• Member Since 14th Oct, 2013
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Phoenix Avalon

Hello, I'm here for the candy-colored ponies, nice bronies and good stories.

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Dawn of Justice · 12:24am Jul 14th, 2015

Honestly, who thought of that name? "Dawn of Justice" is impossible to take seriously, it's just so campy, cheesy and gimmicky. But really that's just my opinion. But on a less opinion based aspect and to transition into my critique of the Comic-Con trailer for DC's upcoming film, do you know what part of the title I think speaks to the priorities of this film?

Batman vs Superman.

Why is Batman's name first? Is it just appealing to the ear? Or is it because once again, Batman will be the face of DC superhero films for the eighth time in twenty-six years. That's not even counting the Adam West 1966 film. Oh and there's going to be another one after Dawn of Justice, directed by Batfleck himself. I swear to you, if I see just one more theatrical Batman film released in the next forty years I'm going to do what Joe Chill should have done and pop the brat myself.

I'm sorry, that was harsh. Where I meant to take this rant was that if you have seen the trailer you'll notice something. In this trailer who in the focus, who takes up the most screen-time and who gets the lines?


No, seriously I'm telling you back and watch the trailer again. Right now, do it, I'll wait. I've got nowhere to go.

Now tell me, my children:

Who's only one doing more than standing around?

Who's the one has the most emotional moments?

Who's the one who's past is mentioned?

Who's the one who actually has speaking lines?????

I thought this was a Superman sequel, so like he should be the focus? Have a line or something at least.
Or rather this is supposed to be a Justice League film, so the focus should be on all the League members (in this case DC's Holy Trinity). But neither Wondy or Supes gets a single line.


Seriously, am I going to have slog through another goddamn Batman film?????? I can't even say I like Batman anymore, I mean I know deep in my heart I still like him but I have been practically waterboarded with him and all his emo whining "oh I'm so dark and so broken because my PARENTS ARE DEAD" angst that I'm going to retch.

Wow I'm sorry I honestly didn't realize how upset I was about this, but I'm sitting here typing and all I can think and feel is that I don't want to see another Batman film, I don't want to see Batman on the silver screen again for another 26 years. Like, who do I need to pay or pray or beg with to get this torment to stop, I'll be good I'll be good just please please PLEASE PlEaSe STOP THE MADNESS STOP IT!!!!!

I better move on before I hurt myself.

Okay, next is what is with NOT!Ma Kent's speech?

Has she gone the way of NOT!Pa Kent from Man of Steel who insinuated that it would be better for his 13 year old son to allow other 13 year old children to die rather than use his gifts, brushing aside the psychological trauma that would inflict upon his own son and the dozens of parents, siblings and other family members who would be devastated and their lives destroyed by such a heinous tragedy?

What kind of sick, selfish philosophy is that? The same kind that the German populace held during WWII, better to be silent while six million people are butchered then risk my own neck?


So NOT!Ma Kent says that Clark should be "everything " to the people or "nothing" because apparently "he never owed the world anything."

Umm, excuse me, nobody owes the world anything, no one owes anyone anything. The world and human relationships don't run on a "do me a favor" mindset.

My mom doesn't take care of me because she owes me my life, I don't honor my mother because I owe her for bringing me into the world. My mom cares for me because she loves me and I honor her because I love her too, nothing as shallow and transient and oppressive as a "debt" that I'm compelled to keep and will soon fulfill and then be free.

Love is a choice and responsibility that every person makes, we do it because it's right and our reward may not be immediate, but it is always worth it and gives as much back and we give, sometimes even more.

Superman doesn't help the world because he feels he owes it, he does it because he loves his adopted home world and sees there things only he can fix because he has a gift. And his work not only helps the world it helps him, he can now be who he is freely and do good with his powers rather than wasting away or hiding in the shadows.

Also, to imply that Superman should be "everything" to the people, "their monument, etc" as she says goes against Superman's core as well. Messianic imagery aside, Superman is not God and he knows that and he doesn't want people to see him as one. He knows he can't answer everyone's cries, he can't be there for everyone's needs, he can't save everyone.

