On nails, coffins, and finality · 6:03pm Mar 16th, 2015
A friend of mine posted this link to Facebook a few days ago. Fair warning, it's got some unpleasant stuff, including an account of what was almost certainly an attempt at sexual exploitation or assault of a young girl.
This has been eating at me since I first saw it in my feed. I counted myself among the "bronies" fairly early on; I was actually pretty stoked about getting in on the ground floor of a fandom, something I'd never done before. I enjoyed the show unironically, I enjoyed discussing it with other fans, and it even prompted me to try my hand at fanfic (which in turn generated oft-used fanon and even fanart.)
Some time ago, life circumstances and the anxiety and depression they exacerbated caused me to drift away. I stopped working on my stories, I participated less and less in the fan discussions, I even fell behind on watching the show and eventually stopped completely. As my mental health improved with treatment, I kept thinking that I should get back into the fandom: Catch up on the episodes I've missed, maybe get back to work on my ponyfics and at least finish Kraken which I started quite a long time ago.
But I've been hearing some unpleasant things since I lapsed out of bronydom, like the growing presence of MRAs. Even when I was active, the fanart and fanfic scenes had some disturbing trends within them, from "Tyrantlestia" to a range of creepy-as-hell fetishes. Discussion of certain... memorable episodes had produced nasty, toxic arguments, even on boards as tightly moderated as RPGnet. And, of course, there was "Derpygate", where the producers tried to do a shoutout to the fans and got a sickening backlash for their trouble.
And then I see this, and it feels like the final nail in the coffin.
MLP was the first fandom I got to participate in from the beginning, watching from the inside as it formed and defined itself. And it's no longer a fandom I feel any desire to associate with.
I'm gonna go hug my vinyl Derpy figure now.
EDIT: I've already been made aware in comments that the article I linked to is supposedly a fake. I only say "supposedly" because I have no desire to go digging into it and determine if the claim is correct.
Furthermore, I've concluded that it's entirely possible for this whole thing to just be my depression spiking for some reason and the article was just something to latch onto. And for the people telling me to get help, I already am. I've been on Buspar and Prozac for some time now, and they've both been helping a lot.
This...this makes me very sad to hear. I'd go on about how every kids-show-that-has-an-adult-following has to deal with this (hi, Digimon, hello, Teen Titans) and the only reason why it's remarkable amongst bronies is because of our sheer size, how not all bronies are like this, etc., but I expect it's all arguments you've heard before, have weighed, and don't have any interest in hearing again because they just weren't enough for you. And that's alright.
Instead, I just wish you luck in whatever you choose to do next, and as much as you might not like bronies anymore, try to remember that as bad as we were and are, we could occasionally be decent people and produce things that brought at least a modicum of happiness to others - and while you were a part of the fandom, you helped to contribute to that happiness, at least as far as I'm concerned. Ditzy Doo's Dismally Derpy Day and Dinky Debates Dexterity, Destiny, and Dinner are my two favorite pieces of fanfiction - pony or otherwise - and the thought that you won't be writing anything more in that series, even if it was a rather distant hope at this point, still fills me with regret.
But it's your choice, and I suppose that I'll always have Lunaverse Ditzy and Dinky and Sparkler - based off of their appearances in your fics - to spiritually continue on.
Vade en pace, Caesar.
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/252/6/e/request__derpy_and_celestia_by_grenaddas-d5e6f3x.jpg
Oh, that. Long since deemed fake, old enough that right now I forget whether there was no convention in San Francisco at that time or if someone contacted the people in charge and such an incident wouldn't have gone unnoticed if it happened, which it didn't.
Note that the events as described appear to be taking place in a parallel reality in which there is no con security or police to notify.
Don't trust random attention-grabbers on tumblr.
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...wait, that was the fake blog post?! I had assumed that it had slid into obscurity and this was a different one. Where's the place where it was confirmed to be fake? I doubt it will change Claudius' mind since he describes it as just a nail in the coffin, but a link to it being confirmed as fake should still be posted here for posterity.
First and most importantly, best of luck with things. I particularly enjoyed your Derpy stories. Thanks for sharing them with us.
As to your issues with the fandom: any sufficiently large group of people will inevitably contain some scum. Even a vetting by federal agencies wouldn't stop that, given the fact that even they occasionally pick up some very nasty people.
Any fandom, group, whatever that goes on for long enough will collect its own moments of drama, stupid memes, weird fetishes, etc.
Any large group of people not based around a certain worldview will contain people with differing political and philosophical views. Whether you want to single out MRAs, SJWs, or something else entirely, they're all represented in the fandom.
TL;DR: all fandoms, clubs, parties, and groupings of people do that shit.
2882823 I don't have links to that anymore. That post is something like two or three years old (also, the original post is deleted), and it's not easily searchable.
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Wait, it was that old fake? *clicks link; post was deleted, checks archive*
Yup, that old hoax. The originator pulled it after getting called out. Never happened. Dude, you're running from shadows.
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Damnit.
2882832 Oh, I guess I was wrong about the age. Only a year old (april 2014).
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It's not that I've categorically dismissed all bronies, it's... complicated, I guess.
When you participate in a culture, there's only so much you can do to choose exactly who within that culture you associate with or just have to put up with. This is most painfully true with culture at large, which you basically have to engage with if you don't want to be a hermit. There's a lot of assholes out there, and you just have to learn to deal with them, and protect yourself from them. A great many social movements are important because they're attempting to diminish specific forms of assholery (sexism, racism, etc.) because the people affected by them can't just say "screw this" and disengage entirely.
