Speculation and Worldbuilding; Unicorn Combat and Weapons · 4:55am Apr 9th, 2015
Unicorns present an interesting combat scenario. Not only do they lack traditional human biometrics, they have telekinesis. This means that traditional single combat applies even less to them than it does to the other ponies, because their options are much greater and varied.
This blog post is a meandering mental exercise about one possible form unicorn combat may take.
Before that, a note. One of the defining features of combat is uniformity. I’m not taking cutie marks into consideration here, because training an army doesn’t work that way. Now, one might argue that the unicorn army is an elite task force based around squadrons of individuals with complementary skills, but that’s a separate blog post. So this post assumes that the combatant doesn’t have a combat cutie mark.
Equipage
Since unicorns do not need to grip their weapons with their body, there is no need for grips. Since the orientation of the weapon can change, it needs to have many striking surfaces. Since telekinesis might not offer a lot weapon control, it needs to be able to pierce rather than slice, since that motion requires slightly less precision. It also needs to be manufactured; no magic or lasers or such.
Something that follows all these design principles is basically the head of a mace/flail. Or maybe it’s two shuriken stuck together. It doesn’t need to be big, because the reach is not dependent on the size of the weapon like with human melee weapons.
Something like a épée blade might also work. Fencing swords are designed to stab and pierce rather than slice, so they would have greater leeway for injurious hits. They are also thin and would be hard to defend against.
Armor is tricky, because every part of you is a potential target, but full plate would be prohibitively expensive and cumbersome. Shields could work, but they would have to be structured very specifically and would only be able to block from certain angles. Instead, I think a chainmail cape would be a more simple solution. It can block most attacks even if the unicorn is only holding parts of it, and would be able to be scrunched or folded to stop an épée blade. So a combat ready unicorn might look something like this.
Position, Angles of Attack, and Posture
Many martial arts emphasize the teaching of attack angles rather than specific moves. The reasoning goes that it is easier and more efficient to teach combat based on where the attack might strike from rather than defending against specific martial arts techniques. Some martial arts, like Eskrima, even have traditional names for each of these angles, though in modern systems the number varies a lot and they generally just number them.
I bring this up because the idea is extremely relevant to unicorns. They can strike from any angle, and defending against such strikes is a very daunting prospect.
For the sake of sanity, let us assume that the average unicorn can only hold one object in telekinesis at a time. Even with only one object, starting near the unicorn, their attacks have a huge number of potential flight paths and strike points.
Obviously, there is some limit to the ability of the brain to track both yours and your opponents objects simultaneously. For this reason, unicorns would probably take a similar approach to human martial arts and base their attacks around prepackaged strikes that can be easily practiced. Unlike humans, they can change their strikes during flight without affecting the momentum—and thus potency—of the final strike. The end result is a sort of modular system; each attack has so many parts and the unicorn has to assemble different strike types into a single attack.
Once the attack connects, it either injures the opponent or is stopped by their cape (think matador). Then the defender takes the object and grabs it; leaving a live weapon that close to their body is a suicidal decision, after all. All unicorns would need to carry many spare weapons for this reason; even if most attacks are simultaneous, chances are they would have an uneven trade with their opponent at some point and be short a weapon.
In this way, unicorn combat is extremely fast paced. One must keep track of their own weapons and defense as well as their position, plus all those again for the opponent. While the elements are different and the techniques more complex, it still follows the same basic attack/defend/parry/riposte interactions that human combat does.
The real danger/fun/dangerous fun comes from the high skill ceiling. We know from the show that skilled unicorns can grab multiple objects at once and/or use finer control. By mastering this skill as applied to combat, the number and variations of attacks they could perform would be able to outmaneuver any opponent, simply by virtue of analysis paralysis.
