• Member Since 2nd Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 8 minutes ago

PresentPerfect


Writer, RCL co-curator, EQD prereader, dramatic reader, VA, fic reviewer. Vote for my next fic to release!

More Blog Posts2161

  • Friday
    Something I wanna see

    I don't know what kind of story this would work in, but you could probably write a whole thing around this scene. Follow me here:

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    14 comments · 195 views
  • 6 days
    Fic recs, February 10th: CreepyPastaSalad edition!

    Our next lucky reader is none other than the inimitable CreepyPastaSalad! (aka DizzyDan) List of stories he's read that I've already read:

    Arvaus's Lives' End
    ObeySaturnGod's Friends Forever

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    17 comments · 161 views
  • 1 week
    Oops, I did it again

    Once again, I was writing a serious story, had to set it down because bedtime, got cold feet, and wrote something stupid in the meantime. :B This is why I never get anything done.

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    6 comments · 98 views
  • 2 weeks
    Fic recs, February 2nd!

    Scribbler's newest reading is Alaborn's Applejack's Bar, with a huge all-star cast!

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    10 comments · 217 views
  • 2 weeks
    State of the Writer, January 2020!

    This morning, I had nothing whatsoever to report on the writing front. :B I've been spending all my free time watching Youtube videos or, less frequently, listening to audiobooks while playing video games. (I'm gonna be in need of some more games I can play while doing this, pretty soon.) I've developed a Critical Role addiction. The current audiobook review is kinda long, and the stories haven't

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    6 comments · 139 views
Jan
22nd
2015

Fic recs, January 22! · 1:13pm Jan 22nd, 2015

I probably shouldn't be trying to do this in the morning, but I have a little extra time today so HERE WE GO

Hey, for those of you who are weeaboos into anime, you might wanna go check out Desu Daily, an EQD-styled all-in-one anime site. Get more info from the head honcho here.

Sonata, Shmonata. Also a song! I’m running of things to say to link pictures to!

So check out Rainbow Dash Fixes Herself by Between Lines, GaryOak's A Feather in Her Cap, and many more below the break!

H: 2 R: 4 C: 2 V: 1 N: 2

Steel Wheels, Iron Ponies by totallynotabrony
Genre: Sad
Promontory knows he will one day lose his job to one of the new locomotives.
On the one hand, this story has a lot going for it in that it’s not your average sadfic. It captures a moment in time, a feeling, and does a good job giving importance to the mundane. On the other hand, I’m horribly ambivalent to it. The writing is flat and telly, and does nothing to add to the mood of the piece. The overall idea is solid, but the execution just did not grab me, and this came fairly decently recommended. I can’t say it’s a waste of time to read, short as it is, but I also can’t really find a reason to suggest you give it a shot. Unless I just missed the whole thing somehow.
Vaguely Recommended

Apple Shampoo by Titanium Dragon
Reading by Scarlett Blade
Reading by Scribbler, et. al.
Genre: Comedy
Rarity’s friends realize that she spends a lot of time at Sweet Apple Acres. And she smells like apples.
This is a fic-of-the-moment, based on a recent image from Rarijack Daily, itself apparently based off some new official pony-branded product. I don’t anticipate it will have a huge shelf life, so I checked it out and… honestly, I’m not sure what I expected. Well, okay, I do know: I expected my expectations to be played with. This is very obviously a “not what it seems”, and there were basically two types of “they think it’s X, but it’s really Y” scenarios that could happen in the first scene. Since the X I had expected actually turned out to be the Y, I then assumed my expectations would be further played with, and the “but it’s really” would turn out to be some third Z I didn’t expect at all, to undercut the smokescreen of “but it’s totally X” laid by the narrative. Which isn’t to say this is a disappointing story — it’s not bad, and it’s definitely funny — I just found myself disappointed by it. So I guess caveat emptor is the rule of the day: keep a hold of your expectations going in.
Recommended If You Like Shipping Comedy

