Opinions and Feedback requested · 9:18pm Dec 29th, 2014
*Edit* Please! Can someone look at this? If I ask Solid he'll just give his usual response "Yeah awesome! Keep writing." (He's really easy to please.)
So, recently I began work on this idea I had, one that grew from my love of Fallout, Fallout Equestria and the screaming voice of my bro SolidFire. (Seriously he loves Fallout Equestria...I think he's obsessed.)
So, if you haven't figured out already, I'm writing a Fallout Equestria Fic (like that hasn't been done before.) and I kinda want a bit of feedback on the first chapter and half of the second, mainly on the quality of writing and overall structure, and the initial plot. I'm gonna post a link to it below if anyone here is interested, but don't comment on the fic, either comment back here or PM me. I can take what you throw at me.
Fallout Equestria - Project Exodus.
Seriously, I would love some feedback.
I know I should actually read the story through and edit the dozens upon dozens of goofs you've made in it. I am easy to please, that is true. I would also like for someone to read it and give some feedback on... well, everything. Doesn't help that you're, you know, half way around the planet from me. I wake up, it's noon for you, I get off work, it's eleven in the evening for you. We don't get to talk.
~SolidFire
2686969 Yeah, it fucking sucks. At least we can still get an hour or two before I have to shut down for the night.
Oh and I finished the 4K mark on the second chapter. Yay.
Just gonna Ctrl+c and Ctrl+v the review.
Gonna go ahead and put this in the order of Plot, Character, Theme, Setting, and Conflict.
Plot: I give you a point for it, because I'm pretty sure that humans would do the exact same thing. Also, escaping a Stable full of killers? Damn straight.
Character: Half a point. Not exactly sure what they were supposed to do beyond "Escape the crazy stable". I liked how you made Apple Core the name of her daughter. Tied in nicely.
Theme: Full point. You pulled off the general feel of the wasteland and Crazy Stable very well.
Setting: No points. All you really did was say "There is a stable with two sides to it that is symmetrical." and was done with it. You need to put more detail into the setting.
Conflict: Full points. You made sure that everyone was aware that it was an "Us versus them" feel, rather than "I felt like leaving so let's go!" feel. I give you props for it.
Total: 3.5/5. Above average score!
All in all, you really just need to detail the setting a little more and give your characters a little more back-story and psychological depth.
You want review, you get review! Cheers!
2686969 I uhh...I think that the first chapter may go above 10K...whoops.