Read It Now Reviews #36 – Opposites Attract, Resembling Twilight, Who Will Save Me From This Body of Death?, The Elements of Elements, Twilight Spackle · 6:42am Jul 4th, 2015
In a sudden fit of productivity, I decided that it was time for me to actually finish a story yesterday and post it. It won sixth place in the last write-off, out of more than fifty entrants, and was within just a few fractions of a point of second place. I thought it was a bit unlike what I usually write - a metafic comedy, referencing the recent stories about fatal teleportation, Saturdays, and various other silly things - but Bradel thought it was in line with The Stars Ascendant in its revelling in the implications of minor details in canon. Either way, you might want to give it a read; I hope it makes you smile.
Dying to Get There
by Titanium Dragon
Comedy
4,825 wordsOne look at the headline of the Canterlot Times and Twilight knew that she should have slept in today. But at least none of her friends would be silly enough to believe she was killing herself every time she teleported, right?
I also decided to try and do something I haven’t done in a while: do something productive writing-related every day.
So today, I worked on a new set of reviews and attempted to clear out my “Read It Now” list a bit. Just as I was getting through the fourth story, Estee pointed another brand-new story, and I figured it would be great to give that a read through today as well. It is a rather eclectic set of stories, and I did not end up truly enthusiastic about any of them, but a few managed to hold my interest, and contained interesting things.
Today’s stories:
Opposites Attract by A Hoof-ful of Dust
Resembling Twilight by Manaphy
Who Will Save Me From this Body of Death? by Cynewulf
The Elements of Elements by Estee
Twilight Spackle by Estee
Opposites Attract
by A Hoof-ful of Dust
Slice of Life
2,405 wordsPinkie has drawn up plans for Applejack and Rarity's wedding. They're not even dating. So they say.
Why I added it: RariJack.
Review
Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Applejack pillage Pinkie Pie’s secret stash of folders and find Pinkie Pie’s plans for Rarity and Applejack’s future wedding, which is totally going to happen. Applejack and Rarity then work to convince Rainbow Dash that it isn’t.
And then the ending pretty much throws the rest of the story into question.
This story’s main weakness is that there is basically an argument about shipping in the middle of it which, while it does point out the issues with opposites attract, somewhat misses the point of why “opposites attract” is a thing and ultimately felt a little bit bare-bones in many respects.
On the other hand, the end of the story made me chuckle a bit.
Recommendation: If you like reading ponies arguing about shipping, this is an okay story for such, but if that idea doesn’t appeal to you, you probably won’t enjoy this very much.
Resembling Twilight
by Manaphy
Slice of Life
3,585 wordsA filly Twilight Sparkle is summoned by Princess Celestia for a meeting in her private quarters. However, something Celestia also mentions piques Twilight's interest and reveals a slice of Celestia's past unknown to Twilight.
Why I added it: Someone linked me to it on Skype.
Review
Celestia talks to Twilight and gives her a gift, while thinking back on Luna.
This story is a fairly pure Slice of Life piece in some senses – there isn’t a real arc or plot to speak of – but on the other hand, there is a story here, the implication that Twilight reminds Celestia of Luna when her sister was a filly, as well as shades of things to come.
That being said, this story never quite came together for me. There was some rough writing in places, but as the story went on it became less and less noticeable; the real problem was that I felt like the whole thing didn’t really go as far as it needed to go. The comparison between Twilight and Luna, and the shadows of things to come, were potentially interesting, but the story probably would have been better told from the point of view of Celestia – to Twilight, these were all confusing things, while Celestia, like the audience, has an inkling of what is to come, and seeing Celestia’s internal motivations would have been much more interesting than seeing filly Twilight, who wasn’t terribly interesting here and whose reactions didn’t really tell the audience anything they didn’t know.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Who Will Save Me From This Body of Death?
by Cynewulf
Dark
5,078 wordsAfter a long time--she would be more precise but Twilight has lost track of time--she emerges from the dark of the library. Her candles are burnt down to nubs. There is no food left in her pantry and furthermore, no coffee. So she goes to seek both.
And finds the town changed. Or is it Twilight who has changed?
Why I added it: It was featured.
Review
Twilight is so obsessed with her research that she has forgotten to do everything else. But coffee demands she step outside, and her friends quickly convene around her to try and convince her to stay away from her work and socialize, just for another hour…
This story had a reasonable enough premise – the idea of Twilight being compelled to continue to read it, to work on it, was an interesting idea – but I feel like this story had two key weaknesses.