Rainbow Dash Fixes Herself by Between Lines
Sequel to TWILIGHT SPARKLE FIXES EVERYTHING
Genre: Crackfic
Rainbow Dash is awesome and she knows it. That is some goood cake.
This story has one of the greatest first paragraphs I have ever had the pleasure to read. Seriously, take a look at this sumbitch:

Twilight Sparkle was lying on the floor, frothing. Pinkie Pie was busy learning the difference between hallucinogenics and baking ingredients. Octavia was wondering whether or not she could be held responsible for possession when technically it had been Vinyl’s stash. Everypony else was just panicking, as per usual.

If you need more of a reason to read this story, you are a picky motherfucker. To be perfectly honest, if you like cracky fics and TWILIGHT SPARKLE FIXES EVERYTHING was too ridiculous for you, you might want to check this one out instead. I mean, you get two Rainbow Dashes evading Celestia and Luna (who are cops), and yet it’s somehow more mellow than its predecessor. (Definitely read it if you liked My Little Rarity: Rarity Is Rarity. Jussayin’.) And then if you want something completely different, try the “deep” version, which starts off the same but goes majorly philosophical with the whole idea. It’s a completely different story, minus the first and last dozen paragraphs, and totally worth reading if you’re not into random comedy. (Though the ending isn’t quite as strong given the different context.) This is an experience!
Recommended

Luna Just Learned About the Play “A Hearth’s Warming Carol” by Singularity Dream
Genre: Comedy
On Hearth’s Warming Eve, Princess Celestia is visited by three spirits.
Hey hey hey, look who finally joined the ranks of the writer! :D This is a story about Luna perpetrating A Christmas Carol on her poor, bewildered sister. The thing which makes it work is that the narrator goes along with every part of Luna’s terrible plan, despite it being very obvious that everything is transparent to Celestia. Well, that and it’s good Princess bonding, which I am always for. The author needs a proofreader, because there are a lot of simple errors throughout, not to mention limited vocabulary, but in service to the idea, these are trifles. A story for those more interested in function than form.
Recommended for Fans of Princess Bonding

A Feather in Her Cap by GaryOak
Genre: Scootalove
Scootaloo is determined to win the Ponyville ball-bounce competition, and no little cold is going to stop her.
I think the entire reason I’m reading this story at this point in time — other than “I wanted to” — is the author’s note stating it was read and approved by Maddy Peters. Proof that the show staff lie about not reading fanfiction! (Admittedly, it’s less of an issue since she’s not a writer, but still it gets my blood boiling.) This is slice of life done well. It takes off from one thing mentioned in the show (Rainbow Dash bouncing the ball in shit-I-don’t-remember-it-was-season-one; also something else, but spoilers), and sends us through it with a little conflict so Scootaloo can learn a lesson by the end. (And, in true season two style, write a letter to the Princess.) It’s also a good CMC and Scootaloo “episode”. The best part might actually be Scoot loudly proclaiming that she’s finally old enough to enter the contest; little touches like that are what make these sorts of stories work. The writing in slight need of hammering here and there, but overall carries the idea well. A definite for Scootaloo fans in particular.
Recommended

Rarity’s Garden by HamGravy
Mature: Sex
Genre: Not Safe for Anyone
So. This is a story where Rarity, as a filly, was repeated sexually abused by her father. (It is worth noting that it’s old enough for her parents not to have appeared in the show. It is impossible to reconcile her canon parents with the characters in this story.) On top of that, it depicts animal abuse, drug abuse, and Rarity continuing the abuse cycle with Silver Spoon. I curse whoever convinced me this was a story worth reading, because it’s not. I suspect the impetus was something along the lines of “rape/foalcon written right”, but after reading it, I realize, the only way to write those properly is not to write about them at all. (Or at least, not as a focal point. Or at least not with ponies.) And yet I went ahead and read it anyway because I’d started another story (DMX Turns Into Rarity) and dropped it after two paragraphs, and figured it was time to take some lumps. Ugh. There are “at leasts” that I could add to this review, but I am not going to. Don’t read this, or anything else in the series it starts.
Not Recommended

