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Admiral Biscuit


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More Blog Posts890

  • Tuesday
    March Music Monday 4

    March Music Monday 4

    For all the :yay: . . . guff I pile on my manager, he occasionally dispenses pearls of wisdom, or names songs that it turns out that I really, really like.


    Source

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    26 comments · 162 views
  • 1 week
    March Music Monday 3

    I think I mentioned in the first one of these that my manager always plays the same top-40 Country station all day every day.


    Source

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    14 comments · 209 views
  • 2 weeks
    March Music Monday 2

    Alrighty fellow music lovers, it's another Monday in March, and you know what that means!

    ... 'cause you read the title :heart:


    Source

    This one doesn't have as much of a back story.

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    9 comments · 211 views
  • 3 weeks
    March Music Monday 1

    This is pretty much what it says on the tin.

    See, ponies like music, I think that's pretty well-established canon. I like music, too, and I thought I'd introduce you to some music you might not have heard before. After all, I've been introduced to music by other people through the years, oftentimes something I'd never have found on my own.

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    29 comments · 295 views
  • 5 weeks
    MECHANIC: The Most Boring One Yet

    I hesitate to even suggest you grab your favorite beverage, you're just gonna skim this one. But, if you're game:


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    17 comments · 318 views
Feb
19th
2015

A Taxing Evening notes · 1:58am Feb 19th, 2015

A Taxing Evening Notes

Just recently, I had to pay my property tax. I'd lost the form, so I went down to the township treasurer's office.

Last October, our township voted (foolishly, in my opinion) to disband the police department, and let the county handle it.

The guy in front of me was debating his tax bill with the treasurer; specifically, he was arguing about how he still had to pay taxes for the police department. As any reasonable person would know, there is a period of time when something has been voted on but not acted upon yet—contracts need to expire and not be renewed, or whatever. Heck, even the President has to wait a couple of months after he's elected before he's briefed about the aliens sworn in. So on this tax bill, we still have to pay for the police department; on the next, we won't.

Property tax, in case you didn't know, is a percentage of the assessed value of the property. It's usually expressed in mills, or the amount per thousand.

After about the fourth time the treasurer had said the same thing to this guy, she pulled up his tax bill, and pointed out that paying for his share of the police department only cost $1.48.

He wasn't impressed. He thought that was too much.

And thus a story was born.


As always, I owe a huge thanks to my pre-readers: AshadowOfCyguns, metallusionismagic, and MSPiper. EDIT: MSPiper suggested the title.


Written Script is a background stallion. It's kind of canon that he and Golden Harvest have a thing for each other.


Franking is technically any marking for postage, but in my experience, it's generally used to refer to mail which doesn't get a stamp, but instead the signature of a government official. In the US, representatives get a franking privilege, and soldiers have in wartime, as well.


My township treasurer's office (and I'd imagine, most of them) has a map on the wall of all the properties in the township. Differently-zoned types are different color, from high-density housing, to agricultural land, and they're all taxed at different rates. It stands to reason the same would hold true in Equestria. It would be unfair to value the land at Sweet Apple Acres on the same per-acre basis as, say, Filthy Rich's Barnyard Bargains.

It's also logical to assume that cloudhouses have to pay some tax. Obviously, they aren't hooked into town resources (we don't see any pipes leading up to Rainbow's house, for example). But their foals would still attend Ponyville schools, they would still go to the hospital if they're sick, and so forth.

Here's a sample map if you want to explore. I'm just including the link, because it's a huge file. You'll note that if you zoom in, individual properties are marked.


In a democracy, even if you, personally, voted against something, you're still responsible for paying taxes on it if the majority approved it. It's irrelevant whether or not you used it.

I could get offended that my neighbor has benefited more from the local fire department than I have (his house burned down, and fire trucks came; mine hasn't, and they haven't), but I'm just glad that the service is there, even if I've never personally had a need of it. Ditto for the schools. I don't have any children, but I'm willing to pay my fair share to ensure that other people's children are educated.