He is at the most a guardian angel, hovering in the sidelines, swooping in when and where he can. He isn't all-knowing, all-powerful, or wholly good, he's just someone doing the right thing to protect the weak and encourage the righteous.

To tell Superman he should be basically a god is not only highly blasphemous and offensive, but it will put a horrible psychological pressure on him, and he'll either go mad from it or he'll become a tyrant.

Next point of wrath, what is the point of all the manipulative and insulting symbolism?

Here's the Westboro Baptisit Church (because as well all know, anyone who believes in God must hate all change and new discoveries because their faith is so ignorant, shallow and weak it's just one scientific discovery away from disintegration.) Also, illegal immigrants because RELEVANT, look how RELEVANT I AM.

September 11 imagery because that's tasteful, thanks for spitting in the eye of the nation and victims of that horrific tragedy.

Oh C'MON Katrina imagery seriously? That was TEN years ago! Even rappers don't reference that anymore!

What. The. Actual. Hell. Nazis?

You really went for the lowest common denominator, the most sensationalist and dated symbolism in the known universe?

Are you an exploitation film now because unless you go Tarantino on this bitch I'm just watching people with no original concepts, no comprehension of their source material and not a single dram of taste throwing provocative images at the screen with as much subtly and restraint as a porno snuff film!

Seriously, this disgusts me. You don't have the skill or vision to say anything meaningful without ripping open fresh wounds and rubbing salt into the raw blistering flesh? What makes you think I want to sit and watch a movie where I'll basically be hit over the head with a brick for the entire run time?

Okay, let's move on before I spew fire at my desktop screen.

Who is this ho?

'Cause it ain't Wonder Woman. This woman looks like a skinny, generic pretty girl who belongs in the background of a grade C spy flick.

Wonder Woman is a tall, well-built, full-figured and muscular Amazonian princess, emphasis on AMAZON, aka wild warrior women? So she looks like she can bench press the Eiffel Tower and has the body every women (and man) dreams of!

And I swear before my God, if someone dares to mention how she served in the IDF and that makes it okay I will strike you down with furious vengeance because

1. That was years ago my Dad used to push-ups like Rambo when he was my age now he's lucky if he can do ten

2. Just because you can do the push-ups doesn't mean you can act or else wrestlers would be winning Oscars.

And look, I know it's just a trailer but you know what a trailer is supposed to impress me, given me concentrated dose of what's to come, they're supposed to summarize the characters and make me want to see more of them.

You know the impression I get from her?


Is she an ambassador, a business woman, a spy, one of Bruce's conquests? Is she an ally to him or Superman or does she have her own agenda? What stake does she have in this fight? What is her role in this world? Is she known as Wonder Woman or just Diana Prince or is she both and keeping a secret identity?

I don't know, you don't know, and therefore we don't care!

We know why Bruce hates Superman here, because he's an idiot and can't do his own damn detective work to see that Superman isn't some mad god tyrant her to destroy the earth because that's the only reason two mature heroes working for hope would ever fight each other like two hormonal schoolgirls.

But at least I know that. Wonder Woman is an enigma and worse, an uninteresting one. Nothing about her makes me want to learn more, rather I'm just repulsed by the very fact they thought this dull actress was the best choice for such a great character.

Another question to my readers, who is this?

This creepy, smirking, smarmy and obviously scheming geek? That can't be the manipulative, intelligent, hyper competent and BALD businessman and one time president of the United States Lex Luthor can it? Forgive my ignorance, but I thought Lex was supposed to be a sinister, intimidating force of personality, which is why we buy him going against the likes of Superman.

This guy? He looks like a creep who had to bribe his way through life because he hasn't a single charismatic or charming molecule in his body and nobody with a single working brain cell would put him in any position of influence and authority.

You know I'm exhausted I've been writing this review since 5 pm and it's 8 now, so you know what I'll just tell you this looks like another plodding, joyless, emo superhero fare that DC has been pumping out these days.

