Million Words in January (reading progress and reviews) #3 · 4:00pm Jan 15th, 2015
Today is the day I review a few one-shots that have been lurking on my list like bad smells. I’ll also knock a few more chapters off of my favourites list like last time. Of course, I won’t be re-reviewing the stories I’ve already reviewed, but others will get a short paragraph.
Let’s get into it: Eight stories below, a paragraph about each.
Previously-reviewed stories with new chapters read: Withdrawal, The Gentle Nights: Audience of One
Story: Ghost Town
Author: Dash The Stampede
Synopsis:
Twilight Sparkle has failed. Her experiments in inflation have destroyed the populace of Ponyville, and in her anguish, herself. The ghost town is marred by the sight of thousands of rubber shreds, each color reminiscent of the pony it once was. Celestia has taken upon herself the burden of restoring the town as she blames herself for Twilight's mishap. She'll piece together the townsponies, one shred at a time, if only to see their smiles and hear their joyous laughter once more.
It's tedious work, but work that Celestia feels is her only duty to her little ponies now. If only she knew the consequences of fixing such a tragic mistake...
Current Length: 15,683 words over 7 chapters, averaging 2,240 words per chapter
Status: Incomplete
Review: Set in the Balloonverse, this story is a sequel to The Great Inflate, a story where Twilight tried an experimental spell and accidentally cast it upon everyone in Ponyville at once, causing everypony in town to literally turn to rubber, inflate, and explode. Whoa.
In this story, Celestia is burdened with the guilt of knowing it was she who gave the spell to Twilight to experiment with. We follow Celestia as she comes to terms with not only her own grief, but the collective ire of thousands of other ponies as they come to learn what she has done. Just try to imagine how it must feel, walking around a once-bustling town picking up thousands of different coloured shards of people you once knew, and having to resort to dark magic to reattach their bodies and minds. Well, that last part isn’t so easy. This is a surprisingly dark and heavy-hitting story, as is its prequel. It has a few grammar derps, but I’ll be damned if it’s not fascinating as hell to read. The fridge horror is indeed strong with this one. Imagine Celestia having pieced Twilight back together after finding all her shards and turning her back into a creature of flesh and blood, only for Twilight to have absolutely no memories or motor skills at all. She has, after all, technically already died. The latest chapter in particular has a hand-to-mouth moment when Twilight desperately tries to read a book; she seems to remember on a base instinctual level that she loves reading, but she no longer remembers how to read, or what reading even is. Just think about that for a moment.
Story: All The Bitter Remains
Author: Arcelia (formerly BreadAndButterfly)
Synopsis:
Years have passed since the discontinuation of the apple farm that resided south-west of Ponyville, yet even after the long, slow decay of the once vibrant orchard; one pony still lingers in the wheat grass and reminiscences in the sunlight.
Current Length: 1,455 words (one-shot)
Status: Complete
Review: Huh. This was actually a very nice story. It’s been a while since a story actually gave me a sense of nostalgia like this. In fact, it’s been a long time since I read a story that made me feel tingly all over while reading it. All The Bitter Remains, while dealing with the sadness of growing up and letting childhood go, is not inherently itself a sad story. In fact, it feels rather happy; I suppose I can say it made me feel comfortable if anything. Scene visualisation was top notch, although Arcelia does try too hard to hammer home the imagery (lots of repeating things like old feelings, the stars in the sky, the feeling of old wheat grass etc), and she does commit the sin of spelling Apple Bloom as Applebloom. I dunno. It has a couple of other minor flaws, but I found myself overlooking them. If you want a nice and short moodpiece to both make you remember, and feel all warm on the inside, look no further.
I’m glad to see this writer improving with practice. Good job.
Story: Lyra's Ultimate Item Emporium
Author: TheSlorg
Synopsis:
When a debt-collection company sends a representative to collect on Lyra's parents' debts, they don't care that her parents have been missing for years - the debt is legally hers. If she can't pay up, she'll lose her house.
In order to pay the debt, Lyra devises a plan that simply can not fail - she'll convert her home into an item shop and sell her way to riches! Surely Bon Bon will help, too. What could possibly go wrong?