A fire engine isn't specifically a modern truck; horse-drawn versions were also called fire engines. I haven't yet seen any fics which cover firefighting in canon Equestria, but I'd guess that they'd have a pumper, probably with ladders aboard, and a tank trailer to get things started, until the pegasi could get a supply of rainclouds going.

It's also worth noting that the fire department would want to keep steam up in the boiler. Unlike a gasoline engine, a steam engine takes a while to get going, and that's not what you want when you're fighting a fire. I don't know about steam fire engines specifically, but in the case of locomotives and railroad cranes, they were kept hooked up to a shop supply of steam if they wanted to keep them ready. When they were needed, it was a simple matter to build a fire in the firebox; the water was already hot and ready to go.


Properties are re-valued with some frequency. I don't know if it's annually, or every other year, but I do know I get a letter in the mail each time. This has no effect on a mortgage, although it can be advantageous, as it basically gives a homeowner more equity in the home without paying a dime. Of course, the reverse is true if the value falls.


Paying in kind basically means that instead of paying money, goods can also be used to pay off a tax bill. In feudal Europe, for example, farmers would give a portion of their crops to the lord. In this case, the miller is giving a certain percentage of her flour to the Crown, in lieu of paying taxes.

Obviously, it wouldn't be practical for her to save up that flour all year long, and then drag ten tons down to the treasurer's office, so she's been estimating how much she'll owe throughout the year, and sending it with her regular shipments; in turn, it gets sent to the Guards, or to other governmental outposts, or if the Crown has a surplus, they would sell it on the open market before it went bad.

When the books are reviewed at tax time, she'll have to pay any shortcoming, or get a credit towards the future if she paid too much.

While such a system is probably unworkable in modern society, there are some ways in which it might work out: volunteer work, for example. A person who didn't want to pay cash for their tax could instead mow lawns at local parks, or shovel sidewalks, or something for a certain rate per hour of work.


Squash keeps for a long time: Butternut squash can keep for more than three months withiout earth pony magic.


Berrow, or G.M. Berrow as she's more commonly known, is an author of MLP stories, including the Daring Do books. I don't know her first or middle name, so I couldn't ponify it.

Report Admiral Biscuit · 2,306 views ·
Comments ( 68 )

Premature e-blogulation?

Berrow looks weird in that picture. Her tail is way back there, but her hind hooves are way up front. Like they wanted to make her sit human style, with hind legs crossed, but put her rump in anyways so she could lay on her belly like a pony.

2809497

Premature e-blogulation?

I'm at the mercy of the pre-readers....

Berrow looks weird in that picture. Her tail is way back there, but her hind hooves are way up front. Like they wanted to make her sit human style, with hind legs crossed, but put her rump in anyways so she could lay on her belly like a pony.

Huh. I hadn't noticed that. Now it's all I can see.

After about the fourth time the treasurer had said the same thing to this guy, she pulled up his tax bill, and pointed out that paying for his share of the police department only cost $1.48.

He wasn't impressed. He thought that was too much.

His share of the taxes was only $1.48, and he thinks that that's too much?!

All I can say is, this man is insane.

Or stupid.

Take your pick.

2809506

Now it's all I can see.

Honestly, the first thing that popped into my head, even before I could register why the picture made me think this, was that she somehow had more than four legs. It's the only logical explanation for hooves to be in that location. So she's either a spider pony, or related to Sleipnir.

2809513

His share of the taxes was only $1.48, and he thinks that that's too much?!

I think it was more the principle of having to pay anything than the actual dollar amount, but yeah. I had a couple dollar coins in my pocket; I was tempted to throw them at him to shut him up.

I'm willing to pay my fair share to ensure that other people's children are educated.

Please. Pay more.

I love how much research you do... and having to do light research for what I'm working on I'm amazed that you post as often as you do.

2809528 Probably.

And I don't blame you there. I would've felt the same way.

I always read that they simply kept the fire going in the roundhouses all night. I think the night engineman just kept an eye on coal and water supplies for the locomotives. I'm not entirely sure where you could admit steam into a live boiler. Presumably you would have to have some sort of arrangement in the steam dome.

