There is no Luna FAQ · 5:13am Jan 20th, 2015
There Is No Luna
Frequently Asked Questions
Last updated: January 19, 2015
There have been so many similar comments on There Is No Luna that I feel it would be best to create an FAQ list instead of dealing with everyone individually. Hopefully I didn't make myself look like a complete moron by doing this.
I tried to frame the questions as a logical argument. That may or may not have worked. If it sounds like I'm strawmanning people, let me know and I'll tone it down a bit.
But, well, keep in mind, I'm practically a trollfic author. I have a duty to be at least a little sarcastic.
Plot Holes
But in Episode 2, everyone was shocked to find out Nightmare Moon was Luna, and even more shocked that Luna was Celestia's sister!
or
According to the pilot, none of the mane six knew anything about Luna!
This is the one I keep hearing the most often.
I go into this in more detail in the comments.
Basically, in short: I read over the transcripts, and there's only a single line in the first two episodes that actually supports this, and it's short and random enough it's likely a mistake.
But in the show, we've seen Luna in flashbacks, when she supposedly didn't exist!
I think this is sufficiently covered by it being an alternate universe story.
(You know, I almost forgot to add the alternate universe tag to this story. Man, would that have been a disaster. 
)
What about Discord? Wouldn't he have spilled the beans?
Maybe, but he has some reasons not to.
For one, after being stoned for over 1000 years, he might have forgotten whether Celestia had a sister or not. In addition, if he did remember, and he did witness Nightmare Moon's appearance while encased in stone, and he did figure out what Celestia did, he would likely be scared of Nightmare Moon as well, and wouldn't want her coming back any more than Celestia does. (He's the god of chaos, after all. If the world's destroyed, which, as far as anyone could tell, was Nightmare Moon's goal, he couldn't laugh at it anymore.)
Okay, so if Nightmare Moon's such an omnicidal bitch, why does she pussyfoot around in the pilot, anyway? Why doesn't she just murder everyone?
She's insane. Her goals are not comprehensible. And she likes toying with her victims more than killing them with her own hooves. Remember this passage?
We saw, from the charred husk of the world she left in her wake, that she usually brought kingdoms to their knees in weeks. She didn't even have to lift a hoof—the exhaustion did the work for her.
Plus, is she really pussyfooting around? As soon as she escapes, her first goal is to bathe the world in eternal darkness, which will stop plant growth and slowly deprive every living thing in Equestria of oxygen and food. And while that happens, while the world freezes into a cold husk, she will laugh. She doesn't need to kill anyone herself.
Sounds evil enough for me.
Besides, for all we know, in the pilot, she could have killed a couple guards and townspeople offscreen. There's not really anything that contradicts this, because in both universes, I think Celestia would be desperate enough to get Luna back that she would overlook things like that. (And for this universe, it would help explain why Celestia feels guilty enough she needs to confide in Twilight.)
But wait, wouldn't Luna have found out about this whole thing through Celestia's dreams?
There's two explanations I've got here:
The stupid one: Luna did see Celestia dream about this, but assumed it was some kind of horrible Freudian imagery.
The smarter one: The princesses, as a rule, interfere with each other's affairs as little as possible. For Luna, this means that, unless there is a dire emergency, she will refrain from entering the other princesses' dreams.
Take your pick.
But the Elements of Harmony don't work like that! They couldn't propagate a lie! They—
Okay, stop right there. Unless I completely missed an episode, the show has never explained in detail how the Elements work, so no matter what the rest of your argument is, you will be attempting to fight a headcanon with another headcanon. I'm not going to deal with that nonsense. I'm sure plenty of stories have redefined the Elements in stranger ways than this one.
Well then, this is a sloppy alternate universe fic. You don't even say when you're different from the show or anything.
Yeah, you're right. Sorry. I screw with canon a lot. Don't read my other stories.
I got into fanfiction from abridged series. If you ask me, you can alter the canon however you want as long as it isn't confusing. Want to make Rainbow Dash a pimp with absolutely no explanation? Fine. If it's entertaining, I'll roll with it. If the success of this story is any indication, I'm not the only person that thinks like this.
You prick! How did you get that popular with that kind of attitude!?
I'm the master of clickbait, apparently!? I don't know!
Okay, but this story doesn't even make sense internally. Isn't Celestia keeping too much evidence around? She keeps the old history books and tells Twilight.
This is the comment I've seen second most often, and my answer to it will be divided over multiple questions.