The first weakness was that I figured out almost instantly what was going on just from the start of the story and Twilight’s vagueness about her “project”, which meant that the mystery of what was going on evaporated quite early for me in the course of the story. This left me feeling like the rest of the story was trying to play coy with something which was obvious to me, and thus felt kind of stretched. In a story like this, having a mystery is good, but it is often good to have a second layer to the story as well, so that if the first layer is peeled away by a discerning reader, there is something else beneath it to maintain their interest.
And that’s really where this story felt like it fell kind of flat for me – the idea behind the story was the same general idea as in {i]Inspiration Manifestation, but much more subdued, and beyond that, there wasn’t a whole lot to the story. It didn’t really say much about the characters, or do much with Twilight’s character or that of her friends, it was just a bad thing that happened to Twilight. I would have liked it better had there been some greater context – some larger thing going on – but alas, it felt like it just kind of was what it was, without stretching out beyond the base concept, and at just north of 5,000 words, it felt like it needed to have more real meat than just the core idea.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
The Elements of Elements
by Estee
Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
6.785 wordsSix Elements of Harmony.
One hundred and eighteen Elements of the Periodic Table.
Let's see who blinks first.
Why I added it: Estee is a good writer, and the idea amuses me terribly.
Review
This is a collection of short stand-alone stories about the elements of, well, elements – as in, the chemical elements.
Twilight Sparkle and the Totally Obvious Complete Non-Mystery of the Seventh Element
Pinkie Pie comes in and wants to know about the seventh element (of Harmony).
Twilight immediately starts lecturing her about the seventh element (of the periodic table).
Hilarity sort of ensues?
This story is kind of one-note, but it is quite short, at only about 1500 words (though it may actually be too long at that), and the conclusion of it made me chuckle a bit, though I felt like it might have been a little on the nose. If you want to read a silly story about Twilight misunderstanding Pinkie Pie’s question, you could do worse, but if you’re looking for something with more than two jokes, you’re in the wrong place.
One gentle, warm, and oddly quiet early summer day, Pinkie poked her head into the library to find a bored Twilight perched on her bench behind the checkout desk. There were no other ponies present at all: not a single browser, reader, or dedicated misshelver trying to find out how many deliberate mistakes it took to get thrown out and thus hopefully collect the pooled betting money waiting three streets away, presuming he lived that long. Those ponies, with Spike at their side, had looked at the first truly perfect jump-in-the-lake day and then gone off to expend their efforts in that direction, which mostly meant trying not to land on top of each other.
"Twilight, are you busy?" Even more quickly than usual, "I mean, I know it looks like you're not doing anything, but there could always be research on your mind, or you could be working out a spell in your head, and I guess there's always those thought experiment things, but if you aren't, I kind of have a question I have to ask you. Actually, it might be a really-really important question. There's a tiny chance -- really tiny -- maybe I need a smaller word... that it could be the most important question ever... but probably not really..."
Twilight wearily glanced up, blinked away something which had rapidly been approaching sleep. Her eyes didn't make it all the way open on the rebound, but the smile which followed that effort reached the corners of her mouth. "No, Pinkie. It's completely dead in here. What did you need to know?"
Pinkie smiled back -- but the question emerged with surprising caution. "What do you know about the seventh element?"
Twilight blinked again.
"The -- seventh element?"
"Yeah. Everything you might know about it. Because --"
And then Twilight was completely awake.
"I know just about everything about the seventh element!" She practically vaulted her own desk on the way off the bench, came to a full stop one body length in front of Pinkie in a stance which still had her tail vibrating with excitement. "And for you to be asking... about that of all things -- it's really important to you, isn't it? Even really-really important!"
"Yeah! Because there's some ponies --"
"Well, just for starters, did you know it makes up most of the atmosphere? I know everypony focuses on what we actually use, but the majority is that element! And it doesn't seem to be doing any harm. In fact, some scientists think plants get some benefit from it. I know they take in carbon dioxide for their breathing, but there's these little nodules along some of the roots and we think they're processing -- well, it's not really my area of study, but when it comes to the elements, you just can't go wrong with a foundation in the basics!"
"Twilight?"
But listening had been overridden. Lecturing had the floor.
The Old Problem
Luna is itchy because of a skin infection which is the result of receiving inadequate sunlight.
Fortunately, treatment for such things have come a long way since the last time Luna had this problem.
A very… stinky treatment.
This story is more understated in its humor than the first in the collection, but is rather the stronger of the two; while each scene tends to center around one or two jokes, they shift over the course of the story, and in the end, I felt like there were enough good jokes in this that I was entertained the whole way through. The ending was a bit weak – I never really understood the smirking thing – but the rest of the story was solid enough, and the scene with the panicky doctors was the highlight of the story for me, as they struggled to treat Luna while one of them had an existential crisis over which of Luna and Celestia they would treat first in an emergency. That being said, the story was very dry in terms of its humor, so it may not be for everyone.
