Hie Rant #3 · 2:18am Mar 5th, 2015
Today's topic? Anonymous.
I get that this is kind of a popular meme/pun/thing at the moment, but really, if you're writing a halfway serious story, don't do this. Just...don't.
Even if your story is a gratuitous self-insert and you're not keen on putting your actual name in there, fine. Just...change it. Call him Bob. Tim. Julio. SOMETHING. It's like a little thing that kicks me out of the story while I'm reading it. You can have a great story, fabulous diction, amazing pacing...and then:
"Hey, Anon, can I talk to you a sec?"
AHHHHHHHGH!
Just giving the guy/gal a name gives your story the patina of legitimacy and I'm willing to take it more seriously. Anonymous is the province of "I had a funny idea and I'm gonna shit out a 2,500 word comedy/clopfic/random scene that I don't expect you to remember 30 minutes from now."
Seriously, I hate it that bad. It's your call, dude, but giving your protagonist a real name makes me buy into your world that much more, and I'm willing to open up my feels for you. Think of it from an economic standpoint: call him/her Tim/Tammy. Both of which are shorter than "Anonymous." Think of how many fewer times you have to write out that long-ass word instead of the real-person name.
And don't even get me started on the diminutive "Anon/Nonny" crap. I just..no. And no. And NO.
Seconded.
I think the first time I read a story where the protag was 'Anon' was back in 2011, and it was cute.
Here we are 4 years later and it just shows that you may take time creating a perfect world with perfect everything, but you cant take five seconds out of your day to go to a random name generator.
Fuck anonymous.
I think it's partly to try and fit in with the "cool" crowd over on /mlp/. Most of the stuff I've glanced at that uses it is of the sort that tries and fails to use popular /mlp/ tropes to hide the fact that they're writing a self-insert without really caring much about it.
They are the wispy little half-ass apologetic farts of the ponyfic world. If you're going to release an abomination, you'd better go big and own it. Otherwise, buddy, it had better smell like roses.
Happy Saturday, Dashie. I'm still stuck in Houston, so this is what you get! :D