Request and art. · 12:47pm Nov 23rd, 2014
I again am sorry for my lack of consistent updates.
Work has been especially grueling, what with having done a six day week with five of those days being twelve hours each. It wouldn't be so bad if I got paid for them, but due to being on salary, I only get paid for 8 hours a day regardless of how much, or little I work. Add into the fact I had to move, and, well... Not going to turn this into my sob-space, so... Let's just say I was rather stressed and had a lot on my plate. ^-^;
With things starting to get back on track, thanks mainly to my mother being awesome and helping me pack at short notice, I have gotten my head around things more or less. That means I can get more into writing again, and there are a couple of ideas I really wish to explore. On that, there are three issues. First, however, I would like to offer some art that I had commissioned, before I put my request out there and then get into what I would like to do over the next month.
Again, I am really, really sorry about the lack of updates! >.<
Anyhow, arts!
This was done by the amazing Valkyrie-Girl and I love it to pieces. This is Jess before she had a haircut, or, after the time-skip, either or! But, needless to say, it's adorable and shows Ebony and Jess and what they mean to each other in one simple picture. Will probably use this for my next story's cover-art, maybe!
Next I have a picture done by Glacbon, which showcases either Jessica relaxing on the couch with a bit of dress up for Halloween/Nightmare Night, or, alternatively, Ebony caught in the act of mimicking Jess. Either or could work! ^-^
There is one more picture in the pipeline which will hopefully showcase the main guard trio, Swift Dawn, Aurora Blossom, and Bastion.
But for now, hopefully these two will suffice!
Now, a while ago I submitted two of my stories to Equestria Daily just for fun to see what would happen. One was A Voice Among the Strangers, and, rightfully so, it was turned away due to... um, well... how poorly it is written. ^-^;
To fix that would be a massive undertaking, and I did ask a couple of people, but then I got pulled in many different directions and kind of lost touch with them. I am really sorry about that, and I apologize wholeheartedly! >.<
The second story, however, was Solitary Pinion.
It too was turned away for a few reasons, but the person who did so seemed to like it, and wished to see it featured. This is flattering enough, and I would have been happy with that! But, after talking to a couple of people, they suggested I worked on the issues holding it back. To be honest,I really don't mind if it does or doesn't, I write for fun, but if others enjoy the characters of Viktoria, Dia, Viridian, Remedial Oath and also like how I portrayed Flitter, Cloudchaser, Thunderlane, and Soa-... Eep, better not get ahead of myself! But, anyhow, if people enjoy it, then I guess I would want them to read it and enjoy it as well?
It's odd, I really don't know how I feel on it, but I just want people to enjoy what I write, and enjoy writing it. To all those who offer me critique, thank you, I feel I have improved immensely thanks to you! Also, to Milo, Treilacl, Extraintelligence, and Jyggy, thank you for also helping! I am never hoping to be a professional writer, and before I wrote A Voice Among the Strangers, I hadn't written anything of substance anyhow, outside of what was needed at school, of course. It was my first story, and, with it, I made a lot of mistakes. I also really enjoyed myself though, so that is something.
But strangely enough, and still to this day it baffles me, a lot of people seemed to like my horribly written mess! This encouraged me to write more, as I loved seeing people getting invested in the characters. Bad feedback or positive feedback, it meant a lot as it was that which drove me to write more. What began as a silly bet turned into a 200k worded piece of fanfiction, and one that I look fondly on now. Despite its flaws, I am proud of doing something outside of my comfort zone.
To see others become invested in Ebony, Jessica, the guards, or any of the other characters... To see people lament over Viktoria's fate, or enjoy the sister's and Thunderlane's interactions... Well, it makes me smile. Because it means those characters, in some way, are alive, and cared for.
With that in mind, I guess that's why I want to try and get Solitary Pinion on Equestria Daily. With the help of the others, it feels... well, I really am proud of each chapter. I know it's in no way professionally written, but to me I can look at that, and the two stories (soon three) in the 'Stranger-verse' (I really need to remember who came up with that term...) and I can see how much it stands above it, quality wise at least. Well, from my perspective at least.