Essenza di Amore by Cerulean Voice
Edited by Me
Genre: Historical
Once upon a time, there was a young pegasus who lived with a tribe of earth ponies, and a sorceress who wore a strange pendant.
This is the other story I got paid to look at, and it’s a pretty cool extension of Cadence’s (side) canon backstory. The author was able to create a world separate from Equestria at large that still jibes with Crystal Heart Spell, and that’s no small feat, given that you’ll find names like “Kaviyayu” here. The writing is excellent, multiple characters get first-person scenes with distinct voices, and the plot is overall interesting and exciting. I’m speaking in very general terms because I just finished reading Lady Prismia and the Princess-Goddess and I’m getting cross-chatter since the two are similar in focus. Suffice to say, this is well worth the read, and I love a good Cadence backstory.
Highly Recommended

But I Don’t Want to Become a Wonderbolt by Deep
100th Review of 2015
Genre: Scootalove
All her life, Scootaloo has just been going through the motions so she won’t let her big sister down.
I was really impressed by the idea behind this story when I saw it in the featured box, but sad to say, that’s all it has going for it. It plays out in the most straightforward way possible, with Scootaloo the disaffected, angsty teenager, and soars through its emotional turns like an apt simile. The writing suggests a budding author who’s trying to push out of their comfort zone, and I hope they keep at it because they’ll get there someday. In the meantime, a look at comma usage would be suggested. And, well, how to resolve an emotional climax. Meanwhile, there just isn’t much here.
Not Recommended

We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Hat by Nonagon
Genre: Flashfic
Here are two statements that by all accounts should not go together: This story is 99 words long; I am laughing so hard right now. This is gonna be one heck of a collection to review if these fics are all both this short and this good.
Recommended

The Night Sunset Shimmer Tried to Kill Santa Claus by Syeekoh
Reading by Scribbler, Lexii Rose and Goombasa
Genre: Comedy
Sunset Shimmer does not understand how Christmas works.
This is a great slice of absurdity wrapped around a bit of genuine heartwarming holiday cheer, something that’s not easy to do. Both parts really leave you with a lot, though: the former with laughing, and the latter with something to think about, mostly speculation as to how EQG-world might differ from our own. There’s really nothing else to say about this, save that I thoroughly enjoyed it and it’s the best of Syeekoh’s work I’ve read to date.
Recommended

It Doesn’t Matter Now by Loganberry
Reading by Loganberry
Reading by Scribbler, Illya Leonov and Quirky Craft
Genre: Apocalyptic Comedy
At the End of All That Ever Was, there is Pinkie Pie.
At its heart, this is very simple, another of those After the End stories where Pinkie outlives everything instead of one of the Princesses, because funny. But really, it’s more a look into the power of Pinkie, something that goes beyond crass fourth-wall breakage while still giving her a magic of her own. The narrative is light and playful and helps sell the image of a put-upon Bringer of the End, and just the very fact that such a creature can be exasperated by Pinkie’s antics is what makes this story work.
Highly Recommended

Report PresentPerfect · 1,141 views · #fic reviews
Comments ( 39 )

Well that's a bit of reading material.:trixieshiftright:

Have you read all of this, or someone else wrote this reviews?:trixieshiftleft:

~Leonzilla

Dragonshy. Ball-bouncing is Dragonshy. (For a record, at least, that Pinkie fucks up with her dragon roar.)
Also in the competition during Fall Weather Friends.

Just so you know, Dash went for the ball bouncing record in "Dragonshy." :twistnerd:

Essenza di Amore by Cerulean Voice

Highly Recommended

...

