Critique: Frequency · 8:01am Jan 26th, 2015
Review isn't the right word for what I'm aiming for here. I'm not out to tell if a story is good or bad or worth your time. I'm here to look a little deeper into what people are trying to get at with these horse words. To try and figure out if I'm feeling the same as they're feeling.
So let's get a start on with my second story, which is also a human in Equestria story. I've historically fastidiously avoided this genre, like any right thinking pastel horse fan, but I've also seen one or two really interesting takes on the medium which have set my brain a-purrin' in ways I never prior considered.
One of the themes that Vinyl Scratch lends herself to is the physicality of music. Dance, drugs, alcohol, sex, all the biological passions. Her genre lends herself a sexuality that almost instinctively bleeds across into her voice - an underlying tone of "I don't really care about this conversation we're having, but we gotta have it as a precursor to doing something really fun". This story very much embraces that perspective - that Vinyl is only talking because she's gotta and even though she's unabashedly confident she's also kind of bored by the whole thing. Even the mess in her apartment is a classic look for her - real, visceral, chaotic, biological.
This story establishes that familiar personality, that familiar perspective quickly enough, and then follows it with a moment of doubt. From that seed she starts hearing a voice that is going through her own problems, her own secret thoughts: Isolation, fear, and the contemplation of suicide. And once she's aware of that thought she's hyper-conscious of herself, looking over all of her own thoughts and reactions in a way that she'd never do when she's her normal, physical self. It's really to get people into this self aware state, by the way, and it can mess them up for days.
So Vinyl reaches out. She takes a chance. And the instant that it doesn't work out exactly the way she hoped she puts her foot down and backs off. And for most people it ends right there. But the descent back into physicality doesn't work for Vinyl, something deeper in her is broken right now and she reaches out again.
It's important to note that Vinyl is reaching out for profoundly selfish reasons. Her own isolation, her own dynamic with her father, her own lack of friends to hold genuine conversations with, her lack of satisfaction in expressing herself via music. Compassion for another being is a intellectual excuse. She says it out loud but she doesn't feel it and doesn't express it when her inhibitions are lowered due to alcohol. So a connection is formed between two profoundly lonely individuals.
The story then glosses over a week of solid talking. It skips past all that relationship building and growing empathy and understanding to a conversation that goes wrong and ends in a fight. But in that week Vinyl has completely undone the empty, messy chaos of her room and made it into a place she can stand to live in - a very physical expression of her new connection. I'm interested why the story would skip ahead to such a downbeat scene, though. Perhaps to make the point that this relationship is deeply unhealthy and is built on need rather than compassion, selfishness rather than sharing. Vinyl pushes Adi away due to lack of trust and then regrets it and begs pointlessly for her to come back. She's not sad because she's hurt Adi's feelings, she's sad because she doesn't have anyone to talk to.
I found it interesting that Vinyl had economic reasons for not wanting to commit suicide - that she couldn't afford to be buried next to her dad if she did.
After this an interesting conversation happens. Flash Sentry calls Vinyl out on being unqualified to deal with this problem. He tells her to get professional help involved. She refuses. And she refuses because she's just as desperate as Adi is. But at the same time that need is undermined by Flash's offer of friendship, and all the physicality and certainty that comes with that. Unlike Adi, Flash isn't a burden. He's lonely too, but he's self-assured, calm and real. All those things have a temptation that shakes at the core of that deeper connection Vinyl has been building. Vinyl doesn't recognise it, but Vinyl doesn't recognise almost anything that she feels throughout the story.
There's a break in the connection. In stories like this, this is always the point where the relationship is tested. True enough, both parties are prepared to do pretty extreme things to resume it, but what I find really interesting is that when the connection is resumed Adi and Vinyl instantly start fighting. Looking back, this story hasn't given us a single really positive, shared conversation. Everything ends on neutral or downer notes. Adi is always crying. Neither of them have any other friends. This certainly isn't love, this is animal need.
That's what this story is to me. Two profoundly sad, unhappy, lonely people desperately clinging to each other across the void. It's a fucked up relationship without any positive notes to lift it, no real healing, no real trust - only desperation. And, at this point where the story ends, it seems to be setting itself up to have that relationship undermined by the increasing presence of Flash Sentry who offers Vinyl everything Adi formerly did, and more. It seems likely now with all the attention that the romance is going to stabilise or retreat into an awkward friendship, especially with what looks to be lots of public attention - and Flash Sentry to fulfil his destined role of Waifu Stealer yet again.
This story is pessimistic about long distance relationships and the people who engage in them. It reminds me of my days playing amateur therapist to mentally unstable internet friends; conversations that fucked everyone involved up even more. Vinyl doesn't feel any less suicidal now than she did at the start of the story - if Flash Sentry left and Adi stopped talking she'd be exactly where she began or worse. There isn't love here - just desperate loneliness, deferred.
THE LIST:
Discord's First Very Faithful Student
Plus some given to me via PM/Gdocs.
Interested in having your story overthought? Post a link in the comments and I'll add it to the list!
A very curious interpretation, at times accurate and at times surprising. You're theories actually approach a certain conclusion that might not be too far off, knowing how the story is set to end. Curious, indeed. It's always interesting to see some people dig deeper into a story than the author ever intended, and even more so when that author is me.
Perhaps the most interesting thing is that I had a particular theme and goal when I started this story and... well, I didn't see it in your theories. Perhaps when it reaches the conclusion?
Now I really regret that I didn't ask you to read Twilight's Inferno.