But, more importantly, I want others to get to know Viktoria and join in her struggles as she finds out what happened to her, and the journey to the truth - whatever it may be - and the eventual outcome.
So, to that end, I am humbly asking for some assistance to get it up to the standards required. I know my limitations, and while I have some degree of creativity, my ability to stomp out errors and learn from my mistakes is... um, well...
Let's just say I am infinitely thankful of Milo and his patience. I think everyone who started reading AVAtS as it was being written knows that I had, and sometimes still do, have a habit of doing 'could of' instead of 'could have' and the other variations. It took me 12 chapters just to get out of the habit, and I still do it sometimes! Extraintelligence is doing an amazing job also helping wrangle my horrible writing skills, but I don't wish to burden him with more.
The issues at hand are mechanical issues. Lack of commas (apparently only half as many as I need), over use of comma splices (maybe), and also over saturation of participial phrases. The last one I had to look up, but it's just the way I write I guess. I feel if I can get someone to help edit it, and from that, I would learn what is right and wrong, I could resubmit it and see what happens.
I feel really selfish in asking for this, as I have nothing to offer, but well, if anyone is willing, and understands those things and can help hammer it into my skull, I would be very grateful.
Lastly, however, I apologize for the lack of Nightmare Night chapter. I have hit a roadblock around 5k words in, and not sure if I can storm through it yet or not. To that end, if anyone wishes to read what I have, you can message me and I will be more than happy to show it to you. I don't know if it will ever get finished, because I want to focus on something else primarily. Well, that's not true... I will eventually finish it, and the other little side stories, but me being me, these tend to just explode into many words when a thousand would probably suffice. ^-^;
As for what I am planning to do? Well, I have just finished the outline on a few things. The sequel to ASAtV/AVAtS is to be pushed back a little, but... that's only due to one reason. The guard story I have outlined as well, from start to finish I have the plot put down. But, there's another story that has been plaguing me, and a very annoying changeling queen nagging me in my head to do it.
The story is that of the All-Mother, the Flutterponies, and further exploring the changelings and the other hives. It will also involve the Kirin, and introduce four key members for the sequel. Harmony, Serene, and two others who shall not be named yet.
But... most importantly, it will have more foalings, huzzah! Plus Nee and Silver, who are desperately needing to be formally introduced.
So thank you all for your patience, and I shall get back to work asap on writing!
12 hours work days but only getting paid for 8? It's safe bet to say that you don't live in the USA, then.
either way, regardless of how long it takes, I'll always be looking forward to updates from you!
I've loved everything you posted on on fimfiction so far, and keep looking forward to any new chapters of your stories you continue to put out.
while i couldn't help you out with grammar and stuff, if there is anything i could help you with i'd love to.
and working 12 hours a day and only getting paid 8 is totally draining on you, I've done that before and it really sucks.
-gives you many hugs-
YAY FOR ART. The 2nd one still scares me.
And I will never stop saying that, I find it truly creepy.
Last I checked, Equestria Daily aren't interested in Human in Equestria stories anyway. Not that I check very often.
Don't worry about being slow to update, since a big part of the reason we love you so much is that you don't take shortcuts, ie, with Jessica learning to communicate or Viktoria adapting to her body.
2611799 They are interested to a point. They have stricter rules for HiE since its not exactly the most popular genre in the fandom.
Plus they have downright banned Brony in Equestria from their site.
I know how you feel. I recently got promoted to supervisor with all the responsibilities and stress that entails... and got no raise. Hell I'm trained and licensed security and I'm getting min wage (long story short. competitor went bankrupt and we snagged the contract for the same terms) Oh and supervisors get half an hour unpaid because we need to be onsite early for a briefing from the previous supervisor.
2611760 Fixed income/Salary. If she works 2 hours a day she gets paid the same as if she works 8.
look, you are a good author, and it pains me to say this, but you are the author of ONE of my one hundred and seventy plus stories I am tracking. I do not notice you apart from when you post blogs and chapters. I do like it when I receive updates from you, just like with most of my other 170+ stories. But i usually get around 3-5 updates a day, with little trouble remembering the story after the first hundred words or so. you could update as slow as you want, I doubt you could out-slow Article-2 or Night's Favored Child, some of my oldest follows, the latter having only posted a few chapters since I started tracking it.