Oh, wow. It actually happened. :pinkiegasp:
Welp, guess I can tick this off now!

Earn a "Highly Recommended" review from PresentPerfect [ ] (highest rating "Recommended for fans of creation stories")

Earn a "Highly Recommended" review from PresentPerfect [x] (Essenza di Amore)

I'm so glad you enjoyed it. It means a lot that my (and my editors') months of works paid off. The reception has been brilliant.
:yay::raritystarry:

So, let me get this straight, PP. WOULD you recommend Rarity's Garden? I'm just kinda confused by your review because it isn't sending a clear enough message. :applejackunsure:

2739765

Congratulations, Ceru. :twilightsmile:
And holy shit you have a lot of editors.

Majin Syeekoh
Story Approver

The funny thing about that is that I'm Jewish.:trollestia:

Essenza di Amore has been on my short list of stories to read since I saw its EQD post, I'll try to remember to get to it next once I finish the story I'm currently working through.

I'll take a look at a few of the shorter stories mentioned too. The Luna, Sunset, and Pinkie ones shouldn't take long to read.

I did wonder why I suddenly had 13 notifications! But thank you so much! Appropriate smiley: :pinkiehappy: I've been delighted with the reception It Doesn't Matter Now has had, and getting a Highly Recommended from you is a lovely bonus. Mind you, it occurs to me that now I know I can write something worthy of an HR, every fic that doesn't get one from now on will be a dismal failure by definition. :P

From the rest, Singularity Dream's fic is already on my waiting list, and I'll definitely be adding GaryOak's (yay Scootalove), Cerulean Voice's and maybe Titanium Dragon's. (Nonagon's I read just now and liked, though maybe not quite as much as you did.)

Once again, my read it later box weeps.

I’m running of things to say to link pictures to!

Pshaw, you have yet to escalate to linking individual letters and punctuation, what're you complaining about?
Also, you forgot "out", which could have been one more link (or three…). :twilightsmile:


2740199
So very much this. :raritycry:

Ah, reviews cruel sting. I really don't remember that many errors... I might have to check to make sure I uploaded the edited version.

As for the limited vocabulary, most of that was intentional. The whole 'if I repeat it enough times it will be true' sort of thing. You kind of have to picture the narrator saying it in more and more firm/exasperated tones. I had an idea for more and more adjectives would get added as the story went on for the spirit's dialogue tags, but realized that it would get a little ridiculous by the end.

Ah, that explains the sudden flux in views. Ta very much. :twilightsmile:

Sorry I didn't play with your expectations enough on Apple Shampoo. Clearly, next time I need to write a quadruple subversion just to mess with you.

2740653
Except now that you've mentioned it, we'll be expecting the quadruple subversion... :trixieshiftleft:

2740668
Well, that's just one of the layers of the subversion, now isn't it?

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

2739740
Not sure why you asked this. c.c I read all the stories I review.

2739746
Wow, thank you. Goddamn, I need to rewatch seasons one and two.

2739907
Boom, headshot!

2740280
It's hard to do when I start off with images linked to four words, then three, then two, trying to get all the tags in correctly. ;_;

2740349
Well, it's far from being a bad story, so take heart. :)

2740389
You can actually thank MaskedFerret, she linked it in chat last night and I just about died. :D

2740653
Whatever you do, I promise to hate it. :V

2740784
Or just yell at me when you need help remembering something.
I'm working on the comics, but I remember literally everything about every episode.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

2740789
I guess three seasons was my limit for being able to remember everything. :(

2740793
Seriously. Ask me anything. Down to minutae.

2740784
I've found the best thing is to write the text out beforehand, then select each segment and hit the "Add Link" button on the editor. Usually I prefer to type the tags manually, but when you've got a bunch of 'em, using the button saves a lot of work.