Current Length: 18,336 words over 13 chapters, averaging 1,411 words per chapter
Status: Incomplete
Review: Inspired by Japanese indie game Recettear, LUIE reads much like a video game itself. We have our totally adorable but clueless Lyra, her grumpy and more level-headed friend Bon Bon, Iron Will as a debt collector, Trixie as an overzealous competitor, and the Flim Flam brothers as leaders of an adventurers guild. Did I mention that Lyra is totally adorbz in this story? I just want to hug her little oblivious body so much. While the story is written as a fun comedy, the reason behind Lyra’s quest to open up an item shop is never far from the mind. You just can’t help yourself rooting for Lyra when she’s blundering about, causing oft-hilarious problems for herself and others. The story is cute, heartwarming, well-proofed (one would hope so, considering the author’s creds), and all around enjoyable. The only negative thing I have to say about it is the fact that it doesn’t update every day. This is easily accessible and should be liked by all who read it if you have even the slightest appreciation for smiles and/or video games.
Story: Corruption
Author: Cosmonaut
Synopsis:
After wandering into the old Castle in the Everfree Forest in pursuit of an odd looking hare Fluttershy finds herself trapped inside, and her will being imposed on by the remnants of the powerful being of hate known as the Nightmare...
Current Length: 1,104 words (one-shot)
Status: Complete
Review: Well. That was a thing that happened. Didn’t really do anything except use a rabbit as a plot device to get Fluttershy into the Everfree castle with the Nightmare. Bam—Fluttershy is in castle. Bam—conversation with the Nightmare. Bam—becoming NightmareShy. Bam—transformation complete, all fear of everything eradicated. Story over. Um… well, that was rather pointless, to be quite honest. No vote either way. If you’ve got a minute or two to kill, and you like Fluttershy, have a look. Don’t bother otherwise.
Story: Herostratic
Author: Dark Avenger
Synopsis:
Octavia Melody.
The name known throughout Equestria, and even in some of the bordering nations, as that of one of the most gifted musicians ever to bless the ears of an audience. Wherever she goes, her admirers are there for her. Whatever she plays is met with acclaim.
History will not soon forget her work. Exactly as she intended...
Current Length: 7,222 words over two chapters, averaging 3,611 words per chapter
Status: Complete
Review: …
…
…………………
I’m just going to steal this quote from another commenter. It sums up my feelings on the story rather succinctly.
I would call myself lucky if i understood half the stuff that happened here. There is a line between "I'm speaking in fancy interesting riddles" and "I'm teasing you enjoying your attempts to make sense out of this." This is probably a masterpiece in the works for those that understand it but I am afraid I don't. You can feel free to explain this to me but I really don't.
Feel free to read this story if you wish, and tell me your own thoughts. Because I am just plain weirded out. Use of metaphor was pretty good. Staggered writing was interesting. Don’t ask me what happened though. I’m completely stumped.
Story: Meet Me For Coffee?
Author: The Weatherbug
Synopsis:
Two mares were on their way to the place they had first met. Something happened and only one of them made it there.
From the snow and the shadow, a cup of coffee is all that I desire.
Current Length: 1,000 words (one-shot)
Status: Complete
Review: For such a short story (literally the shortest legal story possible), there’s a lot of imagery happening in here. The language is fairly evocative, the scene visualisation pretty good. Couple of grammar derps, but just one-offs—nothing worth really mentioning. Only thing about it I didn’t like is that, as it’s about two background ponies, I didn’t really care much for the characters’ plight and tragedy itself. Not to take anything away from the writing itself though. As with All The Bitter Remains, it’s not a bad use of a few spare minutes if you’re in a particular mood.
Story: Of Winter and Wine
Author: Cyneryk
Synopsis:
On a snowy night, Cheerilee receives an unwelcome visit from her alcoholic sister, Berry Punch. They have a chat concerning each other, what it really means to be family, and the distance they have put between them.
Current Length: 5,102 words (one-shot)
Status: Complete
Review: Perhaps it’s because I’m used to the author’s works already, but this feels very mature in comparison to other stories of his. The cosy setting—a juxtaposition of blessed fire versus chilling snow [A Song of Ice and Fire, if you will]—had me feeling warm on the inside as I read. The opening scene is about simple pleasures, and it does a great job of setting up the rest of the story, even if it does take a thousand words to do so. Of course the brief comfort is immediately shattered by an unwelcome visitor. Surprisingly feelsy and well written, in the end. Cheerilee and Berry seem to work well as sisters, complete and total opposites as they are.
