Fic recs, April 22nd! · 6:31pm Apr 22nd, 2015
In the spirit of having enough stories to post a journal today, I went a little overboard and did another round of story collections. c.c It's been a while, I've added a couple, and I should probably do this at least once a month. I was able to clear four of them, however! But that's why there's a huge number of stories this time. Don't worry, most of 'em are under a thousand words! :B
I don't have any news today, save to thank my newest patron, Super Trampoline, for supporting this journal! :D Check him out, he's cool.
And check below the break for two thousand words (mostly) about butts, Bronetheus's Waiting for Celestia, The Parable of the Dead Lizards by Violet CLM, and twenty other short stories, including my 400th review of the year!
H: 3 R: 3 C: 9 V: 5 N: 3
Approximately 2000 Words (Mostly!) About Butts by Morning Sun
Genre: Random
A discussion of the magic of pony butts.
Hey, it’s the first of the also-rans from the most recent writeoff, yay! And it’s the one with the best title ever! (It’s worth noting that the writeoff has a 2k word limit for short story events, hence the mention of the number.) This story has a very specific kind of narrator, talking to the audience in ways that don’t feel egregious, and a lot of the humor stems from the voicing. This edges up on trollfic, given some of the jokes like the commercial break, but I dunno, I really liked reading this, it’s pretty hilarious all around.
Recommended If You Like Wacky Stuff
Waiting for Celestia by Bronetheus
Genre: Comedy
When Celestia teleports back to Canterlot, her charioteers must decide what to do.
If you know anything about Waiting for Godot, it’s that Godot never shows up. This story subverts that expectation immediately by having Celestia leave. And while the first half is just two characters standing around and talking, that’s thankfully the extent of the homage. They start doing things, plot happens, and while I was (rightfully) concerned that “it’s not gonna be what it seems” would be the order of the day, what the two guards end up stumbling upon was genuinely entertaining. On top of the light comedic touches, this also features a brief conversation on the nature of Celestia and ponies’ belief in her, with one of the guards ultimately having a crisis of faith that gives the whole story a surprising poignancy. To say that the guards’ names are the best part is not to do a disservice to the rest of the story; this makes a number of very good calls in directing its plot and ultimately is worth the read.
Recommended
The Parable of the Dead Lizards by Violet CLM
Reading by Neighrator Pony
Genre: Parable
Twilight Sparkle tries to get to the bottom of Ponyville’s latest mystery: the appearance of dead lizards that share ponies’ cutie marks.
I can’t say I’ve ever read a fic like this one. On the one hand, there’s the Romanticist/Hawthorne style imitation that works through and through. Characters are identified by ARCHETYPE (in all caps), but the characterization is solid, given that there’s never any dialogue. The author has made the style work for the story, and that’s very important. On the other hand, this is the first fanfic I can say would be improved by the addition of the [Human] tag. The author expressly tried to keep things open to interpretation, but once Fluttershy is identified as a “young woman”, I allowed my mental image to slip into humanized ponies, and it just worked: the characters make the most sense when taken as humans-that-are-ponies. And that is to say, people like you and me, full of vice (a very Hawthornian perspective), who are the characters from Friendship Is Magic and also have marks on their sides laden with power and symbolism. Pure humans would not have the same effect, is what I mean. With that said, I recommend this on the strength of the writing. There’s a little bit of humor and a little bit of world-building (that seemed off until I realized something important about season one), and it all works remarkably well. This ends up being something of a meta-analysis of the relationship between human nature and pony nature, and the more I think about it, the more I love it.
Highly Recommended
But the Greatest of These by Cold in Gardez
Genre: Dragon Angst
Rarity asks Spike what he’s thinking about.
This comes out of the fanon chatter surrounding Secret of My Excess and Dragon Quest. Really, it’s just a thousand words of Spike being worried that his dragonness will override his friendships one day, and that’ll be it. And while I like the narrative, and Rarity’s advice to him is interesting, I can’t say this really held my attention.
Vaguely Recommended
I Do This for You by Esle Ynopemos
Genre: Internal Monologue
Angel Bunny protests his dinner.
The main conceit/joke is that Angel’s inner voice is exaggerated and overly posh, and he is trapped in a world where he cannot adequately communicate with Fluttershy. If that sounds fun, give this a shot, though I will say the punchline was disappointing.
Recommended for a Laugh
Me Little Pirate: Friendship Be Magic by Benman
Genre: Pirates!
Sent by the Dread Pirate Celestia to find a crew, Twilight Sparkle makes rather a mess of things.
This is literally just a scene setting up an AU that gets nowhere close to being resolved, but it’s worth reading for Gilda’s cameo. Also, pirates, c’mon!
Recommended If You Like Pirates
A Scratch by Dimondium
Genre: Scratchtavia
This starts off with the kind of poetry I really hate. The rhymes are haphazard at best, there’s no meter I can see, and worst of all, it’s a Scratchtavia. (Though I laughed uproariously over the line where Vinyl introduces herself.) Then, oddly, it turns into an interview, presented as a one-sided dialogue. It’s pretty standard stuff, though, and given the context set up by the poem, poor shipping.