2740784 Sorry, after reading this blog more carefully that is pretty obvious so it was rather dumb of me to think that.:twilightblush:

~Leonzilla

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

2740796
I shall!

2740809
Well, I meant that I start off with two links, and then end up with six and have to write more text or else shove them all into what I've already got. :B (Also I do it in GDocs, no editor for me!)

2740900
dun worry, its k :D

Yeah, I know it's not a bad story. Wouldn't have posted it if I thought it was bad. Just my proofreader is family, so you are badmouthing my mother. Grr. Guess I'll have to actually pay attention to what she tells me to edit next time.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

2740944
Never trust your mother to tell you you fucked up. :V

2740280 2740199 I just created a bookshelf to put all the stories that I want to compulsively read but probably never will.:twilightblush:

2741078 I'm stealing that quote if you don't mind.:twilightblush:

Never trust your mother to tell you you fucked up. :V

~PresentPerfect

~Leonzilla

2741078
Actually, she does on a regular basis. Still, that's a great way to put it.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

2741233
OH GOD SONATA DON'T DO IT D:

Rarity’s Garden

Fuuuuuck >_< I had blocked out that memory. G'dammit, PP. I too was pitched this to read by someone under the "rape/foalcon written right" suggestion, and foolishly thinking that there are no bad concepts just bad execution, I jumped in. Spoiler alert, literally the first scene is foalcon. I made it about 500 words in before I had to close it. I don't normally consider myself that squeamish, but I was trembling for the rest of the night.

Look, who knows, maybe it does has profound things to say. It is a long running series, FWIW. But that doesn't matter if your reader ctrl-W's in the first 500 words. Doesn't matter the reason, whether gramatical flubs or graphic foalcon. You need to hook your reader first.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need some more brain bleach.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

2743557
I mean, I think the author's on to something if they want to "do it right", but I at least would rather see the aftereffects of abuse than watch it happen. It comes off as too meant-for-titillation.

2743661

It comes off as too meant-for-titillation.

Well duh, this is fimfic.net :trollestia:

Thanks much for the sweet review, good sir! I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. Having rewritten the story as a script and revising the story based on the script helped me capture that episode feeling quite significantly.

Proof that the show staff lie about not reading fanfiction! (Admittedly, it’s less of an issue since she’s not a writer, but still it gets my blood boiling.)

This isn't really a lie. I know the production staff are not allowed to (contractually), and I'm not sure if VAs are supposed to or not. Either way, it was the result of a rather long and somewhat epic story from Bronycon 2013. The Reader's Digest version of it is that I'd met Maddy at Everfree 2012, she remembered me (so did her mom, who I spoke with at EFNW), and I gave her a hard copy of an older draft of this story. Over the weekend, she actually read it and said it was really good.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

2744359
It's bullshit, there was not-quite-outing sometime back and some of them do actually read it, they just have to pretend like they don't for legal reasons.

Meanwhile, visual artists and musicians can interact with show staff all they want, despite the fact that they can tell stories and have ideas that are able to be ripped off too. Fanfiction is and has always been the red-headed stepchild of Fandom.

2745315
Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah, fanfiction being the "inferior" facet of fandoms when it comes to others' treatment really does make me rage. Oh, artists can charge for fanart? Cool. Hey, who wants to buy a fanfic commission? Almost nobody. Post some badly drawn art to the MLP subreddit, and it receives dozens, if not a hundred plus upvotes. A well written fanfic? Maybe 5 upvotes, if you're lucky enough to get a positive vote score. :twilightangry2:

Grr. My story is perfect and you are wrong and double wrong and... Okay. Breathe. Breathe. I really do hope someday I get over the gut defensive reaction whenever I read reasonable criticism. Especially when it's criticism I've read before and (mostly) agree with. The risks of reading old review posts to update the master list I suppose.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

3668058
Hey, it weren't that bad. :B

3668075
In fact, it was pretty good. Just not flawless. Lots of people enjoyed it and I had fun writing it.

However, logic does not work against irrational moments of emotion.

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