Do Any of You Even Care? · 6:28am Jan 7th, 2015
That's not a setup for a joke. That's not some leadin to an annecdote. That's a legitimate question for you folks. Do you even give a shit at all about what I write, post, or do on this profile?
The poll has been open for, as of typing this sentence, twenty three hours and forty five minutes, and unless the unlikely event happens where ya'll are going to surprise me by all suddenly voting in the next fifteen minutes, then I am left with the fact that only one person voted. One. Out of one hundred and fourteen. One.
Am I angry, maybe a little bit, but I think frustrated and dissapointed are better words to describe this. Only one person bothered to do what I requested, and it's not like I was asking you to edit a huge document or do anything that constituted effort. I asked you to give me your attention for twenty to thirty seconds and say, "Yes, Fowler, I agree with that," or, "No, Fowler, I disagree with that." That was all I asked. What was disheartening was when I realized that only 18 views were recorded, and at least five or six of those were me checking the thread and another two at least came from Night_Wisp (who deserves a pat on the back for being the only person to take a moment and give his/her opinion). However, something even more discouraging hit me. If there were a surplus of views that weren't accounted for either of us, than some of you were even right there in the post and still just didn't comment a bloody thing.
I know this sounds like some spoiled jerk off going on an angsty, attention whoring tantrum, but goddammit, guys. When I was thinking of leaving the site a while back, I checked over my list. For those of you I haven't previously mentioned this to, I have a list of the reasons I bother being on this site. As it stood, the reasons were: (A) love of the show, (B) a desire to teach, and (C) a desire to write fiction. Each of those reasons has slowly disappeared in the last year or so.
I have fallen out of love with both the show and the fandom, for multiple reasons, but mostly just because I don't enjoy anything the show produces- save for the occasional extraordinary fanfiction- including the show, the movies, the comics, and all other spinoffs. I just don't find any joy in watching them anymore.
As for teaching, that went out the window a long time ago. I have always had a great desire to mentor people in things that I had experience at. That's one of the reasons my younger brother and I get along so well. However, this site has to be one of the hardest places to mentor someone on the planet. The vast majority of new fiction writers here are not receptive and just term someone a "hater" for giving them anything negative, even if it is constructive. Even the ones who seem open to it often repeatedly make the same mistakes not understanding even the most basic ways to adjust that problem. That hurts, because when I try to take someone on as a student, it's a deep connection to me, and seeing them fail repeatedly or just start ignoring my advice out of frustration really gets at me. In addition, I've noticed that most bad stories these days are just trollfics rather than stories where the author is legitimately trying.
And then there's the last reason. I'm going to come out and say that I have not enjoyed writing ponies for a while. It's been a tedious effort to say the least and in hindsight, that's likely one of the reasons my frequency of updates dropped like a rock. it happened about the same time I lost interest in the series, shortly after the release of the second chapter of Starcrossed. I contemplated then, and then a few months later after that, just leaving the bloody site, but decided to stay because of one fact: you guys. A close friend pointed out to me the various people who enjoyed my work and, not to sound pretentious, but I didn't want people who were looking forward to stories I was making to just lose them. However, this whole voting thing called that into question.
And so we're back to that title. Do any of you even give a rat's left bollock about what I'm doing? Because if you don't, I assure you there are a thousand better ways I could- and probably should- spend my time. In addition to improving my performance in college and fulfilling duties to my fraternity, I could definitely use the time to work on the non-horse words that I can actually publish one day and that I can actually make a tangible career out of.
I know that feel.
I spent much of 2013 in a bad mood, drafting resignation letters that were never published. But a friend who has more experience with these things gave me some good advice. He said, leaving an internet community is not like leaving a job. You should not give notice, unless you plan to return. Instead, take a few weeks' leave of absence. If you end up feeling like you miss this place, come back to it. If not, move on.
These spaces are supposed to be fun. If you're not having fun, by all means take some time and do some soul-searching. In the long run, you'll be glad you did.
Fowler, I've never read any of your stories. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I've never read any of them other than those you specifically asked me to.
Would I be sad, or bothered that you left? Yes, because I find your blogs to be insightful and educational a lot of the time. You're legitimately one of the most reasonable people I've met here on fimfiction, and that's through my entire year of being on here.
But if you need to take a break, or take your absence, then it shouldn't be up to us. I've done the same once and found that I had the desire to come back, if that desire pops up in your head after a few weeks, then you may find the same joy of the site you did a long time ago.
