Who was that character in Belle of the 7.62x51mm Ball? · 3:30am Mar 30th, 2015
I got a lot of questions on this, so let's take a look, shall we? Spoilers, obviously.
The story stars Belle, from Beauty and the Beast, the 1991 Disney film. Hopefully you knew that, if you read this story.
Where the lightning had struck the ground, a woman with absurdly muscular legs crouched in a combat stance, quickly scanning the forest until she made eye contact with Belle.
This, as you find out a few moments later, is Chun-Li. She is from the 1991 arcade (and later Super Nintendo) game Street Fighter II.
A loud droning noise drew their eyes upwards, where five tube-shaped machines with square wings were crossing the sky.
Chun-Li held a hand above her eyes and squinted at the machines. “Are those… torpedo bombers? From World War Two?”
These would be Flight 19, a group of Grumman Avenger torpedo bombers, lost in the Bermuda Triangle in 1945.
And, of course, the next character introduces herself right away:
The trio turned and looked at the source of the country drawl. It was a short woman, holding a rifle to her shoulder, backing toward them while sweeping her weapon back and forth across the woods. She stole a glance over her shoulder and grinned. “Eighteen-ninety-nine. Annie Oakley. Hate to ruin the party, but somethin’s huntin’ out here, so why don’t we add some pep to our step?”
Annie Oakley was a famous figure in US history. She was one of the greatest exhibition shooters in American history, and I think she'd be a big hit in Equestria. I think she'd love it, too.
They walked past an orange pony with a wide-brimmed hat who was busy arguing with a pair of men in black suits and bright blue gloves.
Two by two, hands of blue... from Firefly.
As they entered town, they saw a cafe with some mushroom-shaped outdoor tables, where a pony waiter was wrestling with a short man in a red hat and a big black mustache.
Belle looked to the other side of the street, where a man in a pastel suit was being ushered out of another restaurant. When he turned around, Belle jumped as she saw his green skin and the tiny red horns sticking out of his forehead. He saw the startled look on her face and reached out a green hand to her shoulder. “Believe me, sister, this isn’t the worst alternate dimension I’ve been to, but I hope you’re not looking for anybody who can make a decent Sea Breeze.”
"By the way, honey, you've got a lovely singing voice."
An incredibly purple unicorn trotted past, and Lumière’s eyes followed the three diamonds on her flank.
I shouldn't have to tell you this one.
Just then, a golden man hobbled stiffly past, muttering, “Oh, dear.” He was followed by half a dozen miniature bears carrying wooden spears.
"Treeto dobra ee soy yota ab buno nokka."
Rarity pointed to a pair of boots by the door. “A man came by earlier asking for some shoes, even though he had a pair in his hands. He said, ah, he had found the ‘one terrorist with feet smaller than his sister,’ whatever that means.
As they stepped out the door, something like a wagon came careening around the corner with a loud growl very much like the airplanes. It passed by in a cloud of dust, and Belle thought she saw a huge toad in the front seat, grinning maniacally beneath a pair of goggles.
Mister Toad, from The Wind in the Willows.
Before long, an elderly man in a long white coat shuffled up to a podium and adjusted the thick glasses that completely hid his eyes. He spoke in a loud but wavering voice. “Good news, everyone! Twilight Sporkle has studied the interdimensional quantum inverted singularity, and will be here in just a moment to—”
"I've invented a device that will make you read this in my voice."
Every eye turned to the woman hobbling up to rear of the crowd. She could have looked like a kindly grandmother if there hadn’t been blood splattered across the snowmen and Christmas trees on her sweater. She planted her stiff leg and spoke loud enough for the entire crowd to hear. “That bastard Ray betrayed us!”
This one raised a lot of questions. You don't need to know who she is, or where she's from. She's there to inform the characters (and the reader) that there is a monster threat. However, the character Dorcas, and the story surrounding Ray Shackleford and the ill-fated Christmas Party, is from the exceptional novel Monster Hunter International. You can read more about it, and even read the first several chapters at that link. I highly recommend it, and all its sequels. And everything else he's ever written.
Dorcas put a hand over her heart and sighed. Then she looked at the crusty blood on her hand, wiped it on her pants, and went back to smiling. “That wasn’t Sean Connery. That was” —she lowered her voice and affected a fake British accent— “Bond, James Bond.”
I really hope you guys don't need help on this one.
As they rounded the last bend on the outskirts of town, a pair of lanky stallions came into view, wearing identical hats and pulling a roofed wagon.
Flim and Flam, obviously.
Belle followed Applejack’s confused gaze down the road to a pair of men arguing as they slowly made their way down the road to the forest. One, wearing a brown suit, was touching the tip of every fencepost as he walked past, scrupulously avoiding any muddy spots in the road.
“…didn’t, because you noticed the scuff marks on the trap door.”
The other man placed his fingertips to his temple and said, “You’re just jealous of my psychic powers, Jack.”
“It’s Adrian. And I saw you notice the scuff marks. I—” He stopped and reached out to the other man’s shirt, straightening his collar. “You’ll thank me later.”
This pair is Adrian Monk, OCD detective (Monk) vs. Shawn Spencer, fake psychic detective (Psych).
A muscular black man with a gold crest on his forehead looked down at Applejack and raised one eyebrow. “Indeed.”
"Things will not calm down, O'Neill. They will in fact calm up."
Annie jumped over a pile of oozing exoskeletons and made her way to a boxy metal carriage. It had a picture of a bear’s pawprint on the side, and there were pieces of men scattered around, each with an identical image on their shoulders or hats.
Belle glanced at the trees only a hundred feet away. A man-sized turtle was busy chopping up monsters with a pair of swords.
How many dual-sword-wielding, man-sized turtles could there possibly be?
I think that's it. I hope y'all found that enlightening. Were there any cameos I missed? And who, in your opinion, should I have included in the story?
If you like Shawn Spencer check out https://www.fimfiction.net/story/4631/magic-and-mayhem-and-murder-oh-my Really amazing crossover adventure story!
2923761 I had no idea there was a Psych crossover! My wife is going to love this one...
2924114 It stood out to me in just how well it characterized all of the characters, especially Shawn himself.
Man, I got so few of those. D: My only other question is, what were the orange alien bugs?
4157708 The bugs were also from MHI. The Christmas Party was interrupted by (MAJOR MHI spoilers - the book is absolutely worth reading) an extradimensional portal accidentally created by Ray Shackleford (the owner of MHI) during an attempt to resurrect his deceased wife.
My only disappointment was the lack of Godzilla or Gamera, but I understand that the inclusion of either of the kaiju defenders would have eliminated the need for Belle's Crowning Moment of Awesome, so all is forgiven.
EDIT:
4158337
I thought it was a reference to the bugs from Starship Troopers.
5170342
Yeah, the description was pretty close! But the bugs were from the Christmas party that's a major plot point in MHI, and I needed something that could cause a cross-dimensional rift, and MHI's ill-fated Christmas party was it!