Am I a good writer? · 3:40am Jan 13th, 2015
Following a recent review of one of my fics, I'm wondering if I'm really that good at writing. In short, it had a good premise, but in execution it was full of plotholes, poor pacing, and a lack of detail. For all the years I've been writing, I should be better than all of those, and yet I'm not. It's like I keep trying to get better, but I just don't see myself improving.
That's not to say I haven't tried to get help in the past, but it hasn't really helped. It tends to boil down to two things: either people telling me to go into detail, or someone simply rewriting my work to be more detailed. Either way, I end up learning nothing. I've tried getting help from editors, but I end up feeling hostile whenever they're honest about the flaws in my work and I don't trust them anyway. My work should be mine alone, and letting other people get their grubby hands on it dilutes it.
I know that sounds arrogant and makes little sense, but that's how I feel about editors, and it's probably part of the problem. I've never liked asking for help. I think if I ask for help instead of working things out on my own, I'll be come dependent on help, and it'll cheapen my success. Maybe I'm being too hard on myself, but I don't see how I'm suppose to get better at anything without being like that.
It's a constant struggle to figure out where you are as a writer. At least, that's how it feels for me. Readers of all stripes have opinions on what you should have done here or there, but it's often contradictory. To me, it basically came down to whether I enjoyed the thing I'd created or not. If I like it, then everyone else is going to have to deal. If an editor or pre-reader has a good argument as to why I ought to make a change, then I'll see the merit and make an adjustment. If their argument just feels like a personal preference to me, then it stays my way. Sometimes I'm wrong about it in the end, but that's where learning happens. I've probably made the right call on a fic fifty percent of the time, so if it's going to be a coin flip, I'd rather do it my way and own the fail rather than be angry that I let someone talk me into something that I knew wouldn't work.
When I was first starting to really take writing seriously, I decided to work on one thing at a time. I'd get feedback on a story, and they would tell me that my grammar was sub-par, that my pacing felt off in the third chapter, and that I need to vary my sentence style up more. That's kind of a lot of things to work on all at once, so I didn't. I'd pick one of those thing the next time around and make sure I did a better job on it. Then when people critiqued that one, I'd pick a new gripe they had and work on that issue. Eventually, editors and pre-readers had a lot less to bring to my attention.
Outside involvement is a necessary component to most people's learning process, but it's equally important to like and believe in what you're doing. You're not always going to be right, but they aren't, either. There are plenty of people around here that offer editing services that don't know much about it, really, or that slavishly follow style manuals without understanding that it's not supposed to be an iron-clad law. It's a general suggestion for quality. Deviation is fine if done for the right reasons.
Anyway, Just passing through, and I thought I'd give my two cents. Good luck!