Friendship is Card Games: Baby Cakes · 4:24pm Jan 25th, 2015
Ah, yes, the episode that gave me the fourth member of the Ponyville ETSAB contingent. Some people seem less than fond of this episode, but I quite like it. It’s full of world building, from establishing the bizarre nature of pony genetics to confirming that rather than electing to grow beards, stallions need to shave.
Mr. Cake’s “That makes sense, right?” is seen by some as evidence of cuckoldry. I see it as memetic contamination from spending years in the same house as Pinkie Pie. Or evidence of the Cakes’ secret nature as alicorns, but only for one story.
I suspect one can infer a pony’s special talent from the behavior that pony is drawn to as an infant. They lack the presence of mind needed to acknowledge this activity as a special talent and manifest a cutie mark, but it’s still a hint. Pound Cake’s talent will likely lie in demolition. The hints of Pumpkin’s are a bit more oblique, at least when I try to get them to fit my ideas for her. That oral fixation is one of a baby’s first ways of interacting with the world: probing it with all five senses. That curiosity will serve her well. (Or she’s teething. Either or. It’s the phasing through the laundry basket that really stuck with me. The next time we see something like that, it's Princess Twilight doing it.)
I know the writers want to use the characters we’re familiar with, but do the Cakes just not have any friends their own age? Or are the heroes of Ponyville the first ones everypony turns to in times of need? (Wow. Imagine the Flower Trio. Twilight probably has a form for them that’s intentionally byzantine enough that they’ve calmed down before they can finish filling it out.)
Pinkie faces two major issues for her here: trying to be taken seriously, which is a chore for any comic relief character, and ponies who won’t stay happy. The latter is the worse. She makes ponies happy. That’s what she does. That’s what she is. A baby’s mercurial disposition means she’s never finished with her destined role, and their repetitive taste in humor makes that role unsatisfying. Having fun becomes unfun. Is it any wonder she develops such a short fuse?
It also doesn't help that she finds herself in common “loser” roles of Western animation. Not just the hapless babysitter, but also the pursuing predator, the heckled performer, and even the nervous victim from a completely different genre.
That rubber chicken almost certainly isn’t Boneless. Odds are very good that Pumpkin didn’t reach through time and space for it, and if she did, she most likely only took one of Pinkie’s chickens. However, I cannot completely discount the possibility.
“We do not put anything in our mouths that we cannot safely and properly digest.” That actually works for Pumpkin since she’s a unicorn, but for two thirds of the population, the mouth is the primary manipulator. Still, Pinkie is laying down the law. She has no time for such minor concerns as logic.
After seeing the twins in action, the question of how earth foal surges work becomes inevitable. It’s possible they don’t exist; after all, Applejack didn’t chime in with any horror stories of Apple Bloom raising Luna as a baby. Still, what fun is that? Given that my headcanon usually has earth pony magic enhance what they already do, foals probably wouldn’t produce many noticeable effects, save for truly terrible tantrums and some odd effects on lactating mothers. That doesn’t mean the babies couldn’t produce subtle havoc. Say, making a house’s support beams sprout new growth…
And now, it's time to see the new cards. Try not to wake them:
Limited Comprehension 2W
Instant
Each creature gains protection from converted mana cost greater than its own until end of turn.
”I guess a certain level of sophistication is needed for something as highbrow as a knock-knock joke.”
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Unobserved Escape 3W
Instant
Exile each creature that didn’t become the target of a spell or ability this turn. Return those cards to the battlefield under their owners’ control at the beginning of the next end step.
”Curse you, Haysenberg!”
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Time Out XXWW
Enchantment
Time Out enters the battlefield with X naughty counters on it.
When Time Out enters the battlefield, for each naughty counter on it, exile target creature an opponent controls until Time Out leaves the battlefield.
”It doesn’t matter how big you are. If you misbehave, you sit in the corner and think about what you did. Even if you have to find a very large corner.”
—Fluttershy, Bearer of Kindness
Toybox Telekinetic 1U
Creature — Unicorn Child
3U: Target artifact becomes an X/X artifact creature until end of turn, where X is that artifact’s converted mana cost. It gains flying until end of turn.
”Unicorn foals have a tendency to redefine the phrase ‘child’s play.’”
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
1/1
Somnolent Demand 1UU
Instant
For each creature target player controls, tap that creature unless that player pays 2. Creatures tapped this way don’t untap during their controller’s next untap step.