Also, Berrow must have six legs. Or a rump extension

2809532

Please. Pay more.

It actually used to be the single largest portion of my property tax bill. That bond issue failed, and they had to make some cutbacks in the district. I voted for it (even though I also hate paying taxes), but I guess this time around the cheap bastards won the day.

I love how much research you do... and having to do light research for what I'm working on I'm amazed that you post as often as you do.

A lot of it is honestly quite quick research. Like, I've got a pretty good idea how it works, and then just have to look up a few details. It's much harder when I'm working from scratch (Silver Spanner Gets Her Cutie Mark, for example). Also, unlike the ponies portrayed in the story, I do know how my taxes work, and about the property valuation, and all those other things.

2809618

I always read that they simply kept the fire going in the roundhouses all night. I think the night engineman just kept an eye on coal and water supplies for the locomotives. I'm not entirely sure where you could admit steam into a live boiler. Presumably you would have to have some sort of arrangement in the steam dome.

It depended on the yard. Some larger yards had stationary boilers (which they also used for heat in the wintertime), and equipment could be hooked to that by a steam line, so that the water would stay hot. The railroad cranes were kept that way; when they were needed, a fire was quickly built in their firebox, but it didn't have to do as much work, since the thing was already up to temperature. At large passenger terminals, they had a similar arrangement for the passenger coaches, which were also heated by steam. For that matter, there were even some industrial steam locomotives that didn't have fireboxes; they were recharged with steam from the plant.

FWIW, automobile engines need to be at a certain temperature to operate the most efficiently. This is a real problem for hybrids, because the engine doesn't stay running all the time. Toyota got around that by using a coolant thermos, which allows them to keep the engine coolant up to temperature for days, and also surprise any technician working on the cooling system who doesn't know it's there.

Yeah, I'm doing the same thing with flight for my current story, mostly some research on altitudes. Things I don't remember exact numbers on but don't want to have to go back and correct after posting. For example did you know that a Rüppell's vulture has a recorded maximum altitude of around twice that of the highest permanent settlement on earth.

Fics like this always kinda bug me because we get to see a character like Blossomforth and Caramel acting badly and get away with it. I like to see such things get a resolution and comeuppance.:twilightsheepish:

2809733
Fireless locos are fun. I've always liked compressed air locomotives, which do resemble them somewhat, though no steam engineer ever had to worry about his running gear freezing solid from the temperature of the working fluid!

2809782
I could write another chapter where Caramel's house burns down, and Blossomforth moves her home over the Everfree, and then is eaten by a hydra.

I also joking suggested in the draft that if the story didn't have the heartwarming ending, it would end with Written Script murdering somepony. My pre-readers offered the following:

Mares of Diomedes II: The Taxening.
"This summer... Ponyville gets a tax cut."

2809797

though no steam engineer ever had to worry about his running gear freezing solid from the temperature of the working fluid!

Back in the late 50s or early 60s, someone built an O-scale live steam locomotive which ran on dry ice. The mechanism freezing was a constant problem, of course, but when it was going, it pulled better than an equivalent Lionel magnetraction locomotive.

2809832

Mares of Diomedes II: The Taxening.
"This summer... Ponyville gets a tax cut."

... I WILL PAY YOU TO WRITE THIS. How much?

including the Daring Do books.

Wait, those a real?

/googles furiously

:rainbowderp:

I'll have to read this one later!

I've actually had plans to incorporate Equestrian income tax season into one of my fics, and focus another around sales tax. Neither idea has really been put on paper yet. Interestingly, I had also started writing a fic that was basically an interview of several Ponyville people, including the fire chief, who was going to be griping about Ponyville building restrictions that required roofs to be thatched in order to keep up the 'quaint little village' aesthetic. (A couple other ponies I had in mind were the mayor and an insurance adjuster.)

I wonder if pony firefighters would still have dalmations. They'd kind of be a moot point, right?

2810030

:rainbowderp:

I'm not sure why I haven't bought them yet. I really, really should.

2809921

... I WILL PAY YOU TO WRITE THIS. How much?