First, ouch. I have worked a crazy number of hours before and it was really not fun. My advice to you on that one is to talk with your manager and/or start looking for other jobs because that is not the kind of thing you should be willing to accept. You can probably find a better position elsewhere that will not do that kind of shit to you, especially because telling them you are looking to move based on being overworked will make it very clear to them that you will jump ship again if they do something similar. Also, you can look for a new position while staying in your current job to give yourself a lot more breathing room in your job search, and the fact that they are working you so hard means you can take a day off for an interview without dropping below 40 hours per week so you just have to make sure you give them advance notice and there is not a whole lot they can do about it.
Second, that first picture is absolutely adorable and I also love it to pieces, although the second one is kind of creepy.
Third, fuck EQD. They are insane, excessively elitist, and heavily biased which is why I do not know of anyone that actually looks for fiction over there. In fact, I know quite a few people are like me and see an EQD feature as a mark of shame because they reject stories with real plots, character arcs, and meaning so the only things that get through are vapid wastes of space. Just today I noticed a story in the featured box that looked like it might have been interesting, but then I saw that the description said it was featured on EQD and immediately lost all interest because of how EQD deals with stories. Also, I know for a fact that AdmiralTigerclaw does not bother notifying EQD when he updates Arrow 18 which was featured before the site got stupid because he does not place any value at all on their feature any more.
If you want more proof, you just have to look at the rejection you got. While there are undoubtedly some minor errors because you can never catch them all (even major publishing companies let typos through occasionally), a bunch of those complaints were them not liking your writing style which is absolutely insane and frankly par for the course with them (I remember seeing a Lord of the Rings crossover get rejected for imitating Tolkien's style
). You should write the way you want to, not the way some random person on a power trip because s/he thinks s/he has some modicum of power over you prefers to write.
Woah. Ebony is that big?
I'ma reiterate what the rest of most of these fine people have said about EQD: They're bad, and they should feel bad. Don't listen to anything they say, because, inevitably, you'll get another pre-reader who'll want their waifu featured or something stupid like that.
2611770
Gonna have to agree with this. Though, I'm fairly sure that that's Ebony. First one is great, though. Might have to do my own sometime...
Your stories have the emotional Wham power of those like "Eternal" that leaves a raw little sadness in them, and a truly happy smile when the great things occur.
2611952 Agreed, agreed, and agreed.
The things that make it to EQD... Well, you have to ask, who in their right mind approved this?
Work, I really hope you can find someplace better, and looking for one, no one deserves that kind of abusive salary.
And dear lord, every image is downright adorable. But please, don't adjust your style for the crappy folks at EQD, everything ive seen from them, is outright horrible. As D48 said, they really come across as complete *****bags of the highest caliber.
I've heard, and seen "If they don't like you, it doesn't matter if you wrote the Iliad, it's not getting in." So nuts to them.
2611760 Some places stateside are just as scummy sadly.
Getting a HIE story featured on ED seems to be a matter of luck rather than anything to do with how good it is. Please don't end up braking your will to write through trying to bend over backwards for them.
Even if it's slower then you'd like, you still release a chapter every other month, even while juggling two stories. There are good stories on this site, that 'aren't dead' but still haven't been updated at all this whole year, and you don't randomly go offline for weeks at a time without word or reason, leaving us all guessing weather you still even cling to this mortal coil.
I'm sorry, I read the whole thing (and I say again, you don't need to apologize for the delays, good things take time !), but AVATS was rejected by EqD because of..." poor writing" ? What the actual buck?
I don't even... This story is one of the best I've ever read on a fiction site, and it got rejected ? I just... I have no words.
Your work is stellar, don't let anyone else convince you otherwise !
Thank you for the update and sharing with us those lovely arts, and see you next time !
First, sorry to hear about your work schedule! Some of the tricks employers pull are sort of forgivable in light of the bad economy, but I hope they'll remember who stuck by them through the bad times. You'll deserve some reward, when things improve.
