• Member Since 16th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 7th, 2018


Give me an eternity, I'll give you an update!

More Blog Posts689

  • 59 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Molt Down

    This week is a Spike episode? What a re-”molt”-ing development this is!

    Let's look at “Molt Down,” the episode that will surely be perfectly normal and have no long-lasting repercussions on a character's appearance.

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    2 comments · 838 views
  • 60 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Break Up Break Down

    I dread going into this week's episode. For today, we discuss matters of the heart. Romance, love, heartbreak, and all that rot. Which means we run right into the most loathsome of all fandom constructs, the kind of thing that destroys friendships and leaves the most brilliant of minds curled up helplessly in a corner, foaming from the mouth:


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    6 comments · 557 views
  • 61 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Non-Compete Clause

    We've had a string of good episodes the last few weeks. Whether it be shapeshifting seaponies, an actual Celestia episode, or discovering Starlight's dark phase, we've had lots of fun and plenty of laughs.

    Today's episode is about Applejack and Rainbow Dash competing.

    The good times are over.

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    7 comments · 584 views
  • 62 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: The Parent Map

    Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone who cares about that! What better way to spend the day than watching a cartoon about horses dealing with their mommy/daddy issues? Well, tough, because that's what we're doing. This is “The Parent Map.”

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    4 comments · 401 views
  • 63 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Horse Play

    So hey, it's a new episode. Surely nothing to be excited about. Just another standard episode of a cartoon pony show.

    Only it's a CELESTIA EPISODE!

    Prepare for extra spicy biased scoring as we look at Best Princess' newest episode, “Horse Play!”

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    5 comments · 471 views

Comic Review: Issue #28 (The Revenge of Everfree, Part 2) · 3:38am Mar 19th, 2015

At long last, the finale for the latest story arc has reached store shelves. Can our intrepid ponies save their home from those vile, racist, evil, disgusting, preachy-as-heck deer? Or will the wretched curse that is the theme park industry bring doom to all of Equestria?

We pick up immediately where the last issue left off. Celestia and Luna have freed themselves from the vines and sent correspondence back to Twilight about the situation, while Zecora's attempts to stop the rampant plant growth have come to naught. Aspen is still insistent on destroying the ponies who are obviously behind everything with their tree-hating ways, and after some more attempts to persuade the minotaur Well-To-Do to give up fail, he finally just says they're being thrown out of the hidden deer village the next morning. So far, so bad.

That's when things take a wee bit of a turn. Turns out Well-To-Do has gotten some sort of smoothie mix...and it somehow works just like the deer potions, only it still works on the supposedly toxic land. When Bramble discovers this, he's kidnapped by the minotaur, who is now ready to initiate his grand plan to make Aspen his toady, remove the deer resistance to his park, and make himself rich. Can the ponies and deer stop the real enemy: capitalism?

This issue starts just as bad as the last one, echoing the same themes and kicking the Mane 6 around for the sake of comedy. About the only amusing moment is when Twilight tries to revoke Well-To-Do's right to sell merchandise in her likeness, only to reveal that he's created a totally original pony, Twilight Sporkle, who looks like Twilight but has a different face so they are completely original do not steal. The deer are still racist elves that take missed messages (which we see are being intercepted by one of Well-To-Do's goons) as a sign that the ponies are guilty and don't, you know, go in person to see what's up with Celestia.

Things pick up, however, when Well-To-Do goes from a standard businessman archetype to Looten Plunder from Captain Planet. He essentially turns the elven-king into his park's mascot by holding his son hostage, keeps trying to bribe others into supporting him, and when everyone finally has enough of his crap, goes into a grand speech about how all he cares about is money and progress and everyone had just better give up.

This would be unforgivably bad if it weren't accompanied by Blackthorn, the other deer we saw last issue briefly, taking control of the now-leaderless deer and, in a matter of moments, starting the entire species on the road to redemption by having the ponies form an army of Everfree monsters to wreck Well-To-Do's crew of bulldozers. And by bulldozers, I mean carts and wagons shaped like bulldozers that are pushed and pulled by ponies. They even have to make their own beeping noises when backing up. The issue ends with a not-quite-epic-but-still-amusing brawl where our heroes fend off Well-To-Do's forces while knocking all those smoothie barrels over, bathing the land in toxic Miracle-Gro and saving the day.