Believe me, if the muse whispers a way to make it into a comedic gorefic, I won't hesitate for a second to publish.

Yep... Some level of taxation is necessary, but few will ever agree on what is "too much." :trollestia:

I'll have to try planting butternut squash this year. I've been raising "acorn" squash, and seeing them lasting for an entire year while still remaining edible, but those were the great-grand-squash of the original squash I bought at a grocer's a few years ago, and so were weird crossbreeds of unknown pollen-parentage. It's those bees... They get around, y'know? :twilightoops:
According to the websites I've checked, I'd get fewer crossbred squash from butternut. Cucurbita Moschata aren't as promiscuous as those squash-gone-wild Cucurbita Pepo.

2810055

I've actually had plans to incorporate Equestrian income tax season into one of my fics, and focus another around sales tax.

I personally don't see them as having a sales tax, but of course headcanon on that can vary. We don't know either way.

I'd been thinking about it for a while, kinda in the back of my mind. I had a few concepts just sort of floating around, but after listening to that guy in front of me rant, I knew I had to write this thing.

Interestingly, I had also started writing a fic that was basically an interview of several Ponyville people, including the fire chief, who was going to be griping about Ponyville building restrictions that required roofs to be thatched in order to keep up the 'quaint little village' aesthetic.

Yeah, that style of roof probably has some issues with fire, and given that they have wood stoves and fireplaces in canon....I could see that being a potential issue.

Y'know, until I was writing the section on firefighting, I hadn't really thought about how ponies might handle it, but now of course it's kind of in my mind. I mean, they could pretty easily get rainclouds to the fire, and of course if you've got a few pegasi on your crew, you don't really need ladders...

(A couple other ponies I had in mind were the mayor and an insurance adjuster.)

FWIW, I have a started but never finished fic from the POV of a Ponyville insurance adjuster who's doing well, but happens to be out of town during the parasprite incident. And then she comes back....

I wonder if pony firefighters would still have dalmations. They'd kind of be a moot point, right?

Probably, although since AJ's got a dog, I suppose there could be some way to justify it. Maybe dalmations not only get along well with horses, but they also are really good at dragging people out of fires. I'd think a retriever might be a better choice, though.

2810102

Yep... Some level of taxation is necessary, but few will ever agree on what is "too much."

Ain't that the truth?

I'll have to try planting butternut squash this year. I've been raising "acorn" squash, and seeing them lasting for an entire year while still remaining edible, but those were the great-grand-squash of the original squash I bought at a grocer's a few years ago, and so were weird crossbreeds of unknown pollen-parentage. It's those bees... They get around, y'know?

We used to grow acorn squash. I really need to start growing stuff again. I just kind of forget about it, so I prefer plants that don't need me, like raspberries.

We also had the zucchini cross with the cucumbers one year, when I was a kid. The offspring looked like a cucumber, but tasted like a zucchini. That was awful.

2809513

All I can say is, this man is insane.
Or stupid.
Take your pick.

Why not both? They go so well together. :rainbowwild:

2809921
2810092

Mares of Diomedes II: The Taxening.
"This summer... Ponyville gets a tax cut."

Believe me, if the muse whispers a way to make it into a comedic gorefic, I won't hesitate for a second to publish.

Do it, Admiral, and I swear to God, you'll be looking at another Scootaloo and Celestia. Can you really live with something like that on your conscience? :derpytongue2:

2810189 Hmmmm, good point.

Two good points, actually.

2810110 Rainclouds may soak the *outside* of a house, but most house fires take place on the *inside* until they burn through the roof, and most houses are designed to keep the water on the outside. About the only thing you can do with the raincloud is keep the neighbors from catching on fire. That engine and some hose would be critical to save the house and the ponies inside.

I'm writing a (small) fic with a (small) sidewheel steamship, and I may see if I can twist your arm to take a critical steam-related technology peek at it before it eventually hits publication. It seems that a mixture of magic and technology fits well with steam, particularly when it comes to idiots who tie down the steam relief valve to get more pressure.