Your stories are good. I'm not qualified to describe exactly how good, but they're good enough that I keep your fimfiction page bookmarked--and check back occasionally in case I've missed an update announcement.
{{Tystarr}}
Internet hugs fix nothing, but might make all involved feel a little.... fuzzier.
We all get rough patches where everything seems to line up all at once to take a bite out of you, so I think we all understand that you have to get that straight before you can create any more lovely horse words.
And honestly, I have to repeat what a few others have said regarding EQD and stories - the submission criteria are for want of a better (polite) word 'weird'.
)
It seems to be more focused on who you are and how many hoops you're willing to jump through, rather than how good your story is.
Don't read too much into getting knocked back by them.
(FYI there is absolutely nothing wrong with 'Voice'
I love the new artwork, both pieces are amazing! Valkyrie-Girl's really does demonstrate just how much Jessica and Ebony rely on each other. I never thought about how much bigger Ebony was getting, but we did get hints of her growing back in AVAtS, or maybe Jessica said thought about it outright. It has me excited to see more how Ebony will adapt to the changes she's undergoing.
Anyway, whether you think you've got horrible writing skills or not, all I can say is I've reread your works more than I'm ever going to admit. The only other pony fics I've even reread once were Fallout: Equestria and All Paths Lead Home, both post-apocalyptic fics. I've read yours... well more than once. Or twice. Or three times. But I digress. If you want me to be real, you do overuse participial phrases and I'm also not the biggest fan of your use of the word "Firstly," mostly because I never hear it used the way you do in normal conversation so it feels off. I read on mobile so whenever I see it I'm never in position to comment. But I'll bring that up while we're not talking about it.
Hey, no worries about not updating. I know first hand how it feels for life to get busy. Just take your time.
Also, "poorly written mess" my flank. Your work is some of the better work I've found in my dives into this fandom. Being humble is good, but don't limit yourself with false modesty and self deprecation. Are there some areas that could be improved on? Yes, but there's always room for improvement, and I hope you find an editor or two who can do your stories justice and really help you shine even brighter than you already do.
-C.Storm
Your story wasn't poorly written nor was it sloppy. It was amateur, as it should be. It is amateur writing and fanfiction of all things should not be held to the standards of publishable fiction. But it was still more enjoyable than much published fiction I read and is still one of the examples of how fanfiction doesn't always suck that I give to people.
AVAtS is not the best work of fiction I have read. Not even top 100, honestly. But I still consider it to be one of the very best fanfictions I have read in that it is highly readable and provides a very fresh perspective on its derivative aspects while making its original story and characters compelling.
There is always room for improvement, even significant improvement, but as far as the bar you needed to reach to publish respectable fanfiction goes, you cleared that by a mile.
2611804 ooh, I read hourly instead of salary. nvm.
The only thing that I would say your are not very good at is taking EqD's advise. I've seen quite a few "reviews" some of their pre-readers have given to various authors, and they are all over the board. They contradict each other and make claims based on personal opinion rather than looking at the stories from a professional point of view.
If you try to alter your current writing style to match EqD pre-readers, you will be dropping the quality of your stories. Like we all learned in D.A.R.E, "JUST SAY NO!" You are a fantastic author with her(?) own style. The point behind writing fiction is to tell a story, and thus, you don't actually HAVE to follow any specific writing standard. It can help, but sometimes you need to bend rules to ensure the quality of the flow and impact of the narration.
One thing to keep in mind. EQD pre-readers are not professionals. Do not consider their advice to be of any higher quality than that of any other random person on the internet. In fact, consider the random person on the internet first, because from what I've heard EQD's pre-readers are terrible, considering only personal opinion rather than judging on objective merits, and having an ego about it to boot.
I love Solitary Pinion, and while I am let down by the long update time, to me, it only makes the a new chapter that much more a treasure!
corncommentary.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Me-So-Corny.jpg
Thank you all for the kind words.
It's not that I want to change my writing style to meet their expectations, but more if that's all that's holding it back is a little alteration here and there, it would be strange not too... I guess?