...Okay, the smoothie crap was really dumb and rushed. And why didn't the deer potions work again? The comic had better do something to distract me from this plot hole. You know, like killing the villain in a gruesome fashion. Which they proceed to do.

Well-To-Do, a ruthless businessman obsessed with progress and money, is devoured by a hydra. The scene was apparently so graphic that they had to censor the panel, much like the gag they pulled when Chrysalis killed that lovey-bunny thing way back in Issue #3. And while the final gag strip shows the minotaur still alive in the hydra's stomach, it's only a matter of time before digestion kicks in and all that, so...yeah, he's dead.

The issue ends with...well, Celestia apologizing to the deer that destroyed her kingdom because they were racist idiots. (Although to be fair, they are very quickly working to repair everything, with Aspen taking personal responsibility for the clean-up, so it isn't as bad as the time they forgave the kelpie for trying to drown them all on the flimsiest of reasons.) Still, Fluttershy nuzzles Philomena, and that's so adorable that it almost makes it worthwhile.

Overall, this arc was better than the last one, but still very flawed. The first issue was just a mess from start to finish, and while this one toned down the environmentalism after the first third, it still had to carry a lot of the baggage. The villain only becomes enjoyable when he becomes a caricature, and even that's mostly because of how ridiculous he and his comeuppance are. The ponies do very little, which is a bit of a problem considering they're supposed to be the main characters. And the deer...if it weren't for Blackthorn, I'd be advocating exterminatus on their furry hides.

The moral of the story:

Elves suck.

Next issue is about pony wrestling. Here is a brief summation of everything I know about professional wrestling:

See you next week with two comics to look over.

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Comments ( 15 )

It's been awhile since I watched Captain Planet...I remember loving it as a kid. Never absorbed any of the messages, mind. Actually come to think of it I think I mostly watched it because I loved the villains. They were all so deliciously evil (especially Handlebar Mustache Hitler), and as I've established in the past my favorite type of antagonist is Saturday Morning Cartoon Villain. And Captain Planet did it so well...especially Hitler.

(although the history buff in me feels the need to point out that Hitler should have bid Reichsmarks, not Deutschmarks).


Captain Planet is one of those things I watched as a kid, but never really liked. It was just something to turn on when there was nothing else to watch, and even back then, I found a lot of it really dumb. Awesome credits song, though.

Thanks for taking the time to read the comics for us. It's nice to have a review of an arc like this. It's too bad the comics seem to be struggling to be half as good as the show itself, even with less restrictions on what they can do.

Hey IAH you going to look into the Jem comic? It comes out next week!

2890792 Hahaha Maati just headbutt Hitler! Nice! But man, Captain Planet can't even handle standing next to Hitler that's so lame XD

Speaking of Hitler, you ever watched Danger 5? It's on Netflix :pinkiehappy:

That's the only thing you know about wrestling? Blasphemous!

Don't worry, here's everything you need to know summed up in two minutes:

Well let me tell you something brother, this will be totally tubular dude!

Still looks like I won't be adding the arc to my 'verse, at least without some serious changes

Wow!! And I really thought you would hate this comic. I mean it's pretty bad in technical aspect.

Nice Review!

One day, someone will write elves that don't suck. One day.

Elves do indeed suck.

If he wants to learn about wrestling this one would probably do better:


To be perfectly fair, if he really wanted a crash course on wrestling for this comic, he should start watching Lucha Underground, not WWE.

The moral of the story:

Elves suck.

A lesson we can all agree with.

I don't understand why anyone gives these stupid comic the time of day, they look generic and uninteresting and actively say fuck off to their source material. Seriously, it'd be more entertaining to go rewatch Movie 43 The Happening then waste money buying these.

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