Every tiny amount of hope I had for this keeps getting crushed like I'm being mocked for even considering it and I'm sick of it, I'm fully embracing my hate.

God, this is killing me. DC was my first real superhero love, I watched Batman and Superman's animated series, both Justice League cartoons, the animated movies, I really loved them I did! Is there nothing left to my first beloved superhero company---

Report Phoenix Avalon · 704 views ·
Comments ( 17 )

Meh. Suicide Squad looks okay. Mostly looks like an excuse to unleash the angst.


Superman is not a god.... He's a Physical god.... As TV Tropes puts it

Mythology often depicted gods as "human, but bigger." Similar emotions, virtues, vices, etc. but with more power. Special effects and global story-telling exposure has expanded the concept. Gods are often humanoid (easier for actors to portray them) and have a number of powers. The difference between them and non-divine characters is they don't have to be "balanced" in terms of other characters.
Typical god powers and traits can include:
Nigh-Invulnerability - They can get physically hit occasionally, but no real physical damage will occur without a Deus ex Machina or a MacGuffin. (See Implacable Man.)
Super Strength
Shoot fireballs/lightning
Teleportation and/or Flight
Power to alter reality at will, generally in limited areas or in ways relating to their attunement— see below.
Limited Omniscience: They can be aware of what's going on in a general area, but they have to pay attention to it. So it's possible to surprise them.
Attunement to Concept: e.g. Aphrodite the Love Goddess is attuned to love, naturally.note If fewer people love, then she's weakened. If she's hurt or weakened due to some plot reason, fewer people love. This attunement may even be so strong that the concept defines their very being; a War God will be perpetually warlike, while a God of Evil can only do evil things, etc. Not all gods have attunements, and the level of attunement depends on the writer at the time. Which may overlap with...
Gods Need Prayer Badly: Their power may be directly proportional to the number of worshipers they have, or to the strength of their followers' belief.
Complete Immortality: They usually don't age, but can be killed - although it's incredibly difficult to do so and usually takes a great deal of effort or some special item to do so. If enough people still believe in them, they may be brought back to life - although they may have lost their memories or be forced to take a new form.
Avatars, dropping one's HP to Zero may not be enough, because they can reform their physical selves.

Interestingly, Superman and some of the more powerful Flying Bricks fulfill most of these requirements, except possibly the worship bit. This depends on how strictly you define worship, of course, since subscribing isn't usually considered the same as tithing. (For rabid fans, subscriptions can total a lot more than 10% of your income!). Then again, Superman does share a setting with actual Physical Gods, most of whom are even stronger still than he is (Depending on the Writer, of course).

thank you so much for this

thank you

3235790 Isn't that what Batman vs. Superman is for?

This movie is something that's getting made and yet we still don't have any Simon Bloom movie yet. This is the world we live in?

3235843 Yes but Suicide Squad is EXTRA Angst.

3235849 Aren't they villains? Villains and angst go hand in hand.

When I think Superman I don't think angst.

Then again Warner Bros. is the studio that tore The Hobbit to shreds, okayed Jupiter Ascending and brought us the genius that is The Hangover and Quest for Camelot so maybe to them making Angsty Superheroes seems logical.

3235863 I know you didn't just insult The Hobbit films.

Ya knooooow...... I'd take Jesse Heisenberg's Lex Luthor seriously.

If I wasn't so busy laughing at that gol mop on his head.

3235849 Least they got an excuse to let out that angst. :applejackunsure:

3235911 and that weird "redcapes are coming" line

3235813 Yeah. Because Superman is supposed to be Moses

3235975 Well, since Luthor is an uber-capitalist, I saw it as either Red Scare reference, or the worst of Libertarian thinking.

Or Lex's batshit insane, take your pick

And once again one of my least favorite tropes that DC keeps feeling the need to bring back again and again brings back its butt ugly head! Praise the Bat-God! :yay:
And I still want my Superman/Batman exploitation film.

3235871 If I recall, Jabberwocky likes the films, he just doesn't like some of WB's choices in handling them.

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