I don't know... As I said, I am on two minds over the whole thing. ^-^;
But, again, thank you everyone and I hope not to keep you waiting any longer for updates. x.x
"Poor writing." This is code for "There's nothing I can find inherently wrong with this, I just don't like it." Seriously, if an English professor wrote those words on some assignment you did, you could challenge them and even take it up with the Dean. I've noticed several people talking about why you shouldn't take EQD seriously and how they're not professionals, and I must agree with them if EQD really denies submissions with remarks such as "poor writing."
As an English major, I can say that I am a professional, and if it's not too presumptuous, I'd like to state my own opinion. It is true that your grammar could use improvement and your punctuation is lackluster (although they've greatly improved between AVAtS and Solitary Pinion). However, your writing style - that is, the way you tell your story - is simply astounding. You can effectively describe a scene setting in just one paragraph, your continuity is impeccably consistent, your flow is as smooth as silk, and your pacing is great. And those are just the facts; the things that are truly based on opinion, such as your word preference and level of subtlety, are what define you as a writer, and therefore would only cause suffering from forced change.
img.pandawhale.com/post-28352-its-my-job-gif-Ken-Cosgrove-da-KbvG.gif
Seriously, this is something I like doing. I like to pick stuff apart and put it back together in better condition, I love to teach people and watch them improve, and I simply love my twisted, freaky, hodgepodge language.
Edit:
Since I'm all fired up now, I think I'll go write an overhaul of AVAtS. I'll mostly be doing it just for kicks-and-giggles, and therefore I probably won't be too thorough, but if you'd like to see it when I'm through, just ask.
I'd like to help with the editing, if you still want assistance in that regard. What sort of method (e.g., GDocs), timeline, etc. had you been planning on?
On another note, I really like the art! And I just realized that I forgot to track Valkyrie last time I ran across her work... time to fix that. Anyhow, really looking forward to the piece coming up, and any others that may happen in the future.
2612810 This. I know it's gotten better since I looked into it but EqD has a long tradition about being more about technicalities over quality. You can have an amazing fic but if it isn't written with the level of precision expected on a university english paper then it has a high probability of being rejected.
This isn't a bad thing, it just means that the spelling and grammar Nazi's can visit EqD and enjoy... They just might miss the point of reading for enjoyment... Which for me is the story and the world building.
2613363 2613615
Wanting to improve is, by far, a noble goal. Just don't get lost while on the path of gaining the approval of EqD's inconsistent restrictions. As I had stated before, you're writing a story, not a dissertation for your PhD.
I just don't want you to lose confidence because of that site. It would be another tragic loss to the community.
Maybe we should start a campaign to educate the fans so they don't fall into the EqD trap.
2613631 I settle for just letting people know. Of my 350+ favorites I can think of only one that I'd recommend to EqD and it's not something I read as much for enjoyment as it is something I read to make me think.
2613465 Wow an English Major. Certainly beats my Justice Degree.
Then again i guess that's why your the editor and I'm the random schmuck on steam the occasionally pokes stuff.
Chances are EqD rejected it on premise rather than bad writing. They tend to just not like Human in Equestria in general (the overwhelming majority of the ones there are grandfathered in, and Well of Pirene is the only one I can think of more recent than two years). Granted most of us probably wouldn't either with as much awful HiE as they undoubtedly have to sift through.
On a note of less benefit of the doubt, they're hilariously partisan at times, and I've seen far too much stuff get through there that isn't even close to the level of basic proficiency as VAtS, much less substance. But in this case I'd be more inclined to say it's the HiE thing just because it's that dominant a factor.
If you want to do a touchup while stuck with writer's block that's one thing, but don't kill yourself trying to appease them.
2616668
They used to be better, though. I found many of my early favorites through EQD, but looking back, I think Pirene was the last one I read after I saw it linked there.
Well, here's my 1.46 cents (after taxes):
- Equestria Daily is nowhere near the "mover and shaker" that it once was in the fanfiction realm; I'd go so far as to say that FIMFiction has largely surpassed it. I submitted one story to EqD, Crossed Paths, and though the rejection Email I got was worded politely and seemed somewhat helpful, I couldn't help but feel that they just didn't like my style of writing. Fair enough; I never bothered them with it again, and I don't really feel as though I missed out on too much for it.