The diagnosis took four seconds.
"Artemis verifoma," Doctor Vanilla Bear told them. The white head quickly turned away from the lens which had been magnifying the view of Luna's fur sample, and the diagnostician among the Royal Physicians smiled. (The rapid movement failed to shift the ridiculously-thick mane. Nothing ever did.) "And I was worried that it would be something important!"
Luna twitched, which mostly substituted for the partially-suppressed snarl.
Chocolate Bear's field exerted, and several delicate pieces of medical equipment were evacuated towards the ceiling. "Not that this isn't important, Princess!" the bulkier of the two unicorn stallions rapidly interjected. "Any problem of yours is our top concern! Unless there's another problem with your sister at the same time --- which isn't to say she's more important than you are -- or that... we can't..." Helpless brown eyes darted towards his partner. "...prioritize...?"
"Are you trying to get us fired?" Vanilla Bear hissed. The attempt at private communication went about as well as it ever did: not at all.
"No! I'm just trying to point out that we have a duty to both of them, and it just happens that Princess Luna needs our help today!"
"But what if it came down to both at once?" a suddenly-frazzled Vanilla asked. (None of that touched the mane either.) "How are we supposed to choose?"
"By medical priorities, as always!" Chocolate shot back. "Most critical condition first!"
"And if it's identical?" Vanilla neurotically drove on, sweat beginning to soak both coat and garment. "If both of them had the same disease or wound at the same moment? We only have time to treat one, the entire world depends on our getting it right, and we -- we would have to..."
His head tilted up, and slightly to the right.
Recommendation:
Twilight Sparkle and the Totally Obvious Complete Non-Mystery of the Seventh Element: Not Recommended.
The Old Problem: Worth reading if you enjoy dry humor.
Twilight Spackle
by Estee
Slice of Life
9,438 wordsTwilight has just put a crack in the library's front door.
Twilight has damaged government property.
Twilight has been in Ponyville for less than a moon.
Twilight has to fix this before anypony of importance finds out and word gets back to the Princess, which means Twilight is going to be doing all the work herself in the name of desperate secrecy.
Twilight is screwed.
Why I added it: Estee is a good writer, and the pun title is gloriously terrible. The chapter is entitled “In which Ponyville begins to learn one of their new heroines isn’t all she’s cracked up to be”, which just adds to my reason for reading this story.
Review
Twilight, fresh to Ponyville and freaking out over being sent away for extremely minor failings, freaks out after a patron deliberately misshelves books on a bet and tries (and fails) to clobber him with a book for his efforts.
Sadly, the door can’t say the same.
Needless to say, Twilight completely freaks out, in her early-Twilight-neuroticism, and has to fix it on her own, in secret, despite being, well, herself.
And she fails. Terribly.
This story, like a number of Estee’s stories, combines a bit of funny with a bit of sad. Honestly, I’m not sure how I was supposed to be feeling about this story; was I supposed to laugh at Twilight’s misfortune, or feel sorry for her being such a neurotic mess? The ending with Applejack seemed to imply the latter, but I’m not entirely sure if I’m right or not, as the scene with Mister Rich – and the ridiculous mess that Twilight makes of herself with the spackle – seems to point the other way.
The story is also quite slow-paced, consuming nearly 10,000 words in the process of telling a pretty simple story.
I can’t say that I was disinterested in the story, but not quite knowing how to feel, combined with the slow pacing, didn’t mean that I was wholly engrossed in it either.
EDIT: Per the comments, I thought I'd make note of something else, something I've noticed that Estee spends a lot of time focusing on in his stories: worldbuilding.
In this story, there is a whole section devoted to Filthy Rich, and his thoughts about Zecora of all people. He mistakes the disguised Twilight for Zecora at first, and the story goes over his thoughts about her. It seems that Filthy Rich is interested in doing business with Zecora, and his primary concern is her driving away his other customers. He is hoping to integrate her into the town to make things better.
Now, this is an interesting digression, but it also brings up the law of conservation of detail, and more specifically, something Estee does in a lot of his stories: blatantly violate it.
Estee includes all sorts of details in his stories which are there for the sole purpose of adding more depth to the world. It isn't often that a story will randomly digress and go into what Filthy Rich thinks about Zecora, especially given that neither is the protagonist of the story.
