• Member Since 30th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 23rd, 2020


Silence amongst the sinful.

More Blog Posts30

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The Meaning of :B · 6:21pm Jul 16th, 2015

Greetings, fellow sufferers!

Undoubtedly, you've come across PresentPerfect in your travels. He is, after all, quite hoers famous, with credentials like being an EqD prereader, fic reviewer, site blogger, and being all around quite the brony role model.

But, I'm sure you've all come across his liberal usage of emotes at some point or another. Like, he uses them quite often. I myself have adopted some into my everyday typing :V Out of all of them, there is none more enigmatic than :B What could it possibly mean?

Personally, I had no idea. Why, it could mean any number of things ranging from Cleetus, the Slack-Jawed Yokel to the lessen of teamwork, to showing off two ants pushing a boulder off top of another for great honouru, to the dreaded colon bee, to PP hinting at his true form, to need with braces, to Goofy, to being a buck-toothed derp of amusement. What in the hell could :B possibly mean? I pondered it for the longest of times. I eventually consulted with PP about what all that soul searching had come up with, what :B meant.

It can be Bidoof if you want :B

And so my mind was put at ease. :B was simply a representation of a goofy-faced, overly abundant, pest, Rattata replacement of a Pokémon from Pearl and Diamond. One that you shove as many HMs as you could on because do you really want Cut on your precious starter Pokémon? The one species of Pokémon you reliably replace your friend's entire team of Pokémon with because he foolishly decided to get you back into Pokèmon by letting you demo his copy (guaranteed way to make someone lose their shit, btw).

I mean, cuz really? :B looks too much like Bidoof. Whenever I see it, I see what Bidoof entails. Hell, I even hear its cry whenever I see :B

But that was not to last.

"Muh name is Fluttershy hyuk hyuk."

Upon hearing this, I immediately barged into PP's internet home and argued the meaning of >:B His retorts were silly like, "I don't know what your issue is, but if you don't tell me, we can't solve anything." and "Could you please not fly into my lightbulbs repeatedly? Those are the expensive kind." and "Please stop getting moth dust on my Transformers and snacks." and "You should stop squeaking so loud. I think you woke up the neighbours."

It was then that I realized compromise could be had. Horrible, horrible compromise! So I left PP's abode, went to Maggle's place and got him to draw this new interpretation of :B

Oh my lord.

There's prolly some lesson in this, like how symbols are open to free interpretation by people, or how the meaning and emotional feel of a symbol changes over time. One moment :B can mean Bidoof. The next, :B can mean Bidoofershy. The next, it might mean nothing.

All I've learned is that I miss Rattata and turning them into Mewtwos :B


PS: :B :B :B :B :B :B :B :B :B :B :B :B :B

Comments ( 9 )

Context is an incredible thing, isn't it? Also, it sounds like PP doesn't speak angry moth noises. You may want to consider a new avatar.

Also, Bidoofershy is a thing of wonder and splendor.

This is the greatest blog post ever.

Author Interviewer

Why are you writing blog posts about me? >:B

3243875 remember those Awful LoHAV stories? I'm going to write one wherein a human named Past Tense wears a Bidoof costume to a convention and then thanks to a magic item from a sketchy dealer, gets sent to Equestria as an actual Bidoof.

It wasn't Jade or related brother or dancestors, so I asked PP and he said :B to me too.

I'm actually pretty sure it's supposed to be Fluttershy biting coyly at her lower lip. Specifically, as PresentPerfect gently strokes her belly, wanders just a little bit too low and bumps her teats with his hoof. But it's okay because he did that innocently and totally not on purpose. And for some reason Flutter's dock lifted just a bit and she blushed and made that squee sound and then somehow it just felt right and PP was all confused and vulnerable and then he suddenly lost interest for a few minutes and then it came back again.

squee :fluttershyouch:


Do it. That would probably be, like, the only LoHAV story I'd ever read.

Author Interviewer

Y'know, if you're gonna use weirdo names like that, you should explore the consequences of EQG humans going through LoHAV. Just remember, it needs to be a villainous Bidoof or it doesn't count for some reason! :V

Thanks for sharing! :yay:

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