My Sister is Ranting, Now what?

"And then He!"

"But she!"

"MOMMY! SHE DID-"

The bustle of voices coming from the other side of my bedroom door was almost deafening. I groaned, as I pulled the pillow up over my head trying to get a bit of shut eye, or at least rid myself of the headache, after my long day in town.

"MOMMY! Star threw mud all over me!" Zap wined.

"He Destroyed my mud pies!" Stare ranted back.

Groaning, I rolled out of bed, grabbing the pole, and slid to the floor. Rounding the corner, I peaked through the crack in my bedroom door at three muddy children. Three stinky, muddy children. Two upset boys, and one livid girl...

***

Fifteen minuets, three showers, A load of muddy cloths in the wash, and dinner on the table, we sat round the table ready to talk about what had happened, and how to prevent it in the future.

What had happened; Star (my cousin) Was making mud pies in the front yard, Zap came along and decided it would be cool to run through the mud. When Star asked him to stop- he didn't. Rocky (her brother) Somehow ended up getting sucked into the middle of it, and next thing they knew, they had mud in their hair, eyes, shirts, pants, hands... head to toe.

-----

How to defuse a woman, or My sister is ranting, now what?

Being peace makers is one of the most important things anyone can learn to do, and how to keep peace, or make peace with the opposite sex isn't easy. We are different, our emotions are different, therefore, we react different.

Many times I have seen a woman go into a rant, and the guy not knowing what to do, reacts incorrectly. I'm going to admit it, we girls are quite confusing creatures, we complain about a problem, then get angry when you fix it! Good grief! What is up with that?

A guy's emotions are far more clean cut than a woman's. I've never have met a guy who was feeling more than two things at a time. And most of the time, it's of the same nature. A woman's emotions aren't. It isn't uncommon for a woman to be feeling the ENTIRE range of emotions at one point in time. We rant not because we want you to nessicerally do something about it, but more of we are trying to one, see if you care, two, decide what we are feeling, three, what is important, and four... We are trying to cool off.

As a girl, I'm going to give you guys a clue into what to do when your sister, mom, cousin, girlfriend, or horrors... wife! Goes into a rant and you find yourself stuck. The first step is to listen. Often times all we need is a listening ear, sometimes we need a shoulder to cry on. Step two, find that duck tape, and paste it over your mouth and leave it there. In other words, shut up! A rant can get worse when you try to start talking, if you agree with her, and it turns out poorly... you loose, if you disagree with her... you loose again. Best thing to do is not talk at all. Don't give her any fuel for that fire that is spewing from those cherry colored lips. Trust me, it gets over tons quicker that way.

Step three, if she asks your opinion, and then gets angry at you for not responding, respond with a natural answer. Not yes, not no... but "Seems you've thought it out," Or "I will have to think about that." We might still get angry, but at least it's for not being fast, rather than being wrong, or an idiot.

During last night one of the ideas that were brought up by Rocky, was disappear. Listen boys, as Mom told him, the absolute LAST thing you want to do, is disappear, I think I've already said this, but I'll say it again. You disappear, and you just told her that she is worthless. That her feelings mean nothing, and she is scum on the earth. I know that is never how you mean it, but that is always how we take it.

Alright, so the rant is over, now what? How do you handle the rant that just took place? Well- do you go out and solve her problem! No. No! No! No! No! NO! We didn't go into that rant for you to solve our problem, we ranted to express it. Now is the time to show us just how well you know us. As one guy said, always have chocolate stashed away as... well, bargaining chips. Food often helps, chocolate especially since coco has a chemical in it that is a normalizer. However, this isn't always the best idea.

There are five love languages, Acts, time, words, touch, and gifts. Each person has one that is major, and easy to spot, then they have a second that... is often just as effective, but harder to see. My love language is acts. So, I'm done with a rant, now what? Well... I don't want you to nesicarilly solve my problem... however, often my rants are caused by being overwhelmed. I can handle a lot, but even for me there is a line and when it is breached... I really feel sorry for my family, I can be a PILL!

When I get this way, first, don't touch me. Often times when I'm upset my SPD gets worse, so any part of my skin that is being touched feels as though it's covered in ants, or worse, boiling oil. Being touched by someone else only makes it worse. I have zero control over this. It's just the way I am. So hugs are out of the question, unless I instigate it. Even in that state, sometimes that is what I want... Weird I know, but all my cousins know, you ask me before you hug me. But there is something they all know that makes me very happy. Remmeber I'm acts, therefore, even though I don't nessicerally want you to 'fix' the problem I'm fretting over, often times it's not the only one on my radar. So I might be ranting over the laundry, but in the back of my mind, the floors are messy, and I don't have time, the fence has a tree on it, and I can't do anything about it. I'm stuck in my story... the picture I'm working on isn't coming together how I want it. The kitchen is a mess, and it's driving me bazurk, the baby has a diaper issue and I don't want to deal with it... Doing one of those other tasks, that I didn't mention might not be commented about, but trust me. If they notice it, and fix it without me having brought it up, they just got brownie points. I might never say anything... but I will repay it late on. Another thing is bring me something I'm craving. Not something I craved two years ago, that makes me angry, but something I'm currently wanting. Chocolate, dark chocolate is always a winner... Dad and Glitter both know that Mocha Frappas is also a VERY safe bet. So if they rip their pants... after I fixed it the day before And if they don't want to get yelled at... Mocha Frappa's. Or during the winter, a plain Mocha will save them getting chewed out. Pens, scarves, hats, butterfly or flower hair dodads... Are also things that make me smile, and will help smooth out the problem at hand.

Glitter is different, For her things... she has money. She doesn't want things. But if she's upset, she wants to have a strong arm wrapped around her and to be petted. Her love language is touch so a hug, a kiss... it means a lot to her. And still, doing a task somewhere that is her's, but she doesn't have time for... means a lot.

We don't want you to do things FOR us, but we don't want to feel like the burden is completely ours either. We want someone to help us with the load. Not remove it. We girls don't want you to always get that thing off the top shelf, not unless we ask for it. If we say "I need you to-" then you have the right to flex those muscles and save us damsels in distress. Otherwise, find something else, and if you can't find something... sneak something to us that will... calm the storm.

Now, us girls, we shouldn't pop an attitude every five minuets to just get things. And if your guy is ranting... Just sit there and listen. Sometimes a ear, a shoulder, and a bit of your time is all we want. Be curtious. Don't hog all the time, there are other things that need doing. Boys... Be self aware. Think before you act, and defuse, don't do for.

Till Next Time

Cowgirl Out.