2810110 Well, the way I see it, especially in Ponyville (a self-proclaimed earth pony town) the local fire house would probably have a fire engine pump thingy, ladders, and all the trimmings of fire house staffed by just earth ponies, regardless of how many pegasi or unicorns might be in the department. Celestia only knows why Cloudsdale would even have a fire department. And it's quite possible Canterlot has a load of skilled unicorns with like... fire-smothering spells, or something, to combat fire. Though personally, I like to think that those highly-magically-skilled unicorns would probably be rare, and those that do exist are all probably snooty scholarly types, rather than firefighters. Not to say that a fire house or two might happen to have a unicorn on the team that just so happens to have the special talent of extinguishing fire with magic.

Also, given that clouds are apparently manufactured, they might not always be available to use for fire fighting.

It's always really confused me, the way some people look at things.

Everybody complains that they pay too much in taxes, but nobody complains that the fees for the Homeowners' Association are too high, despite the fact that taxes inarguably pay for more and better services.

By paying taxes, I get to use roads that aren't full of holes.

By paying HOA fees, I got to watch the removal of an "unsightly" tree that I otherwise had no problems with, and that wasn't posing any problems by way of its branches or root system, and was not going to do so at any time within 20 years, by a landscaping company managed by one of the board members.

I haven't yet seen any fics which cover firefighting in canon Equestria,

Here you go!

2810335 See, the thing is, I pay taxes so I can use roads that are full of holes. So I can have police officers harrass me for driving a shitty car, and give me tickets for stupid things that won't hold up in court, just because they have nothing better to do. I pay taxes so that a fucking drunk illegal alien without a driver's license gets to walk away scott-free from a vehicular manslaughter. The government fucking sucks, and misallocates money to career politicians' pockets. That's why people bitch.

And honestly, fuck hoa fees. I would never live in a condo, town house, or gated community. I'll mow my own damn lawn, tyvm.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

I don't know her first or middle name, so I couldn't ponify it.

Seriously, Game Master.

2810110 Equestria most likely has tariffs and taxes on specific goods. I would be surprised to see a tradesmare put up with any increased fees on her work or service, but taxing imported goods or vices (gambling, opium, ect.) seems likely.

2810110

Yeah, that style of roof probably has some issues with fire, and given that they have wood stoves and fireplaces in canon....I could see that being a potential issue.

Interestingly, it seems like the main danger of thatched roofing is actually smoke, not the fire itself. Of course, since a fire's smoke tends to be deadlier than its flames, that's not necessarily a good thing....

FWIW, I have a started but never finished fic from the POV of a Ponyville insurance adjuster who's doing well, but happens to be out of town during the parasprite incident. And then she comes back....

Pirene side story with Leit Motif go!

2810199
You could probably combine the rainclouds with other weather control to increase the effectiveness, though I wouldn't personally go for that in place of a fire engine. Worst case, I imagine the owner would prefer having the roof damaged or ripped off to let water in over the fire destroying everything. (Thus leading to the unique Equestrian idiom "fighting fire with lightning/tornados", referring to the collateral damage that's part of the solution to an even worse problem.)

2810309
I could actually see the Guard doing much or most of firefighting in large cities. Shield spells would be amazing for firefighting - not only for the obvious use of keeping blazing debris from falling on you, but for channeling air/smoke around and separating fuel from oxygen. Once everyone inside had been accounted for, you could just cast a shield over the whole building and wait for the fire to starve itself out and the heat to dissipate away.

And of course, telekinesis would also be pretty helpful: no need to risk going into a burning building to move stuff if you can safely snag it from outside. Depending on the average unicorn's strength, they might need to work in teams to manage a useful range and force, but that'd be a small price to pay. In fact, I could see the government mandating practice of synchronized TK, or at least strongly incentivizing it: every able-magiced unicorn needs to keep up their skills, and whoever does gets payment or other benefits. Exactly how it would work (and how to make it fair for unicorns vs pegasi/earth ponies) would make for an interesting story.