But this brings up both a strength and weakness of Estee's writing: while he spends a lot of time on worldbuilding, it can also detract somewhat from the immediate story he is telling right now. The pacing of this story is pretty slow, and the section with Filthy Rich in regards to Zecora has no payoff in the story; it is an interesting detail, and an idea about the sort of pony that Mister Rich is, but it doesn't actually go anywhere in the confines of this particular tale, and thus was, essentially, world-building for the purpose of world-building, as well as adding depth to a background pony who only shows up for a single scene in the story. Filthy Rich isn't just a 2D prop, and has his own thoughts and ambitions, but at the same time, the whole thing feels a little bit pointless, because there's no real payoff for it beyond said richness.
Recommendation: If you want to read something which is a bit ridiculous and a bit sad about an early-Ponyville neurotic Twilight who is scared of being sent back to Canterlot over a minor bit of property damage, and don’t mind the slow pacing, this might be enjoyable. But if you’re looking for something tight and punchy, you’re better off looking elsewhere.
Summary
Opposites Attract by A Hoof-ful of Dust
Worth Reading
Resembling Twilight by Manaphy
Not Recommended
Who Will Save Me From this Body of Death? by Cynewulf
Not Recommended
The Elements of Elements by Estee
Worth Reading
Twilight Spackle by Estee
Not Recommended
And there we go! Three days of productivity in a row. Can I keep it up?
Only time will tell.
And just remember, tomorrow, when you are celebrating the founding of America by blowing up a small piece of it to make sure that piece is not your hand.
And for you foreigners, just remember, we are a bunch of crazy people who celebrate the founding of our country by setting stuff on fire.
Sometimes ourselves.
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later – Important: 68
Number of stories still listed as Read It Later – High Priority: 272
Number of stories listed as Read It Later: 1618
Very good timing on the review of The Elements Of Elements - as you might imagine, that deliberate misshelving joke in the first paragraph apparently helped inspire Twilight Spackle.
I don't suppose you could arrange to have more interesting coincidences in future reviews?Why not both?
One of the things I liked the most was the way Rich was hoping to see Zecora. I can't imagine the subject's never been done, but so far as I recall I haven't actually read any other stories which mention townsfolk wanting to open relations with her.
3204981
I actually added a section about this. It was an interesting digression which added a lot of depth to Filthy Rich as a person, but it also doesn't really have much payoff in the story; Rich is a minor character here, and doesn't really spend much time actually doing stuff on-screen.
Estee seems to do this a lot; he is very much about writing a rich, living world, full of actual people rather than props, but at the same time it can result in some of his stories ending up feeling letharic in their pacing, as there are details in there which really have no payoff beyond building up the world.
I suspect some people really adore that, but I have mixed feelings about it; I thought that the digression was interesting and added depth to his character, but at the same time it slowed down the story I was reading considerably, and the story already was kind of slow.
3204989
Agreed, though my tolerance for digression is high enough that I don't really mind short ones like in this case. And it's worth bearing in mind that all of the individual Triptych Continuum stories are, in a sense, pieces of the same overarching story; digressions from the immediate plot still add to the shared narrative. There's obviously room for improvement in the balancing of shared narrative payoff versus single-story payoff (especially in the slower-paced stories), given that the idea is to let people start anywhere a la Discworld, but in my experience as a latecomer to the verse that's a relatively minor hurdle for those who persist in reading several (or all) of the stories.
Incidentally, I think Estee is actually a "she". Not really certain, but I remember seeing something in one of the blogs or comments that led me to believe that. Normally I'd try to find it again before posting, but I suspect digging through 239 entries plus comments will take way too long to justify the delay.
EDIT: Narritive Filigree is relevant here too. In some ways it's the opposite of The Law Of Conservation Of Detail, but there's some overlap as well.
Thanks for the recommendations. If you enjoy doing this, then go ahead.
3205044
Huh. Well, if they want to correct me, they're free to do so.
Indeed; I'm sure that's why they do it. I've read... I don't actually know how many of their stories.
My favorite remains Five Hundred Little Murders, though.
3205054
If you finish the whole set, I'd be interested to see any thoughts you might have on it. As far as I'm aware, no one's tackled that particular review yet.
Oh, neat.
On opposites attracting, I get why it exists as a trope, I just think that all the built-in conflict that's good for a narrative is usually bad when applied to real life. Well, that, and it causes the less dramatic relationships to be drowned out in the flood of "I can't stand you! Let's make kissy faces!"-type stuff; I'd like to be able to mix up the RariJack and AppleDash with some TwiShy and TwiJack from time to time, is all. (Although, I'm not sure that mountains of bad-to-mediocre TwiShy is anything anyone should be wanting for, since that's the most logical alternative to the status quo.)