Hopefully, cause I would hate to see you go.
Mhmm, this is interesting indeed.
I've been absent from Fimfic for nearly 4 months now, only occasionally checking in to thank people and clear up my feed. I left due to a serious lack of motivation - it didn't help that my life outside of the internet wasn't exactly going great. However, now that I'm back, I've never felt more motivated and excited about writing.
So maybe - MAYBE - you should take a short break from writing. Especially if you dislike it and feel as though you're being forced to write. With that having been said, maybe you should stick around and write something you've been looking forward to. I'm sure there's a huge that you've been waiting to work on but felt as though the time wasn't right. Either way, do what you feel like doing - don't force yourself to write if you really don't want to!
Sorry. I do care about what you have to say; I'm usually just a little too busy to do more than skim.
I am sad to say, that I have much the same problem as 2706412. Skimming is about all I can do nowadays as I work my way through my final year of high school and prepare for the next step of college, so I hope that in some sense, you understand.
Like right now, I'm suppose to be grinding through the last of my studies to prepare for my GED. ( I'm home-schooled, and my teacher is a real slave driver when it comes to my studies.)
In any case, I'll try re-examine your poll and vote accordingly.
Cheers for all in the new year,
~Animated Gamer
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I do want to go ahead and address you all first in saying sorry I was a little... abrasive in this blog post. In retrospect, even if some of this did need to be said, there was a more tactful and mature way I could have said that than blowing up. Also, I'm sorry for yelling at you all as a collective when some of you probably didn't even see the post pre-meltdown. Hindsight shows that I probably should have just ran that vote for longer than a day so people with busy schedules had ample time. Again, sorry.
2706178
As always, the skull speaks wisdom. I think I'm going to take your advice and take off for a few weeks. It'll give me some time to clear my head and look at a broader view of all of this. Besides, class just started yesterday and I really need to start this semester off strong anyways. Thanks, Horse Voice.
2706208
I'm glad that you feel that way, Nova. I didn't know my posts were that big of a deal to you. I am taking a leave of absence, and I hope after clearing my head I will want to come back too.
2706327
I think you have a point. Like I stated above, I have decided to follow ya'll's advice and take a leave of absence. You also make a good case for working on something different. I've been wanting to work on my original, non-pony content for a while, but have been putting it off to muscle through All Along the Watchtower. Maybe during my leave I should remind myself why I started writing in the first place by working on older projects that are by the wayside.
2706412
Like I said above, I understand now. Sorry for going off on you. I get too busy sometimes too (just wait til we get to Greek Week and I'm a ragged mess).
2706759
Again, sorry for my shortsightedness. I should have realized that some people are just going to be busy, especially this time of year. I do appreciate you retroactively looking over the poll.
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To all of you, if I don't return, I do want to leave on a good note. This site has done a lot for me to have an opportunity to train my writing knowledge and gain confidence in my abilities. I've made very good friends on this site, and hopefully, I'll be wanting to return to see you all again. And if I don't, then it's been a damn pleasure to know every one of you. I'm out.
What I want you to do is what you want to do.
2707451
Mate, at some point everybody gets fed up. I was lucky my temper didn't get the better of me. Out of the two of us you're probably the stronger one, you held out longer than i ever did. But im glad to hear you're taking a break, it would be the best decision for you i feel. A toast to Fowler i say, and to the hope that he returns!
Aww, thank you. A vote for something gets me fired up! And, since you are my very first friend on this, what has become a bit of a cruel site,of course I would answer something for ya!(Pls don't judge my opinion)
And about the voting, it is true some people are a little busy. Some just don't care about their feed, and others struggling to read it all as a part of their day, me included.
I should be at least studying a little bit these past two days, but I usually spend them talking to a very certain someone and checking this every day to see the news. No wonder my mom took it away from me and to only use on Saturdays. It's definitely affected my grades at a point in my life. I've kind of gained it back to using it every day so....
The point is, yeah, there's busy people. And I see that you're taking a break to remind yourself the whats, whens, and whys. I think that's a great idea, and will totally help a lot.
It could even bring out your best motivation to let the site see some REAL works once in a while. Popularity would increase a bunch and you'd get more faithful followers to join your hearty crew. Arrgh!
Anyways, just follow your heart and do what YOU think will help you most. I still have yet to even write a second, more improved story.
And don't you ever forget our pm, that really helped me a lot in the writing world.
Don't forget that I'm a girl, either.