She stomped into the kitchen and wasted no time pouring the remains into the sink. She took a sick joy in the sound that it made when it fell down the drain. The sound of her sister sloshing the liquor in a bottle was a horrid sound in itself. However, she never knew that liquor could sound so sweet. She never imagined that the noise that alcohol made when it was being poured down the drain was so melancholic. It sent chills down her spine that could never have been replicated otherwise.
She tossed the bottle in the garbage, where it belonged.
Yes, definitely a mature story. Very well handled. Slightly lacking in the grammar department but again, not overly so much to be a distraction. Fair amounts of tell/show/imply throughout.
A rather decent 5k worth of heart. Good going, Cyne.
Story: Rocks Are (Not) Dumb
Author: Kanzlerin Maud
Synopsis:
Apple Bloom thinks rocks are dumb.
Maud takes it upon herself to convince the filly otherwise.
Current Length: 5,210 words (one-shot)
Status: Complete
Review: It takes a special kind of vanilla fic to inspire a story sequel from someone different to the author of the original work. In response to a whole bunch of comments relating to Maud Pie on Majin Syeekoh's story, Rocks Are Dumb, Kanzlerin Maud brings us this followup to appease the rabid fans.
It involves one of our distant cousins.
Huh. I guess they are. Never even thought of that. Anyway, moving on: Get this story into you. Maud Pie is perfectly characterised, and bounces well off Apple Bloom. There’s lots of scattered humour about the story, which never feels forced in any way. What I found most interesting in how literal the title ends up being. Then again, Maud is related to Pinkie Pie, so that might explain a lot. Fans of Maud will love this story. It’s also well proofed, boasting practically flawless grammar. Maud does speak in sentence fragments quite often, but such a thing is forgivable when you consider the character. I definitely recommend this one for a rainy (or snowy) day. You’ll be chuckling all through it.
Next Review: The Elements of Harmony and the Savior of Worlds
Words read so far this January: 429,288
Thanks for the review. I apologize for the confusion. It's... complicated...
No, I don't mean "the story is confusing because it's complicated." I mean: "there are complicated reasons not directly related to the story that led to the story itself being confusing." In a sense, it is currently a side-story to another story that hasn't been released yet.
However, I'm working on a third chapter, which will hopefully clear things up a bit.
Tsk, tsk. Month's halfway over and you're behind 70k. For shame.
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I'll be sure to keep an eye out for it. I'd love to be able to actually tell people why 7222 words of content confused me.
Did you mean to link to the chapter instead of the main story page for Rocks Are (Not) Dumb?
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Er, that'd be a no.
Thanks for the catch
Am I the only one drawing lines between that and alexmagnet's Trixie-centric one? 0.o
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This was pretty cool :V I feel you can't tread lightly on this material, so I've been hitting hard and deep, maybe it'll shallow out soon.
Maybe.
I was aiming for something shorter than this, if you'd believe it, but I couldn't leave loose ends untied. Gonna estimate ~3 more to go before complete status. Then, you can re-read it all for full effect :D That's what I do before starting a new chapter, so I don't write in something that's already happened.
In any case, thanks, Ceru! I'm glad to know the horror is strong with this one.
You know, I think that I'll end up reading note words than you by the end of the years. Just saying.
I got actually a rather reasonable understanding of the events of Herostratic. I followed it relatively well, like a faint light through a maze of windows, always seeing the outlying point and yet, having to dig for hints at the deeper essence behind the reflections.
Needless to say, DA says I'm on the path for understanding it, I just need the other fics for reference before I can fully make sense of it. I can PM you my thoughts if you prefer, they're a deeper look into the themes explored in the first chapter and some speculation on the second. It was a chilling read, particularly the imagery of the child being torn from her hooves, and if you've a creative side, you'll see this for what it really is.
Herostratic is also best understood when considering what it actually means itself:
Herostratic: Seeking infamy; making fame through less reputable endeavors/ no matter the cost.
Octavia seeks to leave a lasting impact with her name attached, and at any cost, no matter the pains or struggle. Going into it with a basic feel for the idea of the word helps coalesce the pieces into a complete - though drowning in metaphorical prose - puzzle. It's a beautiful piece. Got a few shivers out of me, at least. :V
Dark Avenger has me at the tip of my seat, waiting for more of the deliciously dark undertones and metaphorical verse. :D