2809832 Pfft. I'd be game for that.

I could get offended that my neighbor has benefited more from the local fire department than I have (his house burned down, and fire trucks came; mine hasn't, and they haven't), but I'm just glad that the service is there, even if I've never personally had a need of it. Ditto for the schools. I don't have any children, but I'm willing to pay my fair share to ensure that other people's children are educated.

I wish more people had as sensible a view as you.

Really should've caught this earlier: one wouldn't normally use a base ten thing like mills in the base twelve system mentioned in your stories. Using the term "mills" to refer to their equivalent would make sense, since there's no practical English equivalent for 1/1728ths[10] that I know of, but it might be better to coin a different term for the concept instead. (Of course, if this isn't intended to be in the same setting as the CSI/OTPP stories, that might not be an issue.)

2810189

Do it, Admiral, and I swear to God, you'll be looking at another Scootaloo and Celestia. Can you really live with something like that on your conscience?

I'm not sure if that is support for, or strongly against. :derpytongue2: At least it't not peaches. I'd love to punch the man who wrote the first peachfic. Oh, wait. It was me.

2810199

Rainclouds may soak the *outside* of a house, but most house fires take place on the *inside* until they burn through the roof, and most houses are designed to keep the water on the outside.

Well, my first thought was that the clouds would be used as a water source for the engine (no need for hydrants, when you can put a raincloud right where you need it), but what's to stop them from shoving a cloud into the house?

About the only thing you can do with the raincloud is keep the neighbors from catching on fire.

Which would be another good use for them.

That engine and some hose would be critical to save the house and the ponies inside.

True; I don't think you'd want to rely solely on pegasus-supplied clouds for your firefighting efforts.

I'm writing a (small) fic with a (small) sidewheel steamship, and I may see if I can twist your arm to take a critical steam-related technology peek at it before it eventually hits publication.

I'm no expert, although I do have some familiarity with the technology. I'd be glad to take a look and tell you what I think.

It seems that a mixture of magic and technology fits well with steam, particularly when it comes to idiots who tie down the steam relief valve to get more pressure.

That works, for a while. And when it fails . . . pressure vessel failures are both horrifying and awesome.

2810309

Celestia only knows why Cloudsdale would even have a fire department.

IIRC, Cloudsdale caught fire after the sailplane crashed through the weather factory in Just Passing Through. Liquid rainbow might have been the cause--so more of a chemical fire than a 'normal' fire. If such accidents were reasonably likely, they'd want some kind of fire patrol. Plus, the furnishings in a cloudhouse could burn, I suppose.

Though personally, I like to think that those highly-magically-skilled unicorns would probably be rare, and those that do exist are all probably snooty scholarly types, rather than firefighters. Not to say that a fire house or two might happen to have a unicorn on the team that just so happens to have the special talent of extinguishing fire with magic.

Canon suggests that spells can be learned, though, so it might not be unreasonable to expect that unicorn firefighters would learn anti-fire spells as part of their firefighting training.

Also, given that clouds are apparently manufactured, they might not always be available to use for fire fighting.

On the other hand, you could have a few rainclouds stocked behind the fire department, for when they're needed. Heck, that could be part of the response: the earth ponies tow the engine, the unicorns start rescue efforts with a few small shield spells, and the pegasi tow the clouds to the scene.

2810335

Everybody complains that they pay too much in taxes, but nobody complains that the fees for the Homeowners' Association are too high, despite the fact that taxes inarguably pay for more and better services.

Luckily, I don't live in a HOA-type community. My neighbor has goats, and I mow the backyard on the rare occasions I feel like it, or want a better view of some of my trucks, or if I'm trying to find that S-10 transmission I was pretty sure was somewhere near the shed. Related: did you know that burdock (burr bushes) can get over 6' tall if you leave them to their own devices?

By paying taxes, I get to use roads that aren't full of holes.

Sadly, here in Michigan, our roads are still full of holes, because we (collectively) don't pay enough tax for roads, and our state legislature has painted itself into a corner by promising to fix the roads and also promising to not raise taxes. A new proposal has called for funding the roads from money which magically appears in the state coffers (seriously, although they didn't use the word 'magic'); so far, that money has failed to materialize.

