A little preview/opinion time! · 3:24pm Jun 30th, 2012
I'm writing a Appledash story called a Valley of Rainbow Apples. Here's a preview! I need an editor and some opions! It will have a a love square!!! So if you want to be my pre-reader/editor or separate pm me! I want as many editors and pre readers as I can get!!
A Valley of Rainbow Apples
Rainbow Dash was eagerly waiting in a three mile long line to try the Apple Family's new product- Zap Apple Cider. She had gotten here before all of her friends and was first inline to taste the rainbow colored treat.
"Ah believe we're open!" a distinct southern female voice said as she walked up to the stand.
"Howdy Rainbow!" she said smiling "Nevah got ya' cider first but got ya' Zap Apple first huh?" she countinued
"Yep!" she said eyeing the mugs. Applejack laughed and gave her three mugs of the Rainbow colored treat.
Big mac was working the field picking all of the others. The cider was only a barrle because it was only one tree.
She sipped the rainbow colored liquid and instantly, her eyes went wide. She drank it all extremely quickly and took off towards the Apple farm-
Right when she got there- the sound barrier burst destroying all the zap apples and getting a very irritated glare from the orange earth pony.
"Hehe... Whoops!"
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"WHAT!?" Rainbow Dash said in shock
"Ah said ya' are going to help untill you pay us back! That's 5000 bits." Applejack said rolling her eyes
"WHAT?!?! IM NOT PAYING YOU 5,000 BITS!!! " Rainbow Dash screeched taking off into the air angrily.
Stupid AJ.. With that super cu- NO! SHE WANTS ME TO PAY 5,000 BITS! IM NOT A BUCKING BANK!
Applejack just rolled her eyes and grabbed her lasso. She twirled it around with her tail and shot it towards her rainbow friend.
She's so stupid! I have wi- Rainbow Dash thought untill she felt herself being pulled to the ground.
"Owwww... WHAT THE BUCK?!?!?!?!" she started angrily.
"Ok. Help with the perimeter- N.O.W." AJ growled receiving a fluttershy-like yelp from her friend.
"Yes sir." Rainbow Dash giggled smiling.
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"Come on sugarcube." Applejack smiled kindly at her friend.
"Hey! What's orange,slow,honest and loves apples?" Rainbow Dash asked as she stood infront of her secret crush.
"Ah duno. Pinkie Pie?" Applejack responded giggling.
"You!" Rainbow Dash ansewed bopping her her on the nose and running off. Starting a race around the perimeter.
.......................5000 bits?!?!?!!??!?!??!?!?!?!?
A love square?
Yeah I think that I'll be able to help.
Yay thanks! It has 280 so words so I have a lot of writing untill it gets published.
You have my undivided (lie, I do live the sound of this though.) attention miss.
Yay!