Never Felt This way Before · 8:56pm Jun 7th, 2015
I... can't really describe this feeling right now. I don't know what's been getting into me lately but I've been having a harder time trying to write and I don't get the reason why. I guess it must be all this stress... I don't know why I ever feel the need to agitate myself but lately things have not been so peachy at home. (No our family is not that dysfunctional.) It has been just one of the few times I've ever felt that this family has ever gotten... odd. Guess that's the life of someone of my syndrome...
Look at me, beating myself up when there is no need to. I still don't get this... but I guess I just have an odd feeling about what is ahead. After all, this is the first time I'll actually be on my own. (More or less that was when I was at DC for a week, thanks to joining a club that let me check out the nation's capital.) And this is not something I have told anyone on this site... since I don't actually like blaming this syndrome and labeling myself. I... more or less have Asperger's. Yep, didn't see that coming did yah?
I mean... it's not all bad, besides the new mood swings I've never seemed notice before and now finally finding an answer to all my anxiety and nervousness problems. Was diagnosed just this year... in fact about a month ago. Surprised myself but here's the good thing this has taught me.
Nobody is perfect. Absolutely nobody.
Don't let others try and tell you that just because you are different, that you shouldn't be here. No, no, no. That isn't the right way to think. We've all been programmed differently. Our own neural systems have been wired in our own unique ways. That is just what makes us different. I've learned that in many ways... some scenarios worse than others. But here I am. And here I shall stay.
I sound so cheesy don't I? 
I don't mean to sound so down on myself... I guess I just do get like that. Maybe I do feel alone sometimes, but I know my family is here. Maybe it was just to let you all know. Who knows, maybe this is all to just be understood like everyone hopes that others will be able to. The answer that is sadly true is that not everyone can understand and that is where I do feel alone is when no one can understand. But here is something I also learned. One of life's greatest answers to the future of stories... both yours and mine is these simple words.
I don't know... I just don't know.
And one more thing... this was my senior quote. It is something that I truly take to heart. Because in all truth, this is all that ever has helped us all.
"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, that's all who ever have." ~ Margaret Mead
One more thing. Whenever you feel down, just play this. The tune itself helps me relax, but will make you sad sometimes. But don't worry. I am here and so is everyone else. (Wow... the feel level is going up today. I certainly hope I don't make anyone cry.)
Thanks to those who listen... and I promise to update more on these blogs. Maybe that might help me... but again, who knows. That is all for now... see you all later. 
Yep, I've got Aspergers to. We've known since I was, what, 5? But, none the less, I am still alive and whatever you need, you can come to me with it and I will do all in my power to help you. (God, this music is affecting what I'm saying.) I know that I've done some things in the past, and I'm sorry about that. But can we not put the past behind us? God, what am I saying?! It's the music, it's doing this to me! I've got to leave before I say anymore stupid stuff, cya!
Yeah, that music definitely affects many people.
Although it has never made me cry before (Almost a couple of times though) it has helped me in the long run.
Thank you though for that, Hirohito.