• Member Since 12th Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen May 8th, 2019


Writer of truly pornographic shorts. If you let your kid read my stuff, you are a bad parent. I don't feed the trolls.

More Blog Posts4

  • 454 weeks
    Commenting on "Twilight Sparkle Eats Shit"

    I'm bemused by the response. Which means yes, I broke my rule about reading comments/PMs. But I think it revealed a deeper truth about all of you, and that amuses me greatly.

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    2 comments · 317 views
  • 456 weeks
    Less of the FOE

    So I disappeared for what, six months? Might as well explain why.

    See, the thing is, I can't get off on shit when the girl isn't having at least as much fun as me, preferably more.

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    2 comments · 323 views
  • 489 weeks
    All stories are non-canon

    Just a note here -

    I'm a fan of FoE, not one of its contributors, designers or creators.

    All of the stuff I write is not canonical. While it is set in the FoE universe, it is a fan work, and nothing I write will become part of the FoE "canon."

    Also, as stated earlier, I do not read comments or PMs, so I am going to presume all of them are overwhelmingly positive.

    1 comments · 354 views
  • 489 weeks
    Now Writing Fall of Equestria Stories

    This account was specifically created for writing Fall of Equestria stories.

    Because of the controversial nature of Fall of Equestria, this account will comment on nothing, PM no one, reply to nothing, watch no one, and fave no story.

    Those of you who are here for the right reasons, enjoy yourselves. Those of you who are here for the wrong reasons, I'm not listening.

    4 comments · 396 views

Commenting on "Twilight Sparkle Eats Shit" · 3:55pm Mar 16th, 2015

I'm bemused by the response. Which means yes, I broke my rule about reading comments/PMs. But I think it revealed a deeper truth about all of you, and that amuses me greatly.

I've always hated "trollfics" like "Rainbow Factory" and "Cupcakes". The worst thing a writer can be is disingenuous, and trollfics are stories which only work because they are a lie. If you knew what they were about going in, you wouldn't read it, because it's disgusting and offensive. And yet, because the author chose to lie about the content, these trollfics are some of the most well-read and famous stories in the fandom.

I went in and wrote a story that was exactly what it says on the tin: Twilight Sparkle eats shit. I was absolutely unambiguous about the content. And yet, I put my best effort forth, and wrote something that was way, way better than it needed to be. The writing, spelling and grammar were leaps and bounds beyond any trollfic I've seen, and I even managed to almost not break character. Twilight acted like Twilight, Luna acted like Luna, and Celestia was trolling like a boss as usual.

And yet everyone heaps hate on it like it's an insult to their mother. Why? It is exactly what I said it would be. If you don't want to read a (literally) shitty clopfic, why are you here? I didn't trick you into reading this. Hell, I put up big warning signs asking you NOT to read it. So why u mad, bro?

Because you wanted me to lie to you. You would rather read a story where Pinkie Pie tortures her best friend Rainbow Dash to a horrible, slow death than one where Twilight enjoys eating Celestia's poop because the latter told you that would happen. And you'll show it to all your friends, lying to them about the content as well. Think about that for a minute.

I could have lied about the content in the story with a deceptive title and description. This would have resulted in more views, certainly, and enabled the fic to be passed around as a trollfic all over the fandom. I could have earned some minor infamy and maybe even exploited it. But that would mean I'd have to be dishonest, and that's the kind of evil even Dick Dastardly can't abide.

So go on and hate "Twilight Sparkle Eats Shit." It is a literally shitty story, and it was written with the full intention that you would hate it. But just remember: I could have lied to you. And I didn't. And you're mad at me for that. What does that say about you?


P.S. To the people who aren't into coprophilia who finished it: you need to re-examine your ability to make healthy life choices.

Report DickDastardly · 317 views · Story: Twilight Sparkle Eats Shit ·
Comments ( 2 )

I don't necessarily agree with every single sentence and it's intent, but I respected this post, and saw the logic being applied. Then you took a shot at the very end. Don't get me wrong, I question some of my life choices, but I didn't click finish your story due to weakness or stupidity. It was a task I'd put forward for myself. I've gained different kinds of pleasure from stories on fimfiction, some by you, that most would consider to be far more disturbing than some coprophilia. I've learned to ignore the intent of shaming, and the emotion of unguarded anger from people sitting on the other side of my computer screen, for my actions and thoughts that harm no one. By reading this story, which seemed well composed, and that you'd expressed preference for in an earlier post, I decided this was the perfect time to put my money where my mouth was. To get a face full of something that I ultimately decided wasn't for me, but still adhering to my singular standards and not insulting anyone, or making an ass of my online persona.

Not gonna read the story (not my cup of tea, not sure how it's anybody's, but not understanding doesn't make it wrong), but I am simultaneously surprised and not surprised at the apparent response you got. The only reason a person would read the story and be upset is if they went in planning to be outraged. Admittedly that's something people do all the time, but it still seems strange.

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