I attempted to anticipate this objection with this passage:
Twilight shook her head again, and walked off a bit, attempting to keep control of herself. "Then why tell me?" she says. "Why keep those books around? If Luna ever found out…"
"That's why I'm telling you," Celestia said. "Someone besides me needs to know. If the effects of the Elements begin to wear off, or she starts to remember her other life, or something, I don't know, someone else needs to know. I might not always be around, you know. Imagine what it would be like if she turned back and no one knew what was happening?" She looked out the window. "And the books? They're a reminder. A reminder of just how terrible my power can be. When you live as long as I have, you get… sentimental. Maybe I will get rid of them."
She believes letting someone else in on the secret will help if something goes wrong in the future, and she keeps the books around because she never wants to forget the horrible thing she did.
Those may or may not be justifications for her wanting to assuage her conscience.
But the other princesses could have seen the books!
No, they couldn't have. The Forbidden Wing is Celestia's alone, and she has almost every safeguard known to ponykind applied to it. (Please don't bug me about the specifics of the safeguards. I'll just keep bullshitting stronger and stronger magic until you get tired of it. Just imagine the door's coated in invisible anti-other-princesses-except-sometimes-Twilight-cream.)
This is specified in the long description, but not the story, in this line:
the Forbidden Wing of the Royal Library, a wing so secret even the other princesses can't access it.
I'm considering adding it the story, along with a couple other details about what exactly the Forbidden Wing is.
Okay, but now Twilight doesn't believe the lie. If Luna turns back, the mane six can't turn her back now.
Yeah, you're right. There is a chance that Nightmare Moon would be weaker, and the mane six would just be able to kill her, but it's just a chance. Celestia potentially broke everything.
What the heck!? Why's Celestia being this idiotic!?
This is the biggest hole the story. I was worried about it myself. I thought the story would crash and burn because of it. But it didn't. After thinking about it a bit, I realized… maybe it doesn't have to be a plot hole.
Try this:
I never said Celestia wasn't being idiotic.
Celestia risked everything so that for the first time in millennia, someone could tell her whether did the right thing. Luna could revert, and the world could burn, all because she had too much of a conscience.
That is a possibility.
Celestia could be being paranoid. The Elements could have rewritten Nightmare Moon enough that, even if she did find out the secret, and even if she believed it, she would be shocked, but would never revert.
That is another possibility.
The ending is supposed to be ambiguous. This ambiguity is important.
Celestia isn't a perfect chessmaster in this story. She demonstrates that, even if you pull off an elaborate plan like this, you might not be able to live with it.
Try lying to everyone you know about an important part of your life for just a year. See how long you last before you're tempted to tell someone. Even if telling someone could hurt you, even if telling someone could hurt others, you will be tempted, at least once. And the more serious the lie, the more you'll be tempted.
Some people can resist that temptation. Some people do it as a career. Others can't.
Celestia couldn't.
If that makes her an idiot who was never fit to rule a country, fine. That is a completely valid interpretation of this story.
Personally, I sort of like the idea of a ruler so just that they would decide to abandon their life before abandoning their morals. But, as Celestia demonstrates in this story, that could be a selfish decision that would endanger millions of other lives.
So there's ambiguity.
Maybe that helps.
(Also, the only other way I can think of to fix that plot hole is to not have written the story to begin with, and I certainly can't do that.)
Expansion
Are you going to write a sequel/prequel/epilogue?
Probably not. There are not many things I want to develop more in this universe, and many reasons not to continue it. For example, after reading people's reactions, I do want to keep it ambiguous whether Celestia did the right thing in telling Twilight about her ruse.
Not to mention, just how much more can I develop Luna not existing, anyway? That seems like an awfully flimsy base for universe, and much better suited for a one-shot, like this. -_-
Plus, I've already got a multiverse I've invested two years in. I'm focusing on that.
Can I write a sequel/prequel/epilogue?
You might be able to talk me into it. Try writing some, PM me.
Can I translate/adapt/draw/sing/interpretive dance/review/etc/etc/etc this story?
(No one's asked this, but it can't hurt to dream, right?)
Definitely. You don't need to ask. Send me a link, though, so I can see it and possibly plug you.
Miscellaneous
Best Princess is fake? This story's made me depressed. :(
There's been some pretty funny gag endings in the comments, if you need to lighten up. These are my favorites:
"Sister…"
Celestia wiped a lonely tear, then proceeded to drop her muzzle to her hooves.
She shook violently before bursting with laughter. "Bwahahahahaha!! Tw-Twilight actually be-believed... Bwahahaha!" The princess rolled along the floor, tangling the rug around her abdomen. "She-I can't-Bwahahahahaha!!"
"Tia."
"1,000 years. And somepony-pfffft. Somepony finally found it. I can't-I can't breat-BWAHAHAHA!"
