The Guitar · 11:08pm Jul 15th, 2012
Hey! How're ya doing? I'm doing great, thanks.
Now, I know I've been away for a little while, but trust me, I -
Eh? What's that? You want to know why I've been away?
Sorry, can't say. I did promise never to talk about music again, y'know, and I do like to keep some of my promises. So, nope, can't tell you.
Oooh, go on then.
For the past (insert arbitrary measurement of time), I've been learning to play the guitar! At first it was a little bit difficult. I mean, have you ever tried to pluck guitar stings with hooves? It's bloody hard, I can tell you!
It'd be soooo much easier if a was a unicorn, but unfortunately Ditzy won't let me borrow Dinky's horn to practise with. I said I'd give it back, but ooohh no, she was like "It's much too dangerous!", "Do you remember the last time you switched species?" or "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT HACKSAW!". So no, no horn for me. :(
Actually, it'd probably be easier to play the guitar if I was an Eracticoan - they're all fingers and thumbs. Literally. Which would be useful right about now.
Sigh.
Anyway, I'll keep you posted. Or maybe not. I should probably talk about something other than music next time, though.
DW
P.S. Whaddya mean, 'you want to know why I couldn't have just written this, gone back in time, and given it to you earlier'? Because. That's why. Now shush.
Hey! You're a Doctor, and you know everything! Maybe you can finally answer this question! Why DO they call them Hacksaws? I mean, they don't hack anything, like an axe would... So why?
233555
Well, that's a good question. You see, it all began back in the Middle Ages back in old Blighty. I was having a lovely lunch (Pork Chops) at a fine banquet hall in London, when I asked a servant for some sauce to put on my pork, or 'hog'. Now, the poor fellow had no idea what I was talking about, and so went around looking for "Hog-Sauce".
Unfortunately, at this point my knife broke, so I asked another servant to get me something to cut my meat with. He heard the other servant asking for "Hog-Sauce" and assumed that he was looking for a new knife too, so he starting calling for "Hog-Sauce" as well. He had a bit of a speech impediment however, so it sounded more like "hagge-saue".
So, he found me a knife (still calling it a "hagge-saue"), and left to tell everyone what a brilliant name I'd just thought up. They all thought so too, and - lo-and-behold - five hundred years later "Hacksaws" were created!
So, that's why.
Ah! It all makes sense now!!