As with all things, sometimes mind magic is just a matter of shouting as loud as you can and hoping no one says “No.”
Unrealize 1UU
Instant
Return all creatures blocking target blocked creature to their owners’ hands. That creature becomes unblocked.
"Ontolomancy is simply the art of saying 'yes' or 'no' to existence. Guess what some of my first words were."
—Pumpkin Cake, ontolomancer
Outright Denial 1UUU
Instant
Exile target spell.
Sometimes one no just isn’t enough to make the message clear.
Object Impermanence 3U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant permanent
At the beginning of of the end step of enchanted permanent’s controller, if that permanent wasn’t the target of a spell or ability this turn, return it and Object Impermanence to their owners’ hands.
”Every perspective offers a new way to look at magic, including one still entertained by Peekaboo.”
—Ditzy Doo
Academic Synopsis 5U
Instant
Draw a card for each card players drew this turn.
”Twilight sends me so many reports, I need additional ones just to keep them all straight.”
—Princess Celestia
Newborn Tantrum 1B
Instant
Target player loses life equal to the number of creatures that entered the battlefield under his or her control this turn.
”You get used to it after a while.”
—Aorta Redheart, registered nurse
Foul Stench 2B
Enchantment
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player loses 2 life unless he or she discards a card.
”Humans have it easy. Those tiny little knobs can barely smell a thing.”
—Ditzy Doo
Sinister Ambiance 3BB
Enchantment
Whenever an opponent would discard one or more cards, that player discards that many plus one cards instead.
Whenever an opponent would lose life, that player loses that much plus 1 life instead. (Damage causes loss of life.)
Ceiling Travel 1G
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature has nonbasic landwalk.
”And they don’t even make cleaning products for this kind of thing! Can you believe it?”
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Swarming Caterpillars 3G
Creature — Insect
Whenever Swarming Caterpillars attacks and isn’t blocked, you may destroy target enchanted or nonbasic land defending player controls. If you do, Swarming Caterpillars assigns no combat damage this turn.
2/1
Rimshot Set 3
Artifact
Whenever another permanent leaves the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
”Two cymbals and a snare drum fell off a mountain. That happens more often in Canterlot than anypony wants to admit.”
—Pinkie Pie, Bearer of Laughter
Flour Dump (wu)(wu)
Instant
If W was spent to cast Flour Dump, prevent all combat damage that would be dealt by target creature this turn. If U was spent to cast Flour Dump, target creature doesn’t untap during its controller’s next untap step. (Do both if WU was spent.)
Retrace (You may cast this card from your graveyard by discarding a land card in addition to its other costs.)
Precocious Colt UR
Creature — Pegasus Child
UR: Precocious Colt gets +2/+0 and gains flying until end of turn.
”No comment.”
—Scootaloo
1/1
Maternity Ward 2(wu)
Enchantment
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, until end of turn, that creature loses all abilities, gains hexproof, and has base power and toughness 1/1.
"There's so much danger in this world. The least we can offer is a peaceful welcome."
—Aorta Redheart, trained nurse
Magic Surge 2UR
Enchantment
Each player may activate abilities of creatures he or she controls as though those creatures had haste.
Whenever a player activates an ability of a creature, if that creature entered the battlefield this turn, that player copies that ability. He or she may choose new targets for the copy.
Even your prose sounds like Magic cards. ^^
"The hints of Pumpkin’s are a bit more oblique, at least when I try to get them to fit my ideas for her. That oral fixation"
Oh I think we know what her talents will be if you know what I mean.
hue hue hue huehuehueHUEHUEHUE
I'll show myself out.
XD
Does Flour Dump have both of its effects activate if you pay both kinds of mana?
2746080
Magic is a great source of new vocabulary. As a recent example, a haruspex is one who reads the future based on the appearance of a ritually sacrificed creature's entrails.
And Scootaloo was probably flitting about when she was an infant too. Sometimes the wings are just the last to get a growth spurt.
2746179
That it does. In fact, that sort of spell usually has reminder text indicating exactly that. Thanks for the reminder, and sorry it wasn't there to begin with.
2746186
Oddly enough, I realized what it meant only through its italian translation, since the words are similar.
Today's theme for the flavor text: the idea that you can simply say 'no' to the Eldrazi or the Phyrexians!