Not Recommended
Last Slice by FanOfMostEverything
400th Review of 2015!
Genre: Character Death
Granny Smith has hours to live.
This is an odd duck. The first scene feels like a comedy. For all intents and purposes, it should be Granny using “I’m gettin’ old and could die at any moment” to guilt Big Mac into dating a mare. But then it turns out she literally has hours left. She prepares herself and her family, dies and meets Celestia Death. The ending isn’t particularly dark, or even heartwrenching, but it does seem like a 180, tone-wise, from the first scene, and ultimately feels like two stories mashed together. I’m not sure how to take it.
Vaguely Recommended
Faster, Stronger, Fizzier by Chis
Genre: Comedy
Scootaloo prepares for a race against Rainbow Dash.
The whole joke here is the nature of the race, which is decidedly of the non-running sort. Beyond that, well, it’s short enough to not overstay its welcome, but perhaps too short to deliver much. Also, the ending is rather gross; avoid this if you’re averse to body fluids.
Vaguely Recommended
Playing Dress-Up by Pascoite
Genre: Slice of Life
Pinkie comes to Carousel Boutique to pick up her dress.
(I skipped To Those Who Wait because it’s a proof-of-concept scene for a story I know Pascoite is working on. Go check it out if you want a sneak peek!) This is short and sweet: Pinkie needed a dress, Rarity made one, Pinkie loves it, Rarity adds one final touch. It’s the subtext that makes this one, though I really loved the description of the dress. A very economical shortfic.
Recommended
Deleted Scenes by horizon
Genre: Comedy
Luna’s introduction to modern cinema goes awry.
Yeah, it’s a story about Luna being unfamiliar with modern life. I don’t care, it’s hilarious. It makes great use of Luna’s dream powers and doesn’t waste a word beyond what’s necessary to set up the numerous punchlines. I lol’d, that’s all that matters.
Recommended
The Incomplete Essay by Titanium Dragon
Genre: Flashfic
Twilight is about to let her teacher down once more.
There’s not much here, and it’s not particularly good, given the punchline, but it kinda works on a meta level (if you ignore the actual word count), and it’s really hard to say that a hundred-word story is going to waste your time.
Recommended for Light Reading
The Commander vs. Harbinger by Wanderer D
Genre: Mass Effect Crossover
Commander Octavia Shepard has one hope to stop Harbinger.
All I can say is that this is a crackfic through and through, and one should keep in mind the collection’s title. This features the best use of Youtube videos in a fanfic I think I’ve ever seen. It’s hilarious. That said, if you aren’t at least generally familiar with the Mass Effect games (as in, seen large portions of them played, like I have), you’re going to have zero idea what’s happening and will likely want to pass this up.
Recommended for Mass Effect Fans
Love and Duty by Ezn
Genre: Tragedy
A former student of Miss Rosemary returns to ask for advice.
This is a masterful piece of subtlety. On the surface, it’s just an OC teacher talking with a mysterious unicorn. But you know darn well that the unicorn’s identity is the main point here, and it’s the way that identity is revealed, at the very end, that really makes this. Rosemary has just enough characterization to carry her philosophizing, and once you’ve realized what she’s done, well… It’s powerful.
Highly Recommended
Restoration by alexmagnet
Genre: Horror
A mad scientist is close to a breakthrough.
And this one might be too subtle. Other than the ending, I can’t really figure out what’s going on. Where are the test subjects being sent? Who’s the scientist? It could be Twilight, Discord, or anyone at all. I can’t even tell if they’re a pony, and I think that’s what really keeps this from sticking: it’s not very pony at all, despite the descriptions of the tests. I don’t know what’s happening, and I don’t know why this character is doing what they are. It’s not bad, I just don’t get it.
Not Recommended
A Certain Kind of Fic by Compendium of Steve
Genre: Fairy Tale
A filly on her way to a picnic meets a troll living under a bridge.
It’s obvious pretty early on that this is a meta fic, and it’s quite amusing by that standard. If there’s anything I don’t like about this, it’s the statement of the moral at the end. I mean, it’s part of the style, but on the other hand, figuring the moral out — specifically the pun at its core — would have been a lot more satisfying. Still a fun, quick read.
Recommended as Light Reading
Fabulous by Filler
Genre: Monologue
Big Macintosh has run off to be with his special somepony.
The author describes this in the comments as “more of a joke that isn’t funny than an actual fic”. I couldn’t agree more. The most damnable thing is that the identity of Mac’s somepony is never revealed in the text. (Okay, it is, but you have to know the series pretty well to make the connection.) There are a couple of places this could have gone, but it doesn’t. Instead, it’s a list of things AJ did while shadowing her brother around town that amounts to absolutely nothing. It needed something more.
Not Recommended
The Worst It Could Possibly Be by Jonathon Smythe
Genre: Random
Ponyville is in chaos once more.
