Greek), I also got something of an Egyptian vibe from her; the image of her curled around the clod of earth and crying (and life implicitly springing at least in part from he tears) rather reminded me of Nu from Ancient Egypt. I think this speaks to the strength of the moment though; it has the same universality to it that suffuses many creation myths, helping to raise this to the status of epic. Even Dunsany's musings of a sister bringing a white pebble for a moon, strikes a chord as something that might be found in real-life folklore or tales.

I must also give the author credit for sticking to the chosen form so well; the Introduction, Afterword and Glossary (as well as the "disclaimer" that the manuscript is still being verified) helps to contribute to the appearance that this fiction is trying to cultivate, and helps the reader become immersed in it.

Riverdream is a very different story; it has a different style to it, it features OC's, human's, and is a crossover (many things which are not my favorite). However, it is also experimental, a fascinating story which tries something very different and, in my mind, succeeds beyond measure.

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Comments ( 1 )

This fic is fantastic in all the senses of the word, no?

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