2746204 Alright, I know your avatar comes from a Magic card, but I can't remember the name. Would you mind telling me?
2746235
Worldslayer, if I recall correctly, from the first Mirrodin set.
The card itself is a bad rare, since it costs 5 and 5 to equip and what it says is; whenever equipped creature deals damage to a player destroy everything except for Worldslayer.
But the art is really cool, I used it as avatar in a pinch, and then it grew on me.
And now I'm a sword.
By now you're used to me giving a blow by blow impression of all the cards you post, right? Well you don't get that today, because every one of these is golden. Especially the white and blue ones; every last one sounds like it would be interesting to play with, and balanced against similar existing cards. And the blue ones even all sound like real magic cards, with their smug blue attitude.
Well ok, Academic Synopsis is too expensive to play anything else on that turn yet shouldn't net you more than Tidings in all but the most ludicrously focused deck, and Newborn Tantrum seems a little unreliable unless you're running a combo deck that directly gives your opponent tokens, but that's it.
Maternity ward seems like it would break a lot of cards in half. There's lots of creatures which would wind up straight in the graveyard if their ETB effect didn't occur (Clone, anything that's 0/0 with +1/+1 counters, anything with fading or vanishing), or else lose almost all their value. Meanwhile even if your opponent's not that unlucky you're playing cards with nasty sacrifice costs freely (assuming you study the card carefully to make sure it's not "an additional cost"; also echo would not be voided).
Magic Surge is obviously the exact opposite, and just as combo-hungry. The sky's the limit on that one.
I guess the fandom has to make OC friends for them?
I'm now reminded of that swinger's story by Bronystories where the Cakes were friends with a few of the Mane 6's parents.
It makes you wonder who anypony turned to before Equestria was blessed with 6 heroines.
Newborn Tantrum... is it implying that the opposing player gave birth to their bajillion squirrel tokens?!
Well, I guess it does make a crapton of sense if they're some sort of sapient, anthropomorphic squirrel Planeswalker. Then again, this game has anthropomorphic elephants and big cats with hooves, so I guess it can happen?
Sinister Ambience... hmm... it seems overcosted to me for what it does. Is it's CMC that because of versatility?
Ceiling Travel-
Spider Pony... Spider Pony... does whatever a spider pony does.
Rimshot Set's flavour text is the pinnacle of hilarity XD Just wonder why more drummers weren't thrown off, too.
Flour Dump is annoying as hell and awesome. It's like Constant Mists, except not as detrimental.
59 lands and a Flour Dump is the epitome of "The Lawn". You could drag matches and win through annoyance and attrition. Although, once that thing faces the 59 lands and a Shock deck, it'd be in deep trouble.
Yeah, Flour Dump is awesome for Commander.
2746186
This Haruspex came out first, so when Grim Haruspex was released, I was like, "What does that have to do with having inside-out stomachs adapted to shoveling everything into one's mouth/face with stomach tentacles?"
Then I looked up what haruspex actually means
While I've got the topic on Tyranids, Carnifexes are quite aptly named. It means "butcher" or "executioner", originating from medieval times. Appropriately, it's often used to execute tanks, being more than strong enough to so.
Games are educational, eh? I would've never known what a hind is until they printed Golden Hind.
2746155
Yeah, I know what you mean, eh? Like, when Pumpkin grows up, she's gonna be so good at eating contests! She'll outpace everypony in hay dog eating contests and even outdo the record and eat a 50 pound hayburger patty!
And when others ask how she keeps her figure, she'll kinda shrug n stuff :P
Oh, and she'll accidentally drive Bon Bon outta business. Just as planned.
*pulls out a large novelty rainbow lollipop shaped like a johnson and starts happily slurping on it*
I've been trying to eat this thing for three days now. It's like a jawbreaker or something ^.^
2746235
In Soviet Russia, Emerkul and Volrath say yes to you!
And devas's avatar is Worldslayer. Equip it to something, and if creature so much as touches a player, everything except Worldslayer gets nuked. I don't know if this is an appropriate pic for him or not. Maybe he makes stuff blow up more than Titanium Dragon?
2746321 Sinister Ambience totally needs to cost that much. There's lots of cards that let you deal damage or life loss in many 1 life increments, and this doubles them. Doubling the power of discard is pretty strong too, but by the time this hits the table it'll be too late to for that most of the time.
2746340
*facenest*
Flarp. I read it as just losing 1 life a turn somehow.[/fail]
Yeah, the amount of damage that can bleed away is really high. Extort definately overkills. This could combo well with Foamy's Ectorting Phyrexian Arena from last week.