So Spike wakes up and ponies are screaming, and darnit he burns his waffles. While random to the core, the way this piece unfolds is pretty entertaining, and Spike's general drollness adds to the humor. If anything lets it down, it would be the ending, which kind of deflates the whole thing in an “it was all a dream” sort of way. (Also, not sure why Twilight would do that.) Still, not bad, if a bit fast-paced.
Vaguely Recommended
Beauty and the Beast by Bad Horse
Reading by Neighrator Pony
Genre: Fractured Fairy Tale
This was the first of Bad Horse’s Bedtime Stories for Impressionable Young Colts and Fillies I ever read, back in a writeoff, and I wasn’t too keen on it. With a better understanding of how Bad Horse works as a narrator, I have more appreciation for it. Because, funnily enough, I think this might be the best of the bunch (though there’s one more I haven’t reviewed). The interplay between the narrator and the unseen children, the very obvious way he’s telling a story about himself, even some of the metaphors, they all work together perfectly. It’s a story about a marriage doomed to failure because of poor communication and unrealistic expectations. The ending is fantastic. Bad Horse must’ve done a number on this one after the writeoff. Just make sure you’re familiar with one or the other of the stories before it!
Highly Recommended
A Dash of This, a Dash of That by Sharp Spark
Genre: Romantic Comedy
Rainbow Dash helps Twilight out with a spell that has some surprising results.
This was meant to be the first chapter of a story the author didn’t continue, which is a shame, because it definitely feels like it needs more. The comedy is good, and the shipping, at least at this point, is mostly subtle, minus the very end. I think most people will get a kick out of it; the real question is, can you read a chapter one with no chapter two?
Recommended for Twidashers Especially
Little Bakery of Horrors by Nonagon
Genre: Flashfic
Honestly, not sure about this one. If it’s a Little Shop of Horrors reference, then anyone who hasn’t seen it (like me) won’t have any idea what’s going on. I just feel like there’s a funny joke here and I don’t have all the info needed to laugh at it.
Vaguely Recommended
Letters to Luna by FuzzyFurvert
Genre: Epistolary
Celestia writes to Luna after banishing her to the moon.
This is an interesting piece. It tracks Celestia through a period of madness brought on by shadowy invaders right after the Nightmare Moon incident. It has trappings of an AU about it, though things like the slaves, eunuchs and her title of Queen could likely be explained away as “it was just that long ago”, the same as with the presence of a city called Everfree. I dunno, I liked it, I appreciated the Numbers-style countdown in each letter, and I think the only way this won’t please is if you demand that everything in a story be immediately linked to canon.
Recommended If You Like AU
The Final Return by HoofAndQuill
Genre: Alternate Perspective
She will return once more, and not be defeated again.
This is something of an episode followup insofar as Equestria Girls is an “episode”, giving us both a brief rundown of events from the villain’s perspective (I’m being coy, but I didn’t figure out who it was until a beat early), and a little bit more before and afterward. The ideas are compelling, for all that they don’t fit canon anymore, and I like the structure as well, charting the various returns. Honestly, the only downside is “doesn’t fit canon anymore”, and maybe the fact that, in being short, there’s not much showing. I liked it though.
Recommended as Light Reading
A quick note: I'm starting to catch up with stuff that's been sitting around for a while, especially review recs I've promised to various followers. Those are almost all really long, however, so they're gonna come out piecemeal and slow things down. I also have another "edition" I started working on, but it'll be a while in coming as well. Otherwise, I'm just trying to get through stuff I promised to people, the RCL, and stuff I actually wanted to read over the last three months. So expect it, just not anytime soon!
Damn straight I'm cool.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/2/24/836314__safe_rainbow+dash_monochrome_pony_sunglasses_dashabetes_cool_artist-colon-patterndream.jpg
>conditionally recommends a story about pony butts
>criticizes Faster, Stronger, Fizzier for grossness
In all seriousness: yeah, not my best work. What can I say, it was... jeeze, it was over four years ago when I wrote that. Where has the time gone?
Also, spoiler alert: more body fluids await you the next time you do one of these shortfic reviews, PP!
I'll be honest, I had to look that word up. Which seems kind of silly considering that I wrote an Epistolary fic.
Still, I'm glad you liked it, PP!
There's always reasons to familiarize yourself with the ME Universe. My fics are just some of them.
I'm glad that more people are reading this. It's criminally underrated.
3007438
Yeah, I hardly blame anyone for anything they wrote prior to 2013 anymore. :B
3007980
But Chrysalis as Wrex?
3008209 Her Hives are dying! The Genophage started by the Crystal Empire had to be stopped for her to join your cause!
3008409
Mmmmnyeah, I guess.
For a while now, I've been saying to myself that I'd be happy if one of my stories got an unqualified "Recommended" from you. I never expected a Highly! I'm really glad you enjoyed that story – much of my work, not quite as much in pony as my original stuff, relies on that kind of subtlety, and you always run the risk that no-one who reads it will get it. So it's really affirming to see when people do.
Ironically, L&D is probably the story on here I spent the least time writing (barring the crackfics in that collection).