There's plenty of good bronies. I'm still friends to some degree with a few of them. The fact that they're still part of brony culture is not in any way a mark against them. But when a culture in aggregate becomes toxic, and, like a fandom or subculture, it's one that you can disengage from, that decision starts to have some appeal. Even more so when it's not so much a choice to disengage, but to reengage after having been away for some time. Staying away would, at this point, be preserving the status quo, while rejoining is the choice that would take effort, and it doesn't feel worth it right now.
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Like I said, it's your choice. This still hits me hard, though, even if it is coming after a significant hiatus on your part. Will you at least still be following the show itself? Season 5 looks like it will be quite the wild ride.
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That's an interesting revelation. Still, it was as much a reminder of everything I already disliked about the fandom as it was a new thing to dislike.
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I get what you're saying. But the fact is, I'd been out of the fandom for a while already: I stopped watching the show halfway through season 4, my last blog post was a year and a half ago, and my last story update was months before that. After all that time, my first draft of the next chapter of Kraken is a whopping 221 words.
This isn't so much a change as an admission of what already occurred some time ago.
The whole Derpygate thing wasn't because of bronies or even overreacting parents... it is because iTunes demanded the episode to be "fixed" because they feared a backlash and refused to sell the episode for downloads; because Hasbro wanted more money, they changed it. That's it... no drama, no conspiracy, just a corporation doing its job to make money for its shareholders.
If you think the fandom here is bad, try reading forums done by Trekkies, Star Wars fans... Heck, look at forums for Twilight or Frozen: those forums range from better, just as bad, or worse than what you may find for MLP: FiM forums.
Finally, this post CONSTANTLY shows up every now and then when various MLP conventions are happening... its just hatemongering done by those who don't care for a certain group and want them to look bad so others will hate them just as much as they do. Racists have been doing this for YEARS against Africans, Caucasians, Hispanics, etc.
All in all, while I respect your decision to leave the fandom, please don't leave because of slanderous "haters", the more angry and vocal minority in our fandom (just like you might see from the far left or far right of your given political parties), and please don't lump all of us in with the stereotypes like so many others do. Other than that, hope you do well with whatever you endeavor to do.
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...wait, you stopped halfway through Season 4? Man, you missed some gold, then. Even if you don't want to deal with the fandom, I recommend watching at least the rest of Season 4, plus Rainbow Rocks..
Other than that...good luck.
I wrote this post because I thought that if I wasn't going to update anymore my fans deserved to know, and that it might give me a sense of closure. But after reading some of these comments I feel worse than I did before and wish I hadn't said anything at all.
Maybe this just means I'm not out of the woods with my depression.
I can totally understand losing interest in the show, and even more losing interest in the fandom. But, as said, this particular claim was a fake, so try and not let it sour you overmuch on bronies.
Anyway! I'll miss Kraken, but the first rule of fandoms, if you ask me, is that being a fan should be fun. If it becomes a source of stress or anxiety or starts feeling like a duty, it's time to step away. Maybe temporarily, maybe permanently. Whatever you choose, however, I wish you best of luck and good times, and thank you for the good stuff you wrote.
2882932 Having depression is a serious thing, and as a survivor of severe depression, I please urge you to not only take a break from this fandom (or anything else that gives you stress) but to please seek professional help in the form of psychologists and psychiatrists.
Back when I was in my early teens, a mixture of moving to a new home out of state, a lack of any friends in my new home town, and chemical imbalances in my mind due to changing hormones brought me to the conclusion that suicide was the ONLY answer to end my suffering. Needless to say, had there been a gun in the household instead of a knife, we wouldn't be talking right now. As it is, I have scars on me that I keep as a reminder of my worst time in my life and how I got over it. All I ever saw was the negative in everything, my mind refusing to acknowledge the good things in my life.
The first step is admitting you have depression (which you've admitted). Second, inform your friends and family so that they can support you in these trying times. Third, again, seek professional help... I needed group, one-on-one, and prescription therapy for years, but with the help of my loved ones, I can say I am a happy and adjusted 30 ear old now who can deal with all life slings my way, both good and ill.
Anyways, please take a break from the fandom since all you can see is the bad and it is affecting you emotionally. We will gladly wait for your return or wish you the best if you decide to stay out of it in the future.
2882932 Sorry to hear about that bit. :( If it's not for you anymore, then all right. But your Ditzy is my Ditzy, for the record. ;) You're an awesome guy.
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There's nothing wrong with quitting, dude. The real problem is that you're trying to rationalize your decision based on irrelevant external factors.
If you want to quit, quit. Heck, I'm pretty sure you already have done so. But rationalization is unhealthy. When you make a decision, know why you're making it; don't pretend like it is for some reason other than the real one. Rationalization is an unhealthy mindset that prevents you from being self-aware and growing as a person.
Good luck with your life! I liked a few of your stories, but you're under no obligation at all to continue. Just don't forget that you can write anything at all, if it so pleases you.
Entirely your choice. I'm sad to see a great author of best pony go, but this appears to be less an in-person farewell and more an explanatory postcard. Good luck with whatever you do in the future.
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Multi-post reply to steer people towards the edit I just made.
Glad to know you're getting help :D