"Tia?"
Princess Luna narrowed her eyes, recognizing how her sister's laughter begun to resemble rabid gargling. Tia had attempted humor. Said pony then continued to gargle more violently as Twilight Sparkle's faint muttering carried over the long distance.
Luna's frown gave way as she attempted to stifle a yawn.
"Welcome to the family, Twilight Sparkle."
(by honeyhoneyhoney)
"...Before I knew it, history books were filled with passages about this 'Luna,' and it was common knowledge she was my sister. Everyone knew what she was like, even though no one had ever met her."
"...Wait, that doesn't make any sense."
"NO! THEY DIDN'T! All they knew about Luna was about Nightmare Moon because of Nightmare Night! We were taught as children to go around to get candy or she would devour us! Schools stopped teaching about Luna and her adventures until she was sitting next to you on the throne! Anything else they did learn would be all kinds of half forgotten, contradicting folk rumors! By this logic, she should be a crazed candy psychopath!"
HAHA! FOOLS! YOU HAVE FALLEN INTO MY TOTALLY WELL CRAFTED TRAP I TOTALLY DIDN'T MAKE UP ON THE FLY! NOW, I SHALL DEVOUR YOUR SOULS UNLESS YOU GIVE ME THE CANDY!
(by bobby125)
I'm considering holding a Worst Epilogue Ever contest, but I'm not sure what I'd offer as a prize. :p
(God I wish Rainbow Dash Presents was still around. They'd have a field day with this story.)
Oh, and here's a heartwarming one:
Plot Twist: Luna totally knows all about it.
Celestia: But... how!?
Luna: First of all, you made me your equal as ruler of Equestria, which gives me free access to the Forbidden Wing. You really didn't think that through, did you? Might I add, calling it the "Forbidden Wing" is just begging for everypony to want to see what is in there. You should try to think of a more boring name for it. More importantly, I can walk into your dreams, and you constantly worry about me finding out the truth.
Celestia: Buck!
Luna: Language, dear sister.
Celestia: But... why aren't you...
Luna: Trying to kill you? *shrug* I suppose I simply do not really care anymore. Oh, it was rather disturbing when I figured it out, but... I like being sane, and I like having a sister.
Celestia: Aw.
(by Fervidor)
I like that last one.
Yeah, that last one is great.
I doubt Discord would fear Luna or NMM.
Did they stop doing Rainbow Dash Presents? I thought it was still a thing, just, y'know, they don't update often.
Aww.
The last one is da bomb.
This blog made me happy. I enjoyed the story and you explained a lot of these pretty well in the story, IMHO.
I think you need a little help.
Let me give you some other possible answers:
this story is AU!
Imagine that Luna being Celestia's sister happens to be taught in elementary school, and the legend unearthed by Twilight only concerned her imminent return!
Curiously enough, it is my impression that Discord plays on Celestia's side, or is otherwise voluntarily imprisoned. For one thing, he made it incredibly easy for the girls to imprison him, and later he went and basically reformed himself.
My favourite explanation is "After the feats of escaping the Moon and banishing Celestia, she was so dead tired that she just couldn't. Her traps were a question of saving energy, then breaking the Elements was her very last leg, and after that she was just blustering and praying for Twilight to buy the ruse and let her faint in peace."
They are the Elements of Harmony, not goodness. If the changelings indeed had a hivemind, who is to say that the Elements wouldn't find the changelings to be more harmonious than ponies and then backfire against the ponies? And if the Elements thought that things were better served with NMM turning into Luna rather than going back to the Moon, then why not?
What other princesses?
The only other princess would be Cadence, and we don't even know if Cadence would be bookish enough to even know that the library has a forbidden door. And if she knows, Celestia could cook up an excuse of it being a private office were Celestia likes to retreat alone.
2736939 I love all of your answers, especially the reminder that the Elements of Harmony have an ideological point of view and there's a reason Celestia doesn't have the gals firing them off like a Yosemite Sam at a wedding.
I was content with the story, but the FAQ proved to be interesting, thanks!
Now I feel like I ruined all my fun by reading this. That was unfairly comprehensive.
One particularly fun approach: Tell so many lies so often that you're not quite sure yourself anymore what the truth was. Can't feel guilty or boastful about things when you can't even remember which ones you told to who.
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2735252
2736294
Sorry, I'm stupid. Are you guys talking about the last question, or the last gag ending?