So there you have it; one potential expression of unicorn combat that capitalizes on their unique abilities. You can see why I think the various pony tribes never engaged in direct warfare with each other. While it might be possible to adapt each fighting style to asymmetric combat (as many modern martial arts do), the disparity between each style makes that unlikely. A blowgun dart fired by a pegasus can’t be blocked the same way as a slower-moving tele-flail, which can’t be dodged the same way a blowgun can. Earth ponies have super strength, but the maneuverability the other tribes possess makes that a difficult thing to capitalize on. It makes sense the show emphasized the cold war/economic aspects of the pony conflict. There are certainly ways it could be made interesting, either by equaling the playing field or by much more creative combat, but that would take a better writer than I to figure out.
And so concludes my musings series about pony single combat. As always, leave any thoughts, critique, counter-speculation, clarifications, and comments below. 
Part Seven in a series of blog posts about meandering mental exercises. Check out the others if you missed them!
One: Why do so many Pony works use Human weapons?
Two: Earth Pony Spearfighting
Three: Pegasus Combat and Weapons
Four: What Do the Main Six Drink?
Five: Magical Pony Sports
Six: What Do the Main Six Read?
I always pictured them using disks sharp round flying cutting disks :P because whirling wall of death (wall of blades) is pretty much my go to wizard spell in D&D with good enough TK you can pretty much recreate it
As for armor I figure most threats will be dead by time they reach the unicorn so something light to keep them mobile if they need to quickly retreat.
Unicorn combat would mainly be like Wizards or Sorcerers in basic tabletop RPGs. Few of them will be wearing armor of any kind and those that are wearing armor will have a higher chance of their spells fizzling. Most unicorns know at least a couple Level 0/Cantrip type spells, things like Mage Hand (Telekinesis) and simple light production. A trained unicorn who doesn't have a cutie mark based in combat and/or magic is going to wind up closer to a Sorcerer or, in certain cases with lower than average arcane potential, Bard. These are going to have a small repertoire of spells but will be able to use them without refreshing their memories each morning. The trained unicorn who has a higher than average arcane potential due to their mark may wind up being a Wizard class who can use many different spells but have to refresh their memory on certain ones they don't use often regularly. Those that have a higher than average combat aptitude may be able to manage a Duskblade style "loadout" with fewer spells than some other unicorns but being capable of casting in full armor and even wielding standard melee weaponry like members of the earth pony and pegasus branches of the army.
Classes and spells referenced above based on D&D 3.5.
I hold that most Unicorns will tend towards combat styles similar to the various Arcane classes, Earth Ponies will tend towards Primal or Martial classes, Pegasi will tend towards primarily Martial classes, all races will have a minority group of Divine, Psionic, and Shadow based classes as well as a couple of outliers in classes primarily reserved for the other races (Earth Pony Artificers, Pegasi Druids, Unicorn Warriors etc.)
Size might still be an interesting factor anyway, not for reach but for damage. The greater the mass, the greater the impact. It wouldn't matter when hitting flesh, but if the unicorn is facing a heavily armored opponent (or simply want to break bones instead of cutting and piercing), a weapon with bigger mass should be an option the same way it's for humans. The differences are 1) reach: telekinesis makes it a moot point, 2) maneuverability: the unicorn can maintain all kinetic force in the entire object without obstacles at any point, while in our case, the closer our target the lesser the force we inflict on it (if you swing a halberd, it's not as effective when your target is touching you).
But given what I have seen pre-S4, bigger objects would be used more for demolition (against doors and walls, maybe even magical barriers) than real combat, as the scarce armor shown still leave enough flesh exposed for smaller items to do the job.
Ooh, more of these.
While your exploration of the combat applications of telekinesis is fascinating, I do think you overlooked spellcasting. There are few Twilight-tier unicorns out there, but every unicorn excels in magic related to her special talent. Weaponizing it is just a matter of imagination, and the end results... are far too numerous to even begin to approach. Yeah, no wonder you focused on TK swordplay.
Still, even in this area, Rarity would be terrifying. Given her gift for telekinetic choreography, she'd be a one-mare arsenal.
2964407 The show and comics do show that "basic laser" might be a standard unicorn power. That would just mimic gunplay, though (concealment v. cover, lines of sight, etc.), so it seemed like a dull topic. The principles and mechanics of gunplay are well-documented elsewhere.