The discard portion works well with enchantments like Bottomless Pit and Necrogen Mists.
Sinister Ambiance might actually be a decent answer to control (they're drawing asstons) in a W/B enchanment EDH deck. Like, for 1vs1 matches.
On that note, Myojin of Night's Reach in a multiplayer Commander game going off is a good way to make everybody instantly hate you. You can actually feel hopelessness and despair giving way to undulated hatred from the other players. I should know. I've been on the receiving end of Night's Reach discard ability a few times. It sucks.
I'm not sure if the rules support Time Out as written. An X spell only has a value of X on the stack, and the spell itself doesn't target. I think this works:
Time Out WW
Enchantment
When Time Out enters the battlefield, you may pay XX. Exile up to X target creatures for as long as Time Out is on the battlefield.
It's also better, since you don't have to commit mana until after the spell resolves.
I believe Unrealize would work very well with Lure.
I really like the little quotes you come up with for these posts. They sound both authentically Magic-y, and fit the ponies in question very well.
2746235
And for the most part, you can. For a while. The thing is, they're very insistent, and eventually, most people run out of "No"s.
2746261
It's hilarious on indestructible creatures, though. "Oh, did I blow up the world? I didn't notice."
2746318
Maternity Ward doesn't quite work as you think it does. If the creature is a Clone, a hydra, or something else with a "CARDNAME enters the battlefield as/with" effect, that effect resolves as part of the creature entering the battlefield, the same action that triggers the Ward. Similarly, ETB effects of creatures will trigger at the same time as Maternity Ward's own. If you control the creature, you choose the order in which they go on the stack. If you don't, Ward's will resolve first (assuming the active player controls the creature,) but the creature's effect will still resolve, since it still went on the stack. A player would still need to sacrifice something for Ugin's Construct even after Redheart put it in diaper and crib. (And how's that for a mental image? "Congratulations, Mr. the Spirit Dragon, it's a... sculpture.")
Also, echo still applies, since it triggers during the upkeep after the creature comes under your control.
2746321
No, just that they're newborns. Pinkie didn't give birth to the twins, but their sobs still got to her. Though thanks for reminding me of a pre-pony card experiment, the one-mana squirrel planeswalker Chh'p, Lord of Acorns.
2746539
You believe correctly!
2746887
Thanks. I try to keep the feel of both sources.
2746539 Not as well as Gaze of the Gorgon
2747414
Just to clarify: You mean Lure and Gaze of the Gorgon, right? At first your wording made me think you meant Unrealize and Gaze of the Gorgon...
Gaze of the Gorgon might work better in some scenarios, but Unrealize has two advantages. First, it lets the attacking creature become unblocked letting all of the damage through, regardless if it has Trample or not. Second, Unrealize can clear the board of indesctructible creatures that were blocking.
2746533
I took a look, and you're right. Every permanent with an X in its cost only remembers the value of X long enough for "as CARDNAME enters the battlefield" effects. I've adjusted Time Out to fit, and created a new kind of counter in the process. Good catch!
2748688 But now you need to create a Magic card that uses Nice counters!
Re: Time Out: Counter names are traditionally nouns, so here naughtiness.
For Sinister Ambience (I prefer that spelling) ‘that many cards plus one’ and ‘that much life plus 1’ read better than ‘that many plus one cards’, etc.
2746318
Actually, what happens is:
X ETB, and any counters are placed on it.
X's ETB abilities trigger, as does Maternity Ward.
Those abilities resolve.
X is now a 1/1 with no abilities except hexproof.
HOWEVER:
If X is Tarmogoyf, X is a 1/1 because the P/T setting overrides 'Goyf's *-setting ability.
If X has abilities that set anything other than P/T, X no longer has those abilities, but does have the effects of those abilities:
Barrage Tyrant is a 1/1 with hexproof and no other abilities, is colorless, and has a mana cost of 4R.
Amoeboid Changeling is a 1/1 with hexproof and no other abilities, and is every creature type.
Why?
Changeling applies in layer 4. So does Alicorn.
Devoid applies in layer 5.
Maternity Ward's ability applies in layer 6, so it's too late to prevent the color change or type change.
This sort of counterintuitiveness is why Wizards won't print ability-loss effects. They got burned pretty badly by Humility/Opalescence.