An early statement of affairs, rambling about the passage of time.

Not the usual time of month to update, but here goes. This one’s going to also be a little more personal than usual, but… well, hopefully this’ll clear up a few things.

Let’s start with the traditional questions one is expected to ask right around now. Where do I stand in life? I'm done with college, have my degrees, no idea what I’m going to do with them. My real life friends, I haven’t seen in… oh, months, less than a year (well, one of them), but a long time. As for my online friends… Let’s stick with online stuff and see where friends come in, if at all.

I have repeatedly said I’d make a Filly model for my fellow Filly fans, to maybe give a look at how they’re made. It’s been four weeks since I worked on it, I’ve had two or three attempts that kind of went bust.

I’ve tried writing a novel to be published. It will have to be rewritten from scratch, most likely.

For two or three years now, I’ve tried making pony animation. The result of show style in Blender was awkward and practically it was not manageable, the attempted 3D ponies have consistently been horrific nightmare fuel failures, even the fully ‘finished’ one. To date, I can say three models are somewhat finished, but none of them are fit for future use. Not in animation, not in stills.

Got Synfig sort of working, though, recently. Making characters in that is a lot easier than it looks once you give up on actually drawing in Synfig itself and just do all that in Inkscape. Doesn’t make actually rigging the damn things any easier. Even the official documentation leaves a few holes. Someone should fill them sometime.

And then there’s ponies, or at least the fandom and the show. Due to my own stubborn silliness, I haven’t kept track of what’s going on in the fandom. I hope the people I care for are fine, but I don’t dare check my updates. I’ve isolated myself, but that’s nothing new. I was never one to network, in real life or online, and I have the numbers to show for it. I’m not even on the forums for Blender or Synfig, despite yacking about the programs on here.

Still, I’ve got some stories on here, some of them were bigger hits than others. To date, nothing I've written is unanimously hated, which in this day and age is something of an accomplishment. My bad stuff fizzles, it doesn't burn, and I'm glad for that. The bad stuff just gets less response, not a less good one. So I do take pride in that.

And despite personal issues, I have never had to deal with poverty, or homelessness, that’s something to be happy about. How long that’s going to last is anyone’s guess. I’ve never even done a holiday job, let alone a regular one. Does all this writing stuff and figuring out programs count as work? Doesn’t feel like c.v.-worthy material.

Where am I going in life? At some point, I’m going to have to contact my friends again, I suppose. No idea when. Get a day job, a different routine, maybe. And if that fails, who knows?

Regarding the animation, if I were to look at my work so far and attempt to cut myself some slack, I’d point out that all three models (Nickel, Edward, and Horror-Loo) are non-human, unguligrades at that. I’d also point out that I was learning certain techniques for the very first time in each model, Nickel being the one that was pretty much the baseline for everything. And without proper references, too. On top of that, there’s the fact that I was trying to copy something that… isn’t all that well-documented in the first place. Doesn’t excuse the inadequacies, but at least it’s a known cause.

So maybe it’s a good idea to try a humanoid model next, and work my way up from there. I've gotten faster in Blender, definitely, way faster. Just haven't been capitalising on that, for several reasons.

The job thing? Got a test coming up, there is apparently one employer in my country that doesn’t require you to have a lot of experience, discernible talent, or even the faintest idea of what you’re doing. Who might that be? Our government, who else? Heck, at my level of ineptitude, I should be aiming for Europe.

The hypersensitivity thing hasn’t gotten any better lately. Might be due to the isolation, too. Can’t remember the last time I read a pony fanfic because I felt like it. At least one that wasn’t mine, and that's for comparison. Probably need to add meditating to whatever regime I want to follow. Went to the cinema the other day with my sister, somehow managed to stop myself from crying. Is it okay to shed manly tears during Jurassic World? At least during the big tearjerker moment? You know the one.

Physically, I’m pretty much the same as last year, maybe slightly leaner and yet faster to get out of breath. My back’s a little worrisome, though. In high school, I'd go swimming to help fix up a mild scoliosis, but college kinda made that iffy, and the end of college removed the daily walks, too. So… definitely gotta keep an eye on that. Nothing a little exercise can’t fix.

Apparently there’s a book on how to get on the cover of Men’s Health in 100 days. Sounds like the sort of thing Whimper would try… he’d write down his own 100-day program, though, wouldn’t he?

Which reminds me, need to redo him as well, maybe actually give him the right proportions of a colt and not a midget. I’ve got a Chip Mint vector to work from, and and turns out there’s a stallion with a mane style that matches Whimper’s description better. Probably have to use Bulk Biceps for muscle reference, too.

So… yeah. Rambling aside, sounds like Cracker needs to set up a schedule and get out more, literally and figuratively. There’s a lot to be done, still. Don’t know when I’ll do all of it, but I feel like doing it, so I will, at some point. It’s gotten me this far.

As for what I’ll do on the eighth, I think I’ll take a break and watch ponies. Not the new ones, obviously, but a couple of episodes I like. Assuming the dowloads work, some of the stuff on my disk gets its hangups every so often.

After that, well, we’ll see. No point in making any more promises I can’t keep. Gettin’ your shit together when you turn 28 ain’t bad, right? Plenty of great people did it even later.

Thanks for sticking around, hope I can make it worth your while.

Peace,

Cracker.

P.S.: I’m tempted to toss out another oneshot in between Warrior Meet chapters, involving Apple Bloom dealing with the prejudices surrounding rape culture in Ponyville.

It's exactly what it sounds like.