Read It Now Reviews #13 – Please, Count to Five, App. Jack, I’d Do Her, My Little Danger Pony, Panacea · 7:47pm Jan 27th, 2015
The More Most Dangerous Game contest is in full swing, and as a result of a number of folks I follow entered the contest, and others encouraged me to read stories from the competition, I ended up browsing a few stories, and found another one that was worth reading, off of what I felt to be one of the more difficult prompts to do right.
But first off, the most important entry in the More Most Dangerous Game contest: mine, published to FIMFiction yesterday!
Ruin Value
by Titanium Dragon
DarkCelestia searches a ruined city for supplies after the end of the world.
The story starts with Celestia’s trek through the city in search of supplies, with the present state of the destroyed city contrasted with Celestia’s happier memories there, before it had all gone up in flame, and the ending has been significantly clarified from the version that some of you might have seen in the All In writeoff competition. This story was inspired both by the All In prompt, as well as the More Most Dangerous Game prompt about ponies struggling to survive in a post-apocalyptic world, and it has been fairly well-received thus far.
Today’s reviews:
Please, Count to Five by Magello
App. Jack by shortskirtsandexplosions
I’d Do Her by Fire Gazer the Alchemist
My Little Danger Pony by shortskirtsandexplosions
Panacea by AugieDog
Please, Count to Five
by Magello
Dark, Human"After all these many years, Lyra finally convinces Twilight Sparkle to teach her the most powerful summoning spell in all of Equestria. With this knowledge, she plans to summon the mythical creatures known as 'humans' to her world. Little does she know that her world is about to irrevocably change."
He looked at the other man. "How was that?"
The other man nodded. "It will suffice."
Why I added it: Magello is a good writer.
Review
Apparently I’m very good at finding strange stories today. This one was no exception.
Lyra, thanks to a spell Twilight gave her, summons two humans to her house, who seem to be more interested in each other than talking to Lyra. With no one else around to show them to, Lyra tries talking to them, but then they start narrating things, changing things in the world around Lyra as they do so…
Unfortunately, I think that the story’s “twist” ends up being revealed to the audience far too early, and as a result, the ending isn’t very satisfying, as the second half of the story simply feels far too long for what it is. The twist is really the main purpose of the story, and after that, it feels like it is over, as it never really goes anywhere else with it. That being said, I did like the cleverness of making the long summary of this story actually being a part of the story which summarizes the story.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
App. Jack
by shortskirtsandexplosions
Comedy, Slice of LifeDo you need to know what texture an apple's skin has to be in order to be sure that it's ripe? There's an app. for that! Ever wondered how many apples it would take to fill the cement foundation of a skating rink? There's an app. for that too! Ever felt like having an adoracute hologram with orange freckles that you could summon at any moment to chat with you in a charming country accent? Well...
When Twilight Sparkle donates a bunch of crystalline "smart-watches" to the citizens of Ponyville, she unwittingly includes a free download of a holographic Applejack with each prototype. Now the entire town is enamored with utilizing their helpful little neighborhood apple pony. The only thing is... would the real Applejack approve of all this?
Why I added it: SS&E is a good writer.
Review
I don’t think I have enough categories for SS&E stories.
SS&E released no less than three stories on the same day, this being the second one of them. I wasn’t very fond of Nuzzle Locked, but I liked this story rather more. The premise is pretty much given in the summary, and about half the story consists of ponies asking Siri Applejack questions and getting answers. Naturally, Rainbow Dash comes back, finds out about it, lectures her friends about using Applejack without her permission, leading to conflict…
Which pretty much is almost instantly defused, and instead the story ends rather cutely.
On the whole, this story was mostly harmless, but people asking iPhones silly things has never been my thing, and reading about people asking iPhones silly things (and iPhones occasionally embarrassing them by asking them if they want to search for something terrible) isn’t really my thing either, and makes up a good chunk of the story. I smiled a bit at a few points, but really the only part I can say I actively liked was the ending. It wasn’t a chore to read, but I’m not sure that your life will be any richer for reading it.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
I’d Do Her
by Fire Gazer the Alchemist
Comedy, Slice of LifeBeing subtle isn't Rainbow Dash's strong suit. At all. So when Applejack asks her point blank what she thinks of Rarity, she doesn't hold back.
Not her best idea.
Why I added it: This story has been in the featured story box for like a week.
Review
Applejack and Rainbow Dash are still competing over who is the most daring pony… naturally by getting each other to do dares. After a dare with Applejack goes badly, the pair walk back to town while discussing their friends and Rainbow Dash announces, in public, that she wants to “do” Rarity and make her squeal.
Rarity hears her and smacks her upside the face, naturally leading Applejack to dare Rainbow Dash to make her squeal.
My first thought on reading this story was “this guy loves adjectives more than is healthy”.
My second thought on reading this story was “this guy loves adjectives in ways that are banned in several states.”
My third thought was that ponies using “buck” as a swear word bothers me, as does people using the term “pissed” in prose to describe a character.
My fourth thought was that having a character make jokes in a foreign language at someone else’s expense isn’t really as funny when it is done via prose rather than subtitles.
This story lapses into telling in the spa while the pair get a massage, and rather awkwardly at that, as it is a moment where the pair are bonding and we are told that they are bonding rather than shown the bonding, and unfortunately, I saw the ending coming a mile away.
Really, most of these things are quibbles. But in the end, it all ended up adding up into me not particularly enjoying the story.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
My Little Danger Pony
by shortskirtsandexplosions
Comedy, Slice of LifeSix-year-old Amy Knight Yearling spends an afternoon out running errands with her mother. It is a perilous journey fraught with savage cannibals, deadly bamboo traps, and ferocious jungle beasts.