2735344
I imagine the power levels work roughly like this:
NMM: 4,294,967,295
Celestia: ≥9000
Discord: 1337, but with completely different abilities
So Discord's powers sort of work like Bobobo's. He confuses his opponents to the point where they cannot usefully strike back, and he can do many things they are physically incapable of, but if they really wanted to, Celestia or Luna could basically nuke him.
(This might be a bad analogy, since I've never actually watched an entire episode of Bobobobobobobo. Or however you spell it.)
(Bonus: see if you can get all the jokes with the power levels.)
2738478
I'm glad someone else likes unanswered questions in stories. :p
Actually, your idea was the one way I was considering extending the story. After the comments really started pouring in, I considering writing an epilogue in which something like this happens:
I think that ending would piss people off a bit, though, haha.
So there's my gag ending. :p
2736939
I'll probably stick to my answers, if you don't mind. The story's basically my headcanon, so I don't want to include any ideas I didn't have while writing the story.
I might explain my headcanon about the Elements of Harmony, though.
Basically, my thought is this: How do the Elements determine what is harmonious? Or, to put it more pointedly, what is good? There is no one answer to what is good, and the definition of that can change over time. If the Elements had some preprogrammed definition of "good" in them, they would judge the world on horribly antiquated standards. Maybe the Elements can think for themselves to judge the difference between good and evil, but that seems needlessly complicated. It seems to make more sense that the Elements would read the minds of the Element Bearers to determine how to judge the world, and have some preprogrammed test that only allows sufficiently virtuous people to use them.
If that sounds like it could backfire, and the Elements might work for people that just think they're good, then, well… that's a concept I'm planning on exploring a bit in my other series. :p
Also, one last thing… did my explanation to why Celestia was being stupid make any sense? I'm not sure it does.
2738787 Can't speak for the others, but for me it was the last gag ending.
2738787
Last gag ending.
2738787
On the power levels, I actually believe that Discord is much more powerful than the princesses, combined. This is easily proven in canon from the simple fact that Discord can play yoyo with both the Sun and the Moon. If anything, Discord's only antagonist is the Tree of Harmony.
I do believe so.
2738787
I've made the experience that the answers you get are never quite as good as the answers you half-imagined. So sometimes I prefer it when things are left open thematically, yeah.
Also, I would've enjoyed seeing everyone react to that being the canon ending.
2738787 Yeah but if you read the comics which whilst are cannon until the show says other wise show Discord as an incredibly powerful being who even Nightmare Moon feared.
2738787
Ending. I'm fairly certain if I found out that I used to actually be a genuine omnicidal monster, I'd much rather be a normal person. Hell, if I were Luna, I'd thank Celestia for making it possible.
Personally, I liked the story so much not because it had every plothole filled in, but because it really isn't much of a stretch TO fill in those plotholes. You would really only need to overlook one or two show canon details, namely Discord, and they're relatively minor in the grand scheme of things, at least for the constraints of the tale. In short, I find the whole idea of it freakishly plausible even with the smattering of plotholes mentioned.
Though not all of them are so much plotholes but rather people not wanting to take the tale at face value and are trying to find a "way out" so to speak. In other words, they aren't willing to be a little "loose" with the rules of canon. And even then, you don't need to be especially "loose" with them here, which again shows how plausible the story actually is.
But at the end of the day, I see it as a "what-if?" sort of thing, not so much something to be taken as canon because it obviously isn't. Just a writer's attempt to explore what could have happened if circumstances were different.
I like those kind of stories.
2738787 NMM's I don't get, Celestia's is the OVER 9000! one, and Discord's is elite.
Did I get them right?
And mind explaining what NMM's one is from?
NMM. Sounds like a rapper.
--Equis Ferus Callabus
2746411
The most relevant that I can find for NMM's is that 4,294,967,295 is the highest number that you can store with 32 bits.
2753169
Yep, that's it!
As a hint, I was going to do a joke about how, if she got any more powerful, her power level would overflow back to zero, but I guess I don't need to do that now. :p
2754572 Besides, that probably would have made it a little too obvious.
Is it possible to downvote the FAQ? Two or three places your answer to a question could be rewritten as "buck logic, replace with stale donut" without substantially changing your answer. Your story actually has less merit for having read this.
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Not sure if I can help you there. Just downvote a bunch of my comments or something?
That last one is halfway sensible. I don't know if 'Luna' would talk that way, but it's not difficult to imagine that, truth or not, the pony that is Luna would rather not become the insane NMM that would like to end the world. That's a total decline and she might feel different under other circumstances, but being Celestia's 'sister' is probably right up there with best possible circumstance. Also, it's not as though Celestia is gloating and hardly anyone else knows.
discord was stoned for 1000 years? holy shit. must be some strong stuff.