Fanfic Writing Tip #1: Don't sacrifice aka when wish fufillment goes too far · 3:56pm May 29th, 2015
Fanfic type: Harry Potter (Why this and not MLP? Because Harry Potter is the most fanfic'd thing out there.)
Title:Lord of Caer Azkaban
Warning:Spoilers
You know, as a critic, but not only that, as a writer who likes stories that are in it for the long run to begin with. I often come across instances and scenes in a story or a movie where the writers could have done so much with what they had, if they just decided to go down a different path. But instead they decide to have their story take the blue pill and shoot for the happy ending where they can.
And, honestly, that's not a bad thing. If there's one lesson we should take away from the butt load of Hollywood sequels and series that just refuse to die, is that knowing when a story should end is important. Even if you feel like you could do more
But there are often times in a story where the writer really shouldn't have ended things where they were. Not only could they have done more, but they did so little with the idea and the premise to begin with there was almost no point in putting in, in the first place. That is what you call a dead end plot point. And that's where this story comes in.
There are so many times in this one story where the author could have had done so many things with this one premise that's it almost makes me want to smash my head in. Every time you think something's about to go down, and you're finally about to get some suspense in the story the problem is solved relatively easily, maybe a chapter or even a few paragraphs later, all so the main character can get their way.
Now, I know this is fanfiction. And most of it usually revolves around a character the author likes getting their way in one form or another. But something that should never be forgotten in the quest for that is conflict. There are several different types of conflict, and it's common knowledge that you can't write a story without it. But the other basic rule of conflict is depending on how big it is, and how complex it is, you're solution needs to be equally as hard to find. That doesn't mean you're solution needs to be complicated and complex, but your character should have to go through trials equally as demanding as the problem you've placed them in in order to get out of it. And this story has zero grasp on this idea.
Don't believe me let's take a look.
Our story begins with Harry receiving a letter that he has to come and collect his inheritance that his Godfather Sirius left him when he died. For those not familiar with the series in any form, this is an extremely low point for our hero. His Godfather and pseudo guardian who has been secretly looking out for him is dead, and the Dark Lord, Voldemort's forces are on the rise. As a result Harry's been confined to his home with his aunt and uncle for the summer unable to contact anyone.
Not really sure what to do Harry decides he'll write a letter to Dumbledore, asking for his advice. Not realizing that the letter he just got from Dumbledore. Already has his answer which is a flat out "No, because it's too dangerous". You see how pointless wanting to write the letter was, now imagine the rest of the story like that.
Instead of staying where he is. Harry decides he'll get Dumbledore back for lying to him last year, and tells him he'll stay where he is while in actuality sneaking off to Daigon alley, and the wizarding bank Gringott's to collect his inheritance. Now this reflects a trope that shows up a lot in not just Harry Potter, but other fanfic writings too. And it basically goes that if someone doesn't like a character for some reason, they will go out of their way to make them into the biggest ass that's ever existed. It's not easy to turn a well liked character into an absolutely hated one and do it well. It takes time and a lot of reflection on why they're doing what they're doing, so that we may not like it, but the transformation makes sense. I'll probably write more on this topic later, but for now, just know that people don't like Dumbledore because they think he's way too manipulative and controlling of Harry.
So Harry sneaks off to Gringotts where he discovers that he's not only insanely wealthy, but because of his heritage as a Potter and his godfather Sirius leaving him as his sole successor, he is now the Lord of the wizard world's island prison Azkaban and the small nation of people that live on it. Making him one of the most influential people in the wizarding world.
After discovering this fact, the goblin bankers of Gringotts contact Azkaban to inform them that they have a new ruler. And as soon as Harry finishes up and leaves the bank he discovers a carriage waiting for him. This is where we're introduced to Becky, who is probably the biggest disappointment in this whole story. Not because she's boring. Oh no, its because she's interesting as heck, but the writer doesn't do squat with her.
Throughout the story Becky is shown to be painstakingly loyal to Harry. To the point where she would go behind his back and do things she knows he wouldn't like, but feels are necessary to help him. When she hears how awful the his remaining family, the Durselys treated him growing up, she conspires to have their kid thrown in jail (albeit for things he actually did, but still). When she hears, how Harry's best friend Ron has gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion, she hatches a plot to get him out of the picture by convincing him to leave Hogwarts and head to a private school in Siberia.