I also dislike the idea that every cutie mark can have a combat application. Some, sure. But something like detecting gems is hardly a combative skill
(guess you could tag your opponent with gem dust to track them, maybe?). It stretches willing suspension to have such improbable uses of non-combat skills, and it sort of cheapens the idealism of the setting if every unicorn is capable of being a violent mercenary.
Rarity would definitely be a destructive combatant, though. Especially if the choreography in "Art of the Dress" is a clue.
2963682 I actually considered a sawblade-type weapon, but it seems like it would be cumbersome. Spinning it in order to trigger the slicing motion would be a bit awkward.
2964241 Even in that case, it might be easier to just use a denser material rather than making the weapon bigger. The object would still be harder to maneuver, but the smaller size would make it harder to track and dodge. It would also focus the force on a smaller area without the weapon needing a specific shape.
2963711 I don't think the armor dichotomy works with ponies. We know from the show that the royal guard can cast spells just fine in armor. A game like DnD uses the armor as a balancing factor, but prose doesn't need that restriction to make an engaging fight scene.
I agree that there might be gradations based on unicorn ability though. You have basic troops who are best with TK, and then the advanced cavalry and artillery who can do the impressive laser stuff.
2964836 First off one way to fix issues with a sawblade weapon would be magic, just a little jolt of magic power and the blades pop out and lock in position, then retract when he magic is removed. Also it can be used as a shield as well.
As to armor, another thing to think about is it makes sense to assume all unicorn armor is enchanted. This might mean it dodn't matter how thick it is or how much it covers, it still acts like full plate. Or even better. In fact logically one reason for bigger weapons is unicorn armor disrupts the fields of other unicorns meaning small weapons don't work, becasue you have to slam your opponent with something heavy enough that it doesn't matter that you're no longer "holding" it. Though maybe small pointy weapons could work, throw them at your opponent max force and hope at least once gets though. There is also the issue of unless it's enchanted your opponent can simply try to steal whatever you're hitting them with. Then there is various other magical effects to add, like every time said weapon hits someone it shocks them, or burns them, or it spreads acid on contact, or so on.
2964836 not really a saw blade ever watch Xena Warrior Princess? basically that. more for cutting flesh then going through bone it can also be smashed into a body to break things,
Regarding plate armor, weight isn't really a huge factor in its use; while reasonably heavy, the weight is distributed across the body in such a way as to minimize encumbrance, and quadrupeds have lots of sturdy body-area to work with. Historically, human knights in full plate armor are perfectly capable of doing cartwheels, fighting for hours, or (IIRC) in one recorded case hand-over-handing their way up a cable to the top of a curtain wall under siege.
The real limiting factor is expense. To be this effective the armor needs to be custom fitted to each individual, which makes it a time and cost bottleneck. With the ridiculous flexibility of pony magic, though... that bottleneck might not exist.
2965318 I intentionally only used mundane/non-magic weapons/equipment in order make the speculation more plausible.
It might be cheap to make enchant items in the MLP verse, that's really more of a headcanon thing. We do see a lot of electronics, and those run on magic according to the writers. All the weapons we see, however, are obviously non-magical. It really depends on how cheap you think magic is. Even mundane weapons are pretty lethal though, so I'm not sure one would need it regardless.
2969850 Xena's weapon is called a "chakram"--though her version had many implausible boomerang properties. :P
3008245 Yes, I did see a youtube video once of someone in replica full plate doing cartwheels. There's also the statistic that full plate is actually lighter in terms of weight than a modern soldier's kit. The bigger problem with full plate is that it limits your ability to see and your ability to respond quickly, which would be important for the sort of combat I've described here. Though I guess the dexterity issue of plate gloves and mail would be less for a pony. And I did mentioned prohibitive cost briefly.
As for magic, see above. How affordable magic is is really up to headcanon. I don't doubt a well-trained elite unicorn could pay for nice armor and then use a sensory/vision spell to help mitigate its disadvantages, but that's even more specualtive than what is already here
3008293 More like pinball quality's should of known you would know it's name XD.
i'm go watch it then some kevin sorbo.