Or, y'know, maybe just fruit snacks and ice cream.
Why I added it: SS&E is a good writer.
Review
This is a story about Daring Do as a filly, going out with her mother to do some shopping and then go to a doctor’s appointment, all the while having imaginary adventures while we see or hear mention of some of the other characters as children.
This is, in effect, watching a little kid be cute.
If you like that sort of thing, you might like this.
If you have a heart of stone like me, though, or perhaps if you simply spend too much time in your own imagination, this won’t seem as interesting, as it is nothing but said fluffy cuteness.
Recommendation: Not Recommended.
Panacea
by AugieDog
Gore, Slice of LifePinkie bounces into the throne room of Twilight's new castle, invites her over to Sugarcube Corner, and reveals some dark secrets that make Twilight reevaluate everything she ever thought she knew about Equestria, its princesses, and its ponies.
Why I added it: AugieDog is a good writer.
Review
A twist on The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas, this story centers on the idea of Pinkie Pie having to torture ponies to death in the most horrible, gruesome way possible in order to fulfill the terms of an ancient magical ritual which makes Equestria into a paradise. Twilight learns Pinkie Pie’s horrible secret, and wants to put a stop to it – but they can’t just stop. The magic from the last sacrifice is fading, and the changelings, Sombra, and Tirek are just the beginning…
I liked this story. Magical rituals with a terrible price are often interesting in the abstract, but they also are often used as a means of diabolus ex machina, forcing something bad to happen because the writer wants something bad to happen. Thus, the idea of struggling against said rituals appeals to me, as it subverts the trope to some extent, even if the price still must be paid in the end somehow.
Twilight spends the story struggling both with what has to happen and against the spell, seeking any way out, and while by the end she doesn’t make everything okay, progress has been made.
If I had a complaint about this story, it is that it is a bit flat in terms of tension; there’s a great deal of tension in the first three chapters, but it feels like the climax really is in chapter 3, and while the final understanding doesn’t come around until chapter 5, it doesn’t feel higher than the peak in the middle of the story. As such, the end feels a bit anticlimactic. Still, I thought that it was reasonable enough in the end, and Twilight’s resolution in the end is a reasonable enough place to end a short story… though it does feel like it is leading into something greater.
Recommendation: Worth Reading.
Summary
Please, Count to Five by Magello
Not Recommended
App. Jack by shortskirtsandexplosions
Not Recommended
I’d Do Her by Fire Gazer the Alchemist
Not Recommended
My Little Danger Pony by shortskirtsandexplosions
Not Recommended
Panacea by AugieDog
Worth Reading
I have already finished Read It Now #14, which will be going up tomorrow, and is composed entirely of More Most Dangerous Game entries – including at least one that I recommend reading.
Which one? Stay tuned.
And read Ruin Value if you haven't already. 
Number of stories still listed as "Read It Later - Recommended": 1548
Number of stories listed as “Read It Later”: 187
2751107
I hope so; if I write a story that isn't at least worth reading, something has gone terribly awry.
I have to admit I wasn't terribly confident in it when I wrote it, but a couple days have made me happier with it for some reason, probably because people have been saying nice things about it.
I'm not sure if you are harsher than PresentPerfect or not, but I consistently see you reading fics that you do not recommend.
And they tend to be the majority.
2751294
It was supposed to be diabolus ex machina, though deus ex diabolus is a fun idea in and of itself.
2751337
I think I'm much harsher in my recommendations than Present Perfect is; he's more lenient. Though we don't use exactly the same rating scale, either.
2751342
Yeah, as far as I've seen, you have no in betweens. It's either you like it or you don't.
2751345
He does have the vaguely recommended level, which I don't. He also has the "conditional recommendation" level, which is more sideways; I do talk about who might like a story, or what might put people off from a story in my reviews, but I don't use it as a level of recommendation.
But I also simply recommend a lot fewer stories than he does, I think. But my Recommended/Worth Reading don't have close analogies in his system; our highly recommended and not recommended are analogous (though my NR encompasses both his vaguely and not recommended levels) but his recommended/conditionally recommended levels aren't really the same as recommended/worth reading are to me.
It also depends on the source of our stories, though; for instance, today PP did a set of reviews on Skywriter stories, which are probably going to skew high because Skywriter is one of the better writers on the site. My Read It Now reviews tend to skew lower than my read it later reviews do, and now that I'm actually trying to put together a read it later reading list and sticking to it (thus making myself read, you know, the stories which have been heavily recommended to me which I've been putting off reading) I suspect it will skew even higher still.
2751345 I think TD doesn't really have an alright category. If it doesn't make an impact, it doesn't get recommended. Which is sort of refreshing.
Man, I'm conflicted as hell about all these contest entries that used the Cupcakes prompt, but that's a pretty glowing review for AugieDog's...
2751759
It is very much the opposite of Cupcakes; Cupcakes is all about the murder-torture, while Panacea centers on the why and how to stop it. It is obviously using the Cupcakes prompt, but it isn't very much like Cupcakes beyond the very broadest of strokes. It ends on a hopeful note, too.
2751759
2752339
I'm just a sucker:
For happy endings, and trying to find one for the whole Cupcakes concept was a task I simply couldn't ignore.
Glad you enjoyed the story, TD!
Mike
2753596
I think part of the strength of it is that, because we all expect Cupcakes to end badly, by giving it a happy ending, you subverted our expectations; I read several other Cupcakes prompt based stories and all too many of them didn't really end up working for me.