- I'll be honest; your writing style does... irk me, once in a while. You tend to be rather verbose, whereas I bypassed "an economy of words" a while back and ended up writing as though I was being charged per vowel. This isn't to say that it's "bad", of course- I'll put up with a lot more than that to get at a good story, and your writing so far has proven worth the effort.
- Going back and revising old stories can be hazardous terrain. Hell, even redoing early parts of a current story can be a pain if enough time has passed. Changing too much can erase what brought your readers to the story in the first place, and every word rewritten carries the danger of changing the very story itself. If you feel that you really must do so, do it for the sake of the story, not to pass an arbitrary set of rules imposed by a pre-reader on a website.
Thank you all for your feedback!
Sorry I haven't been responsive lately, still dealing with moving and everything that it brings with it. ^-^;
To reassure some people, I don't wish to change everything to get onto EQD, I just wanted to see if I could. If I do or don't doesn't really bother me, because, as I have said before, I am just glad there's at least one person who likes my writing and the characters I created. ^-^
It was more for the challenge aspect, but more to improve my own writing. I do this for fun, well, I did it for fun initially, but that doesn't mean I can't try to improve, right? ^-^;
I guess, I just want to share Jessica, Ebony, Viktoria, and all the rest with as many people as I can so that they continue to live on. It's kind of silly writing it that way, but it's true. I've grown attached to them, and wish to share them with others, hee.
Anyhow, enough of that...
2648445
I'm really sorry my writing irks you, I don't intend that to be the case. ^-^;
I've read in the comments ( I do read every comment, even if I don't respond as much as I should! ) that some think I am too... Um... verbose? Yet I've seen others who like that aspect... I don't know which is right or wrong, but I guess it's just how I write? I don't know. x.x
I want to get better, but at the same time, I don't want to change so much that it stops being fun. That's partially my problem now, I am trying to improve, but it's making me second guess everything and I am finding it not even remotely fun to write sometimes. I do miss writing AVAtS, as it was my first ever thing I had written so I was ignorant and blissfully unaware of how much I was murdering the English language. But it was fun nonetheless, focusing more on Jessica's plight and not worrying too much about things.
Thankfully there were plenty of people who pointed out the 'could of' mistake, and others of the like that I kept committing. I felt I have improved, or at least, my editors have! Looking at AVAtS first chapter, and then at Solitary Pinion, or A Stranger Among the Voices and comparing them makes it clear that there is improvement. Well, at least I think so. ^-^;
Anyhow, long-winded reply... Sorry! I won't change my story, any of them, if I do anything to it, outside of poking and prodding to fix commas, word choices, and otherwise. That wouldn't be fair to those who read it if I went and tinkered with things. Besides, I am happy with it, flow wise at least!
Thank you very much for your feedback though, I am sorry that my writing upsets you though. Not sure what I can do about that, but am flattered that you read on regardless! Plus, I really do appreciate the kind words you have given me in the past, you're partially the reason I kept at it initially, so, yay! ^-^;
2616668
Nu, was very clear that the person liked the premise, something about it being unique or something. I don't really know, I didn't think Solitary Pinion was that unique a take on the subject. I just thought it would be a fun story to contrast Jessica's plight. ^-^;
2613465
Sorry for being so late in my reply!
You are doing a fantastic job, you Milo, and Treil! (Plus Jyggy, who gets all my stuff thrown out of my head at him when I am brain storming...)
Sorry I am taking so long on Solitary Pinion's next chapter, I am working on it!
To everyone else, thank you for the replies and I hope you liked the art! There should be another piece on the way at some point, I hope!
2649096 You don't need to apologize; it's just a conflict of styles. (This is one of the reasons I refuse to do editing or pre-reading- I have a tendency to want to get people to write how I do, and this is not necessarily a good thing.) It's better for you to stick to the style that best suits you than to worry about what someone else thinks, including me.
(And yes, you have improved!)
no need to apologize.... and i must say i'm sorry, i had you on my watch list and was wondering why i hadn't seent he story update or seen any blog posts... and i come to find your one of the authors i was following that the site decided to remove from my list. you back on, i have tabs on you once more, huzzah!