2810435

Here you go!

I was expecting something a little bit more serious, although I don't regret having read it.

2812602

Oh, for, definitely. I can always use a good excuse to explode all over Youtube again. :pinkiehappy:

2810991

Seriously, Game Master.

That's a pretty badass idea. And it would be awesome if that really was her first and middle name.

Also, you've probably seen this before, but in case you missed it...
th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2015/040/6/0/taco_bucking_tuesday_by_seahawk270-d8hergv.png

2811091

I would be surprised to see a tradesmare put up with any increased fees on her work or service, but taxing imported goods or vices (gambling, opium, ect.) seems likely.

I don't see the ponies as having a sales tax, but property taxes and income taxes are a different matter. And yes, I can see them charging a tax for certain imported goods and vices, especially since I figure they have socialized medicine.

2810055
Oh, and further research indicates thatched roofs aren't as flammable as people imagine. If they're done right, they burn like a close book, because they're so dense, that oxygen can't get in to feed the fire. Sure, they're more flammable than slate or metal, but about on par with wood shakes and asphalt shingles.

2811103

Interestingly, it seems like the main danger of thatched roofing is actually smoke, not the fire itself. Of course, since a fire's smoke tends to be deadlier than its flames, that's not necessarily a good thing....

Yeah, that's what I found out in my research, too.

Pirene side story with Leit Motif go!

Interestingly enough, I sketched out the concept long before I read Pirene--back in late 2012, I think. Sunny Rays was the agent, and I gave a nod to that idea in OPP.

Worst case, I imagine the owner would prefer having the roof damaged or ripped off to let water in over the fire destroying everything.

Well, it's pretty common for firefighters to cut holes in the roof and break windows to avoid flashover, so even on Earth it's okay to cause some collateral damage while fighting the fire (and most minor fires also leave the home with extensive water damage).

I could actually see the Guard doing much or most of firefighting in large cities. Shield spells would be amazing for firefighting - not only for the obvious use of keeping blazing debris from falling on you, but for channeling air/smoke around and separating fuel from oxygen.

Actually, if there are unicorn spells which can affect things at a molecular level (and given some of Twilight's spells, there probably are), firefighting might not be that hard for a trained unicorn. Once everypony's out, put a bubble over the house, turn all the oxygen into cats nitrogen or something, and the fire just stops.

And of course, telekinesis would also be pretty helpful: no need to risk going into a burning building to move stuff if you can safely snag it from outside.

If there are spells which can detect living creatures, they can even rescue ponies without going inside, making it safer for the firefighters, and improving the odds for anypony inside.

In fact, I could see the government mandating practice of synchronized TK, or at least strongly incentivizing it: every able-magiced unicorn needs to keep up their skills, and whoever does gets payment or other benefits.

Obviously, even if the common pony can't, it would be to their advantage to have some professional ponies who can (the Guard, firefighters, doctors, etc.). And while we've seen Twilight have to learn some new spells, or struggle with some of her spells early on, she didn't have any trouble sharing a field with Cadance to fight the tatzulwurm.

Exactly how it would work (and how to make it fair for unicorns vs pegasi/earth ponies) would make for an interesting story.

Earth ponies would be better at the heavy lifting, and might be better at structural engineering on the fly, which would be important at a fire (you want to know if it's about to collapse, or is safe to be around). Pegasi can handle clouds, which would also be an invaluable asset, especially fighting a fire in a taller building--you can evacuate ponies to clouds with special platforms on them. Also, their understanding of air currents might be invaluable at a fire.

2811242

Pfft. I'd be game for that.

Well, I've never tried to write a comedic gorefic before, but I've seen most of the Final Destination movies, so how hard can it be?

2811834

I wish more people had as sensible a view as you.

Me, too. Heck, if they did, we'd still have a police department.

2812676
If I do it, I'm going to probably go straight for crackfic territory--something that makes that woodchipper fic seem fairly normal. Because why not go all out?

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

2812677
Finally someone shows me a Sonata pic I haven't seen. :D

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