My Opinion on 'Like a G5' by PresentPerfect · 2:16am May 8th, 2015

Hello, everyone. This is my opinion/reaction to this story by this guy. If you don't know what's going on, read this.

— Chapter 1—

Princess Celestia shook her head as she led Twilight through the castle once called Canterlot.

What's it called now?

she could hear the capital "S" in "She"

That'll teach you not to make potions out of library books, Twilight.

Great wings, white as Celestia's and even more imposing, spread toward the ceiling

Loving the atmosphere, Present, old boy, but what's that I hear in the distance? Can you hear it? It sounds a bit like a train. Listen...

LetDownLetDownLetDownLetDownLetDown

Hmm. Well, anyway, I'm not sure what you're building up to, but it must be pretty epic.

No, "appear" was not the right word. They were not revealed to have been there previously, nor were they summoned into existence by magic. The very fabric of the universe that had moments before said, in no uncertain terms, that no such portals existed there or anywhere else in creation, had been unraveled and rewritten in such a way as to brook no argument from anyone or anything, not even the laws of physics. The portals simply were.

"We're brand marketing, ma'am,"

You're—

"I'm from Hasbro, and he's from the Hub."

Oh. Hmm. I guess I should've expected that. I feel like this punchline is maybe a bit underwhelming for that much buildup.

So long as there are fanfiction writers, we'll live on in perpetuity, just... lessened.

Your dignity might be, but other parts of you will be swollen and exaggerated beyond all reason or modesty.

Twilight dashed the few steps to Celestia and threw her arms around the other alicorn's neck, squeezing tightly.

Oh, excuse me, I didn't realize this was anthro. In that case, parts of you are probably already swollen beyond all reason or modesty. Just be careful not to suffocate Twilight, she has other generations to move on to.

— Chapter 2 —

My name's Apple Jonas, the apple-buckinest pony you're ever likely to meet!

Dammit, Applejack, why are you reading this male pony's lines in my head? Geddout!

We have like a gazillion apple trees, and it's up to me, my parents, my grandma, my big brother and me to buck 'em all down every season! It's a lot of work, but it goes fast because we do it riding motorcycles!

Wait, Appleja—er, Jonas—has parents? Also, I was wondering when the motorcycles were going to show up. Now to wait patiently for the collectible-strips-of-cardboard-with-art-printed-on games.

She's really noisy and complains a lot. I guess it's because she's a girl?

I dunno, man, it might be more because she's yeller. You know how them yeller people is.

Pedro Pie

PFFFFFFFFHA—

"--thousandth annual Pony Extreme Games. This year, I've decided to hold the Games right here in Ponyopolis!"

As Twilight announces this, she brushes her kickflank punkish mane out of her eyes.

You can tell she just got finished doing her morning paperwork by pulling a wheelie on top of her in-box and screeching onto the balcony.

"Screw the rules, I have a motorcycle!"

HERE COME THE MEMES!

"Jubilee! Attack the robot's weak spot for massive damage!"

Fixed that meme for you.

brought to you by 4Kids

Dammit, 4kids! This fanfiction was so much better in the original Equestrian...

— Chapter 3 —

"Trixie is not paying you to talk," she groaned. "Go back to sleep."

Shoot. Missed the clop...

———

Pedro Pie is a combination of the fat kid and the horrible racial stereotype known as Carlos. So if he made you feel uncomfortable at all, just try watching the show sometime.

That character actually did make me feel uncomfortable after the initial shock of his name wore off. Think I'll pass on the show, though.

So this was...fun? Yeah, I suppose that's as good a word as any. It was a ridiculous, reference-infested metafic. I thought the joke in the first chapter fell a bit flat, but the rest was chuckle-worthy. Now you have me imagining a scene where Twilight's droopy assistant is picking up all the documents she signed with tread marks.

Anyway, that was good for the soul. Send me a story if you want a ramble!

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