Now a good writer would have taken advantage of this, with Harry finding out about these behind the back deals and getting angry about it, thereby creating trust issues between the two, that they can play with later on. Which ties in perfectly because the whole reason he didn't listen to Dumbledore is because he didn't trust him. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, it's not like they set up some big problem later on that could have caused a huge fall out between the two. Like the fact she's the daughter of Bellatrix Lestrange the woman who killed Harry's Godfather, and put him in this position in the first place . . . like I said, waste of a character. As for the whole mother of a killer thing, Harry, just sort of shrugs that off.
Anyway, after the introductions, Harry decides that if he's going to be going to war against the dark forces of Lord Voldemort, he might as well go in armed to the teeth. And then we get a scene I will admit is one of the most fun in this type of story. It's just Harry going around shopping for the best clothes, armor, etc. But half the fun of seeing someone with the amount of power he has is seeing how they'll throw it around.
But that's also this stories major problem. Basically every problem is solved with a wave of Harry's hand because he has the power to do it, and unlike most stories where there's some form of political B.S, or some sort of limit on the character's power they have to find ways to reach around to get things done, there's nothing like that here. Early on Harry gets things orchestrated so that nothing can legally appose him. As a result every problem ends like. . .
Becky: Harry, the Dementors are yours now, they'll listen to whatever you say.
Harry: Really? Dementors, its time to come home."*Dementors return* Wow, that was easy.
Gaurd: Harry, Percy Weasly has been kidnapped!
Harry: Really? Then go rescue him. *Guards rescues Percy* Wow I'm good at this.
Hermoine: Harry! Professor Snape is a jerk and he attacked you. What do we do?
Harry: Oh, just give him his dream job on my island with a hot assistant, far away from anyone else he could possibly interact with just the way he likes it.
Hermoine: Oka-Wait, What?
And that's basically how every problem is solved. With a wave of his hand or a shrug of his shoulders, Harry turns every problem that should be a big deal into something that's not. And it's not like it's just me hoping that something more extreme to happen while reading this. There's several times in this story whee the author makes it seem like something is going to happen and then it doesn't.
Like that whole Percy being kidnapped thing. When that happens, we begin to delve a bit more about his father who as it turned out, years ago was this legendary guerrilla warfare fighter, who carved through Voldemort's forces like butter. When he discovers his son has been kidnapped, he gears up again after all these years, brings along his sons prepared to rip Voldemort himself a new one to get his kid back . . . only to discover Harry has already rescued him and there was absolutely no reason for that whole mini-story line other than to show Harry flexing muscles we already knew he had.
There's also a brief period, where they decide they'll go to Hogwarts, and bring along a cavalcade of military cadets, creating a sort of fourth Hogwarts house with Harry secretly in charge. This could have been a lot of fun, we could be introduced to some more characters we could come to care for, and see how Harry uses his influence and powers to take advantage of things at school. And we're there for all of a couple chapters, long enough for Harry to tell off Dumbledore, Harry to get his rival Malfoy arrested, and to be introduced to characters that were completely and totally pointless to begin with, that didn't need to be if they'd decided to stay there. Again all things he could have done back on their island.
The most we get to an actual conflict where the characters actually struggle to fix it, is with the sort of love triangle between Hermoine, Becky, and Harry. And even then there isn't any fighting or arguing between the two girls, they just sort of accept Harry is both of theirs. And when they decide he needs to marry one of them. it basically goes like this. . .
Becky:Hermoine, you should marry Harry
Hermoine:But what about you?
Becky: I can't marry him because it's not proper political etiquette.
Harry: How about I just marry you both?
Everyone: Yay
See what I mean, and if that's still not enough to convince you that this story lacks any real sustenance to keep it going. Just believe me when I say that our main villain is defeated within a couple of sentences. We don't get an epic showdown between him and Harry; Harry isn't even involved in the fight. We just get information that his guards are going to raid Voldemort's hideout, a brief scene stating they've got them surrounded, and then a scene or two later Voldemort is dead with his head on a pike.
And that's it for this story, but it really didn't need to be. This author had a lot of great ideas for their character's, things I honestly hadn't seen before in other stories that follow similar plots. The only problem is none of it leads anywhere. I barely scratched the surface of pointless things this story added in that didn't need to be added in. But even then it's worth the a read if you just want to see a character that normally gets kicked around, just win at life for a change. Pointless, but enjoyable.
And remember this is fanfiction, you can make your wildest dreams for a character come true, just try not to sacrifice things like conflict, character, and just the overall plot to do it. I'll do something MLP related next time.
